Dead Radiance

by Ayer, T. G.

  "So that is what she meant on the field this morning."

  "You heard that?"

  "Yes, I heard, but I did not understand. You know what it is like to only hear part of the conversation."

  "Yup." I sure did; I sighed inwardly, thinking of the time I'd eavesdropped on Aidan and Ms. Custer. "So, what now? What are we supposed to do?"

  Worry crept into Sigrun's eyes. "Freya told you she wanted to talk to you. She will call you to her before she leaves."

  "So I'm just supposed to sit around and wait?"

  "Yes. You can try to order a goddess around if you wish. Personally I would look out for my own neck first. Then my heart."

  ***

  I didn't have too long to wait. Just a night of tossing and turning. When Turi brought breakfast the next morning, it came with a little message. A small scroll lay next to a goblet of Mead. At my questioning look Turi said, "The Mead is for your injuries from your training yesterday, and the message is from the goddess Freya."

  "But I wasn't hurt. . . ." Turi was bustling about pretending not to hear me at all.

  I downed the Mead. Not only for its rejuvenating sweetness, but for the little rush of peace that came with each swallow. Who would have thought of peace and tranquility as a drug? Just imagine what would happen if some Earthly genius figured out how to make Mead. Instant euphoria. All medical cures would be incidental and gratis. Sure.

  I stared at the roll of paper. Did I truly want to read her message? I wasn't sure what Freya was up to. At last, I steeled myself and grasped the scroll with two fingers, my blood thrumming in my head. I smoothed the paper open and read a request for my attendance, after breakfast, in Odin's Hall. That was it. Not even a signature. Only the golden edges of the paper implied that Freya might be the sender.

  Right. Still no idea what Her Haughtiness wanted. Guess I'd find out soon enough. I finished breakfast and dressed alone. Turi had snuck out quietly before I'd opened the note. Perhaps it was better I was alone anyway. I wasn't the best company right now. Filled with anger and frustration. I wasn't sure what I'd do or say.

  I'd thought, for a short while, that I'd begun to make my own choices, to live my life the way I wanted to. Being a Valkyrie meant the ability to help people. Even if I was just a nicer looking, living version of Charon, the boatman of the river Styx.

  But had I really ever had control of my choices, swept along on the tide of this unbelievable fantastical world? I wished it were all a dream. Here again, I was hooked; Freya was just reeling in her catch. What would she want from me?

  ***

  I charged into the Hall, my eyes darting around for my summoner.

  "If you are looking for your lover, my dear, he is not here." Freya's voice was a silken thread, weaving around me.

  I walked to the dais, bristling. "He is not my lover!"

  "Mere semantics, my dear." Freya smiled and beckoned me toward the dais. "Come closer, child. I will not bite."

  Well, I'm not so sure about that.

  I moved forward and met the eyes of the goddess. Well, I would have looked her in the eye if her attention hadn't been on my neck. The pendant glimmered brightly. Strange. That was the second time it had done that. The first time was only yesterday, when Freya came to speak to the Valkyries.

  Now, with her eyes trained on the jewel, I steeled myself against a shiver. She dragged her gaze away and said, "I think my choice of Aidan as one of my Chosen does not make you very happy."

  I shrugged, not wanting to let her know how unhappy I truly was.

  "Well, perhaps then we have nothing to discuss." Her eyes darkened. My nonchalance had angered her. Or maybe she'd thought she had more power to manipulate me with Aidan in her possession.

  I wasn't too sure what to say. Should I beg for his freedom? Or just leave? What was the worst that could happen anyway? Aidan would just be out of my life forever. Again. Not something I wasn't used to. He'd betrayed me, lied to me. I shouldn't really give a damn what happened to him.

  My silence filled the hall. All I heard was my hushed breathing and the nervous flutter of the wings at my back. Freya glared, and I felt an enormous pressure to speak. "What do you want? In return for Aidan?" My voice rang out, each syllable echoing around the hall like little explosions.

  She smiled, satisfied. I knew I'd given in. Even gritted my teeth for backing down. But I didn't care. She wanted something and I was damned if I couldn't figure out what it was.

