Forbidden Desire

by Tina Donahue

  Aimee covered her mouth to quiet her weeping.

  Netta’s gaze turned inward, terror in her eyes. “Capitaine pushed me on the mattress and undid his breeches. One of his men hit Aimee to stop her screams. I fought to get to her. Capitaine held me down. I bit him wherever I could and even tore off his earlobe. He slapped me until I was too dazed to fight. His breath stank of spirits. The same that Tristan gives the men at celebrations.

  “Capitaine said I would pay for what I did to him. He pulled me to the table and sliced off my little finger to my wrist.” She looked at her wound. “No matter how hard I try to recall the pain, it never returns. Blood spilled over the wood and settled into cracks. That I remember and Aimee screaming for them to take her, to hurt her, not me. He cut off my second finger as deeply as he had the first.”

  Netta breathed hard. “He took my middle finger as he had the others and said he should let me bleed to death but wanted me to live disfigured. The other islanders would know what would happen to them if they dared defy him. His men held me down. One pressed a torch to my hand. The fire sizzled. That was the last thing I heard. When I woke, a pirate was on top of me. Another on Aimee. She was too quiet, not screaming or crying any longer. The pain in my hand was worse than the hurt between my legs. The pirates kept us longer than they did the other girls. They made me watch them taking Aimee with whatever they could find, hurting her worse than me. Capitaine said it was my fault for trying to save her.”

  Tears stung Heath’s eyes.

  Netta kissed Aimee’s cheek. “In time, I carried a babe the same as the other girls. Aimee never did. After what the pirates did to her…” She shook her head.

  Heath cradled their faces. “What happened to your child, Netta?”

  “I ate plants Simone said would keep me from birthing. The infant left me. It would have died anyway. The pirates took the newly born babes and left them in the forest. The men hated their brown skin. Those children suffered more than mine did. Now you know why Aimee will never have a child. But you can still love and protect her.”

  He gathered them to him, holding both equally, kissing their cheeks, tasting their tears. “I’m so sorry for what happened.”

  Netta stiffened. “We want nothing of your pity.”

  “You’re not getting it. I have only respect for you.” He brought her maimed hand to his mouth.

  She twisted her arm.

  “Please don’t fight me. I mean you no harm. I want to honor you.” He kissed the ragged scar and protruding bones.

  She wept.

  He held her and Aimee as hard as he dared and didn’t want to let go. He’d crossed a threshold with them and couldn’t turn back or run ahead into the future. It remained as murky as the past. They only had the present.

  Once they quieted, he dried their tears with Aimee’s cloth and gave them the cup. “Drink. Then I want both of you to eat. Your stomachs are growling.”

  Netta finished her sip. “Yours is doing that. Not ours.”

  “Then we can share the food, if you’ll allow it. Please say you will.”

  Aimee smiled. New tears spilled from her eyes. Netta’s too.

  Heath hoped they were happy ones.

  Aimee scooted to the mattress edge. “Netta and I can serve you.”

  “No. I won’t hear it. Stay where you are. I’ll fill a plate that you can share on the bed.”

  Netta grabbed his wrist. “Will you sit at the table so far from us?”

  “I’ll be at your feet. My proper place with such lovely sisters. You put every other woman to shame.”

  Her laughter tinkled, the sound lovelier than songbirds. “Never let Tristan hear you say that. He believes Diana’s beauty is greater than the goddess’s.”

  “He’s an Englishman. Ignore him.”

  “But not you?”

  “I’ve seen heaven in your faces and eyes. No man has ever been as lucky as I am to know you. Now heed my words and stay where you are. Let me serve you as I should.”

  He heaped beef, bread, eggs, grapes, two bananas, and honey on his lone plate and delivered it to Netta. Aimee’s protector. He suspected Netta was first born. Whether hours or minutes separated them, she was in charge. He handed Aimee his only fork and knife. “Go on. Enjoy. I’ll be back with my food in a moment.”

