Liquid Courage

by Hildred Billings

  Kat poured the beers for Harriet’s friends. “One of Shari’s most recent victims, if you can believe it.”

  Harriet scoffed. “I believe it! I tell you what, that woman’s gonna ruin dating for the rest of us. If she keeps upsetting every cute girl in town, I’ll have no one but my dog to cuddle at night.” She took a sip of her drink. “Not that my dog isn’t cuddly, mind you. But sometimes it’s nice to have some human companionship.”

  “I hear that.” Kat placed the large glasses of beer on a small tray and left it on the edge of the bar. Harriet flagged down her friends to come get it.

  Yeah, Shari, quit ruining shit for the rest of us. It was hard enough getting a date around there. None of the regulars needed the newbies ran out. Not on a personal front, and definitely not on the professional! Kat didn’t own the bar, but she saw the bottom line every week. It was the fresh blood that kept the coffers full. Not every woman who came in was interested in other women, but even the straight ones didn’t need the likes of Shari’s attitude plaguing the place.

  “Before you said it was Shari’s problem, I thought maybe you had gotten yourself a new girlfriend who had stopped by to flirt.” Harriet helped herself to the complimentary peanuts.

  “What? Nah.” Kat rolled up her sleeves and continued cleaning the area behind the bar. This was as big of a rush as she would get on Wednesday night, so she might as well start the cleaning now so she could get home as soon as her shift was up in half an hour. “You know I ain’t got no girl.”

  “I’m just saying. You don’t normally flirt like that with customers. Bet she didn’t even leave you a tip.”

  Kat grinned. “A whole five bucks. I’m rich.”

  “How many drinks she buy?”

  “Three. Maybe four. Girl was tiny but no lightweight.”

  “Five bucks for four drinks? You’ve gotta be kidding me. You two were definitely flirting.”

  “It’s not a big deal. Shit’s watered down here anyway.”

  “Now you tell me!”

  Kat laughed. “She was cute though, yeah.”

  “Knew you were crushin’.”

  “Whatever. She ain’t coming back around here again. Not after Shari tainted this place for her.” Too bad. Not just because Shari had run off another customer, but because Vivian had been cute. Kat had no idea what the fuck she meant when she said she was too skinny or not athletic enough to be attractive. That adorable black dress perfectly matched her bobbed hair and the deep brown of her round eyes. Sure, she was a bit thin, but Kat wasn’t exactly a body builder herself. She lifted on the weekends, but her physique came from being on her feet all day.

  “When’s the last time you had a girl, anyway?” Harriet laughed into her glass. “And I don’t mean a lady who lasts a night and you never call her back again. I mean an honest to God girlfriend.”

  “Oh, I dunno.” Kat tossed her dirty rag into the hamper in the back room. “Two years ago? You know I ain’t got time for girls.”

  “Liar, liar. You were seeing that rich girl from California a couple of months ago.”

  “By ‘seeing,’ you must mean seeing her tits, because that was the extent of that relationship.”

  “Woof. It must be that shining personality that keeps them coming back for more.”

  Kat scratched her chin, her other hand grabbing her hip. “Can’t say I’m looking for anything serious. Besides, I’ve got stuff going on.”

  “Name one thing you’ve got going on.”

  A shrug jostled the flannel on Kat’s shoulders. “School.”

  “School? You haven’t taken a class since I first met you!”

  “I dare to dream, I guess.”

  “A sweet little certificate that says you’ve studied enough general ed to be considered for a promotion. What does that get you here? Head bartender?”

  “Har har. It could mean a promotion down at the dock, though.” This was technically Kat’s evening job. Her day job was sorting live fish down at the docks, a mere hour after the fisherman came into port and sold their daily catch. It was gross work, but after a while, Kat swore she stopped smelling fish every time she changed her clothes. Lovers claimed otherwise.

  “What promotion do you get at the dock?”

