The Daddy Secret

by Judy Duarte

“We were kids, Rick. You had no job. No way of supporting us. You were living with another family back then. Remember?”

  “I know, but I was willing to do whatever I had to.”

  Mallory crossed her arms. “And if we’d gotten married when we were teenagers, where would we be now?”

  He shrugged. “Who the hell knows?”

  She waited a beat, then asked, “So now what?”

  He blew out a breath. “In some ways, I have no more to offer Lucas now than I did ten years ago, Mallory. I have no idea how to be a father. My old man used to beat me, that is, when he cared enough to come home. And when he was sober enough to stand up. And then, he took off one day and never came back.

  “My uncle was better, at least to me and my brother. But when he drank, he used to abuse my aunt. You know all that. So my family history sucks. Yet now that Lucas is here in Brighton Valley, now that I’ve met him, I’d like the chance to get to know him. And I want him to know me.”

  “Fair enough.” She got to her feet, deciding to put on her social worker hat for the time being. After all, she wasn’t so sure how to coparent with a guy like Rick, either. Or how he’d fit into her life after all these years. “Why don’t we take things slow and easy? We can both let things simmer, then talk more about it later.”

  He pondered that for a moment. “I suppose that makes sense. I need to sort things out, too. How much time are you suggesting?”

  “I’m not sure. Weeks. Maybe months.”

  “Why so long?”

  “Parenting is a big deal. I’ve never had to do it full-time. And neither have you. Lucas has been through so much recently, and he has a lot to sort through. I’m not sure introducing you to him as his birth father is a good idea right now.”

  Rick stiffened. “Why not?”

  “Well, because...” She took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “Losing his parents was hard on him. And then there was the move. He left everything that was familiar, so it’s all been a big adjustment for him. And for me, too.”

  “You don’t want him to know who I am?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Why?”

  “Because... Let’s just say it’s complicated.”

  Rick crossed his arms. “How so?”

  “I... Well, Gary and Sue were always very honest with him. And when he asked me about his biological father...I... Well, I don’t want him to think that I lied to him.”

  “Why would he think that?”

  Mallory shifted in her chair. At the time, when he’d asked about his biological dad, she’d given him the kindest, most logical response she could give a child. But in retrospect, she’d made a mistake. She just wasn’t sure how to backpedal at this point without making things worse.

  Finally, Rick said, “I hope you didn’t tell him that I didn’t want to marry you. I wanted to, remember? Of course, I now have to admit that your grandfather was right. I didn’t have a dime to my name and probably wouldn’t have been a good husband and father, although I would have tried. But for the record, you were the one who was responsible for losing contact. You stopped taking my calls.”

  “You can’t blame me for that. Giving up the baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I told you how badly I wanted an open adoption, and you refused to even consider it. In fact, you were adamant. You said that I could either bring the baby home, or leave it in Boston. But if I left it, not to even bother telling you if it was a boy or a girl.”

  Rick raked a hand through his hair. “I had a hot temper back then. And I was trying to force your hand. The only reason I didn’t want an open adoption with a kid living in Boston, when I was dirt-poor and living in Texas, was because I’d never see him. So fatherhood was an all-or-nothing thing for me. I figured you’d see motherhood that way, too.”

  “I’m sorry, Rick. I didn’t know where you were coming from.”

  “You could have asked.”

  Maybe she should have. Clamming up had always been his first line of defense, but she’d been too hurt to care about his feelings.

  “You know,” he said, “that really sucks, Mal.”

  What did? The fact that they’d both been too young, immature and ill-prepared to deal with the kind of situation a pregnancy had caused? To be honest, even now, with her education and maturity, she still felt a little out of her league when parenting a boy who’d lost so much in such a few short years.

  “I can’t believe you’d do that,” Rick said.

  Apparently, they weren’t both on the same page. “Do what?”

  “Let Lucas think that I didn’t want him.”

  At that, Mallory leaned forward. “Oh, my gosh, Rick. I’d never tell him something like that. For one thing, that would have crushed him.”

  Rick settled back into the sofa cushion as if relieved. Then, almost as quickly, he straightened up again. “Then what did you tell him?”

  “I told him—” Mallory paused for a beat, hating to admit it, then pressed on “—that you died.”

  Rick’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Why in the hell did you tell him that?”

  She hadn’t meant to lie, but she’d thought about it over the years. And she’d realized that something innocent and fragile had died inside her when Rick had signed those adoption papers and told her to do whatever she wanted. Then, when she’d had to choose between staying in Boston to be near Lucas or returning to Brighton Valley and Rick, she’d had to bury whatever memories they’d once had—and any hope of a future together.

  “At the time it seemed like the easiest way to explain your absence in our lives. Besides, I wasn’t sure what had happened to you. I knew that Joey ran away. And given the rumors I’d heard about the fights you’d been involved in and all the drinking, I’d assumed the same thing had happened to you.” She almost mentioned his uncle’s trial and conviction, but decided to let that ride for now.

