Shyla shimmy’s back into her bra under my shirt and collects her own fancy shirt. She doesn’t change out of mine but slides down the truck bed to put my other pair of boots back on. I side-eye her so she can’t tell I’m still watching and paying her extra attention.
I don’t want her to know that I’m scared right now. I’m supposed to be the big, strong guy she remembers. Not this shell of a man who’s overly cautious to have his heart broken all over again.
“Shit!” she exclaims after a moment, her hand flying to the base of her neck.
“What’s the matter?”
“My necklace. I was it wearing last night. It’s gone.”
My gaze skirts over the blankets we were just sleeping on, checking around. “If I see it, I’ll let you know.”
It doesn’t reassure her enough though. She glances everywhere worried.
“It’s not a big deal. I’m sure it’ll turn up.”
“Please promise me, Clyde, if you find it, you’ll call me right away.”
“Of course,” I agree immediately.
She blows out a disappointed breath, finally stopping the search and loads up in the cab of the truck. I close the tailgate with one hand and the other, I stick in my pocket. I can’t stop myself from palming the cool metal heart and the memory trapped inside.
I will myself not to freak out in front of him, but I am inside that’s for sure. I can’t believe my necklace is gone. I’ve had it around my neck every day since a week after I left for college. I had to have him near my heart, and that was the best way for me to do it, to honor him in some small way.
Not having the weight of the silver around my throat is leaving me with a lost feeling. It’s been there so long that it’s become a part of me. It may seem stupid to some, but that was the one easy way I could see Clyde whenever I wanted. I guess I could just snap a picture of him with my cell now, but that photo in my locket was special. I’ll have to check my mother’s house to see if there’s another copy. She kept all the photos of us together for me in my old room or else maybe I could find another that I love.
He kissed me for the first time in what feels like forever too. At that moment, everything made perfect sense again in my life. I felt like I was back where I belonged, but then he kind of wigged out. Now he wants me to leave; I can feel it. He’s closing himself off to me all over again. It’s like we take one step forward and then two steps back. It’s so frustrating.
I don’t want to lose him again. Why do men have to be so damn stubborn? He’s the worst of all. You’d think he’d just give in after everything we’ve been through.
“I need to shower,” he grumbles, heading up the stairs as soon as we get inside the house. I want so badly to follow him up, rip off my clothes and jump the guy, but that could piss him off, and right now, it’s the last thing I want to do.
At least I have the shirt he gave me from last night. I can keep that for the time being, and hopefully, he finds my necklace. I doubt he’ll open it, but even if he did, maybe he’d see that I’ve kept him close to my heart all this time. I wanted to tell him last night about why I left, but I couldn’t get it out. Lying next to him was so perfect; I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Clyde?” I call out when the water shuts off, but get no answer in return. I wish he would let me in, damn it.
Sitting on the couch, I slide his gigantic boots off. I probably looked goofy wearing them, but it was romantic how he offered them to me and then held me close to him all night. His strong arms around me reminded me of what it felt like to be adored by him. He always made me feel safe, and it was no different this time. Gosh, how I’ve longed to feel him like that through the nights I was away. There were so many nights I craved his strength to help me keep going.
When we were younger, and I was with him, it felt like we were untouchable. I felt that way again last night, and it reconfirmed everything for me. I want him; hell, I need him at this point. It’s scary to need a man the way I do Clyde. It’s like I can’t breathe right without him, and when he’s near, everything just makes sense again. He fills my heart fully.
I’ll remember how he kissed me last night under the stars for the rest of my life. It was a chaste peck full of tenderness, but then this morning he gave in and kissed me as I’d wanted him to after he’d showed me that shred of tenderness.
One thing’s for certain. I’ll never love another man the way I love him. Everyone told us it was puppy love, but they were wrong. The love and devotion I have for him is the forever type. The kind that makes your soul burn for the other person.