  “Try doing secretarial work instead of putting these beautiful hands all over fish scales.” Kat flexed her fingers in front of her friend’s face. “Believe it or not, I don’t actually want to sort fish for the rest of my life. But whatcha gonna do with only a high school diploma in this day and age?”

  “I work at the shop. Could probably get you an interview if you’re any good with cars.”

  “I can change oil. That’s about it.”

  “Girl, what kind of dyke are you? At least rotate some damned tires once in a while.”

  Kat laughed on her way into the back room to grab some fresh coasters. She happened to glance at the clock and begin her countdown to end of shift. A rousing evening of taking a shower and watching Netflix on her ancient laptop awaited her, and she was damned excited to do it.

  She was able to leave five minutes early when the next shift arrived. Kat grabbed her jacket and bag before saying goodbye to Harriet and heading out. She only lived a few blocks away. Convenient, since she didn’t have a car and a bus pass wasn’t in her meager budget. The studio apartment was enough to wipe out her income every month.

  But at least it was all hers. You know, for all those women I totally bring home. Kat pulled the hood of her jacket up and shoved her hands into her pockets. The nights were chilly that time of year.

  Not chilly enough for some people, though. Because that was a woman in nothing but a cocktail dress sitting in the bus shelter.

  It was gonna be a long wait for poor Vivian. The buses were only hourly at this time of night. She had been better off staying in the bar and taking her time drinking her booze. Maybe she would’ve made a friend.

  Kat turned around, intent on taking the scenic route to her apartment so she wouldn’t cross Vivian’s path.

  But the moment she pivoted in her Converse and started singing a random ‘80s song, she realized the alternative was much more appealing. She certainly could take the long way home. Or she could go for broke.

  Someone really, really should keep Vivian company, anyway. She was a sitting duck in that shelter. God only knew who would come and harass her.

  ***

  Vivian rechecked the bus schedule. Twenty-five minutes. Really? She had to wait twenty-five more minutes for the bus? Shit. She thought about texting her sister and telling her she was coming home, but decided against it. No need to share the failure that was her life right now. She might as well save it for when she got home and Phyllis began the gamut of questioning.

  “So we meet again.”

  Vivian looked up. Kat stood before her once more, this time with a bag strapped across her chest as she propped herself up against the shelter. Vivian hadn’t been able to see the skinny jeans and black and pink Converse behind the bar. “So we do.” Vivian looked away again. Where was that bus?

  “Feeling any better?”

  “It’s only been fifteen minutes. You off work already?”

  “What can I say? I get off early.”

  They sat in silence for another minute. Kat checked her phone and watched the cool evening amble by, one second at a time.

  “Still thinking about that shithead?”

  “Sorry.” Vivian held her chilly arms close to her chest. “Still a bit sore about it, I guess.”

  “Understandable.” Kat put her phone away. “If it makes you feel better, I think you’re pretty.”

  Vivian snorted in disbelief. “Thanks, but I know how I look. Like a sickly beanpole.” She turned that snort into laughter. “Can’t be helped. Not gonna dwell on it much anymore.”

  “That’s good.” Kat pushed herself off the shelter. “I’m serious, though. I don’t think you look sickly. I mean, when you say you were really sick a while ago, I guess I can see it. Bu
t if you never told me at all, I doubt I would have noticed a damn thing. Some women are fat and some are skinny. Either doesn’t say shit about who you are as a human being.” Before Vivian could protest, Kat continued, “Take that Shari for instance. She’s hot, and she knows it. But what good does that do her if she’s miserable? She’s great to look at from afar, but once you get up close, you can see the ugliness emanating from her.”

  Although she knew what Kat meant, Vivian couldn’t help but say, “You mean it’s better to be ugly and a good person, like me?” She smiled to make sure Kat didn’t take it seriously.

  “You joke, but you know it’s true. I never said you were ugly, though. Quite the opposite. I recall saying that you’re really pretty.”

  Vivian blushed and continued to search for the bus. Once it showed up, that would be the end of the bartender’s charm. At least her night didn’t end on a completely sour note.

  “You wanna get out of here?”

