The Pregnant Bride Wore White

by Susan Crosby

  She tugged for release, and he let her go. “Maybe technically it was,” he said as she walked to the window, keeping her back to him. “But I wanted to sleep with you the day I met you at Escobar’s house. It would’ve happened at some point. And it would’ve happened more than once.”

  Jake saw her go rigid. With shock? Disbelief? Revulsion? No, not that, he didn’t think.

  “Is that the truth?” Her voice barely reached him.

  Disbelief. “The day before you called to say that you and Escobar were headed to the hospital, I had already been making plans to see you, rearranging plans I’d made to come home to Chance City, in fact, but detoured to Caracas instead. To see you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you turned me on like no one I’d met in a very long time. Maybe ever.”

  A few beats passed. “But I’d ticked you off.”

  “Yeah. Most people take what I have to say as the truth, based on my expertise. You argued the point that sometimes you would know better than me, based on your own expertise.”

  “As a nurse, caring for a patient. Not as a kidnapping expert.” She faced him. “You were so angry.”

  “Frustrated—because of your rebel attitude and because I wanted to haul you into the nearest bedroom and spend the next twenty-four hours there with you.”

  She swallowed. Color flooded her face. Her shoulders dropped some, her defenses relaxing.

  “I do apologize for not telling you about the article, Keri. And I will deflect anything negative aimed at you because of it. I think most people will assume we started a relationship before the kidnapping, which is close enough to the truth. They don’t need further information, as far as I’m concerned. Does that work for you?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Relief softened the muscles around her mouth.

  “At the risk of being told I’m ordering you around, I think you should lie down now.”

  She brushed her hair from her face with her hands. “I must look like a hag.”

  “Never.” He could see he’d really thrown her by admitting his attraction for her that first day. She hadn’t reacted in kind, so he guessed she hadn’t felt the same, which surprised him. He was usually a good judge of that sort of thing.

  She started to pass by him, but stopped. “Are you in danger because of the article? It didn’t mention Chance City, but I figure that’s because Donovan wrote it. Someone else may find out and publish it. Someone might want to avenge Marco.”

  “We’re thinking alike, but Donovan and I believe it’s a small risk.” Although enough that he was considering alarming his house as a preventive measure. “I’m more in danger of losing work because of visibility and recognition. And maybe more because of screwing things up, getting kidnapped myself. It could harm the business. The grapevine will pass it along, just as the grapevine is what gets me and my company business to begin with. Most clients have been satisfied with what I’ve done in the past, so I’m hoping it won’t make much difference. I may have to talk them down a little.”

  “Like you’ll have to with your family.”

  He nodded. “Please go sleep for a while, Keri.”

  “Okay.”

  She looked like she could use a hug. They’d barely touched since they came home from the hospital, just what contact came as a result of passing Isabella to each other. He would think about that and what he could do.

  But first he had to do a little damage control, make sure his—their family and friends didn’t think she’d been lying to them, even if she had. It mattered to her, so he needed to take care of it.

  He’d start with his mother.

  Keri climbed in bed later that night after feeding her daughter and handing her off to Jake. It might only be nine o’clock, but it was dark, and that was good enough for her. Isabella had actually waited two and a half hours between wanting to eat. Progress. Maybe they’d make it to those four-hours-apart feedings that everyone seemed to think were ideal. She sure could use it.

  Jake wasn’t getting any more sleep than she was, and he seemed to be doing fine. Of course, his body hadn’t been put through labor and delivery.

  She didn’t know if he was still having nightmares, since he was sleeping on the sofa these days. He spent his time taking care of her and the baby, not even letting his mother or sisters help out, which annoyed them, especially Aggie, who wanted to swoop in and take over. She’d been relegated to visitor status.

  Jake padded into the room with the baby and put her in the bassinette. Then he stripped down to his boxers and got into bed with her.

  “I’m going to start sleeping with you,” he said. “That couch is getting smaller every night.”