We spent all this time apart from each other and for what? It’s only made me miserable, and this time I’m going to fight for him—for us. I made a mistake that night under the stadium lights when I told him, no, but I’ll never make it again. That I can promise.
My phone pings and I’m surprised it has any battery left not being plugged in all night. Not that I wasted any time using it. I gave every ounce of my attention to Clyde and our night together.
Amber: Hey, how was dinner?
Me: It was good.
Amber: Just good?
Me: It’s hard to explain.
Amber: Bullshit. Should we do beer-thirty?
Me: How about breakfast-thirty?
Amber: Okay, hubby is home, so I can as long as I bring him and the kid some food back, he won’t care.
One major thing I respect about Amber is the loyalty she and her husband have for each other. They always ask each other’s permission before they do things. It’s not because they have to; it’s done out of courtesy. This way they know where the other person is if they need anything and just showing each other that they’re fully committed. I can only hope to have that sort of companionship someday with Clyde.
She’s gotten some negative attention from our other friends over the years because of it. I think it’s great they’re that devoted to each other’s happiness. Plus, it must work, because they’ve been together for quite a long time. I should’ve done the same with Clyde and sought out his opinion back then. I was too dumb to involve him in a decision that ultimately affected us both so deeply.
I leave without saying anything else to him and pat the dogs good-bye on my way out. They’ve become friendlier with each visit. Clyde hightailed it upstairs, so I’m guessing talking is the last thing on his mind right now. I wish I knew what he’s thinking, especially after that kiss we shared earlier. I believed it was magic, but it seems he didn’t feel the same.
“What happened?” Amber asks the moment I sit at our usual table at our favorite breakfast shop—a little bagel place that makes Italian coffees, a variety of muffins, and sandwiches. I could easily be the size of a house if I ate the deliciousness everyday like I want to.
I divulge everything, leaving out no important details and then sip from my cup. Today they have giant chocolate chip muffins. They’re my favorite and taste like a fluffy version of chocolate chip cookies. I’m taking it as a sign. The universe knew Clyde was going to be a bit of a jerk, so it was making sure I got a dose of chocolate to soften the blow.
Amber ordered the super breakfast sandwich and a monster-sized fancy mixed coffee. I’m halfway tempted to ask if she’s pregnant again because I have no clue where she fits all this food.
“Wow,” she concedes after I’ve rambled for what feels could be the up side of an hour.
“Yep, that’s pretty much what I was thinking too.” I agree with a bite of chocolate heaven.
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? He kissed me! Then he basically stopped talking to me. He used to love kissing me. Should I be taking this as a personal rebuke of my kissing skills? I’ve never had a complaint before. And we’d eaten strawberry pie, so I know my mouth tasted good. His did!”
She snorts. “No, I doubt that’s the real issue. Have you thought that maybe it just stirred up old memories?” She takes a big bite from her bagel that could feed a small vill
age, and I understand her husband’s obsession with her mouth. She can fit some big things in there with the size of that bite.
“I mean, yeah, but wouldn’t that be a good thing?”
She shakes her head and finishes chewing. “No, Shy. Think of it from his point of view. You appear out of the blue, start coming around a lot, and I mean A LOT. Then you bring him gifts, he kisses you, and bam! It’s like he’s hit in the forehead with what he lost when you left before. Maybe the guy doesn’t want to have the chance to lose you again.”
“But that’s the point; he won’t lose me again. I’m here to stay, and I want to be with him. I’m talking about forever here.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I just think that maybe you should pump the breaks a little and give him some space. He’s a man, and sometimes they need that.”
“Are you kidding? If I back off now, he’ll put his stupid wall back up.”
“Hasn’t he already put it back up?” she asks and takes another bite.
Sipping a few small drinks, I run it through my mind. Is she right? Do I let him cool off, or do I go full steam ahead? I’m not a man. How am I supposed to know these things?