  "Well, Brunhilde. You still have the same spirit." She nodded to herself.

  "My name is Bryn. I'm not Brunhilde." The words spewed out before I could stop them, but it only amused the goddess. She laughed and the eerie peal of distant bells echoed.

  "Ah, my child. Whether you accept the truth now or later in life, it shall not change who and what you are." Her eyes narrowed. "Are the dreams not enough confirmation?"

  She saw the shock in my face and smiled, satisfied she was right.

  "Never mind that," she said. "What is important is what you can do to obtain your lover's freedom." She walked to me so smoothly, as if she floated just above the ground. "I believe you do not know this, but you have something that belongs to me."

  She towered over me again, and this time she reached for the pendant and grasped the amber orb, closing her eyes. Pure bliss radiated from her face. When she opened her eyes, both orbs glowed an amber that mirrored the pendant.

  "Brisingamen!" She sang the word, a sweet joy emanating from her voice.

  Although startled, recalling my earlier conversation with Sigrun, I kept my silence. I wanted to know more.

  "If it is true you cannot remember the first time you lived, Brynhildr, then I will have to tell you something." Her voice deepened, intensified. "A long, long time ago, I lost a precious treasure. Something so close to my heart that I withstood the terrible things spoken about me, just to keep it safe. It was Brisingamen. The Circle of Suns. Called this because of the amber gems set in gold. The most beautiful treasure in all the world."

  She began to pace as she told the story. "I chose the best Valkyrie I could find, the bravest, the most courageous. Brunhilde." Her eyes bored into mine. "I asked that she find Brisingamen for me," Freya continued, "and she took that vow, pledging to search the ends of the earth to find it. But she never came back. It was much later that we discovered she had been killed. Now do you not think it is a strange coincidence to find this pendant on your neck?"

  "This pendant?" I was flustered. The words came out shaky and confused.

  "This pendant you are wearing is the main jewel of the Brisingamen. Where did you find it? Who gave this to you?" I couldn't understand the pent up emotion I sensed within her words. Was it a furious rage that she held at bay?

  "It was sent to me by father's trustees," I said.

  "Trustees?"

  "My father died in an . . . accident when I was thirteen. The lawyers were instructed to send this to me when I turned sixteen, but I moved around a lot and I only received it just before I came to Asgard."

  "Where did your father . . . ah, I see. He no doubt found Brisingamen where he found Brunhilde's body. I have heard the tale of Brunhilde's remains being unearthed, and how that discovery resulted in you." She turned on her heel, triumphant in her deduction and seemingly more confident now. "That must mean he knew where to find my precious Brisingamen. And that means you will find it for me."

  I didn't follow the logic, but I said nothing.

  "So if you want your Aidan back, then find me the remaining jewels of Brisingamen, put them together, and bring it to me."

  I raised my hand to unhook the pendant from my neck. She said, "No, keep it. It will keep you safe while you search, and it will help you find the rest. The amber jewels talk to each other. Now go. And do not come back without it."

  I hesitated, then turned to leave the room. Under different circumstances, I'm sure I would have bowed and made vocal promises, but seeing as this mission wasn't my choice I didn't feel much like thankin
g her or bowing and scraping.

  My hand pressed against the door when she called out, "Oh, and Brynhildr?" I turned. "Don't forget to take your lover with you."

  I swallowed my gasp, but my expression of surprise was harder to contain. She'd just said I wouldn't get him back unless I got Brisingamen for her.

  "Aidan will accompany you on your journey," Freya said. "I believe you may need his knowledge to retrieve my special jewel. Of course, it is not as simple as just walking out of Asgard again, my dear. Aidan shall be cursed."

  She lifted her chin; her eyes, now molten gold, pierced mine, triumphant. "The moment he sets foot out of Asgard, he will begin to die. Each day away will take a little bit of life out of him, returning him to the corpse he was before he entered Odin's holy city. The longer you take to return, the further he will disintegrate. If you take more than a week to return Brisingamen, I will not be able to remove the curse."

