Hot Dates 3: Consequences of Being a Shared Wife

by Kirsten McCurran

  I mostly meant it. It did scare and anger me the way Carlos controlled my wife, but it also thrilled me to see what he made her do. If Carlos wanted her to lay back and take all his friends, she might do it. And I might hate myself for it in the morning, but I would love to see it. It was like Carlos was my id run wild. But he was not just an extension of me, and he could not be controlled, so he was dangerous. I wanted Dana to lose herself in the moment, but not lose herself completely.

  “So are we off break?” I asked.

  “Is that really what you want? This thing with Zach didn’t change your mind?” Dana looked worried.

  “It was just Zach? No one else?”

  “Just Zach, I swear.”

  “Then I think we’re fine as long as you keep me fully into the loop. I want to know everything.”

  “Agreed. But I do think we should start back in slowly. I don’t think I’m ready to start going at it hard again.”

  I kissed her. “Okay, but I don’t want you just seeing Zach, at least not for too long. I believe everything you told me, but if you’re with just one guy it just feels too much like you have a boyfriend to me, and I don’t feel good about that.”

  Dana looked disappointed, but she agreed. “If it helps, I was thinking of you, Dave. I made sure to record my dates with Zach whenever I could.” She picked up the tablet and handed it to me. “I downloaded them for you.”

  “That’s awesome,” I said.

  “You really had no idea? You weren’t suspicious at all?” Dana sounded suspicious herself. Did I not sound surprised enough? I took the tablet and hoped to gloss it over.

  “I had some suspicions when you got harder to get a hold of, but I didn’t really believe you were up to anything,” I lied. “I didn’t think you’d do anything like that.”

  “Sorry.” She sounded unconvinced but didn’t press it further.

  “We’re good really.”

  I sat back and pulled up the videos. I had to be as eager as I would be to see them for the first time. I pulled up the video of Dana and Zach in the living room. “Jesus, you’re hot, Dana. I missed this.”

  “I knew you must be jonesing.” She let me watch the video for a couple minutes and then said, “There’s one more thing you should know.” My eyes shot back to her and she quickly added, “It’s not about another guy.”

  Now I was perplexed. What else could she have to confess?

  “Do you remember the morning I came home after that last night with Carlos?” she asked.

  “It’s hard to forget.”

  “Well, when I was doing my walk of shame, Jana spotted me.”

  That froze me. We were very careful to keep the hotwife stuff away from our normal life. I had my own reasons, besides the obvious ones. “What did you tell her?”

  “I put her off that morning, but eventually I had to tell her the truth.” Dana braced for my fury, and it was coming.

  “You did what? How could you do that without talking to me first?”

  “I had to tell her something. She thought the worst already. I figured the truth was better.”

  I ran my fingers through my short brown hair. “Jesus Christ. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Would you rather she thought I was having an affair?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t. And this isn’t just about you.”

  “It’s not like she’s in a position to judge you, is she?”

  Sadly, for my friend Neil, his wife was not faithful. I did not know the extent of Jana’s cheating, but I knew she slept with her personal trainer. I’ll admit, when Dana first told me about our friend’s dirty little secret it turned me on. Jana is a hot, surgically-enhanced blonde. She’s a little bit older—in her early 40s—but she is the definition of a cougar. I got turned on thinking about Jana with her trainer, and was even jealous of Neil. He had what I wanted—a wife who stepped out—he just didn’t know it. But I doubted he wanted that. I had no indication Neil was like me. Fantasizing about Jana fucking her trainer easily morphed into picturing Dana in the same position. This was in our pre-hotwife days and I almost suggested to my wife that she see the personal trainer too, not that Dana needs it.

  “I don’t know. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m cheating on you,” Dana said, ignoring the obvious irony.

  “But it wasn’t just your decision.”

  “You share everything with those guys on that message board, don’t you?”

  “But that’s anonymous. Those guys have no idea who we are. It’s not the same.”

  “But you’ve never asked me how I felt about it, have you? And have you ever shared anything I wouldn’t like?”

