by Nicole Dykes
Just another day with the Monroes. Cam walks over to join Jax and Shriller while Luke, Dylan, and Michael casually make their way to them also.
Michael climbs into the driver’s seat, in full racing gear, and Shriller hops into the passenger seat to start their first lesson.
Everyone else goes to take a seat in the bleachers and get comfortable, but Brooke stays put. Instead of passing her, I stop to greet her. “Morning, Brooke.”
She smiles politely but is obviously distracted by what’s happening on the track. “Morning. I’m glad you could make it. It’s great to see you outside of work.”
I nod following her eyes which are glued to the track, but the car hasn’t moved. “You too. Are you okay?”
She laughs, apprehension flooding the sound and finally looks away from the car and at me. “It’s crazy. When I first met Michael, he was this scrawny little ten-year-old kid with glasses. He had this intense thirst for knowledge and was obsessed with spelling bees.” She looks back at the car, whose engine roars to life. “Now he’s almost seventeen and nearly as tall as Luke and Dylan and just as broad. He has contacts and couldn’t care less about school. He just wants to put his precious life in danger. I know he resembles a man, but he’ll always be that ten-year-old boy to me.”
I smile at her, in awe. “I’m sure this is really hard, but you know Shriller isn’t going to let anything happen to him. Kids grow up, from what I hear.”
That brings a slight smile to her lips. “Yeah, they do. Totally sucks,” she jokes.
“For what it’s worth, you and Dylan have done an incredible job raising those kids. I mean, look at Luke. From the stories I’ve heard, he used to be a handful, but now he’s a part of Dylan and Jax’s business. He’s been in a committed relationship with an amazing girl and just bought his first house. That’s amazing.”
She beams proudly looking over at Luke, who has his arm wrapped around Hannah, pointing out happily at the track. “That was all him.”
I shake my head, adamantly. “Luke's a good guy, but you and Dylan had a lot to do with who he is today. He’s the first to admit that. And Cassie, look at her. She has found epic love and is getting married this summer. Trust me on this, people would kill to have the kind of family you and Dylan have created. Michael's going to be fine. Trust yourselves.”
She smiles and we both look at the car that is still in the same place. “Thank you. It’s crazy, I always wanted a big family and then I just lucked into this one. I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to them.”
I gesture toward Shriller and Michael. “He’s getting the best possible training. Shriller’s being thorough.”
She nods. “That’s true. He’s been going over every aspect of racing for weeks and is only now letting him behind the wheel. And at least I was able to convince him that racing a car is just as badass as racing a bike.”
“Small victories.”
I say that just as I hear Luke yell, “Are we going to get the fucking show on the road or what?”
Middle fingers pop out the driver and passenger side windows of the car, and Brooke laughs shaking her head. “This family.”
The car takes off around the track, and Brooke sucks in a deep breath, her eyes glued to it. Her voice is calmer than I expect when she says, “Okay, I need a distraction. How are things with you and Cam?”
Not my favorite subject, but I owe her so much. “Fine. Weird, but fine.”
She nods her head like she understands. Knowing Brooke, she probably does. “Yeah, I can’t imagine living with your ex is easy.”
I shrug. “Well, you do see yours an awful lot, and you guys seem fine.”
She laughs at that, which is good to hear when she’s a bundle of nerves. “Well, we were in high school when we dated. Puppy love at the most. What you and Cam had sure seemed like the real deal.” She looks away from the track and her eyes connect with mine. “I’m sorry Vanessa. I talk too much when I’m nervous.”
My eyes drift to Cam, who is sitting next to Luke in the cement bleachers. He’s laughing with Luke and Hannah. One of the guys probably made an inappropriate joke. My chest tightens at the sight. My stupid heart fluttering at the best sight of him. “No, it’s okay. It was definitely real.”