  I was somewhere between thrilled and horrified. Aidan would be released from his tenure with Freya temporarily, but if we didn't find Brisingamen and return in time, I would have sentenced him to death. A thousand troubled thoughts whirled in my brain, and I closed my eyes. When I opened them, intending to ask Freya if I could talk to Aidan first, the goddess had vanished.

  I stood there in the silent hall, listening to the shadows laugh at my predicament.

  Aidan's life was now well and truly at stake.

  Chapter 31

  As I turned to leave, dejected, disappointed and deathly afraid, the flapping of wings caught my attention. One of Odin's ravens flew at me. My hand shot up instinctively to protect my face, in case the bird was bent on clawing my eyes out.

  It landed on my arm. Then, with another flutter, it jumped onto my shoulder. Craning my neck around, I stared the bird in the eye. If I shooed it away, would it decide it was now time to peck out my eyes? The raven tilted its head back and returned the stare.

  An impasse, it seemed. Perplexed I looked around. We were not alone. Odin, in the shape of the old, hooded man, sat within his great throne.

  Damn it. Do you guys have to keep appearing and vanishing all the time? Someone ought to tie little bells around your necks so we can hear you coming!

  I smothered my thoughts, crossing my fingers and hoping the gods didn't have mind-reading powers.

  Odin smiled and said, "He is my gift to you on your journey. He will be your guide and he will warn you of danger." Then Odin looked away, as if his thoughts were elsewhere. "His name is Hugin. Bring him back safely, Brynhildr."

  I nodded then gave a deep bow. When I rose, Odin waved me away and I left in silence, the raven still perched on my shoulder.

  ***

  I wasn't sure where to go then. Back to my room to dwell on my fears? To Valhalla to talk to Aidan? To find Sigrun or Fen? To the pet store, if Asgard had one, to buy whatever pet ravens ate?

  "Do you talk, like a parrot?" I asked the bird. The raven blinked but said nothing.

  I found myself walking along the path. Perched on my shoulder, Hugin drew stares, but I hardly noticed. Trusting my feet, I fell into thinking about Freya and her mission. How well she'd arranged the situation so I'd have everything to lose by taking the mission.

  The amber was warm, but of no comfort. The jewel had lost its power to give me strength and solace when I'd discovered it belonged to Freya. Just something about her made my skin crawl, and now, so did the jewel. I wanted to rip the thing from my neck but was deathly afraid that even the smallest thing I did wrong might endanger Aidan's life further.

  The raven shifted its weight, as if disturbed by my inner turmoil. His talons poked through the chainmail and touched my skin, but since they didn't hurt I didn't need to swat him away.

  Soon I found myself before Njall's door, heat lapping at my face. Pushing the door in, I searched the darkness for the smith. He appeared like a troll or an ogre, back lit by the blazing fire, a huge misshapen monstrosity.

  Then his face emerged from the darkness and he smiled that big welcoming smile I didn't even know I'd been looking for. His grin widened when he saw the raven on my shoulder. "Hugin!" he exclaimed. "Odin has honored you, Brynhildr. How may I be of service?"

  After I explained my mission, we spent an hour picking out small weapons that Aidan and I could easily conceal on our bodies when we returned home. And talking. Soon I forgot the purpose of my visit and just enjoyed the company and the warmth of the fire.

  ***

  This time my trip to Valhalla was totally legitimate. The doors even opened for me as I passed the golden tree. Inside, the hall was alive with people, so unlike the night Sigrun and I had snuck in. All the newly retrieved Warriors looked well, though Aidan was still relegated to the recuperation area.

  "Bryn! What are you doing here?" His eyes goggled at the sight of Hugin on my shoulder, and he wasn't the only one. Guess it wasn't every day that Hugin left his post at the All-Father's shoulder to take up residence on another's. Must mean I'm special. My presence drew attention, but nobody ran at us with swords to drive me away. I relaxed and so did Aidan.

  "I need to talk to you about Freya," I said.

  "Sure, come have a drink." We chose a seat at the end of a long table filled with boisterous men. With the surrounding racket, I was fairly certain we could speak privately. Well, almost privately. I glanced again at Hugin and wondered how much he understood.

  Aidan coughed, prompting me to say, "Freya made a deal."