  Dana stopped me in my tracks. I swallowed hard, because I was guilty. My essential argument was true. The hotwife message board I went to was anonymous, but I had taken stills, and even audio, from Dana’s videos and posted them on the board. Anything identifying was blurred out, but I knew she would still freak out if she knew I’d done that. I was just so proud of her. I wanted to show the others how amazing my hotwife is. I probably would have posted video, too, if I knew how to blur that. Despite our newfound honesty, I had no plans of confessing my sins, so instead I changed the subject.

  “What did Jana think? Does she think I’m some weird pervert now?”

  Dana smiled, trying to soften me. “I had to explain it—a lot. She couldn’t really wrap her head around the idea that you like me being with other men, but you’re not looking to be with women. When she finally got it, I think she was jealous, really.”

  I chuckled. “That makes sense. It would make her life less complicated, wouldn’t it?”

  “And I think she was disappointed we’re not full-blown swingers.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she would love to fuck you. You know that.” Dana didn’t say it like it bothered her. I made it clear early on that I had no interest in being with other women, and she accepted that. But I got the impression she wouldn’t mind if I changed my mind.

  “She’s just flirty.”

  “It’s not just flirting with Jana. She’d ride you like the stallion you are, baby.”

  “And you wouldn’t mind?”

  Dana cocked an eyebrow. “Are you asking for permission?”

  “No, I haven’t changed my mind. I was just curious.”

  “With Jana it would be okay. I know you’re not going to run off with her.”

  I leaned over and kissed her. “I’m not running off with anyone.”

  “I know that.”

  “Do you think she told Neil?”

  “I swore her to secrecy, but I can’t say for sure. I don’t think so, though. How do you feel?”

  I didn’t know how I was ever going to face Jana again. Yes, I loved that Dana was willing to indulge my fantasies, but I still had very mixed feelings what even having the fantasy said about me. If Dana explained it all properly—and I was sure she did—she told Jana it wasn’t about me not being able to please her or me being into seeing guys, but did Jana accept that? I was so afraid she was going to look at me like some kind of creep now. I just had to hope that Jana being Jana, she got it and would keep it to herself.

  “I’m not happy she knows, but I guess I can live with it, if it stops there. Does she know everything?”

  “Actually, it’s been a relief to have someone to talk to about all this. It can be overwhelming sometimes, and it’s not like I’m going to run to my moms’ group to discuss it. You have your message board. I’m glad I have someone to bounce things off of.”

  I took that to mean, yes, Dana had told Jana everything. That burning feeling was back in the pit of my stomach, and I tried to think of ways to avoid her. But I couldn’t do that forever. I just had to let it go.

  “And that’s it? There is nothing else you need to confess?”

  “Nothing else. You know everything now.”

  “Come here.”

  I pulled Dana into my arms and held her tight. She snuggl
ed into me and felt absolutely perfect. It seemed that everything was back to normal—at least our version of it. I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next.

  five

  We were off of our break, but I still didn’t feel I had gotten everything from Dave I was looking for. Dave saying that he was fine with anything I was comfortable doing seemed like a cop out. So if I wanted to set up a gangbang my husband would be perfectly fine with that? I was afraid he would be. I know it defies logic, given everything I’ve done, but I wanted Dave to put limits on me. I wanted him to say, “No, that’s too far.” How did he really feel about me if he was willing to let me do anything with anyone—anyone but Carlos, of course. He told me nothing had changed. He told me he still saw me as his loving wife, but I was not sure I believed it. I knew he loved me, but I guess I just could not fully understand how he could let me go my own way with other men.

  Jana thought I should be thrilled, of course. We were out for drinks when I told her about my mental struggle.

  “I keep telling you, I bet more women would be happy with your arrangement than would admit to it. How many middle-aged guys have let themselves go, or can’t get it up anymore? I bet a lot of those women would love to get out and find some young stud,” she said.

  “You don’t think I should feel devalued?”