I see her nodding through my peripheral vision, but my eyes are still on Cam. “You know, I fought my true feelings for Dylan for a long time. There were so many reasons not to be with him.” I finally pry my eyes off Cam and focus on my mentor as she continues, “But once I finally gave in, everything just fell into place. We still had a lot to figure out. Hell, we’re still figuring things out, but we do it together, and nothing seems that difficult.”
I nod my head. “There’s no question you and Dylan were made for each other.”
“You’re sure you and Cam weren’t?” she asks boldly, but not in a rude or aggressive way.
“I’m not sure I was made for anyone.” The honest thought spills out before I have a chance to stop it. I don’t miss the look of concern on Brooke’s face.
“That, I can’t believe. Don’t waste time feeling like you aren’t good enough and second guessing yourself. Life is way too short.”
I know she’s right about that, logically, but deep down there’s a voice that screams at me daily telling me I’m broken beyond repair. “Cam and I are far better off as friends. The relationship door has closed, but I’m desperate to keep our friendship.”
“Well, then do everything you can to do that. Honesty goes a long way in life. Don’t hold back.”
My eyes creep over to Cam again as I take in her advice.
She’s only about ten years older than me, but it seems like she has centuries of knowledge over me.
I’m going to take her advice.
I need to stop being this meek, shy girl and learn to be bolder.
Chapter 18
Cam
After spending most of the day at the track, we all went out to eat barbeque before Van and I left to go back to our house.
I haven't talked to her much today. Truth be told, I’m fucking drained. I don’t know where we stand, and navigating how to be her friend when I’d love to just grab her and kiss the fuck out of her most of the time is a real son of a bitch.
I take the exit off the interstate, now only about five minutes away from home when Van says, “I’m sorry about last night, Cam.”
I keep my eyes on the road, but I’m curious where she’s going with this. “Sorry about what?”
“Our argument or whatever it was.” Ah, so not that other thing. Her sexy voice calling out my name has been burning in my mind all day.
“Not a big deal, Van. I’m sorry I was an asshole.”
I see her shaking her head in the seat next to me. “You weren’t an asshole. I get why you were frustrated.”
That catches me off guard. “You do?”
“Yes. Being exes and living together is hard. It’s so confusing.”
I turn down our street, suddenly afraid of what’s coming next. “Shit. You’re moving out, aren’t you?”
I park the car in the driveway and turn to see a look of confusion on Van’s gorgeous face. “What? No. I’m in it for the full summer no matter what. I just think we should stop pretending that’s it’s no big deal.” We sit in the parked car, and I listen as she continues. “It’s a huge deal. It’s not easy and it’s confusing as hell. Your friendship means the world to me, Cam. We failed as a couple, and that part of us should stay buried. But it’s still hard to see you with other girls, especially in the place I call home.”
I nod my head in total agreement, at least about everything but failing as a couple. “That won’t happen again, Van.”
She smiles. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I’m just saying this is uncharted territory for me. I’ve never lived with an ex before.”
“Well neither have I,” I say with a quick laugh.
She smiles at me. “Exactly. So, we are going to mess up. Probably a lot,
but I think if we are just totally honest about how we feel, we can make it through, stronger than ever.”
I’m enjoying this frank conversation with, Van, but I can’t help but wonder how long before she starts holding back again. “Okay,” I say cautiously.
“I didn’t really do friendship before I met you. At least, I hadn’t for a while. Trust is something that doesn’t come easy for me. So, when I met you and you invited me to hang out with your friends, I still can’t believe how quickly I agreed to it. It was bizarre because I instantly trusted you. Then I met Luke, Hannah and Hunter and everything just fell into place. You guys became my family, and I don’t want to lose that.” She looks near tears when she adds, “I’m terrified of losing that.”
I didn’t know she had such a hard time making friends. She’s always seemed pretty outgoing, although slightly guarded. “You’re not going to, Van.”
She shrugs her petite shoulders, “It kinda feels like I already have a little bit. Hunter moved away. Hannah and Luke will probably get married soon, and we broke up. That’s why, when you suggested living together this summer, I agreed so fast. You’re one of my best friends, Cam.”