He’s the one person who’s always been up front and straight with me. I never had to guess with him. Now, it’s like I don’t know which way is up or down with the guy.
“It’s not the wall that I wanted up,” I admit after a few beats, and she coughs.
“Jeezus woman, too much information. I know you want to knock boots with him, but I don’t see it happening in the near future. And from the sounds of everything, I’m sure up wasn’t his problem.”
“I know it wasn’t. I mean he was pressed against me pretty closely,” I confess aloud, and she glares.
“You know I see the guy like a brother. I don’t want to hear about his cock being hard and pressed against you.”
The shop quiets overhearing her words, and I let out a loud laugh at Amber’s pink cheeks. She rarely gets embarrassed, but she is now. If she could disappear this minute, I bet she would, and it makes me giggle even more. I’m terrible, but she’s laughed at my expense many times.
“I spent many years hearing about your husband. Turnabout is fair play, my friend.”
“Fine. Just know I’ll share gross kid stories with you as repayment. Oh and when you finally end up pregnant, I’ll make you laugh until you pee.”
“You already do that. Remember shitopia 2017? Yeah, I’m jaded forever. And at this rate, I’ll never have kids of my own.”
She giggles at that and takes her last bite.
“Oh brother, you sound like your mother. You’re not an old hag, and believe it or not, this is not the South in the fifties. You don’t have to be knocked up and taking care of the household. That was her life, not yours.”
At that, I roll my eyes and toss my trash in the bin. “I think I need to talk to my mom about it. If anyone would know what to do, it should be her, right? She’s been married to my dad since she was nineteen. Surely she should have some advice on the whole Clyde situation.”
She shrugs. “Maybe, but your mom’s old school, like I said. You gave up the v-card to Clyde Owens’, and she thinks you two are a match made in Heaven. I on the other hand…I can see it for what it is. You still love him, and he’s grown into a bit of an asshole. You don’t know how to deal with assholes. I do.”
“Shit. You’re right. My mom thinks I can solve anything by baking a cake. Not that she’s wrong for thinking it; it’s just not always realistic. Okay, I’ll stick to our plan and kill him with kindness and back off a little.”
“Good, keep me updated.”
“I will.” Nodding, I finish my muffin and say, “By the way, it’s your turn to pay.”
“Hey! What about my expert advice fee?”
“Bye!” Grinning, I stand up and push my chair in.
“Fine, I guess I’ll pay. I have to order the man some food. I’ll see you later?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I smile and head for my truck.
Amber wants me to back off, but I’ve waited for Clyde since I was twelve years old. I’m done backing off; it’s time he’s mine. This time for good.
Boy, you are about as useless as a back pocket on a t-shirt.
—FiftyOneFifty
How in the hell did I get wood glue stuck in my beard? Shaking my head, I stare into the mirror and pick it out of the short hairs on my face. I don’t remember even touching the stuff, but no doubt that’s what’s on my face. Can’t say I’m surprised. Ever since Shyla came by last week and cooked dinner, I’ve been just shy of a trip to the nut house it seems.
Jesus, Shyla would never let me live this one down if she were to see me. She’d probably crack a joke about being wood and us being stuck together. At least that’s what she would’ve done back in the day. I can’t go look there right now; I have too much stuff to be taking care of to spend a trip down memory lane again. We all know how that trip came to a screeching halt in the end.
“Hey, Clyde?” Nate calls from down the hall.
“In here,” I shout and wet my comb to try and pick the thick goo off my face.
“I’m glad I found you.”
“What’s going on?” Dropping the comb, I meet his concerned gaze in the mirror and turn to face him.
“I was coming home last night, and I saw something…I mean, someone.”
“Okaaay?” Drawing the word out, my eyebrow hikes, wanting him to hurry up and get to the point. I really don’t want this crap drying; it’ll hurt like hell trying to shave it off. The clippers will end up snagging on me and yank the shit outta my face.