  “What?” Vivian tried not to laugh. “You’re serious?”

  That was a half-smile, half-frown on Kat’s lovely face. “I don’t joke about that sort of thing. Would put me on par with the likes of that asshole who was so rude to you.”

  Vivian sat up on the bench and readjusted her purse in her lap. “Well, I… don’t know how to respond to that.”

  Kat chuckled. “Never mind, then. Bit forward of me, wasn’t it?”

  “You barely know me.”

  “You barely knew that woman you were with tonight. But I know how she plays, so you were definitely expecting something to happen. Just saying.”

  “Yeah, with her.”

  “Not trying to say you owe me.” Kat fiddled with her phone. “Offer’s out there, though.”

  Vivian tensed. “Why?”

  “Why not?”

  A car drove by. Why not, indeed?

  Whatever possessed her to get up and tell Kat that they were going somewhere together was completely lost on Vivian. Yet there she was, wandering away with a woman she had just met – in a bar. Even Shari had chatted with her for a few days. Granted, all of that chatting turned out to be complete bullshit…

  “Where are we going?” Vivian spun around as the bus drove by. There went her last chance to escape. Now she was committed to following Kat’s plan. “I thought you were taking the bus back to your place.”

  “I live around here.” Kat pointed to a side street. “I was thinking of taking the bus to go see someone else, but this is fine too.”

  Vivian stopped beneath a streetlamp. It took Kat a few seconds to realize that she was no longer being followed.

  “Go see someone else?”

  Kat went on her way.

  The street grew darker the longer they walked. The lights of the city gave way to the dullness of inner-city living. Although there was no other sign of life, Vivian couldn’t help but feel that this was the perfect opportunity for a mugging. She stopped again and looked at Kat, imagining this woman stealing her purse.

  That image quickly changed into something else. A fantasy. Kat slamming Vivian against the wall and…

  “You coming?” Kat opened a door hidden in the shadows of the alley. “It’s another hour until the next bus. You may as well wait here before it gets too cold.”

  Vivian went up the stairs behind the door and encountered a loft overlooking the grime of the alley below. Hardly glamorous, but it was probably quiet and cheap. Perfect for a bartender’s lifestyle.

  Kat shut the door, locked it, and remained in the shadows while Vivian attempted to get a grip. She wouldn’t be able to think until this was over. Lucky for her, Kat came over and did the thinking for her.

  Chapter 3

  Women always talked about their fantasies whenever they had a little too much to drink and decided they were in the kind of company that would appreciate some “girl talk.” Vivian knew those situations well. She often listened to her friends and good coworkers go on about the things they thought about late at night. No, not taxes! Men! Women! The way they fucked!

  But Vivian didn’t usually relate to those stories. Her biggest fantasies involved some heavy petting and going straight to the main, missionary action. That was the bulk of her sexual experiences, and she was fine with that.

  Shit like being seduced by a stranger, going home with them, and dancing in the dark had always sounded more like a horror story than hot.

  So, of course, Kat would kiss Vivian and instantly arouse her. Like this had been a fantasy she secretly harbored for years. Apparently, she hid it so well that even she didn’t know about it!

  Kat was neither rough nor gentle. She was a member of the wonderful balance, her lips testing Vivian’s as they embraced and promptly slammed against the wall next to the front door. Fast. Everything happened so fast, as if the world were on high-speed and Vivian struggled to catch up with the new pace. From free advice at the bar to being kissed and felt up in a stranger’s home… how could Vivian not revel in it? So did Kat. She lifted her lover’s skirt and planted a hungry kiss on Vivian’s throat.

  She whimpered. Kat made short work of every inch of bare skin, from nipping Vivian’s earlobes to plunging her tongue deep into cleavage. I don’t even have that much cleavage! How is she finding it? How could Vivian stand to have this stranger from the bar have such a wicked way with her? It’s how I am, though. Perhaps it was for the best. Vivian loved it when another woman took charge in the bedroom – or in the hallway, in this case. She liked having her body fondled in flattery and desire, and she liked hearing another woman groan and pant in inspired arousal. Visions of what they could do together warmed Vivian’s already addled brain even before her dress unzipped, her straps falling down her arms and her breasts exposing themselves to a horny bartender making short work of the body in front of her.