I smile. “You’re never gonna lose me, Van.”
We dated for a year. I’ve been inside of her more times than I can count. We’ve talked for hours. But I can’t recall her ever being this completely honest and open.
“Good. So, let’s just be honest. I do still get jealous. The fact that I’m almost positive Dani wants more with you than just sex drives me crazy. Hell, you guys having sex drives me crazy.” She holds up a hand silencing me. She must have sensed I would have something to say to that. “I realize we aren’t together, and I don’t want that to change. So, I recognize I have no right to be jealous, but I can’t control it. Believe me, if I could turn it off, I would.”
“I get it. Trust me, the thought of you with another man makes me see fucking red.” She smiles, and I ask, “So, what now? How do we move forward?”
Her head turns toward the front door. “Now, we go inside, eat popcorn, and watch bad reality TV. Maybe talk about the day. Maybe just sit in silence and chill.”
I grin. “Sounds like a plan.”
She opens her door and I watch her climb out before I follow her inside.
When we walk inside she pulls her arms up in the air, stretching, and, in the spirit of being friends, I only stare at her tits a little bit.
“I’ll make the popcorn,” she announces and bounces off to the kitchen, a sense of freedom about her.
I’m still wary as I go into the living room and turn on the big-ass, flat screen. As I take a seat on the comfortable couch, she walks in with a bowl of popcorn, a beer, and a glass of wine.
She hands me the beer bottle and takes a seat next to me on the couch. “So, what are we watching?” I answer by flipping through the channels and land on a rerun of Jersey Shore. She laughs when she sees what I picked. “Hell yes,” she says, taking a bite of popcorn.
I laugh, shaking my head at her. She loves this show. No idea why, but for some reason it cracks her up. I don't get the appeal, but I always love listening to her laugh when she watches it. “I thought you’d approve.”
“Something about this show just makes me laugh. I mean, these people are ridiculous.” She props her bare feet up on the coffee table, her knees bent as she slouches into the couch. And just like that, it feels like old times again.
I twist the cap off the beer and take a drink, watching Van as she drinks her wine, eats popcorn, and watches trash television.
Her head turns to me and she smiles nervously. “What?”
“Are you drunk? Did you drink at dinner?” I ask trying to figure out this new honesty and her seemingly loosened up state.
She giggles and shakes her head. “No. I talked to Brooke, and some things she said just made sense to me. I’m a twenty-two-year-old college graduate, it’s time to grow up and be honest about what I want.”
I smile at that, even though I wish what she truly wanted was me as more than just her friend. But I guess I’m lucky she wants to still be friends at all. “Well, Brooke is a pretty smart chick.”
Van nods her head. “Yeah. I’m learning so much from her this summer.” She turns back to the TV, but continues to talk. “Do you think Michael will be okay?”
I take another drink and focus on the TV. “Of course. He’s being taught by the best.”
“Brooke's worried sick. You’d think after the tragedy they’ve been through he wouldn’t want to tempt fate.”
Luke was being an asshole today, teasing his little brother relentlessly. I’m almost positive, though, it was his defense mechanism to battle being scared shitless. “Yeah, I know, but maybe it’s how he’s dealing with what happened. Everyone needs an escape.”
“You think this will help?”
I shrug as she takes another sip of wine. “I hope so. Luke said he’s been screwing around in school and getting into fights lately. Kid needs something.”
She shakes her head sadly. “Those poor kids.”
I want to ask her about her family. That’s one thing that has been totally off-limits with Van, but I don’t want to fuck up the good mood. “Yeah,” is the reply I’m left with.
One episode of Jersey Shore ends and another one starts when Van finishes off her glass of wine. She leans up, places the empty glass on the table, leans back into the couch and turns her head to face me. “Cam?”
I turn my head, looking at her. “Yeah?”
