by Nicole Dykes
Not the sexiest question, but I’m going somewhere with this.
I think she knows it too. A smile plays on her lips. “Just ask me what you really want to know, Cam.”
“Were you with anyone before me?” Not that it matters one way or the other. I never asked before because I’d just assumed she had.
Her hands find the waistband of my pants and she pulls me even closer. “No.” She moves her mouth to my ear and whispers, “I consider you my first.”
Holy shit. “Van,” I say her name, so many thoughts whirling in my mind.
Her tongue runs along my earlobe as she says, in the sexiest fucking voice I’ve ever heard, “And only.”
I turn my head, and in a hurried fever find her lips with mine. Gripping her ass in my hands, I pull her up, her long legs wrapping around my waist on instinct. Her fingers grip my bare shoulders as she holds on, and I press her against the solid front door.
I’m the only one she’s ever willingly given herself too.
My lips trail along her slender neck while she’s wrapped around me, my cock is exactly where it wants to be, but there are too many pieces of fabric between us.
I reach behind her and quickly unfasten the clasp of her bra, tossing it out of my way as I suck one of her nipples into my mouth. Her head tilts back against the door as she lets out a soft moan.
I hold her up with one arm pressed up against the door as I let the other hand travel between our bodies. Slowly slipping my hand into her panties, I explore her wet folds and rub her clit. “Oh Cam,” she gasps, her fingers in my hair.
She’s already close.
I flick my tongue over her other nipple and my hand works a little faster. Her hips are moving with me, and it’s not long before her nails are digging into my scalp and her back arches pushing her tits forward.
When her orgasm ends, she’s left panting in my arms, and I’m dying to be inside of her. I let her breathing slow as I lean my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes.
I kiss her lips softly before carrying her into my bedroom and laying her on the bed. Taking in her nearly naked form, I know I should say something. We should probably talk things out, but she grips both sides of her thong. Her ass lifts up as she slides it down and off, chucking it to the floor.
“Fuck me, Cam. I want you. Now.”
Yeah, we can talk later.
I quickly unfasten my pants and push them off along with my boxer briefs. My cock springs out, begging me to shut the fuck up.
I grab a condom and slip it on before joining Van on my bed. I hover above her, kissing up from her hip bones, to her belly button, over her perfect breasts, before finally reaching her mouth.
My hard cock is resting between her thighs, but I don’t move.
Not yet.
I look into the eyes of my dream girl as she gazes up at me.
Her hands grip my shoulders, and she lifts her head, kissing my lips. Her hips inch forward pressing against me, begging me.
I press forward, slowly entering her and feel her pussy instantly gripping me. When I’m fully inside, her long legs wrap around my ass, holding me there.
I stay unmoving as we kiss, relishing being inside Van. She finally allows me to move as her hips keep pace with mine. Her hands reach above us as she grips the wooden headboard, pulling her tits up as she arches her back.
I move in and out of her slowly, my cock grazing her clit on each thrust. She’s close to coming again. I can feel her pussy clenching in anticipation around my dick, nearly sending me over the edge.
Her hands leave the headboard as she grips my shoulders, and she signals she wants control.
I oblige and flip us over so she’s on top of me, riding my cock vigorously, her tits bouncing. I reach up, cupping them in my hands, my thumbs circling her hard nipples. “Jesus, Cam. I’m so close,” she says breathlessly.
I love how much she says my name in bed.
I drop my hands to her hips, guiding her body as her second orgasm hits. Her head falls back, and that’s when I find my own release.
For the first time in over two years, everything feels right with the world again.
Chapter 46
Vanessa
I’m lying in Cam's strong arms, my head on his chest as I listen to his heart beating. It’s six in the morning, and I’ve been awake for a while.
We stayed up most of the night. There was some talking, but not about anything too serious. I can’t believe I allowed this to happen.
It was incredible. It always is, but now the overwhelming sense of dread is setting in.
This can’t work
I’m broken.
I didn’t say that after we made love this time. I don’t want to fight with him. I don’t want him to talk me out of it.
Luckily for me, he's a heavy sleeper. I kiss his temple and slip out of bed.
This is for the best. I know he is going to hate me at first, but he will thank me someday.
I find my thong and slip it on before quietly making my way into the foyer. I pull my dress on over my deliciously sore body.
After grabbing my purse, I dropped on the floor last night and tucking my bra into it I open the front door, leaving Cam behind as I close it.
I have two stops to make on my way out of town. My car is at Hannah and Luke's, so I walk there first. All I have is heels, so I do the ultimate walk of shame in my bridesmaid dress and heels in hand.
It’s really early so I send a text to Hannah instead of ringing the doorbell, hoping she hears it. A minute later a tired Hannah, still in her pj’s answers the door. “Van? What’s wrong?”
I smile at her. “I’m leaving. I just need to grab my bags.”
Her face saddens. “Oh, I thought maybe since you left with Cam last night, you two may have fixed things.” She gestures to what I’m wearing. “Not to mention your ensemble. It kinda screams hookup.”
“I’m too broken to fix, Hannah.”
Her head shakes in disagreement. “Van, you are not broken. Your asshole stepbrother was. And your mother. But not you.”