  He used the sack they’d brought and settled the silk on his crossed legs.

  Aimee peeled an egg and gave it to Netta.

  She took a small bite. “Will you stay on the isle now?”

  Beef stuck in his throat. Heath forced it down. He shouldn’t stay, couldn’t if Tristan granted him freedom. Netta and Aimee’s frightening history hadn’t changed their odd arrangement with him or what would happen if Netta conceived. He doubted Aimee would ever be jealous, but she’d hurt deeply if she couldn’t have a child. As to what the islanders would think of him with two women, he didn’t want to guess.

  Aimee fingered the grapes. “You have a woman in your England? Sons? Maybe daughters? You want to return because you miss them?”

  “No. Not at all.”

  Netta nibbled her beef. “You left them because they failed to please you?”

  “No. I’ve never wed nor do I have children. If I did have a wife or little ones, I’d never leave them. Wouldn’t be right.”

  Aimee lowered her face but couldn’t hide her smile from him.

  Netta ate the meat, her demeanor far more circumspect. “Do you miss your mother and father? Brothers? Sisters? Is that why you want to go back?”

  “I have no one in England. Not even a grandparent, aunt, or uncle.”

  “How can that be?”

  “I was a foundling. That’s a child with no one.”

  “How is that possible?” Aimee exchanged a glance with Netta who looked equally confused. “Everyone has a mother and father or they would never be born.”

  After the terror they’d been through, they’d managed to maintain their innocence. That endeared them to him even more. They faced life without guile or resentment. Pity everyone couldn’t do the same. “I never found out who my father was. Most likely, he left my mother before she birthed me. The beadle at the workhouse where I grew up told me she was too poor to feed a babe so she left me to them for care.”

  Netta chewed her bread. “What is this beadle?”

  “An officer who runs things, much like Tristan does here.”

  Aimee brightened. “The beadle raised you as his son?”

  “I’m afraid not. There were dozens of boys like me who didn’t have families.”

  Understanding flashed in Netta’s eyes. “The pirates killed their parents as they did ours.”

  “No. Some lost their mothers to childbirth, their fathers to illness, war, or endless work that eventually killed them. Since so-called civilized people can’t allow a child to starve to death in the street, and still call themselves good Christians, they housed unwanted boys and girls in the workhouse. Before you ask what that is, it’s exactly as it sounds, a place where people work. Once a child reaches four or five, they have to do as many tasks as they can to earn food and a place to sleep.”

  Aimee made a face. “When do they play?”

  “Some never go outside or run like the children here. Boys as young as six become chimney sweeps. In England, homes have hearths where fires burn to keep the rooms warm during cold weather. Soot clogs the areas above the flames, like ashes left after a fire. Little boys and sometimes girls have to climb into those narrow spaces to clean them for hours on end. Many get hurt.”

  Netta touched his wrist. “Did you do that? Did it hurt you?”

  “No. I worked with the animals and carried things. I grew too fast to toil in a chimney. The master sweep would have wasted his money buying me from the workhouse since he wouldn’t be able to use me for long. When I learned the beadle had indentured me to th
e Colonies, I ran away and lived on the street with other orphaned children.”

  Aimee stroked his cheek. “How old were you?”

  “Eight. I won’t lie, it wasn’t pleasant. There was little to eat, nowhere to sleep, but it was better than being a slave in another country with no escape. The other boys and I did tasks for the gentlemen and ladies and earned enough to stay alive. When I was eleven, I went to sea. The work was hard but at least there was sufficient food.”

  “Beatings too.” Aimee fingered a scar on his biceps.

  Every hurtful thing done to him faded with her tenderness. “I only had one cruel captain. As boys go, I was lucky. I learned French from the quartermaster who took a shine to me. I’d hoped one day to become a captain.”

  Netta sucked her lip.

  Aimee pressed close to her. “You want to leave so you can command a ship as Tristan did?”

