My eyes grow sleepy, so I lean over and lay my head on a suede throw pillow. I may as well relax until this stubborn man makes it home. No one will ever know if I close my eyes for a few minutes and rest.
The dogs scratch and whine at the front door, excited to go in the house. You’d think they hadn’t eaten in a week. I fed them earlier, so their excitement is surprising, not to mention that I know Nathan was here a few hours ago.
I got down to the south end of the ranch around four hours ago and set my stuff up for the night, only to realize I hadn’t brought my video recorder. I want it in case I doze off or don’t see something. I can go back later and consult the recording. It’s nearly pitch-black tonight, too, so I figure now is as good a time as any. Hopefully, the darkness will help hide me from anyone out and about.
“Hold on a minute, you two.” Grumbling, I open the door and both the dogs shoot inside. “Hey, simmer down now.”
The house is lit up, so it’s hard for me to miss Shyla when she sits up on the couch, hair all messed up. “Shyla?”
“Hey,” she greets, her voice laced with sleep. We must have woken her up, I hope everything’s okay.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had come by earlier to cook your dinner; I wanted to surprise you.”
As the words leave her lips, the smell hits me and my stomach rumbles. I wasn’t hungry before, but I am now, and it smells delicious. Damn, is that chicken?
“You cooked?” She nods, and I go into the kitchen to inspect. She’s made my favorites, and I nearly missed it all by eating jerky and laying low in my truck. “This looks great. You been here long?”
She glances at the clock and yawns. “About three and half hours or so, maybe a little less.”
“Damn, you were waiting for me?” She must’ve shown up shortly after I left.
She nods again, still sleepy. “I saw Nate before he left; he said you’d be back soon.”
“Oh, shit. I’m camping down at the south end of the ranch.” I gesture in that general direction although she has no idea where I mean. “I knew Nate was going out tonight, so I didn’t tell him or think to come back sooner. I wasn’t planning on returning until tomorrow.”
“Camping, well, that’s a relief.” She exhales. “I thought maybe you ended up going out on that other date after all.” She stands, and I get a good look at her and what she’s wearing, or the lack of.
“You look…wow…” I search for the words, but nothing seems good enough. “Nice.”
Nice is definitely downplaying it by a longshot; the description that fits is more like fuckable. She’s completely gorgeous in that “made up” sort of way—face covered with makeup and a skirt tight enough to be a second skin. The material hugs her hips so well you can make out her shape perfectly.
I like her better when she’s plainer, but I can appreciate the trouble I know she’s gone to for me. I love when she’s dressed in her normal tomboy sort of clothes, but damn, this look is hot on her too. When it comes down to Shyla, I will take her anyway she comes. Not that I’m taking her because I can’t allow that to happen. I won’t let myself give her my heart to crush all over again.
“Thank you.” Her eyes light up and her mouth tugs into a pleased smile, making me grin in return.
“So, dinner?” I ask and tilt my head toward the stove.
“Oh yeah!” She begins to ramble. “I remember you used to love some fried chicken. I thought you might enjoy it for dinner. You still like it, right? I wanted something you enjoy but don’t have a lot, so anyhow—”
“Hell yeah, I do,” I interrupt her, stumbling for words. “We don’t get much of that sort of thing around here. We usually just grill.”
“I thought so, so I made a macaroni casserole and a strawberry pie for dessert. Oh, and some biscuits too and I brought wine,” she finishes, a wide smile tugging at her lips.
My mouth nearly drops. She’s been busy while I was gone. And strawberry pie. Good Lord, I’m going to eat until I can’t breathe anymore at this rate. “You went all out then.”
She blushes, her gaze falling on her shoes.
“And you got all dressed up. What did I do to deserve this?”
She bites down on her bottom lip, and I grit my teeth because I want to bite that fucking lip.
“You had, umm, asked someone on a date, so I brought a date to you instead.”
I’m getting shy Shyla tonight, I see. It’s not like her often, but when she gets like this, I swear I feel like my dick could grow ten feet. I love it.
“I see. Well, unfortunately, I’m not dressed for dinner, and I had plans tonight, or else I would’ve made time for you.”
The lip she was just chewing on does a little wobble as she silently nods. She wants to cry, but that wasn’t my intention. The last thing I ever want is to make her cry over anything.
“Shy…”
“Hmm?” Her watery stare meets mine.
“How about you borrow a pair of my boots? We can pack this all up and have a picnic where I have my stuff set out?”
She releases a heavy breath and replaces her worry with excitement. “That sounds perfect.”
If she only knew.
I’ve dreamt of seeing her laid out on a blanket in the middle of a grassy meadow for years. As much as I will enjoy spending time with her, I know it’ll hurt my heart. Being alone with her like this will remind me why I loved her so much, and that’s dangerous territory to a man like me.
“Do you have something I can put everything in?”
“Yeah, I have a cooler next to the fridge we can use. If you load that up, I’ll go grab some boots for you.”
“Okay.” Her smile’s wide and happy as she practically skips to the kitchen and I head up the stairs to my room. I grab a hoodie just in case she gets cold later since the sun’s gone down. It’s still pretty warm here being in the south, but the nights can be chilly.