  “Dave is a good man. If he says he still loves you, he still wants you, I’d believe it. I don’t buy the bullshit that this is all about your pleasure, but if he needs to tell himself that, it’s fine.”

  Jana and I had had versions of the same conversation several times since I’d confessed my secret life to her. She was endlessly fascinated. She was also thrilled that my break was finally over.

  “Not that it was a real break,” she said before draining her martini. “You were right about Dave, though. He really didn’t care. He just wants you to get back out there.”

  “I still think I should ease back into it,” I insisted.

  We were out for a girls’ night, which was Jana’s idea of my easing back into dating. I told her I didn’t know if I was ready for this level of engagement yet, but she worked on me until she wore me down. Dave enthusiastically embraced the idea, even if he was worried about Jana’s involvement. I could tell he was not comfortable with her knowing our secret. I made sure to pick Jana up at her house to keep her away from my husband until he got used to the idea. I didn’t think she would really do anything to embarrass him, but you never know.

  Neil’s eyes just about popped out of his head when he answered the door. He had seen me dressed up in the past, but not quite like that. My dress was a snug little faux leather thing that ended well above my knees. It was long sleeved and not really low-cut, but it had mesh panels that left my belly exposed and much of my chest, essentially making it a very low-cut dress. The back was mesh down to my waist, with a shiny zipper that went all the way down my spine. My fishnet thigh highs were the kind to stand on their own, as a garter belt under the dress would have been too obvious. My spiked black heels made it easy to lean in and kiss Neil on the cheek, after I let him drink me in.

  “Where are you two going dressed like that?” Neil asked, after hugging me for a moment longer than usual.

  “I don’t know. Jana picked the place and pretty much told me what to wear. This isn’t my typical Saturday night out,” I stressed.

  “I see.” I could feel his eyes on my butt as I walked past him into the house. Neil was a good guy, which made me feel bad about Jana’s extracurricular activities. I’d caught Neil looking at me in bikinis by the pool before, but that was normal behavior, and I didn’t hold it against him. I didn’t hold this against him, either. It was a shock.

  “I just hope she doesn’t try to get me in trouble tonight,” I said with a wink.

  “Just make sure to call a cab or Uber if you have too much to drink.”

  Jana made her entrance then. Her tight red sheath was off-the-shoulder and predictably low-cut, showing off those boobs Neil had paid so much for on her 40th birthday a couple years ago. It showed off all the work she put into her amazing body, but it was a little longer than mine, coming closer to her knees. Jana is already tall, so her platform heels made her tower over Neil. No stockings for Jana. She loved to show off her year-round tan. Her blonde hair was down past her shoulders and her make-up was applied more heavily than I ever wore mine. Jana was definitely a woman looking for fun. No one would be mistaking her for a mom from the suburbs. I had to wonder what Neil thought seeing her going out dressed like that. I know he is not as into showing off his wife as my husband.

  “Don’t worry, dear,” Jana said. Her kiss left a smear of lipstick on Neil’s lips. “I’m sure we’ll find someone willing to help us find our way home.”

  “Haha, very funny. You two be careful out there. You’re asking for trouble going out like that,” Neil said.

  I pouted and leaned against him. I swear I saw sweat bead on his upper lip. “You know I’m a good girl, Neil. I never find trouble.”

  “Then keep that one in check,” he replied.

  “Honey, you know I just like to have fun. I always come home. You’re the only man for me,” Jana said. I tried not to roll my eyes.

  And that was how we ended up in Callahan’s, a nice Irish pub-type bar downtown. It had the subdued lighting and dark wood you would expect, but I liked that it had an authentic feel, instead of feeling like a cheap knock-off. It seemed a little slow for a Saturday night after nine, and I felt we were overdressed for the place, but Jana insisted on coming here first. She said we could hit somewhere else if we didn’t like it.

  We were seated at the bar, but a bit turned to the side to face each other. It made it easier for passing men to check us out, and I’d noticed a few had, though no one interesting. Jana looked at me and said, “What’s to ease into? Isn’t this sort of like riding a bike?”