  “One needs connections and power to do that. I have none.” Being in charge had been a boyish dream. However, this isle wasn’t any better if there wasn’t a way for him to be with them and not upset everyone. “What you, Netta, and I want and have found in each other isn’t easily understood or accepted by the rest.”

  Netta shrugged. “Why should they worry about what Aimee and I do?”

  “They’re your people and care greatly for both of you.”

  “As we do with them, but we must still live our lives.”

  “I understand that, but I promised my loyalty to Tristan in order to stay here.” He stroked her bottom lip. “We can’t carry on like Simone and Royce, James and Gavra, or even Peter and Laure. Especially them.”

  “We can once we wed and you slip the marriage collar around our throats. That will tell everyone we belong to you and you to us.”

  Aimee nodded.

  Such a simple and ludicrous solution. Heath wasn’t certain whether to smile or sigh. “I doubt the priest would agree with what we want to do. It’s unlikely any holy man would.”

  “Then Simone can say the words over us.” Netta kissed his fingertips. “As our people’s healer, she has great power.”

  There was no arguing with her or Aimee. “We must take care that no one knows of our feelings for each other. Not even your women friends.”

  “What of our love?” Aimee clasped his other hand. “You taking us as a man should with a woman. Do you intend to deny us your touch?” She kissed his palm.

  Netta his wrist.

  Their breath tickled and warmed. Their scents aroused. His best answer would be to refuse any carnal thought, touch, or deed. “I don’t know.”

  Netta’s eyes sparkled. “There are ways a man can enjoy a woman without creating an infant. Aimee and I can show you.”

  * * * *

  With the midday meal over, Tristan herded James and Royce into the library, far from the females. Gavra, Laure, and others worked in the kitchen. Diana was in her and his bedchamber with Merry.

  Unfortunately, the women never stayed put. They roamed at will and heard too much.

  The library door flung open. Peter hurried inside without being threatened.

  Tristan doubted the boy had developed a love for books as strong as his attraction to Laure. “Leave. Now.” Tristan cleared volumes from a chair and sank into it. “Take a ride. Come back in an hour or so.”

  “Why can’t I stay?”

  “To do your lessons?”

  Peter’s challenging look turned sour. “To offer my opinion on what you’re discussing.”

  “The swamp. We’re deciding who does what to clear it for arable soil. You can be at the top of our list. How does hauling water and shoveling muck sound?”

  “Should I close the door on my way out?”

  “It’s well advised. You should also keep going. Eavesdrop at your peril. And don’t slam the door.”

  He sighed loudly but closed it with care.

  James yawned. “If Peter still served on a ship, the captain would have shot him by now for his cocky attitude.”

  “Diana wants that honor and has it. I’m a helpless bystander in family matters.”

  “I face the same.” James crossed his freckled arms over the table and rested his head on them. “Gavra rails at Laure whenever she wants. If I dare look at the girl with anything but pure sweetness, I never hear the end of it.”

  “Did Gavra bend your ear last night?”

  “Willy screamed and cried without pause. I scarcely got an hour’s rest.”

  Tristan would have killed for that much. Merry seemed determined to do him in with her endless wails. He gestured to Royce. “What about you with Simone?”

  “The closer our child comes, the quieter she is. However, I don’t dare challenge her on even the simplest matter. She may look gentle, but I could end up dead.”

  They laughed.

  Tristan stretched out his legs. “It’s good to have a family.”

  “I’m not complaining.” James rubbed his eyes. “Did you call us in here to gossip about domestic matters as women do?”

  “Hardly. Heath came to me. He wants to leave the island. Even offered to get down on his knees and beg to get my consent.”

  Royce arched one eyebrow. “It seems he gave you the full treatment. With me, he demanded his release.”

  James lifted his face. “You don’t rule here. Tristan does. Makes perfect sense he’d cower to him.”