“You all set?” I ask as soon as I hit the bottom step, arms filled with a shirt and boots.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“These are for you.”
I hand her my newest leather boots and a clean pair of socks. Then hold my breath at the sight she rewards me with. Her shoes come off, and my socks replace them, going up to her knees, and my boots look ridiculously big once she pulls them on. It’s funny and adorable all at the same time, but seeing her in something of mine again after so long is exciting and painful all at once as well.
She never should’ve left me. Everything would’ve been different. Now things are just weird, like standing in the middle of an open field and not knowing which direction is north.
“Thank you, kind sir,” she jokes as we grab everything. “What were you coming back for anyhow?”
“Oh shit, thanks for reminding me.” I grab the recorder. “I forgot this.” I hold it up so she can get a decent look.
“A camera?”
“Yeah, it’s a recorder. I think someone’s been trespassing around the ranch.”
“That’s not creepy at all.”
I shrug. “Come on. I have a shotgun. Besides, when have I ever let anyone hurt you?” My brow raises in question.
Her hand falls to my forearm, and I draw in a quick breath, still shocked by the way her touch still affects me. “Never, Clyde. You’re one person in this world who’s always protected me. Thank you.”
Swallowing roughly, I nod, unable to reply without sounding like an idiot. We have a past, a painful, messy past, and she’s bringing it all back to the front of my mind. I still don’t understand what I did so wrong to make her leave and turn me down in the first place. It’s been forever it seems, but the wound remains as if it were only yesterday.
My heart still bleeds for her, and I’m beginning to wonder if it always will.
We get the thick flannel blanket spread out next to my makeshift campsite, and I set the camera up. I pretend to position it in a certain spot, but I know it’s actual range. It’ll record our din
ner and beyond.
Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I want to be able to remember this if she leaves again. I want proof that this happened tonight, that after so long she really did come back. I also need it to remind myself how deceptive she can be. How she can take my heart and just step on it.
“It’s so quiet out here,” she states after a moment, her near whisper breaking up the silence of the dark night.
“I know. The dogs help mess that up though,” I mutter and light a few lanterns, positioning them around us to give off plenty of a glow to see as we eat.
“Are you sure we can have this many lanterns going at once? Someone might see us if you’re trying to catch them being sneaky.”
“Just while we eat. I’ll shut them off when we’re finished.”
“Sounds like a plan.” She positions everything within reaching distance of us both, and I feel like a boy again. Sitting across from her on a blanket in the middle of the ranch. We’d done this very thing so many times before, yet I’d almost forgotten about it. We did everything together when we were younger it seems, now that I think back on it.
The dreams I’ve had of her so often made me begin to question if any of it’d ever happened or if my mind was making things up. But now I remember it clearly. All those damn dreams I had of her like this were real. My mind was replaying the instances at night, tormenting me with what were once happy times.
God, how I loved this woman.
“Dinner was wonderful,” I find myself mumbling after my last bite of strawberry pie. I force the delicious concoction down, way beyond the threshold of full. It’s been too long since I had a meal like that.
“Even though it was all cold?” She sucks some whip cream from her finger, and I begin reciting the different breeds of horses to cool my thoughts off.
“It was perfect, really,” I grumble and jump to my feet. I busy myself with turning the majority of the lanterns off while she packs the leftovers away in the cooler to keep. “I brought you one of my hoodies.”
“Thanks, that’s very thoughtful of you.”
Handing it over, I lie back on the blanket to stare up at the stars. It nearly swallows her in size, but she snuggles right into it. I can’t look for fear of never turning away. I don’t have to physically see her to remember what she looks like in my hoodies. I can still remember it as if it were yesterday. She used to always be in my clothes, it seems.
“Can I lie down beside you?” she asks innocently.
“Come here.” It leaves me in a rasp, busily picturing her in my hoodie and nothing else.
“You’re going to sleep out here?”
“Yep.”
“Like we used to do?” she whispers, and I swallow.
“Yeah.”
I don’t want to think of the nights we spent out underneath the stars. Many of them, I was pouring my heart and soul into making love to her. I was young, but I knew what I wanted. I was so, so dumb for falling for her and offering up my heart so easily.
“Do you, uh, want me to leave?” she mumbles after a moment of silence.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
Hell no.
She has to.
“No, Shyla.”
I should be kicking myself in the face for not telling her to get out of here. I’m supposed to hate her. She broke me in ways a man shouldn’t be broken. I haven’t been able to get close to a woman since she left. Sure I tried talking to them, even tried sleeping with them. Everything worked in that department, but my heart was nowhere to be found.
“Good,” she whispers. “I didn’t want to,” she admits after a moment and grows quiet again.
I can feel her staring at me, but I keep my gaze locked on the sky. If I look at her now, I’ll kiss her, and that’s one risk I’m not ready to take. One taste of her and she’ll own me, steal my heart once more, and I don’t want to be hurt again.
“Clyde?” She scoots close enough that our arms touch and I swear I feel the electricity on my skin from her.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve missed you.”
I huff. “Don’t do it, Shy. I can’t fuckin’ handle it right now.”
