Love and Let Die (Masters and Mercenaries)

by Lexi Blake

  “You want me to leave you here? That’s insane. Charlotte, that man is going to get you killed.”

  “That man” was right behind her. Oh, he moved silently, but she had years of practice in making sure she always knew if someone was stalking her. Her teen years had been one long lesson in always knowing her surroundings, in memorizing and cataloging anything that could help her to survive. The memory of his scent had helped her to survive these last few years. He still used the same soap, clean and masculine. She breathed it in. She turned and her heart skipped a little beat. It was still amazing to be in the same room with the gorgeous bastard. Her eyes held his as she replied to her sister.

  “You’re probably right, but I’m going to take the chance. Chelsea, you knew this was where I was going. I never lied to you about what I wanted. I love you. Leave me a note if you’re heading out.” She clicked the phone off over Chelsea’s vigorous protests.

  She turned it off because there was no way her sister didn’t call back.

  “Your sister?”

  Charlie nodded. “Yes. She thinks it was a man from my father’s syndicate.”

  “Zhukov or Sobrev?”

  Charlie frowned. “Zhukov. How did you know that?”

  Ian shrugged a little. “Maybe I’m the one who hired him.” He set the coffee down on his desk as she gave him her best stare. “Fine. I happen to know that the syndicate has two long-term assassins they use. I made a study of your father’s organization after they became involved with my Irish operation.”

  Liar. He’d made a study of her father’s syndicate after he thought they killed her. But she was going to leave him his pride. “Zhukov arrived at DFW under a Polish passport.”

  Ian grunted a little. It was his preferred method of communication. She’d learned to interpret his many guttural, caveman-y sounds. This one was his agreement grunt. “Not surprising. He’s the senior of the two. They must really want you dead.”

  It was time for some more honesty. “I’m surprised. I thought they would nab me, not just kill me. I know a couple of things they would probably really like to get the lowdown on.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Did you steal money from the Russian fucking mafia?”

  She really wished she could say she hadn’t. “I thought of it as my inheritance.”

  “Goddamn it, Charlie.” When he growled at her like that she actually felt cared for. She was so fucked up.

  “I could give it back. In the years since I took it, I’ve made ten times that.”

  “Do I dare even ask how you managed that? Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

  Because he knew her really well. Again, something that gave her hope. But she didn’t mention all the information she’d sold over the last couple of years. She’d tried to do good with it, but she wasn’t sure Ian would see it that way. She was absolutely certain that the world’s intelligence agencies didn’t see her as a force for good. She’d heard they had a code name for her—The Broker. Hopefully, Ian never had to find out about that. “Did you have a hard time with the police?”

  “I have contacts. It’s fine. You’re in my chair.” Ian frowned down at her.

  She gracefully stood. “Of course, Master.”

  Ian tossed his big body into the chair and flipped open his laptop. “I have Simon working on who took that shot, but I need you to keep your head down. He’ll try again.”

  So he wasn’t going to toss her out. Wasn’t that interesting? It would have been the easiest thing to let the police take her. Once she was in the system, it wouldn’t be long before someone came calling. There were several governments who would love to get their hands on her. He wouldn’t ever have to deal with her again. So he’d made his choice.

  But then she’d made hers, too. She would deeply prefer to stay with Ian and that meant following protocol. She sank to her knees. “Yes, he will try again and likely soon. Zhukov is very impatient. I guess they’ve decided to cut their losses and take me out.”

  She let her head sink onto his lap, the way she used to. He could sit for hours just petting her while he worked. It seemed to soothe him. For those hours she could let her thoughts drift because she was safe. She’d been able to daydream, and every thought had been about him.

  She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his thigh and almost immediately felt his quick and sure interest.

  But his whole body went utterly still, like a rattlesnake had wrapped itself around him, coiled and ready to strike. “Charlie? Would you like to tell me what you’re doing?”

  Getting her husband back. “You think better with a sub at your feet.”