  Memories of the first time they’d met had been assaulting her all day, ever since he’d revealed he’d been attracted to her from the beginning. That had come as a total surprise. She remembered having strong feelings about him, too, but she’d identified them as extreme annoyance, not sexual attraction. Maybe they were both. Probably they were both.

  “I’m glad you’re here. You should be comfortable,” she said now, sliding over, making room. She tended to sprawl and take up the whole bed when it was just her. “Do you still have nightmares?”

  “Yeah. You?”

  They were both lying on their backs, talking toward the ceiling. “I don’t think I’ve even had a dream since Isabella was born.”

  “Maybe you could use a breast pump now and then. Let me feed her with a bottle so that you could get enough sleep to dream.”

  “That’s a good thought, thanks.”

  Silence settled between them, then without warning tears welled up and began to spill over. A sob escaped her.

  He rose up on an elbow. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nobody called,” she said, trying not to break down. “Or came over.”

  “When?”

  “Today.”

  “Dixie and Laura were here,” he said.

  “Since then. Since the magazine came out.” She looked up at him, barely visible in the dark. “Doesn’t that tell you a lot? They’ve all read the article and have come to their own conclusions. I have to rebuild all that trust that they gave me automatically at the beginning.”

  He gathered her close. She clung to him, grateful to be held, grateful to hold on. He ran his hand down her hair and back with long, soothing strokes.

  “Not everyone trusted you, if that helps,” he said. “You earned trust, and you will again—if it’s even an issue.”

  “Someone didn’t trust me?” she said, her voice notching up a level. “Who?”

  Jake laughed softly. He wasn’t about to tell her that Donovan had been suspicious from day one. Others may say the same thing now that the real story was out. “I knew there was something about that girl,” someone was bound to comment, wanting to be right.

  “Who?” she repeated. “Who didn’t trust me?”

  Isabella made a little sound—not the one she made when she was gearing up to cry, but something different.

  “Shh,” he whispered to Keri. “Let’s see if she’ll stay asleep.”

  Keri went silent—for a few seconds. “It was Donovan, wasn’t it? Oh, he kept that cool, calm surface he’s famous for, but I could tell he didn’t like me.”

  “He likes you fine.” He shifted her into a more comfortable position, one in which they could both fall asleep and not cause the other to cramp up. “Sleep.”

  Less than thirty seconds later she was asleep—which attested to her state of exhaustion, if it could beat out her worries about not being trusted. And he, the man who never cuddled, held her until he fell asleep himself, then was still holding her when Isabella demanded to eat later, waking them up. After changing her diaper, he handed her over to Keri, watching as their daughter latched on with fervor.

  “You could sleep, you know,” Keri said, brushing Isabella’s hair over and over with her fingers. “I’ll have to get up when she’s done anyway. You might as well take advantage of the break
.”

  “I’m fine.” He liked watching them. It soothed him as much as it seemed to soothe mother and daughter.

  She laid her hand against his face. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too.” At some point in the past week he’d given up his anger, something he’d needed at the beginning to sustain him through what had happened to him. He’d been blindsided with her pregnancy, but how could anyone justify being openly angry at a woman pregnant with his child? Impossible, at least to him.

  It crossed his mind that if he’d decided just one day earlier to go back to Caracas to see her, none of this would’ve happened. He would’ve taken charge of Escobar’s transport to the hospital. Escobar and Keri wouldn’t have been kidnapped. Therefore he wouldn’t have been kidnapped. He and Keri wouldn’t have had frantic sex in the cell.

  They would’ve had sex at some point—that wouldn’t change—but he would’ve had condoms. Everything would’ve turned out differently. If only…

  He slipped his finger into Isabella’s fist. She squeezed it rhythmically, in the same cadence as she nursed.

  “What are you thinking about?” Keri asked.

  “How beautiful she is.” He looked at Keri, then tucked her hair behind her ear so that he could see her face in the darkened room.

  “No regrets?” she asked.

