War Machine: Book One in the Destiny In the Shadows Series

by Maggie Lynn Heron-Heidel

  “Cool,” Michael murmured reverently. “Your fan fiction website never showed that.”

  “My what?” I said a little too loudly. Lily stirred for a second and then went back to snoring.

  “You have a following on the web,” he said. “They write fan fiction about you.”

  I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Cain looked confused, too. But this must have been what Michael wanted considering he took off into a long, animated spiel about the whole thing. “People like to fictionalize your life. You know, blogs and comics and stuff. They make up stories about you. One of the most recent and most popular ones is about-”

  “I don’t believe this,” Cain scoffed, picking up the maps he had previously dropped. “It’s utterly ridiculous.”

  “You two actually,” Michael barreled on, completely enthralled.

  Cain dropped his maps again. “What?!”

  Michael pulled out a small pad and opened it. Inside was printout of a drawing. Cain had me in his arms, carrying me as I lay unconscious. It had very sexual connotations to it. I was as voluptuous and naked as one can get as he looked down at me with a longing expression.

  “Someone got ahold of the news story when you carried her out of the hotel and shared it. They like the idea of you two getting together. I printed this comic out so I could copy it and do my own.”

  He pulled out a few more drawings. I couldn't believe the utter ludicrousness of them all. Since when had I ever looked like these? The woman in them was pure fantasy. Every man’s fantasy, that is.

  “People have far too much time on their hands,” I murmured, looking through them.

  “Hey, wait,” Cain said. “Your name is on the bottom of this one, Michael!”

  Cain held up a particularly provocative drawing. The man in this one didn't have a face yet. Michael turned vivid pink. “Yes. I’m a - um…”

  “Did you draw this?” I asked snatching the offending sketch away from Cain. It was of me passionately kissing the faceless man. My dress had fallen off my shoulders and I was catty-cornered so my bare back faced the viewer of the photo.

  “So that’s what you were sketching today,” Cain said, pointing at the date at the bottom of the page. ”It’s a good likeness of her, I’ll admit, but you have a mighty high opinion of yourself. No one has to wonder very far who she’s supposed to be necking with-”

  “You’ve got be kidding,” I said. “That can't be me. I don’t look anything like that!”

  Both sets of male eyes were appraising. Michael looked embarrassed. Cain shook his head at me. I felt myself turning pink, too, though no one would see it on my skin. Clearly they thought otherwise.

  “Did you draw all of these?” I asked, changing the subject and sifting through them. There was one cartoon version of me dangling a scorpion over an even fatter-looking version of his father. Another was of me holding the baby, sitting on the ATV, lovingly clutching it to my chest. Then yet another portrayed me sharpening my blades and glaring out at the horizon. I realized he must have been watching me from the tents long before I had seen him.

  “Yes,” he admitted, turning an even more pronounced fuchsia. “I sell some, but I keep a few to myself.”

  “Three guesses which ones,” Cain snorted.

  I came to the bottom of the notepad. The latest entry from today grabbed me by the heart strings. It was a portrait with a sunset behind me. It was a true portrayal, one that said more than I could ever say about myself. My wide, lash-framed eyes were sad and a small, rueful smile twisted my lips. My hand was in my hair and the scars curved around my wrists and up my arms.

  This was all too much, and maybe not in a good way. I swallowed hard and went back to listening as Michael serenaded Cain with all of the details of my supposed fan club. “I’ve been doing comics based on her for a while. Outrunning the cops and the exciting lifestyle she leads-”

  “Yes,” I said softly. “War is such an exciting business. You must tell me all about this fictional character and how she really lives.”

  “Well, she has a secret penthouse apartment-”

  I think Cain choked on his own spit as he started to laugh. I didn't find it funny at all. There was this cooked up antihero character glamorizing the things I did. I was now a fixture in pop culture. Killing people had become a cool thing to do. I had accomplished the very thing I had wished to crush: the glorification of violence.