  “I’ve never had a fucking sub at my…” Ian stopped. “You should get up now.”

  He’d never had a sub at his feet but he’d had a wife there. Just her. Only her. She had to remind him just how good it could be between them. She’d noticed that he’d brought the lemon donuts in with him. He needed her. He was so rigid. He didn’t allow himself anything, not even comfort. She’d grown to truly understand this man. Despite the fact that he came off like a big bad take-nothing-from-no-one Dom, he was actually a service-oriented top. It was what no one at the club she’d met him at understood. Ian needed to serve his sub, to meet her needs before his own were met. It was why he hadn’t taken the time to explain to Grace how he liked his coffee made. If he did that, if she changed her ways for him, he would owe her. He didn’t like to owe anyone.

  But he did believe in the power exchange.

  “I was very scared, Mast…Ian.” She didn’t need to push at this point. She just needed him in the right frame of mind. She let her eyes drift up. His hand was moving, carrying the lemon donut to his mouth. He was enjoying the treat she’d bought for him. He would enjoy this, too, if she just phrased it in the proper way. “Could I just have a few moments? It would relax me. I feel like I’m on the verge of tears, and I know how you hate them.”

  He groaned a little. “You don’t have tear ducts, Charlie.”

  Not true. She’d cried more over him in the last five years than she’d cried in all the years before. He held the key to her emotions. When she’d met him, it had been years since she allowed herself the release of tears. She couldn’t help herself. She rubbed her cheek against his thigh again, reveling in being so close to him.

  He didn’t touch her. In the past he would have petted her head, his palm stroking her softly as he worked. But there was nothing from him now.

  Then again, he didn’t toss her out on her ass. It was progress.

  A long moment passed where she heard him sigh and tentatively relax into his chair. Even his muscles seemed to uncoil and accept the situation.

  “What do you know about Eli Nelson?” There was the sound of his coffee mug scraping against the desk as he sat it down again.

  A dangerous question, but one she had to answer.

  “I can send you the file I have on him, but it’s spotty at best. I can tell you that he’s involved with my uncle.”

  Ian used his sarcastic grunt this time. “Does that really surprise you? You stole money from both of them. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that. It only made sense that they would help each other out.”

  She really hated her uncle. Mikhail Denisovitch had been her father’s right hand man. She had a couple of cousins who had been okay, but they were still syndicate men. She had no doubt they would kill her on sight if they had to. It wouldn’t matter that they’d hung out together and laughed. Denisovitch men were loyal to the syndicate first and blood later.

  “I know he’s met with my uncle a few times. I’m sure he claims he found the information that I was the one who hired the assassin. He didn’t do it himself, of course. I have no doubt everything looks perfect. The man knows how to set a woman up.”

  The tension was back in his legs. Damn. She shouldn’t have mentioned that. His voice was a low rumble. “Yes, he certainly does.”

  She needed to get him thinking about the present. “He knows what he’s doing
and how to stay off the radar. Most of what I’ve learned is because his contacts fucked up. It’s almost never him. In the beginning I got a ton of info, and when I would follow it through, he was waiting there to try to take me out.”

  “How do you know the Indian lead isn’t the same thing?”

  She’d wondered about it. “I don’t, but it doesn’t follow his pattern. No one can really cover every bit of his trail these days. There are too many CCTV cameras. I think that’s why he left England.”

  “He was done in England. He was through fucking with my team. He did exactly what you said, baby. He set us up to do his dirty work so he could walk out with the prize—an already set up network of arms dealing. I managed to shut that shit down, but it took some maneuvering.”

  Ah, the joys of habit. He’d always called her baby. His fingers drummed along the table, a sure sign that he didn’t know what to do with them. She could tell him where to put his hands, but she thought he wouldn’t take suggestions kindly at this point.

  “So he’s looking for a new racket. I’ll have Chelsea look into this Kashmir guy.”

  “No, I’ll have Adam do it. You and Chelsea should be on a plane going somewhere that is absolutely one hundred percent not here.”