  “I never have regrets. Things are what they are, as the cliché goes. And how could I regret this?” he said, bending to kiss his daughter’s head. She let go of his finger and flattened her hand on Keri’s breast, pushing and patting.

  “You must have some feelings about everything that’s happened.”

  “Must I?” He smiled at her. “How about you? Any regrets?”

  “More curiosity than regrets. What ifs.”

  Since he’d just been thinking pretty much the same thing, he said nothing. “I’m planning to see Mom in the morning, get things straight with her, then make the rounds to Nana Mae and Joe.”

  “I’d like to go, too.”

  “That’s fine. Before we go, we’ll talk about what we think they should know and what we want to keep to ourselves.”

  When Isabella was back in her bassinette, Jake closed his eyes, not wanting to talk, wanting Keri to sleep. He drifted…

  The nightmare struck full force, as it did most nights. He fought the images in his head. Then a calm voice reached him, rousing him slowly, drawing him out of that world and back into the dark, quiet reality of where he was, and who he was with.

  The soft, warm woman in bed with him wrapped him close. He buried his face against her shoulder, took comfort from her.

  “Sleep,” she whispered, putting her arms around him. “You’re safe.”

  It should bother him, her seeing him powerless like that, and maybe in the morning it would. But for now he accepted what she offered, finding the sleep he needed and the peace he craved.

  Chapter Twelve

  Aggie was seated in her front porch rocking chair when they pulled up the next morning. It was Isabella’s first outing. Aggie was so excited to have her visit that it was hard to gauge her reaction to Keri and Jake, whom she pretty much ignored. Keri thought it was most telling that Aggie didn’t hug either of them.

  Aggie exclaimed over the baby, lifting her out of the carrier and sitting in the rocker again. Isabella was awake, her face scrunched as she sought the source of the enthusiastic voice.

  “Aren’t you the most precious little girl in the world. How much you’ve grown in a couple of days,” Aggie cooed. “You look just like your daddy when he was a baby.”

  Keri exchanged a look with Jake. Everyone said Isabella looked just like her. Was she persona non grata now? No longer welcome?

  Her heart sinking, she sat with Jake on the porch swing. He held her hand. She saw Aggie spot the gesture, too, probably more noticeable because they hadn’t held hands in public, except during the wedding.

  “How are you feeling, Keri?” she asked, jarring Keri with its formality. Aggie usually called her “angel.”

  “Grumpy. Sleepy. Happy. Sometimes a strange combination of all three.”

  “Three dwarfs in one,” Jake said, smiling at her, encouragement and support in his eyes.

  “I was glad you talked to me about what to expect after the birth, Aggie. It’s helped a lot.”

  The awkwardness stretched into a long silence. Aggie rocked Isabella, whose eyes drifted shut. Aggie finally looked up from admiring her granddaughter and said, “So. I guess you didn’t think I could handle the truth. I’ve lived sixty-seven years, experienced plenty of heartache in my time and handled it without falling apart. Yet neither of you thought I should know what was going on. Can you imagine how it feels that you don’t trust me? It’s a sad, sad day for me.”

  Jake squeezed Keri’s hand when she started to speak. “Be specific, Mom. What’s bothering you the most?”

  “You, young man—” She stopped for a few seconds, her voice trembling. “I knew what you did carried a certain element of danger. It didn’t surprise me that you chose the work you do, because you were always the biggest risk taker in the family. There wasn’t a dare your siblings threw at you that you didn’t accept. But I didn’t know it was so terribly, terribly dangerous.” Fear gleamed in her eyes. “Jake. How could you do that? Go undercover like that?”

  “I do what I’m good at. And I like it. It feeds my need for excitement.”

  Keri didn’t sigh but she wanted to. It was what she feared most. He would never quit. He needed the adrenaline rush, the self-satisfaction, even the independence. She didn’t stand a chance against all that.

  “But you’re married now,” Aggie said. “You have a child.”

  “It’s my job, Mom. So, what else bothers you?”