“Not just anyone. I went for a drive down the southern side of the ranch. You wouldn’t believe who I saw out there either.”
“Just tell me, damn it.” We’ve yet to catch anyone and my night of surveillance turned out to be a spooning session with strawberry pie.
“Randy Parsons and a few of his brothers were with him. They’re up to something. I can feel it.”
“Fuck.” The curse leaves me with a growl. In this case, Nate’s probably right. It’s most likely going to turn serious. Those asshats have tried stirring up trouble in the past. “I really don’t want to deal with them again.” A piece of me wishes Dad had put them in the ground years back, so I don’t have to.
“Ty and I took care of them before.”
“Yeah, you two may have whooped a few of their asses, but if all of them are in on whatever together, it can’t be good.”
“You have any guesses as to what they may be doing?”
Scowling, I drop my hand. “Besides when you had run-ins with them when you guys were in middle school, the last time I came face-to-face with those idiots was right before Dad died.”
His eyes grow wide, and he leans his bulky frame against the wall, waiting for me to continue. I rarely talk about our parents out in the open with my brothers unless it’s something positive and light. This isn’t one of those times, but he needs to hear it.
“They thought they’d grow some pot on our land to make an extra buck. I guess they figured if anyone found out, the sheriff would get us for it instead of them. Stupid inbred hillbillies.” I shake my head.
“No fucking way. Why didn’t I hear about this?”
“Dad didn’t exactly want anyone knowing about it. He told me since I was the one out patrolling, and he also let our uncle know in case Dad needed some backup when the shit finally hit the fan.”
“Did anything come of it?”
Turning back to the sink, I wet the comb again to continue with my beard and the story. “Oh yeah. It got a little crazy when Dad confronted them.”
The comb gets stuck, and I decide screw it. I’ll shave the damn thing off and maybe eventually grow another down the road. Trading the comb for a razor and shave cream, I go to work, wetting my face and smoothing the cream where I need it. Then I begin shaving my face clean, exposing my sharp jaw line.
“So, their old man threatened Dad and
me. Told us he’d hurt Mom and you guys.” I shake the razor, rinse it clean and keep shaving.
“Jesus,” Nate mutters, and I barely nod, not wanting to nick my skin.
“You know Dad.” I flash a grin. “He came home and set the entire lot of it on fire. I had the hose and fire extinguisher ready in case the wind picked up, but he was determined to send them a message.”
He chuckles. “Why am I not surprised. I think I remember him setting fire to part of the ranch and Mom flipping out about it.”
“Yep, that’d be the time I’m talking about.” Our mom was pissed. She didn’t understand why Dad didn’t just mow the lot of it, rather than burning it.
“Did old man Parsons do anything about it?”
“He drove right on over, pissed as all hell. Dad met him with a loaded shotgun and told him to never threaten his family again, or he’d make that burned plot of land their gravesites as well. I think Dad scared the shit out of them that day, maybe even literally. But now you know why we built the fence spanning the property.” Rinsing my razor off, I stick it back on its plastic hook and use the hand towel to pat my now smooth skin dry.
“Makes sense.” He chews the inside of his cheek, thinking it over. “Have they ever tried coming back again?”
“Nah, but I’m guessing they may be getting brave over time. I hear Parsons passed this last fall. Maybe his boys are picking up where their dad left off? I hope that’s not the case.”
“What are we going to do about it?”
“The same thing Dad would. Next time we see them, meet them with a loaded shotgun and tell them to stay the hell away. Hopefully, it works like the last time. That being said, I don’t want you going after them on your own, Nathan. You see them again, you come get me immediately. I’ll help you deal with it.”
“You have my word,” he easily agrees, offering me a tiny bit of peace of mind.
“Good. I appreciate you letting me know about it right away as well.”
“Of course. I’ll start a drive through every night when I get off work.”
“I don’t want you driving around when you’ve been drinking.”
3 Times the Heat Page 10
