by Nicole Dykes
He shakes his head adamantly. “No. I promise you he’s never been happier than he was when you two were dating. Not before, when he was fucking every chick he came in contact with, and not after. He may hide it well, but he’s fucking broken without you.”
I turn my eyes to look at the house, knowing Dani is probably still inside with him. “He seems to be doing fine.”
“That guy lives and breathes for you, Van. He may soothe the pain of losing you by being a slut, but I’m telling you, he loves you.”
“Speaking of love . . .” I turn the heat on him. “If you don’t man up and propose to my best friend soon, I’m going to nut punch you.”
He laughs at that. “Van . . .”
“I don’t want to hear anything other than you are going to do it soon. I mean what the hell is the holdup? I know you love her.”
“Of course, I do.”
I fold my arms, unmoving as I wait for a real answer. “Are you freaked out about being so young and her being the last person you’ll be with?”
He laughs genuinely at that. “Fuck no. I was with plenty of girls before Hannah and I know there’s no better. She’s everything I could ever want.”
I can’t hold back by smile even though I’m trying to keep my expression stern, because I know he’s sincere. “Then what Luke?”
His expression grows dark. “As soon as we are married, she’s going to want babies. Lots of babies.”
I look at him, totally stumped. “So, I’ve seen you with Sylvie, you’re an amazing uncle. You’ll be a great father.”
He looks away from me and I can see he’s truly troubled. “I lost my parents when I was sixteen years old, Van. I never thought I could feel a pain worse than that. Then I reconnected with Hannah and fell in love. I rode on that high for a second until the thought came into my head.”
“What thought?” I ask, intrigued and needing to know.
He turns to look at me again, eerily serious. “What if she dies? I can’t lose her, that pain would be unimaginable.”
I nod my head. “I’m sure it would be, but how the hell does marriage and kids change that? You’re already in love with her.”
“Like I said, as soon as we get married, she’s going to want babies. If the very thought of losing Hannah cripples me, what would I do if something happens to one of them? A baby she and I made together. We already lost that once, before I even knew,” he says, knowing I already know.
Hannah and I have no secrets. I know she lost a baby and chose not to tell Luke about it for years. He was furious when he found out.
“You can’t postpone your life because of what-ifs. That seems so unlike you.”
He shrugs. “What if something happens to me and Hannah? Brooke and Dylan did an amazing job, but we’re still clearly fucked-up from losing our parents.”
“It’s not going to happen Luke,” I try to reassure him, not believing what I’m hearing. Luke puts on such an arrogant front most of the time. Who knew he was so insecure?
He scoffs loudly, “Yeah, well sorry if that’s hard to believe, but my parents died in a horrific car crash. Dylan was shot. It’s like the Monroe name is cursed. Hell, it even affects our friends. Look at what happened to Shriller.”
“I admit, the Monroes have seen their fair share of despair, but you’ve also had amazing triumph. You guys are the most amazing family I’ve ever seen. Your ability to pick each other up when one of you falls, is nearly unfathomable to me. God forbid something happens to you and Hannah, you better believe someone will be there to pick up the pieces.”
He’s thinking about it. “She once told me she didn’t want her hell to touch me. What if it my curse breaks her?”
“I think that’s part of love. You share each other’s hell and somehow find a way to brighten it together. Just make her your wife already, because you two belong together.”
He grins and finally looks like the Luke I know. “You’re right, Van. Maybe you should let Cam help you through your own personal hell, whatever it is.”
Damn. He flipped it on me.
“Cam's with Dani. You and Hannah have an unmatched love. Don’t blow it,” I say this as I climb out of the car and walk back into the house.
I quickly make my way to my room before I see anyone and shut the door behind me.
I need to let Cam and I be over. This is what I should have let happen right after our break up instead of dragging it out.
He’s right though, and my heart clenches at the realization.
Cam and I can’t be friends. We can’t be anything.
It’s truly over.
Chapter 32
Cam
Today was a long day. Jax and I had several meetings with potential clients, which normally would be fun, but my mind was all over the place today.
The last thing I wanted to do was socialize with rich assholes that are reminiscent of my parents.
Having Dani stay the night last night was shitty, I know that. It was even shittier that we made damn sure Van would hear us in the next room.
She was so pissed off this morning when she found out it was Dani making all that noise last night. But not just pissed off, she was hurt.
Why the hell do I have to care? Why can’t I just be that player asshole she’s accused me of being?
Seeing the tears welling up in her eyes shredded my heart and I feel fucking terrible. I’m not sure where she went, but when she got back home, she quickly got ready and hauled ass out of there.
Maybe it’s all for the best.
“Dude, I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but you need to get it together,” Jax says as we walk through the front door of the shop. We’ve been gone all day and I’m ready to clock out.
“Sorry, a lot on my mind.”
“Aw, living with your ex not such a great idea after all?” he asks as he plops down in the receptionist’s chair. It’s after hours so she’s already gone home for the day.
“Uh oh, trouble in paradise?” Dylan asks as he walks down the hall to join us.