“Okay.” She swallows and gives in, but I can feel the charge in the air; it’s like a crackle of awareness. She wants it as badly as I do, and all it’ll take is me looking at her. I won’t give in, not now.
I know it’s driving her crazy to be quiet. She obviously has stuff she wants to say, but it’s her turn. She gets to know how I felt for so many years, wishing I could just talk to her, but having to keep it to myself. Maybe it’s a dick move, but after so long, I can’t help but feel as if she deserves it.
We lay silently in the dark taking the night sky in for what feels like hours before I hear her snoring softly. I remember the first time I heard her little snores. It was on another night like this. The same setup, but yet so different. The pain and past weren’t there haunting it.
The dogs are passed out as well, and the camera’s all set, so I lift her into my arms. I’ve missed having her so close like this. Not that I’d admit it to her though. Gently, I place her in the back of the truck on the pile of blankets I had set up to sleep on.
“Mmm.” She stretches, mumbling, “I’m going to be too hot in this.”
I help take the hoodie off, and her shirt comes along with it. I’m a gentleman but also male. Having seen her in the past, my eyes drop to take in her cleavage springing from her lacey bra. I would love to trail my tongue along those perfect slopes and have her cry out in pleasure. But I don’t.
“Here, you can wear mine.” Pulling my light T-shirt free, I put it over her head, and she sticks her arms in without opening her eyes, lying back again once her tits are covered.
She twists a bit, still sleepy. Fisting the shirt, she tugs it to her nose. “Mmm. It’s warm and smells like you.” It leaves her in a murmur, still half asleep and a pang hits my chest.
My heart’s still there apparently. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt it, but it didn’t crumble like I’d thought. One night with her and the damn thing’s beating again, telling me she’s where she belongs once more. Shyla’s back home.
My boots are toed off, and then I’m beside her in the bed of the truck, surrounded by blankets and pillows. Drawing her back against my chest, she warms my naked front. She releases a sigh and then she’s wrapping my arms around her tightly. Her fingers wind with mine, and I hold my breath. How can I possibly breathe when I’m holding the love of my life in my arms again after so long?
Planting a kiss on her hair, I take a long whiff of her shampoo, planting it in memory for later. I won’t forget this night, but I needed a chance to say good-bye, time for closure. I was able to eventually have it, and now I can finally make peace with Shyla leaving. I know I will never have her again, but I’m grateful I got to hold her in my arms one last time.
Cool metal hits my hand, drawing my attention. Peeking over, I find the silver heart I saw resting around her neck earlier. It looks like a locket, not just a heart now that I can see it up close.
She’s sleeping soundly full of sated soft snores, so I unwind one hand, using my blunt thumbnail to pop the heart open. Inside the delicate piece of metal is a photograph. My throat grows tight as I stare at a time I so fondly remember.
The moon casts just enough light for me to see her bright smile, beaming up at the camera, with me holding her in my arms. My lips are planted on her cheek where they were so often. My eyes are closed, but you can tell how much I love her in that very moment. She’s so happy, and I’m there, loving her as I always did.
I never stopped.
Tears crest and I snap the heart closed, mirroring my own.
Be home at 11:30. Nothing is open past midnight except legs and the hospital.
—Southern Momma
She opens her eyes, notices me and a sleepy smirk appears. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Grinning back, I take her in, memorizing everything abou
t her all over again.
“You were watching me?”
Nearly all damn night.
Eventually, I give in and nod. She stretches, pulling my T-shirt tight against her breasts. She must’ve woken up at some point and taken her bra off. I was obviously asleep for that or things might’ve escalated.
“Oh no, did I snore?” She giggles, and it’s the sweetest sound.
Before I can stop myself, my lips are on hers, pressing a soft kiss against her mouth. She draws in a surprised breath, her arms going around my neck and returns the kiss as her fingers trail up my neck. The tenderness evolves when her hand finds my hair, and she gives it a rough tug.
My tongue dips inside, searching for hers like a long lost mate. I’ve missed her smell, her taste, and her feel. Her nails dig into my neck, pulling my body to hers, my chest pressing against her breasts. My mouth moves with hers, doing a dance it remembers so well. I’ve already made her mine, and my body so badly wants to take what it believes belongs to it.
My hands explore, palms rubbing over her nipples, my cock growing thick. She groans at the sensation, and I make myself jump back. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
Her chest heaves with her heavy breaths “Don’t be. I wanted it—I want it, believe me.”
“This can’t happen. You just looked, well, I couldn’t help myself.”
“Please, Clyde, I enjoyed it. I didn’t want you to stop. I’d be happy to continue.”
Clearing my throat, I yank the hoodie over my head to do something with my hands. “I have to get back to the house.” And quickly, before I change my mind.
I scoot to the edge of the tailgate and pull on my boots. “I’ll grab the cooler and give you a minute.”
I can’t believe I kissed her like that. After finding the locket and seeing us inside, I couldn’t sleep. I stayed up all night, thinking of how beautiful she was, of how much I wanted her. Grabbing the flannel blanket we used for our picnic, I roll it up into a messy ball and toss it in the back of the truck.
3 Times the Heat Page 9