  Rick stretched his arm out across the back of her sofa. “Listen, Mallory. I’ll admit that I got into a lot of trouble after you left Brighton Valley, but when you didn’t come back home like you said you would and wouldn’t return my calls, I fell into my old habits. In fact, without you in school, I couldn’t see any point in being there, either, so I dropped out before Thanksgiving.”

  She ought to feel a bit justified at the anger she’d carried for years, yet a surge of sympathy shot through her instead, urging her to rise up from her chair, and sit next to him, under his outstretched arm... To lean her head against his shoulder, to caress his knee, to offer words of compassion....

  What was wrong with her?

  Ten years had passed since she’d last seen him, and yet she still found herself struggling with those same old urges, those same yearnings, those same... What? Feelings?

  No, not those. Not anymore. She was no longer a foolish and gullible teenager blinded by his charm.

  “So you dropped out of school, and that’s my fault?”

  Rick’s brow furrowed, and his eye twitched. “Yeah, well, back then, I blamed you.”

  “You don’t now?”

  “Not for me dropping out of school. That was my own choice, but I rectified it.” Rick placed his hand on the sofa’s armrest, then stood. “I’m going to go before we both say things that would be better left unsaid. But just so you know, I’m going to respect your wishes and keep my true identity under wraps for the time being.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “But don’t take too long figuring out a comfortable way to set him straight.”

  “I’ll do my best.” She got to her feet, too. “Thank you for understanding.”

  They merely stood there for a moment. Then Rick moved a couple paces forward, reached for her hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze with a firm grip, sending a bevy of goose bumps fluttering up her arms. “
You’ve got a week, Mallory.”

  Then he released her hand, leaving her in the middle of the living room as he headed for the door.

  A week? She wasn’t sure she was following him. “You mean...?”

  As he opened the front door, he turned and glanced over his shoulder. His gaze locked onto hers. “You have one week—seven days—to resurrect me.”

  “Or what?”

  “Or I’ll tell Lucas myself.”

  Chapter Three

  The afternoon sunlight spilled onto the antique oak and brass in the back office when Rick finally got a chance to read the morning paper. It wasn’t often that he could take a break on a workday, but the clinic schedule had been unusually light for a Wednesday.

  In fact, he’d even been tempted to let Kara, his vet tech/receptionist, go home early, but the last time he’d done that, a frantic woman with two sobbing kids had rushed in with a six-month-old Queensland Heeler and a year-old lab mix, both of which had gotten into rat poison. The dogs Rick could handle. But trying to calm and reassure the woman and children who were afraid their pets were dying had damn near been his undoing. Kara was so much better equipped to offer comfort than he was, so for that reason alone, Rick hadn’t let her go.

  As Fate would have it, nothing unexpected had come up this afternoon. At least, not until Kara approached his open office door.

  “Dr. Martinez?”

  Rick looked up from the article he’d been reading. “Yes, Kara?”

  “That little boy is back. You know, the cute little guy who kind of looks like you?”

  She had to be talking about Lucas. And the fact that she’d picked up on their resemblance probably required a response, but Rick wasn’t sure what to say, so he let it slide. “Is he with Alice Reilly?”

  “No, he’s alone. He rode his bicycle and left it outside. He asked if I thought it would be safe out there. He’s afraid someone might steal it.”

  “That’s because he used to live in a big city.” Rick set the paper aside and stood. Then he made his way to the front of the office, where the boy stood near the fish tank.

  When Lucas heard the adults approach, he turned and blessed Rick with a bright-eyed smile. “Hey, Dr. Martinez. I was just checking out the neighborhood and stopped to say hi.”

  Kara, who’d followed Rick and was leaning against the doorjamb, looked first at Lucas, then at Rick, and back to the boy. She smiled before returning to her desk and whispered, “Amazing.”

  Rick was definitely going to have to address the issue of his resemblance to Lucas with Kara one of these days, but not now. Not in front of the boy. And not until the week was up and he and Mallory had settled things.

  “I also wanted to tell you my good idea,” Lucas said.

  “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

  “When it’s summer, and lots of kids get jobs, I thought it would be cool if I worked for you. And I know just the thing I could do.”

  Rick couldn’t help but smile at his spunk, but hiring him was out of the question. Even if there weren’t state laws about child labor Rick had to comply with, the clinic could get busy at times. And he couldn’t have a nine-year-old boy underfoot. “I’m afraid I don’t need any office help right now.”

  “I wasn’t talking about working in the office,” Lucas said. “You could hire me to play with Buddy every day. That way, I could make sure he wouldn’t jump out of the fence, and you wouldn’t have to keep him locked in the small cage. What do you think?”

  The idea was pretty wild, but Rick had to give the kid credit for ingenuity. He’d figured out a way to spend time with Buddy every day once summer rolled around.

  “Actually,” Lucas said, “you wouldn’t even have to pay me, but if it was a real job, my mom would probably let me do it.”

  So, he was cunning, too. He’d figured out how to get his mother’s approval at the same time.

  Mallory was going to have her hands full with him when he became a teenager. He was already trying to outsmart her.

  “So what do you say?” the boy asked.

  “Let me think about it, okay?” Rick would have to talk it over with Mallory, who might not think it was a very good idea—with or without a wage being attached.