“Its fine,” I say curtly, not wanting to go into detail. I’m a fun guy, never let drama get in the way of a good time. It’s a persona I’ve perfected.
Dylan and Jax share a knowing look and then Jax says, “Sure, that’s why you were a fucking zombie today. I thought you were going to be an asset, but I think you freaked a couple of the clients out today.”
Fuck. Dylan looks slightly concerned and folds his arms over his chest, in a total dad pose. It’s weird because they aren’t much older than me, but I still respect the hell out of these two men. “This about Van going out with Chris? Because seriously man, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
Jax nods his head, in assurance, but then says, “Yeah, he'll just fuck her a couple of times and that’ll be it.”
My expression darkens. “Fuck off.”
Jax is fucking massive and truth be told, I'd never want to go toe to toe with him, but that image makes me see an intense red. He, of course, just chuckles, “Hey, he’d be doing you a favor. She can get her rebound over with.”
I’m about to tell him to fuck off again when Luke walks in from his part of the shop. He looks pissed as he reaches us and says, “Shithead.” He greets me, but it’s not playful like usual.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Why the fuck did you have Dani stay in my house last night?”
I rake my fingers through my hair. Christ. “Wow. So, Van tattled on me? What the fuck do you care?”
“I care because I don’t want that girl in my house.”
“Hey, I pay rent there. I really don’t think it should matter who I have stay over.”
“Oh, fuck! Catfight!” Jax says, jokingly, which makes Dylan momentarily chuckle.
“Aw don’t fight you two. I’d hate to see you guys split up,” Dylan teases.
I ignore them both and so does Luke. Jabs like those are pretty common around here.
“Well, it matters be
cause it’s a fucking dick move,” Luke says, his eyes flooded with irritation.
“Seriously? So, Hannah told you to yell at me? How fucking pussy-whipped are you?”
Jax shakes his head at me. “Dude, that’s really fucking low. I’m betting Hannah didn’t have to say a word.”
Luke shakes his head. “I fucking saw the pain in Van’s eyes this morning, asshole. Why would you do that other than to hurt her?”
I’m growing irritated being ganged up on. “Look, Van doesn’t fucking want me. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Pine for her constantly for the rest of my life? I like Dani, and I think there could be something there.”
Luke scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Dani is just a place for you to park your dick while you’re waiting on Van, and we all know it.”
I’m sick to death of defending Dani to Luke. “What the hell do you have against Dani?”
“She’s a fucking bitch,” Luke says.
Dylan steps in before I can. “Luke, come on. That’s Cass's best friend and Brooke and Alex are pretty fucking fond of her.”
“That’s because she’s a cool chick,” I say, and I see Jax agree by nodding his head.
“Whatever you don’t love her,” he says.
“Maybe not yet, but I’ve been so hung up on Van since we broke up, I couldn’t see anyone else.”
“So, you’re just over Van? Just like that. I call bullshit,” Luke says.
Dylan clears his throat interrupting. “I’d love to see the conclusion of this little tiff, but I have a wife and kids to get home to.”
Jax and him bump fists. “I’ll give ya highlights tomorrow.”
Luke and I both glare at him and he laughs, standing up. “All right, Jesus, don’t get your panties in a twist. Don’t forget to lock up,” he says and follows Dylan out the front door.
Luke turns to face me, waiting for an answer.
I huff loudly. “No, okay? I’m not over Van, but I want to be. She’s over me, man.”
“Again. Bullshit.”
“Luke, I’ve flat out begged that girl to be with me. She has pushed me away time and time again. Saying she doesn’t trust me.”
“Well, can you fucking blame her?” he fires at me and I’m furious.
“Yes! I can. I didn’t fucking cheat on her Luke!”
“I know that. All right, I believe you.”
It may have been his first instinct when he found out we broke up, but he was mostly just fucking with me and believed me instantly when I told him I didn’t. “Right. So why is it that you can believe me, but she couldn’t?”
“What did you do when she broke up with you?”
I think about it, not wanting to say. He’s looking at me like he already knows, but I didn’t tell anyone. “I got fucked-up at a party.”
“And ended up balls deep in some chick whose hair color or name you can’t even recall. Am I right?”
Yes. Not something I’m proud of. “What’s your fucking point? I didn’t cheat. We weren’t together.”
“Man, you sleep with every chick you come into contact with, why wouldn’t she think you did it when you were together?”
“So, she dumped me and I was just supposed to go celibate? That’s not how I deal with things.”
Sex has always been an escape from pain for me.
“Yeah, well I may get that, but Van doesn’t.”
“Well maybe we just aren’t supposed to be together then. Maybe she needs some virgin, pussy type.” Not that I want that, but fuck this is pissing me off. I’m always the bad guy. “Maybe that’s why I like Dani. She gets it.”
“Because she’s just as slutty.”
I cringe at his words. “I believe you ran through a number of chicks before Hannah. Why do you have such a problem with Dani?”
Luke looks irritated like I’m completely ignorant to the ways of the world and he has to explain it to me. “Because she has been standing in the way of you and Van since day-fucking-one. You fucking around with her hasn’t done a damn thing to help your situation, and you’re too damn dumb to see that.”