  “What do you think? I would just go to some bar, pick a guy, and go somewhere with him?”

  “Basically, yes. You’re a hot woman. It’s not like you would have trouble picking up men. Especially not if you dressed like this.”

  I laughed. “First of all, I was usually subtler than this.” But not always, I reminded myself. “And second of all, it’s more complicated than that. Yes, I could probably drag someone from a bar and screw them, but I’m never looking to sleep with just anyone. I need to find a guy I’m interested in, and I have to have a good feeling about him. A few guys have turned out to be creeps.”

  “So it’s just like regular dating.” It was Jana’s turn to laugh.

  “Something like that.”

  Jana flagged down our bartender, who was a pretty, slender brunette in her early 20s, and ordered us another round. I noticed that Jana was looking around the bar, like she was looking for something—or someone—specific.

  “What are you looking for tonight?” I asked. As far as I knew, Jana was not a serial cheater. She just met up with her hunky personal trainer, AJ, when she had an itch that needed to be scratched.

  “Just looking for fun.”

  “I don’t want to be indelicate, but you’re not…” I tried to think of a diplomatic way to put it, “…in my position. I thought you just limited your playtime to every once in a while, and one playmate.”

  Jana did not say anything, but kept looking toward the doors that led into the back of the bar. The girl brought our drinks and I sipped mine. The gin and tonic was much stronger than the first one had been. Jana paid the girl, including a very healthy tip.

  “Is AJ not on tonight?” Jana asked.

  The bartender gave Jana a knowing smile. “No, he’s off tonight. He hasn’t been picking up as many shifts lately. He’s very busy. But I could say you were looking for him when I see him.”

  “No, that’s okay.” Jana barely hid her disappointment.

  I shook my head and smiled softly. “So what was your plan? I meet some guy and go off, and you drag AJ out of here?”

  “Who said I
was going to drag him out of here?” Jana smiled slyly. “He could have taken me into the storeroom and bend me over a stack of boxes. I’m not picky. I even skipped the panties to make it easier.”

  I stared at her. “You’re not wearing panties?”

  “You are? I didn’t think it was possible under that dress.”

  “It’s a very light thong. What kind of girl do you think I am?”

  “I thought we’d established that.”

  “I’ve been out without underwear, but it generally isn’t my idea.”

  “And how often do you cone home without it?”

  I wasn’t too far gone to blush. “I plead the fifth.”

  “I think your panties will stay on if we hang around here. Since AJ is not in, how about we go somewhere more happening?”

  “I never said I was trying to get out of my panties,” I protested.

  “Whatever. Finish your drink so we can get out of here.”

  Finishing the second, stronger gin and tonic so quickly left me feeling giggly and a bit wobbly on my feet, so Jana drove my Prius to the next bar. She always made fun of me for driving it, but she couldn’t help complimenting me on it while behind the wheel.

  The second place we hit was called the Starlight Lounge. It was a different kind of place than Callahan’s, even though they were owned by the same people, Jana told me. The furnishings were modern, with a lot of shiny metal, and the lighting was multi-colored and subdued. The Lucite bar top was colorfully lit from beneath, with the colors slowly fading from one into another. There was a DJ in the corner, but not a real dance floor, and the music was not so loud as to prevent conversation. That was probably intentional, because I got the strong feeling that the Starlight Lounge was a pick-up joint. It seemed like a good place to meet men, but I was nervous. When I went to bars to meet men, I tried to keep to out-of-the-way places, though I did not think it was very likely we would run into anyone we knew here. Most of the well-dressed people seemed to be a few years younger than I was. And Jana was very much a cougar in that crowd.

  We found a couple of empty stools at the bar. They were high and I hooked my heel in the footrest when I crossed my legs. Tugging at the pleather dress protected my dignity, but still left my stocking tops exposed. Tall Jana was all legs on that stool. A pretty Eastern Asian girl was behind the bar and introduced herself as Nadia. I asked for another gin and tonic. The ride over had allowed me to sober up a little.