  “I’m hardly king.” Tristan folded his arms behind his head. “I merely keep matters from escalating. Everyone here has the same rights. None better than any other.”

  “Mind your words.” James rapped the table. “That means Heath can do whatever he wants.”

  “He and the other prisoners aren’t full citizens until we can trust them. So his privileges aren’t the same as ours, all right?” Tristan spoke to Royce. “When did he come to you? Why haven’t I heard this until now?”

  “He approached me the day Diana birthed Merry. You wouldn’t have noticed a gun in your face much less anything I had to say. Since then, I forgot the matter.”

  “Recall it now and tell me why he wants to leave.”

  “He said if I found him distasteful and untrustworthy, I should allow him to go with the other islanders when they come to trade or leave with us when we go there.”

  Odd. Heath didn’t strike Tristan as a man who cared what Royce or anyone else thought of him. “He spouted that without provocation or did you say something to bring on his rant?”

  Royce rested one arm on the table, fist clenched. “I came upon him in the forest near the point. Rather than watching our shores with his spyglass as he claimed, he had the blasted thing trained on Netta and Aimee.”

  Tristan hadn’t expected that. “Which one specifically?”

  “Both in equal amounts.”

  “I’m not surprised.” James wiggled his eyebrows. “At the celebration that night, they flirted with him. Netta was reluctant at first, until Aimee practically shoved her in Heath’s lap. After that, they got cozy. When he left the table to get more brandy, they followed.”

  Tristan brought down his arms. “He told me he was tired of being celibate and would die unless he could be a man again. Did he take both in the storage room?”

  “If he did, he couldn’t have pleasured them much. After a short absence, he returned with a bottle and a deep scowl worse than any we saw on our captain’s face before I shot him. As to Aimee and Netta, they never came back to the table.”

  This was worse than Tristan had imagined. “The man’s mad if he thinks he can have two women at once.”

  “Like you and I have done in the past?”

  Royce laughed. “You’ve engaged in a ménage, Tristan?”

  “Well before I met Diana and only with doxies. One hardly meets virtuous women in ports and foreign lands.”

  “Except for Diana when sh
e captured you.” James spoke to Royce. “What a surprise she turned out to be. Beautiful, courageous, and pure. Sadly, the other women Tristan and I came upon were less demur. One night, two doxies wrestled quite shamelessly and pulled each other’s hair out over Tristan.”

  His face burned. “Each wanted the gold I could give them.”

  “They loved your manly form. I heard them shrieking that at each other.”

  Royce howled. His face reddened from laughter.

  Tristan kicked his foot. “As a noble—”

  “Former noble. I’m content to let my mother and sisters keep up family appearances. Trust me. Peers are no different from pirates. They simply talk a better game. If you mean to ask if I’ve had a liaison with two women at once my answer is yes. That and far more.”

  “Is that so?” Though intrigued, Tristan had other pressing matters. “We’ll have to hear about your misadventures another time. I called you both in here to determine what to do with Heath. Do we let him go?”

  “No.”

  Royce and James answered at the same time.

  “Your reasoning?”

  James propped his head in his hand. “Admittedly, he’s a good man. Has endless patience with the children and does whatever Gavra demands without pause. However, if he fell into the wrong crowd, he knows too much about this isle to keep everything secret. Especially if he faced a blade or pistol.”

  Royce spoke to Tristan. “We can’t risk it.”

  He agreed. “That means he stays. What do we do about him and women? As far as I’m concerned, he can be with anyone he wants unless it starts a commotion.”

  “I feel the same.” James pushed back in his chair. “It’s really up to the islanders whether they accept this or not. He is English after all. They may resent one of ours taking two of theirs or they could think he’s using Netta and Aimee. Many of the women have taken to the priest’s teachings about sin, lust, and any joy being a terrible thing.”

  Tristan rubbed his temple. “I wouldn’t want to anger them. When it comes to romance and love, women have short tempers and long memories.”