  She needed him to understand that leaving wasn’t an option. “I am not leaving again, Ian. I’m making my stand here. I’ve spent five years on the run, and I’m tired. I want a life. I want it so bad, I’m willing to risk the one I have now. I want to be your wife and have some babies and be your sub. If you throw me out, I’ll sleep on the street outside your house because you need me. You need me and no one else.”

  He pushed his chair back, seeming not to care that he jostled her. “You should go and sit with Eve. No. Phoebe. Eve would talk to you. Phoebe’s scared of her own shadow.”

  She settled back on her heels, looking up at him. “I would rather be with you.”

  His jaw formed a stubborn line. “You can sit with Phoebe or leave my building. It’s one or the other. I’m willing to give you some shelter because I’m not sure if you’re playing me or not, yet. I can’t let you go if you have information I need, but I’m not going to play the devoted lover again, so get out of my office.”

  Damn it, she’d pushed him. She’d always been so impatient about the things she really wanted. It was her Achilles’ heel. She got to her feet with no help from him. “All right. I’ll go and sit where you want me to. May I have a computer?”

  Those arctic blue eyes narrowed. “So you can blow up the world?”

  He was a deep believer in hyperbole. She ignored him. “So I can make some notes about what I know.”

  “Just send me the file you have. I’ll make my own notes.”

  He could be so stubborn when he wanted to be, and he almost always wanted to be. “Damn it, Ian. I can’t just sit there for six hours or so until we go home.”

  “I’m not taking you home, Charlie. Because of Alex, we have to go to Sanctum tonight. If you don’t effectively play the role of my sub, our cover with the DPD could be blown. So maybe you should sit around and think about obeying me. Go.” He pointed to the door. “Don’t you dare cause any trouble. I swear if I hear you even talking to someone, I’ll tie you up and gag you, and not in a fun way.”

  He would do it. But she’d just been given the keys to the kingdom. She was going to have to make sure she sent Alex McKay a little thank you note. “Yes, Master.”

  “I am not your Master.”

  “If it walks like a Dom and delivers orders like a Dom, it’s usually a Dom. If he’s brutally sarcastic, he’s my Dom.”

  Ian caught her arm, whirling her around. “I mean it, Charlie. I am never going there with you again. That part of my life is done. I might fuck you again because Alex has put us into a horrible position and we always seem to end up in bed, but it’s only going to be sex. I won’t allow you in again. Do you understand? I’m trying to warn you. If you let me, I’ll tear you up and I’ll enjoy it. I’ll take everything I can and give you nothing in return except pain and regret.”

  But he’d already saved her life. “I understand. I’m willing to risk it.”

  He loomed over her. His presence sent her every nerve into overdrive. He closed in on her, forcing her back against the wall. She was suddenly so aware of her body—the way her nipples peaked, her breath picked up, her pussy ached.

  “That’s not very smart, Charlie.” He stared down at her. If she didn’t know him the way she did, she would have sworn he wasn’t affected at all. His face was emotionless, his body all intimidation. But she heard the way his voice had deepened and she expected that if she just reached out a hand, she would find his cock hard and wanting.

  She hesitated because touching him when he was in this state without permission would be a bad idea. Her Master needed his control back. She was going to give it to him. “I think it’s the only smart thing I’ve ever done.”

  He leaned in, pressing his body against hers. Yes, he was definitely not unaffected. “Then I won’t try to help you again. I’ll take what you give me and I won’t apologize, but this is going to go my way from now on. You’re going to obey me or this whole process is done.”

  She nodded, not taking her eyes off him even as he pressed his cock against her belly. She couldn’t help but soften against him, but she kept her hands to her sides. He wasn’t ready for her affection. “All right, Ian.”