  I wordlessly handed back the drawings to him. I felt like I wanted to cry and refused to do that in front of them. Cain had already seen too much of me already. Michael didn’t need to catch the show as well.

  “Have I upset you?” he asked worriedly.

  I gathered Lily in my arms and placed her on the cot. She curled into a ball, murmuring incoherently in her sleep. I turned to Michael with what I hoped was a convincing smile. “No. It’s always good to hear oneself being appreciated. I’ll see you both later.”

  The moon shone down on me as I ducked out of the tent and into the night before either could respond. I sprinted to the top of the nearest dune before collapsing into a heap. I thought I might be having a heart attack. The constricting pressure around my ribs was horrifying. I had had panic attacks before, but this was the mother of all of them.

  I flopped back on the sand and tried to breathe. How was it everything I did tended to wind up backwards? Or was it society that kept on screwing with my work and making it a mockery?

  I was falling apart again. Human company had that effect on me and I hated it. People were so absolutely unpredictable and had the awful tendency to set these kinds of episodes off. I needed some time to myself. Solitude did me better in the head.

  So leave it to Argon to come and find me. I guessed he must have been on watch and spotted me as I ran away. “You eaten anything? What are you doing out here?”

  I opened my eyes and surfaced out of my despair. “I’m not interested in eating.”

  He plunked down beside me. I raised an eyebrow and turned to look at him curiously. He held up a piece of jerky and waved it at me. “You’re wondering why I’m being nice to you again. I know better than to piss off the hand that’s guiding us through the desert.”

  “No, thank you,” I said, picking up my canteen. “You enjoy.”

  “Nah. Cain had his mouth on it already.” He laughed at my dubious expression. “I’m joking, though I’m sure he wouldn't mind saying his spit came in contact with yours somehow. Most men wouldn't actually.”

  I shook my head. “You’re a most interesting man, Argon. I’ll give you that.”

  “I didn’t hear the word sexy in there. Dang. And here I was so expectantly waiting.”

  “Are you inebriated?”

  He guffawed. “No. I just consider the world to be one big crap bag. I might be blown to bits at any moment. Might as well amuse myself in the meantime. It’s a strategy you should consider giving a try. You look so solemn all the time. The only time you look invested in the present is when you’re kicking colonel windbag up his hiney. Then you look like you’re alive. What would it take to get you to ridicule me like that without the insults?”

  I opened my mouth and then shut it. The last statement confused me. “Um. What?”

  “You give him attention,” Argon whined. “You put up with me. You get a bang out of him.”

  I thought about it for a second. “Is it curiosity that drives you or a resemblance of the past?”

  He jumped a little and then stared down at his lap looking sad. “Oh, so Cain told you about Sandy. Figures. That boy never did learn to keep his mouth shut.”

  I sat guiltily as he stuffed another wad of jerky in his mouth, shaking his head. I could tell I had hit a nerve. A few more moments passed between us before I spoke again.

  “Argon, why did Cain bring me out here? He said you all needed a guide, but he resents any guidance I offer. I don’t get it. ”

  He thought about it for a second. “Rogee was insistent that we bring you. I don’t really kno
w why. I guess Cain just took Rogee’s word that you would be needed and ran with it.”

  So Rogee had been the one to suggest I be dragged along in the first place? Why would he do that? It made no sense with his normal policies of not negotiating with prisoners.

  “We’re no closer to finding the nuke, though,” I said gently. “It feels to me like we’re just wandering aimlessly in the desert hoping we’ll stumble upon the terrorists.”

  He shrugged. “Feels that way to me, too. But we have nothing else to try. Sometimes I just laugh to myself. The Army has come so far technology wise, but we still can’t track a missing nuke? I mean, we’ve got cyborgs-”

  “Pardon?” I stuttered.

  He winked. “An urban legend amongst us army folks. Just a rumor. I think.”

  A rumor I didn’t like very much. I jumped as I felt a small presence come to my side and sit. Lily peered up at me curiously.

  “Did I scare you?” she squeaked.