  She shifted her gaze to Keri. “If you’d told me the truth, I could’ve helped you. Mama said you had nightmares, that she heard you in the night. Talking about it would’ve helped.”

  “She was protecting me,” Jake said, again squeezing her hand.

  “From what?”

  “I didn’t know what, Aggie,” Keri said. “I just knew I had to keep his secrets until he came home.”

  “How long would you have done that?” Aggie lifted Isabella to her shoulder and rubbed her back as she stirred.

  “I don’t know. As long as I thought it was necessary. I probably would’ve talked to Donovan about it, let him help me make a decision.”

  Aggie’s mouth set hard. “Donny’s been in the line of fire more times than I can count. For what? A story? Some prizewinning photos? His kind of thrills. And Jake’s is more dangerous than his! How did your father and I raise two such daredevils? And how do I get you to stop?”

  “You can’t,” Keri answered before Jake did. “You have to let them do what makes them happy.” She felt his gaze on her, then he lifted her hand and kissed it. She would have decisions to make herself about what made her happy. Until then she would enjoy the time with him, not fight with him. He was doing the best he could.

  She’d done the same thing for her parents, who needed to do what they did. It was why she was at peace with them, when she could’ve easily felt ignored instead of loved. They did love her, wholeheartedly. They just didn’t show it in the ways that some parents did—like Aggie. And maybe it had made Keri a lot more independent than she might have been otherwise, which wasn’t a bad thing at all.

  “My mom called this morning,” she said to Aggie, changing the subject completely, grateful that things seemed to be okay between them two of them. “They’ll be here in three weeks.”

  “Tell them I want them to stay with me. I’ve got this big ol’ house with plenty of room.”

  The invitation didn’t surprise Keri. Aggie was one of the most generous people she’d ever met. “That’s very thoughtful of you.”

  “Curiosity, plain and simple.” She grinned. “We’ll be linked for the rest of our lives. I have a need to know them.”

  “I’m grateful, too,” Jake sa
id. “Thanks, Mom. Really big thanks.”

  Keri laughed. She could only imagine Jake being stuck under the same roof with her parents. They did take a little getting used to.

  “Is this a private party or can anyone crash it?” Donovan asked, coming up the porch steps.

  “Were your ears burning?” Aggie asked.

  “Talking about me, huh? Will you still make me cherry pies, Mom?” He kissed her cheek, then crouched to look at Isabella, who’d woken up but wasn’t crying, which was rare. “She looks just like you, Keri.”

  Keri and Jake laughed.

  “Inside joke, I guess,” he said, standing.

  “Want to hold her?” Jake offered.

  “Maybe later. Like in a couple of years.”

  “It’s easier than you think,” Jake said, taking Isabella from his mother and planting her in Donovan’s arms before he could escape. Isabella puckered up and cried.

  “See? It’s not that I don’t like babies. They don’t like me.” He shoved her toward Jake then brushed off his hands. “Any coffee made, Mom?”

  “There’s a full carafe on the counter.”

  “Can I get anyone else some?” Donovan held the screen door open, waiting for an answer.

  “No, thanks,” Keri said. “But I’m going to nurse Isabella, so if that makes you squeamish…”

  “I figure you’re the kind to do a good job of covering up during the process, so I’m good with it.” He headed inside.

  Keri raised her voice. “That’s true, Donovan. But wait’ll you hear her smack her gums while she eats. She’s a noisy little piglet.”

  “Hey, Jake,” came the quick response. “Mom told me she needed the hose on the washing machine replaced. That’s sounds like a two-man job to me.”

  “Chicken,” Jake called back, but he got up and went inside to help his brother avoid the whole nursing-the-baby process.

  “And not ashamed of it,” Donovan shouted.

  Keri loved having brothers-in-law. And sisters-in-law. And all those other friends and relatives she’d inherited when she got pregnant with Jake McCoy’s daughter. The continuity of community was one she’d seen everywhere she’d lived, but she’d never stayed long enough for it to happen to her, except in college, where she had made friends she still stayed in touch with.