  "A deal?" He reached for two goblets on a tray, brought by a young girl who bore an uncanny resemblance to Turi.

  I waited until she was out of earshot, then touched my pendant. "She said this jewel is from a necklace that belongs to her. It's called Brisingamen."

  Aidan nodded. "I've heard of it."

  "She also said I have to find it and return it to her."

  "Why would she want you to do that?"

  "Because it was the Valkyrie Brunhilde's task to find Brisingamen and return it to Freya all those years ago. And she thinks Brunhilde found the necklace. But she was killed before she could return it."

  Aidan bent forward and lifted the warm gem off my neck. Hugin ruffled his wings and I tensed for a moment, hoping he wouldn’t peck at Aidan's hand. Aidan frowned and said, "I've seen this before. Or something like it."

  "Where? Aidan, I really need to find this necklace. And I need your help to do it. If you know anything, please, tell me." I shivered. I really didn't want to tell him about Freya's curse on him. I ignored it for now. "I need to leave as soon as possible," I said. "I've got one week to find it and be back here or I'm so dead."

  Aidan stared at me. I could almost see his mind turning my words over, analyzing them before deciding what his next option was.

  "Will you come with me?" I whispered as another serving girl walked by, tray laden with food.

  He fidgeted, picking at a hangnail. Finally he said, "Sure. Probably need the change of scenery right now. I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing here."

  We hadn't had a proper chance to talk since he arrived. I wasn't sure if he'd had anyone clue him in on what a Warrior's roles and responsibilities were. I reached across the table for his hand. "What do you know so far? About why you are here?"

  "We had one of the Warriors come talk to us. Tell us all about the einherjar and the Valkyries. Valhalla." Aidan laughed. "None of this is supposed to be real, you know."

  I withdrew my hand. "Really? Is that why your decision to terminate was negative?" It was nasty to throw this in his face right now, when I needed his help so much, but hurt overruled a commonsense sales pitch.

  He flushed, taking a drink from his goblet to hide his reaction. "Guess you studied the book."

  "Yeah. It was certainly interesting reading," I said, my vocal chords strained. Then I thought of something. "Did you leave it behind on purpose?"

  He stared at me, eyes clear, and amidst the testosterone-induced din surrounding us, I felt the magnetic pull between us. Felt the attraction th
at had made me throw caution to the air and open my heart to a guy for the first time. It had only gotten me betrayal and heartache, but here it was again.

  He ignored my question and asked one of his own: "When do we leave?" Startled, I glanced at his face, checking if he was serious. Was he really choosing to come with me?

  He half-sighed, half-laughed at my reaction. "Don't look at me like that," he said. "What did you think? I'd leave you to go back and find the necklace without me? I have access to records, names of the people involved in the dig, lists of items retrieved. You name it, I can probably access it. You'd be lost without me."

  Suddenly it clicked. "Your father?"

  Aidan nodded, his face darkening, as if the mere mention of his father pulled a cloud over his emotions.

  "Okay," I said. "Let me check with Fen to see how we can arrange this. I'll get a message to you as soon as I know what the deal is."

  As I rose from the seat and turned to leave, Aidan grabbed my hand. I ignored the spike of heat that ripped up my arm and the shifting of Hugin's weight on my shoulder, and raised a questioning eyebrow.

  "Thank you," said Aidan.

  "What for?" I asked, puzzled.

  "For retrieving me. It seems right . . . that you were the one to bring me here."

  Guilt welled in my throat. Not only had I brought him here to serve the gods, disturbing his rest, but now I was lying to him. Convincing him to come with me to find the necklace without revealing one crucial fact.

  Aidan's life hung by the filigree thread of a goddess's trinket.

  Chapter 32

  The jump from Asgard to Craven only took a few seconds, though still accompanied by the usual nauseous twisting in my belly. We materialized in bright moonlight and kept to the shadows as we walked up Elm Wood. The last thing we needed was for Ms. Custer to switch the veranda lights on and for Anna's nosy mother to see us enter the house this late. Who knew what the gossip would be then?

  Aidan waited beside the bushes in front of the veranda in full view of the front door. The position was convenient. The veranda light would reach the shadow of the tree and only she would see us.