  “Would it be okay if I played with Buddy now?” Lucas asked. “You wouldn’t have to pay me. I’d do it for free.”

  Did Mallory realize how badly the boy wanted a pet? Probably not. Should Rick go to bat for him?

  Just how involved did he want to get?

  He hadn’t decided yet, but since there wasn’t anything going on this afternoon, he didn’t suppose it would hurt to let him spend some time with the dog.

  “Sure,” Rick said. “Let’s go play with Buddy.”

  Twenty minutes later, while Buddy chased Lucas around the fenced yard in back, Rick fed and cared for the other rescue animals—three cats, a rabbit, a Nubian goat and a dun gelding. Yet he couldn’t keep from watching his son. It was heartwarming to see Lucas so happy, so carefree.

  Too bad Mallory couldn’t see him and Buddy together. Maybe she’d consider giving the dog a home. Of course, she and Buddy hadn’t gotten off on the right foot—or rather paw. And there’d definitely be a need for some obedience classes.

  “Dr. Martinez?” Kara called from the back door of the clinic. “It’s nearly five, so I’m going to start locking up.”

  “Thank you, Kara. Have a good weekend.”

  “You, too.”

  Rick turned his attention back to Lucas. It was still hard to wrap his mind around the fact that he and Mallory had conceived a child, but this particular boy, with his ingenuity, his heart for animals and all the other things Rick had yet to uncover about him, intrigued him.

  To quote Kara, it was truly amazing.

  When Lucas ran up, with Buddy on his heels, he had to stop and catch his breath before he could speak. “Did you think about it yet? Would it be okay if I came and played with Buddy?”

  “We’ll have to talk to your mom about that,” Rick said.

  “I don’t think she’ll care, especially when Brian gets here.”

  “Brian?”

  “Her boyfriend.”

  Rick had made a lot of assumptions about Mallory, all because she’d never told him much about where she’d been and what she’d done after she’d left Brighton Valley. But never once had she hinted at the fact that she had a man in her life. Not that the information was pertinent to their son, but...

  Well, for some crazy reason, it felt pertinent to Rick.

  “Where does Brian live?” he asked.

  “In Boston. But he’s going to move to Brighton Valley.”

  That was a pretty big move for a couple who were just dating. The relationship sounded serious.

  “Do you like Brian?” Rick asked.

  “He’s okay, but he’s kind of a nerd. Know what I mean?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because he doesn’t like sports or anything fun. He’s not like my dad.” Lucas paused, then glanced down at his feet. When he looked up, he swiped at his watery eyes with the back of his hand.

  Aw, man. Rick didn’t know what to say, what to do.

  “My mom died, too,” Lucas added. “And sometimes it’s really hard. Mallory tries, but she’s not...” He stopped, bit down on his lip. “Well, she is, but... It’s hard to explain.”

  “Listen, Lucas. Mallory told me about Sue and Gary Dunlop. And they were your real parents. Don’t ever forget that. They loved you and chose to be your mom and dad. They stepped in when your birth parents weren’t able to.”

  Rick could have said something then about being his birth father and could have used the opportunity to explain, but he’d promised Mallory he’d wait, and he’d honor that.

  He knew he was
n’t very good at this sort of thing, but for some reason, he wanted to go to bat for Mallory. And he figured he could do that by saying what he imagined she’d say if she were here with them.

  “Mallory loves you, too, Lucas. More than you’ll ever know. And the hardest thing she ever had to do was to give you up when she did. But she chose the very best parents in the world for you. And I think she did an excellent job, don’t you?”

  Lucas sniffled and nodded.

  “Mallory is able to be your mom now. And she’ll be there for you always. I know it’s not the same as it used to be, but in time, I think you’ll see that your life will be just as good as it was—only in a different way.”

  “That’s what Mallory said.” Lucas sniffled again. “And I love her, too. It’s just that...well, you know.”

  “Yeah, I do know.” And while Rick really didn’t, not exactly, he had a pretty good idea.

  He also did know something else. Mallory had been right. Lucas had been through a lot recently. And while it might not be fair to dump too much of the past on him right now—like a living, breathing birth father—maybe it wasn’t fair to throw a potential stepfather at him, either.

  The two of them sat like that for a while, lost in their thoughts, lost in their memories and what-ifs.

  Rick wished he could tell Lucas who he really was and that he’d be there for him, too. Maybe not as a real dad or as Mallory’s husband, but he could be a substitute for Gary Dunlop.

  In fact, the more he thought about being a substitute, the more he liked it.

  That way, there wouldn’t be the same expectations. And if he screwed up, maybe it wouldn’t matter so much.

  * * *

  Rick had no idea where the time had gone, but at a quarter to six, Lucas suddenly realized he was in “big trouble” and had to hurry home. Apparently, Mallory had only given Lucas permission to ride his bike for a few minutes—and to stay “close to the house.”

  For some reason, Rick felt a little guilty, too, although he wasn’t sure why.

  As a kid, he’d never had any kind of curfew. He’d just gone home whenever he’d felt like it. In fact, sometimes it had been in his best interest to arrive after his old man—and later, his uncle—had gone to bed.