  “Hot damn, you’re fucking gorgeous.” Kat hiked up Vivian’s skirt and rubbed her slit through the pair of silk underwear someone had worn for a woman named Shari. Who? Vivian shoved herself back against the wall again, as if it could save her. “And hot damn, you are wet.” While Vivian didn’t have those traditional fantasies before, she definitely understood Kat’s great need to succumb to basic animal instincts. When presented with wet pussy, some women only had one thing taking over their sex-infused minds.

  Vivian shivered in anxious anticipation as Kat slowly sank to her knees. Oh my God… already? Here? In her hallway?

  Those big brown eyes caught the few flecks of light in the darkened hallway. Vivian shuddered, her dress half off and her legs struggling to spread for a total stranger. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never picked up a stranger at a bar and gone home with her. I’ve never… It was different from arranging a date beforehand and hoping for the best the first night. Vivian had a few one-night stands before, but this was different. This was… like giving a big, fat middle finger to everything that was supposedly proper in the dating world!

  Perhaps too big of a finger. Because Vivian shook for more reasons than mere sexual anticipation. Anxiety had crippled her before. Shari’s damning words still echoed in her head, and not in a good way. No amount of calling her beautiful or gorgeous that night was going to undo the damage someone like Shari had already done. How could it? Vivian was still too fragile from her illness and the self-esteem it sapped out of her to properly appreciate a hot woman getting down on her knees to go down on someone like Vivian!

  “Wait,” Vivian said, covering her breasts with her arms. “I said wait!”

  That one finally got through Kat’s skull. The bartender sat back on her legs with such ferocity that she almost completely knocked herself over in the hallway.

  “Sorry…” Vivian bit her lip. Now that the arousal quickly dissipated, she could only think about covering herself up and closing her legs before she further embarrassed herself. Wasn’t it amazing how quickly a woman could feel shame and regret?

  Kat blinked away the fog from her eyes. “What is it? Did I do something?”

  “No
.” Vivian pulled her straps back up to her shoulders and yanked down her skirt. “I’m so sorry. I don’t think I can do this.”

  Kat briefly looked away. “Wow.”

  “I’m sorry!” Shoes awkwardly clomped toward the door. Vivian still didn’t have her balance, and it was going to kill her before she could get out. There’s a headline for tomorrow: shy lesbian dies after dumping her booty-date. She was thin enough that her brittle bones would probably crack the moment she made impact. Another three weeks in the hospital for her!

  Oh, God. There it was: the enraged anxiety that told her she wasn’t good enough for something like this. She was an imposter. The moment Kat got these clothes off, the moment she stuck her face between barely-there thighs, the moment she tasted what a sickly woman offered…

  The gig would be up!

  “It’s not you.” Damnit. Vivian was doing it. She was saying the dumbest thing she could think of. “It’s me. I’m not ready for this.”

  Kat got up. “Sorry if I pushed you, I guess.”

  “No!” Vivian found the door handle. “You didn’t do anything. I just wasn’t… you’re…”

  “Maybe I should take you out for dinner first.”

  Vivian stopped herself. “Come again?”

  “It was a joke. Because of how fast we went.”

  “Yeah, oh, yeah!” Nervous laughter filled the air. “Well, uh, maybe I’ll see you around Kat. Please don’t take this the wrong way. You’re great.” Cold air touched Vivian’s sweaty skin as she slid out the door and gave a half-assed wave to her put-out hostess. “I’ve gotta go.”

  She shut the door before Kat could give her another exasperated look. Good job, loser. Vivian hustled through the cold alleyway and back toward the bus stop. Stupid her, indeed. Because it was another forty-five minutes before the next bus came, and she was way better off getting a rideshare to take her home.