I smile. “I’m going to miss the hell out of you.”
She pulls me in for a hug. “Then don’t go.”
I laugh and wipe a stray tear that falls, knowing I won’t see her for a little bit. “I have to.”
She nods and moves out of the way so I can enter to change and grab my stuff. After loading my car up, I give her another big hug and promise to text as soon as I get there.
Before leaving town, I make the second stop.
I park my car outside of Inked, Chris's tattoo parlor.
My heart is beating way too fast, but this is something I need to do.
I go to the back and climb the stairs to what I’m assuming is Chris’s apartment. I’ve never been here, but I know he lives above the shop.
I knock on the door. No answer.
I’m about to slink away when a very tired looking, shirtless Chris pulls the door open, blinking his eyes as they focus on me. “Vanessa? Are you okay?”
I nod my head and apologize for it being so early before I say, “I need a favor.”
He lets me inside, and I quickly explain myself.
One last bit of closure before I leave.
Chapter 47
Cam
I roll over in the bed, my eyes aren’t open, but I feel for Vanessa's warm body. I instantly spring upright when the cold realization hits that she’s no longer here.
Fuck! Please, no.
I jump out of the bed, still stark naked and search the townhome. Van is nowhere to be found.
No.
There’s no note or anything. I quickly pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before grabbing my keys. There’s no fucking way I’m letting her get away.
Definitely not like this.
I drive to Luke and Hannah’s and run up to their front door. I ring the doorbell and then bang with my fist frantically until Luke, who’s clearly pissed, flings the door open. “Dude, what the fu
ck?”
“Where’s Van?” I ask, frantically.
He looks at me like I’ve lost my fucking mind. I kinda have. “Van? I don’t know. Isn’t she with you?”
I see Hannah approaching the door and I push past Luke. “Where is she, Hannah?”
Her face tells me she knows. “Cam, I think she needs some space.”
“Fuck that. She wants space she can tell me herself. She doesn’t get to do it like this,” I say.
“She’s been through a lot,” Hannah says sadly.
“I know. She told me everything, but she still doesn't get to sneak away. She doesn’t want me, she’s going to have to say it directly to me.” I say with more determination than I’ve ever felt. “Where’s she staying in Manhattan for the rest of the summer?”
She never told me her full plan just that she found a place to stay.
Hannah sighs and looks at Luke who encourages her with a nod. “Our old house.”
I nod my head and give her a big hug. Luke holds his fist out and nods in approval as I give it a bump before hauling ass out of there and jumping into my car, headed straight for Manhattan.
Two hours later I park my car in front of the familiar house.
I don’t waste time and sprint up to the door and ring the bell.
Please let her be here.
The door opens, and I stare in crippling fear as a good-looking guy answers the door. “Can I help you?”
I glare at him with pure rage. “Who the fuck are you?”
“Excuse me?” he asks with annoyance.
“I said . . . Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?” I growl.
Suddenly, Vanessa appears at the door and she comes in between us. “This is Evan. My roommate's boyfriend,” she speaks slowly as if I’m an idiot, which in this case, I guess I am. She turns to Evan. “I’ve got this.”
He shrugs and walks off.
“Sorry man,” I call after him and then turn back to Van.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m not really in to the whole sneak out in the middle of the night thing, Van.”
She folds her arms as if she’s cold. “Cam, I can’t do this. You deserve better than this.”
“Better than what? The most amazing person I’ve ever met? The only woman I’ve ever loved, Vanessa?” I answer my own questions, “No. I deserve better than you sneaking out and running away. I’ve fucked up many times with you, but I think you owe me more than that—us more than that.”
She chews on her lip nervously and then puts her hand on my chest, pushing me back away from the door, but following me. She steps outside and closes the door behind her. “Cam, I love you. I’ve always loved you, but I am messed up. I don’t know how to trust you. The Kristas of this world will tear us apart.”
I take her right hand in mine, and I’m distracted by a flash of something on her wrist. I hold it up, examining the underside. There’s a small tattoo with two intertwined purple hearts and a date. “You got a tattoo? When?”
She pulls her hand back to her. “This morning.”
I stare at her, dumbfounded. “This morning? After you left my bed. You went and got a tattoo and then left? You hate needles.”
“It wasn’t so bad, and it was something I needed to do.”
“What’s the date?”
She shakes her head trying to dismiss the question. “Cam, I hope you and I can be friends. Last night was incredible, but you need to find a normal girl who doesn’t have severe trust issues.”
“Oh, fuck normal. Look at all the couples in our life! Not one of them are normal. Charlotte was married when she met Jax. Hunt was celibate for-fucking-ever after being cheated on, and Cass was fucked up from her parents dying. Luke was a player, and Hannah was harboring a fucked-up secret. Shit, Alex was engaged to one man and then dating another. Dylan was Brooke’s client.” I take a breath after spouting all of that. “But I would still bet money on any one of those relationships against “normal.”
She’s holding her wrist with her other hand, and I walk closer to her. Pulling her hand up between our chests studying the date. “What is this date?”
Her eyes look into mine, and her eyes shine with unreleased tears. “The day we met.” Then in a near whisper she says, “The day you saved me.”