I stare at him. “When the fuck did you get so pussified?”
“That’s not a word.”
“Should be.”
He finally laughs at that. “Look, maybe I’m team Van. Okay? I think you two are good for each other, and honestly, I’m sick of watching Hannah cry every time you hurt her best friend.”
“She doesn’t want me.” My chest clenches just saying those words, physical pain flows through my body.
“She does. She’s just scared. Of what, I have no idea, but we both know that Dani is just a rebound. And I may not be her biggest fan, but even I think it’s shitty for you to use her just to hurt Van.”
“Look, maybe that’s how it started, but I genuinely like Dani. That may be hard for you to believe, but we have a lot in common, and I like talking to her.”
He doesn’t look like he believes me, but I really don’t care.
It’s the truth.
“I can’t force you to stay away from her, but I wish you’d at least consider not rubbing it in Van’s face.”
“Noted,” I say.
“I gotta get home,” he says.
We both leave, and instead of driving to the townhome, I drive to see the only person on my mind at the moment.
Dani.
I never thought there would be someone that could distract me from Van, but here we are.
I park my car in front of her house and a sincere happy smile spreads across my face at the thought of seeing her.
She’s isn’t my rebound.
She’s my revitalization.
Chapter 33
Dani
Cam and I lay in my bed, blissfully tucked under the covers together. I was practically giddy when I saw his car pull up this evening. Yeah, I may have been anxiously waiting for him by the door.
I’m not sure what’s happening, and it’s terrifying, but I can’t wait to see him when we aren’t together.
This morning should have brought me satisfaction. Van finding me in the kitchen wearing Cam’s shirt. After everything we’ve been through, I should have felt nothing, but victory.
Even I have a heart though, and seeing her run out in tears actually played on my emotions. I know she loves him, but so do I.
My heart picks up speed at that thought.
I look at our intertwined hands as Cam holds them up in the air between us.
Fuck. When did that happen?
An overwhelming sense of dread overcomes me.
I’m going to get crushed.
Again.
“What are you thinking about?” Cam asks me.
I can’t tell him what I’m actually thinking about. We aren’t even close to that conversation. “I can’t believe Alex and Shriller are married,” I say because it’s true, but a safe subject.
Cam grins. “It fits though. They really seem to love each other.”
I nod. “Yeah. I’d expect nothing less.”
Okay. Good distraction. Good job, Dani.
Cam rolls to his side, still holding my hand, but tucks them between our bodies. “Tell me something real about you, Dani.”
I didn’t expect that. He’s dead serious though, and I suspect it has something to do with the rules I set up to protect myself from this very situation I now find myself in.
He wants more.
That thought sends a flutter through my once blackened heart, and I think on it. “Hmmm . . . I hate peaches.”
He laughs, “You hate peaches?”
“Yup. Cannot stand them. I hate the taste. I hate the smell. Hell, I even hate the color.”
He chuckles again. “Have a traumatic experience with peaches as a kid?”
I giggle at that thought. “I don’t think so.” I turn to face him. “Your turn.” I want to show him I’m open to this.
He’s thinking it over, taking it seriously, and it’s cute as hell. “I can recite the entire Declaration of Independe
nce.”
I stare at him and then grin, suspiciously. “No way,” I say, certain he’s fucking with me.
“It’s true. I had to memorize the first sentence for high school government and was bored, so I read the whole thing.”
“And memorized it?”
He shrugs, “It’s kinda how my mind works.”
“Wow, that’s impressive Cam.”
He grins and moves his face so he’s not even an inch away from mine. “Now tell me something real.”
He doesn’t want something cute. He wants to strip away the rules. I can see it in his smoldering eyes. I swallow and say, “My middle name is Rae.” My voice is meek and I hardly recognize it.
A slow grin spreads across his face and he cups my face in his large hand. “Mine’s Alexander.”
He kisses my lips, fully enveloping me in a life-changing kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and give into it fully, letting myself feel free of every insecurity if only in that moment.
He breaks away from this kiss, but leaves his hand on my cheek. “Will you be my date to the wedding?”
I don’t even think and nod my head yes.
That’s it. Every single rule is broken. My heart is fully in his hands.
I just hope it isn’t the next thing to be shattered into a million pieces.
Chapter 34
Vanessa
Time has been a total blur since the morning I found Dani in the kitchen. Somehow, it’s already the Friday of the bachelor/ bachelorette party.
I’ve thrown myself into my internship with Brooke, trying to soak up every bit of knowledge I can from her.
I know she knows about Cam and Dani, but thankfully she has let it be an unspoken thing. She’s helped keep me distracted, and for that I am forever grateful.
Cam hasn’t had Dani over that I know of since that day, but I’ve still been coming home late and going straight to my room. I’ve barely seen him and it’s killing me.
It’s truly amazing how you can go from best friends to total strangers in an instant.
Brooke wouldn’t let me stay late today since the party is tonight, and in fact, sent me home a bit early.
I unlock the front door and walk inside, the house itself is empty, but there is a distinct thump from loud music coming from the backyard.