“You know that place we used to go to in Manhattan?” she asks with a dreamy look in her eyes.
“Uh, which one? We went to a lot of places, Van.”
She grins, “That area at Tuttle Creek Lake where we parked and watched the water flowing out of the dam.”
I nod, grinning myself. “Yeah. A lot of good memories there,” I wink, and she playfully slaps my chest.
“They weren’t all dirty.”
I laugh. That’s true. “What about it?”
“Was that a spot you took a lot of girls? You know, like your go-to hook up spot?”
Does she really have to ask that? “No, Van.”
Her pretty eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”
“Really. You were the only one I ever took there.”
Her eyes are glued to mine, and her voice is raspy and just above a whisper when she asks, “Why?”
I’m not sure what’s happening right now, but the tension in the room is palpable. I lean forward, put my beer on the table, and then lean back, allowing my face to inch near hers when I say, “Because that was ours.”
And that’s it. I must have said the magic words, because before I know it, her lips are on mine and she’s on my lap, her legs straddling mine.
I don’t waste time thinking and grip her strong thighs, holding her in place as I kiss her with every ounce of intensity I have. Letting my hands slide under the denim fabric of her shorts and feel her silky thighs.
I feel her fingers in my hair as she kisses me back, her tongue exploring my mouth, and my hard cock is pressed firmly between her legs.
I let my fingers drift to the hem of her shirt and pull my lips from her’s briefly, while I lift the shirt up and off, tossing it behind us.
My lips find her neck, and a soft moan escapes Vanessa’s mouth, driving me fucking wild. As I kiss her neck, her hands are busy exploring my abs under my shirt, featherlight strokes over every ridge.
I can’t take it anymore and grip her legs, hoisting her up and tossing her so she’s lying flat on her back on the couch. She giggles playfully, and I quickly pull my shirt off before joining her, positioned between those delicious thighs. Her arms wrap around my neck and pull my lips to hers.
I could do this forever. If only she'd let me. My hands slip down and unhook the black bra she’s wearing, and I slip it off stealthily as I kiss down her neck all the way down to her pert nipple. I suck it into my mouth, eliciting a loud gasp from Van as she arches her bac
k.
My cock is aching with the need to be inside of her, but there’s no way I’m rushing this. It’s been months since I’ve touched this body, and I’m going to enjoy every damn second of it.
I focus on the other nipple as her legs grip me in a tight vice while I grind against her. My lips find hers again, and as we kiss, her small hand moves downward, brazenly feeling my hardened cock through the material of my jeans.
And then she stops kissing me, her eyes open and she pulls her head back. Her hands go to my shoulders as she looks into my eyes and she breathily says, “Cam.”
Fuck! No. My whole body is screaming for release, but I can see it in her eyes. Van’s already made up her mind. “You want this too,” I say, a hint of desperation in my voice.
“My body does,” she nearly croaks, her hard nipples grazing my chest. “But we both know this is a terrible idea.”
I shake my head, looking down into those complicated eyes. “I don’t know that.”
She looks down at our entangled bodies. “Your dick doesn’t, but your brain does.”
Fuck. There’s no changing her mind. I push up and sit at the end of the couch and watch as she slowly pulls herself up, covering her breasts with her hands.
“I’m sorry, Cam. I really am. I know I started it. It’s just been a long time and you were being so sweet. And I miss you.”
Then why the hell can’t we be together? I think it, but I don’t say it. “I miss you too, Van. It’s fine.” She finds her shirt and slips it on and I ask, “How long has it been exactly?”
I’m a curious fucker. I can’t help it. She turns her head to look at me. “You were there.”
I gape at her as I ponder that information. She hasn’t had sex since last summer? And she still manages to stop what we were doing? Fuck, she must really think this is a bad idea.
She grabs her bra from the floor and starts to the hallway before turning to say, “I meant everything I said tonight, Cam. And I really hope I didn’t mess it all up.”