  “No,” I said bracingly. “Where’s your brother? You shouldn’t be wandering out and about by yourself. Shouldn't you be asleep?”

  “Max isn’t my brother,” she said sleepily. “And I can't sleep. The soldiers shot the lions when they came earlier. Are they going to shoot me, too?”

  “Naw,” Argon said loudly, making her jump. I don't think she had realized he was lying there in the darkness with me. “We don’t shoot little girls.”

  “What about big girls?” she asked worriedly.

  He laughed heartily again. “Cain’s still alive, so I certainly don't think so!”

  I felt my lips twitch at that one. He yawned and stretched abruptly. “Well, I’ve got to go keep watch. ‘Night ladies. Stay sweet for me.”

  He was out of sight fast. The little one watched him go with droopy eyes. I smoothed her hair back. “You should sleep. You’ve had a big day.”

  “Can’t I stay with you?” she asked and then yawned.

  I nodded slowly. That was good enough for her, it seemed. She curled up against my thigh immediately and yawned again. A minute later she was snoring. I was envious of her. I wished I could drop into sleep as easily as she had. But I could feel her shivering in her dreams. I picked her up and carried her back to the tent. I tucked my cloak in around her and turned to go.

  Cain was dozing with his hat pulled over his face. Michael had fallen asleep over yet another drawing of me. This one was equally haunting. I had angel wings and pools of blood lay at my feet. But what struck me was the pose he had portrayed me in. I was on my knees, clearly grieving, head bowed over my hands which were covered in blood.

  I tugged the drawing free of his fingers and looked at it closer. The detail was amazing considering what he was working with. An old, frayed pencil was still clenched in his fingers. He had much talent.

  Curiosity drove me to pick up the ratty notebook he had showed us earlier. I flipped through it, gorgeous landscapes jumping out at me. Many drawings were quite humorous. Political cartoons filled a great multitude of pages. They revealed quite the keen eye for politics. But toward the back of the book more portrayals of me were sketched.

  At first, they were of a shadowy figure with double blades. Then they grew more and more detailed. The last twenty or so were of what Michael obviously considered to be my face. There were a few of me from the other night, one out on the balcony with the moon behind me, and another as I waved at the limo as it drove away. One was of me on my back in a pinup pose. A later one still had me on my back, this time with the same faceless man leaning over me. I rolled my eyes. Judging by the way my back was arched, and where his hands were, it was another fantasy.

  Michael had a crush on me. That was a sobering thought. The poor fellow. I wasn't capable of reciprocating such a thing, so he was in for a rude surprise. I didn’t have time to think about it, however. A moment later, a small shadow fell over us. Max appeared in the doorway.

  “Oh, she’s back here,” he said, exhaling what I imagined to be a long held breath. “She was gone when I woke up. I didn’t know where she went!”

  “She came to me a few minutes ago while I was outside. Calm down. You can stay here with us.”

  He sank down with dark circles under his eyes as I patted the cot. “Thank you. I’ve been watching over her ever since our parents were… well, we’ve been together for a while.”

  I watched him thoughtfully. I wondered just how far his loyalty went. He seemed to be in far worse shape than the girl. He had welts everywhere and past scars; whereas the girl had barely any. He looked like he was skin and bones under his clothes while she had a little bit of flesh. And judging by the way he was sheltering her now, I wondered if he had been taking all of her punishments and giving her most of his food. Right now he was tucking the cloak in around her sleeping form. I saw more purple bruises peeking out from under his sleeves.

  I shook my head. What I would have done for a friend like that years ago. I might not be as completely screwed up now. My apprentice friend Dantenn had been more than eager to kindle a relationship when I had arrived, but by then I was too traumatized. Now I realized with regret, I hadn’t been very nice toward him. Then again, it was probably to his benefit. Not everyone could handle a mess like me.

  “You should rest,” I suggested gently, tugging the cloak away from him and tucking it around him so he could sink down into the soft cot with her. “I’ll keep watch.”

  “But who will watch you?” he asked with wide eyes.