My eyes widen, and I want to kiss her. I want to wrap her in my arms and never let her escape, but I don’t. Not yet anyway. “I fucked up last night. I wanted you so fucking bad, but what I should have done, from the opposite side of the room because there was no way I could resist you if you were standing right in front of me, was told you how fucking much I love you. How I am going to fuck up because I’m human, but that I will never hurt you again. How I know it’s going to take work, but I’m all in and I’ll do anything I can to make you trust me. If you want to call me every time we aren’t together to check up on me, I don’t care.”
“That’s not healthy.”
“I don’t care. As long as we are working toward the goal of you fully trusting me, it doesn't matter. I haven’t wanted anyone else since I met you. Fuck Van, you’ve been on my mind non-stop, no matter who I was with, which is disgusting, I know.”
Tears have started to fall down her cheeks, but that gets a laugh. “It really is.”
I smile and drop her hand, cupping her face in my hands. “You think I saved you, but you saved me too. Cassie's vows last night could have been written for us. You were placed in the same athletic dorm as me for a reason. I didn’t know how to love before you, but you taught me. Even after the hell you’ve been through, you brought light into my life.”
“Cam, things would be great for a while. Just like last time, but what happens when something shakes us?”
I tilt her head up so I’m looking dead in her eyes. “Then you talk to me. Don’t run away. Don’t shut down. Just always keep in the back of your head that I would rather die than hurt you. I love you so fucking much, Van.” Please trust me.
“I love you too, Cam. There’s no one else for me either, but I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“Trust me, there’s no pain worse than not being with you. Everything else we can work out.”
She smiles and rises up, her lips meeting mine in a kiss. A kiss that tells me, she wants this too.
She pulls back and looks at me, “I’m sorry I ran. I panicked.”
“I get it. You had to know I wasn’t going to let you go that easily this time. I gave up too fast the first time.”
She smiles. “I didn’t really give you a choice.”
“I’m glad you did this time.”
“This is going to be hard,” she whispers.
“It’ll be worth it.”
She kisses me again, and I finally wrap my arms around her vowing to never let her go.
Fate brought us together. Each the other’s gift after suffering through shitty parents. I learned to love and I will help her learn to trust.
Chapter 48
Vanessa
A couple of months later . . .
I grab my bag, laptop, and coffee from the kitchen counter and let out a yelp as I turn and bump directly into Cam’s bare chest.
“Whoa! You in a hurry?” he laughs. He’s wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, complete with a smirk and adorable bedhead.
I smile as I stare at the newest tattoo over his heart. Chris did a great job giving him the masculine twin of my tattoo.
The day Cam came to Manhattan, we spent the rest of the weekend talking, and he convinced me to go back to Kansas City for the rest of the summer.
We both finished our internships, and now we’re back in Manhattan. I let the old house I rented with Hannah go and moved in with Cam into the house he used to share with Hunter.
It may seem fast, but it’s not the first time we lived together, and we both wanted to only move forward. It’s been a little bit of a struggle. I’ll notice a girl checking him out when we are somewhere occasionally and start to worry. Then, all of my insecurities are wra
ngled in when I see that even though they may be looking at him, he’s looking at me.
He’s been so kind and patient, and I grow to love him more each and every day.
I smile and lay a brief kiss on his lips. “I have a class in thirty minutes. Where are you heading today?”
Cam decided not to go through with grad school. Jax and Dylan offered him a permanent position, and there was no way he was going to turn that down.
He gets to live here with me and work from here. Mostly drumming up business, scheduling meetings and then traveling by himself or meeting up with Jax.
He loves it.
“Meeting Jax in Topeka,” he says as he pops a grape in his mouth from the plate I made him for breakfast.
“Well you guys have fun,” I say
He wraps an arm around my waist and kisses me. “I’ll be back for dinner.”
“Good. Love you.”
He grins and plants another kiss on my lips with a loud smack. “I love you too.”
After that, I head to campus.
I hate that I let fear win for so long, but I’m so grateful that in the end I gained a makeshift family and a soulmate that will never give up on me.
The End
Bonus Chapter
Shriller
“Babe, wake up.” I say to Alex, who is apparently in a sex coma, lying next to me in our bed. She groans, and I gently shake her shoulder. “Alex!”
She rolls to her back. “Fine, but you’re gonna have to do all the work.”
I’m tempted. My wife is fucking hot, but I grin. “No, not that. Not yet anyway. Your fucking phone is going crazy on the table, right by your head.”
She sits up in the bed. “What?”
I point at the table. “I told you to turn it off before bed.”
She rolls her eyes and grabs it. “Who the fuck is calling me at two in the morning?” She checks her phone and pales. “Its Brooke.”
I sit up stiffly. “Fuck.”
A call in the middle of the night from Brooke probably isn’t good.
Alex calls Brooke, and she answers almost instantly. “What’s wrong?” Alex asks, her voice is panicked. She listens and there is a fear on Alex’s face that has me out of the bed and pulling on a pair of jeans. “Okay, it’s going to be okay. We will be right there.” Alex says into the phone before hanging up and climbing out of the bed.