  “Go to the accounting office. I expect you to be sitting there in her office at five o’clock. At noon, you may get up and have lunch with Phoebe in the break room. She’s the only one who doesn’t eat out or in her office. You may not talk to her. I’ll have someone go downstairs and get you a sandwich and a drink. You will have forty-five minutes at which time you will return to your seat. If you need a bathroom break, ask Eve or Grace to escort you.”

  Oh, he was going to try her limits, it seemed. She knew she should agree, but the bratty words just flowed from her mouth. “I think I can find my way to the bathroom, Ian.”

  “That’s ten.”

  She had to take a deep breath. Oh, fuck, he was going there. “I thought you weren’t my Master.”

  His hands were on her shoulders, lightly tracing the lines of her body. His voice had softened as though he was thinking of something else, something sweeter. “I’m your Dom for now because it’s the only way I can trust you to do what I tell you. You’re dangerous and someone has to keep you in line. I’m viewing myself as a rattlesnake handler. We’re in high protocol, Charlie. You will speak when spoken to. You will obey my every directive or you will take your punishment. If you do not follow my rules, I’ll contact the Agency and let them handle you.”

  He wanted her in a corner with no way out. He didn’t seem to understand she didn’t want out. He needed to be in charge. She was willing to spend a boring day so that he got what he needed. “Yes, Master…I mean, Sir.”

  Master meant they had a special relationship. She’d fucked that up. A Sir could be any Dom. It was a politeness. Despite the fact that he was definitely acting like her Master, he needed to be Sir for now. She could play that way.

  “I mean it, Charlie. This is all you’re going to get out of me.” He pressed his cock against her, bringing his forehead to hers. “I’m not the man you knew. I’m a bastard, and I won’t feel a moment’s regret fucking you and leaving you to your fate when I’m done. When I have what I need out of you, I’ll walk away and I won’t look back. I buried you a long time ago. There’s nothing left but a little bit of lust and a whole lot of business between us.”

  But the lust was so building. She could practically feel it rolling off him. “If we’re laying all our cards on the table, I should tell you that I intend to find my way into your bed and I intend to stay there. I don’t care how long it takes. You loved me once. I’ll make you love me again.”

  “I never loved you, Charlie.” He breathed the words against her skin. His hands moved from her shoulders to her chest, his eyes trailing do
wn. He let his palms rest over her mounds and sighed a little.

  God, if he didn’t love her, she would take the connection she felt with him anyway. “Again, a risk I’m willing to take. You want me.”

  He took a long step back, but his eyes remained on her chest. “Yes, but it’s not the same. It’s sexual chemistry. I’m willing to admit that I have it with you. I have more sexual chemistry with you than most other women. But lust is all there is between us. Show me your breasts.”

  Lust felt so good. She ignored his line about most other women because it was just sheer stubborn stupidity. In the last several years she’d learned to shove the bad crap aside and revel in the rare sweet times. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t tease and taunt him. She simply pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it aside before going to work on her bra.

  Cool air hit her skin. Her nipples were still puckered from the feel of his hands on her body. She let the bra slip out of her fingers before assuming the position she was sure he wanted. Hands clasped behind her back, chest thrust out.

  Ian stared. Charlie waited. He liked to spend long, agonizing moments just looking at her.

  Your body belongs to me. Your breasts, your pussy, your ass are all my property. He’d said the words to her so long ago, but she could still hear his dark voice claiming her.

  What do I get in return? She’d asked, her voice breathless.

  I’m yours. Only yours, Charlie. Everything I am. Everything I have. Everything I will be. All yours. Past. Present. Future. I’ll give them to you.

  She’d screwed up the past. Needed the present. Longed for a future. So she stood there, offering him everything she had.

  He reached out and placed a hand on her breast, lightly at first, his fingers skimming her skin. His eyes were down, watching the place where they connected. He traced the round disc surrounding her nipple, watching it tighten and peak for him. He brushed the nipple, making her want to beg him to tug it into his mouth. Her body was softening in all the right places. She could feel her pussy getting wet and ready. All he had to do was touch her and she was ready to spread her legs and welcome him home.