  “I watch me,” I said with a wink. “Sleep and I’ll watch over your friend.”

  “I’m not her friend,” he said with a yawn. “I love her, Miss Sierrenna.”

  The way he declared it out loud with such conviction made me sad. Love didn't last, that much I knew, but it was sweet that he felt that way. “I’m sure you do. But you should really get some rest. I’m taking you to the edge of the Moor En Mountains tomorrow. I have friends there who will take wonderful care of you two.”

  “Can’t we stay with you?” he whined.

  “There’s too much danger where I’m going,” I said gently. “They’ll keep you safe just like they did me when I escaped my master’s clutches. They’re good people, unlike me. They’ll keep Lily good and safe.”

  “But you saved us. How can you be bad?” he protested.

  I chuckled. This boy was such an innocent soul. “The world is a complicated place, Max. There are a lot more kids like you out there that I have to set free. That’s why you and Lily are going to MoiRai.”

  “You were trained by them?” he asked. I nodded. “When I’m all grown up, can I come and hunt the bad guys, too?!”

  The eager face he had made me want cry even more than my action hero status had. He had no idea what he was asking for. “Sure, kid. But let’s hope I’ve wasted them all up by then.”

  He nodded solemnly, seeming to weigh his words. “Thank you for freeing us.”

  “Don’t mention it. I mean it, kid. My reputation will take a nosedive if word gets out.”

  He started to protest but then seemed to think better of it. He sank down and curled around Lily who whimpered in her sleep. He took her hand and held her, falling asleep that way. I shook my head. This was a damn good kid. Loyalty like this was hard to find without monetary incentive. He would do Dantenn proud.

  I sighed, rose from the cot, and looked out over the inky blue sand from the entrance to the tent. All was quiet. Fortunately, my hands were bloodless in this liberation so I couldn't torture myself with guilt. I didn't want to do this anymore, nor had I ever, but I couldn’t stop. If I did, there would be no one else between kids like these and the slavers.

  Burying my head in my hands, I tried to hold back the tears that came almost every day. I had held them off earlier. I didn’t succeed this time.

  I was crying so hard that I almost didn't hear the soft footfalls from inside the tent. Drying my tears hastily on my sleeve, I looked up as a handkerchief dropped onto my lap. Cain was staring out into the desert. “G
ood people, bad people. Where does that leave people like me? You need to start seeing the world in shades of grey, Rain. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself.”

  I closed my eyes, hating the familiar way my name came out of his mouth. “What do you want? We went over the maps already.”

  “You seemed bothered by the drawings. I’m curious…”

  “In a word, yes,” I said glumly. “I set out to stop all this nonsense; to spread the fear to the people who were causing the bloodshed and perhaps prod society into changing its ways. Now I find out people have only turned my actions into mere entertainment. That’s not what I wanted at all.”

  He shuffled his shoes, still staring at the dunes. I looked up at him curiously. “Is that all, General?”

  He grunted. “Cain. It’s Cain. I figure if I’m going to call you by your name, I’d better have you call me by my proper handle.”

  “Your handle is ‘with care,’” I said humorlessly. “The same label they put on explosives or glass bottles. Either or is fragile if you look at it a certain way.”

  He ignored my jab. “I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve treated you.”

  That got my attention. “Whatever. If this is some attempt to manipulate me-”

  “Wow. Just how paranoid are you?” he snorted. I shot him a scathing look and he rolled his eyes. I shook my head angrily and tried to stand, but he grabbed my elbow.

  “I’ve decided that we’re going to be friends,” he announced to my extreme surprise, looking like he was trying very hard to keep his temper. “I figure that if I don’t try to make ‘nice nice’ with you, you're going to continue to be a recalcitrant bitch and I may as well hand over my ass so you can mount it on your wall. Either we make peace or one of us goes down. But that would mean my city goes down, too, and I refuse to allow that. I figure we unite to bring our particular skill sets together. You’re more streetwise; I’m more battlefield savvy. We’re going to meet in the middle.”