The Daddy Secret

by Judy Duarte

  “Let me explain.” Rick leaned forward and placed his forearms on his knees. “One of the reasons your mom and I lost touch with each other is because I was opposed to the idea of an open adoption.”

  At that, Lucas appeared more hurt than angry. “You were? How come?”

  “I thought it would be too hard on me. How was I supposed to be a part of your life when I lived so far away from you? I’d never get to see you. Besides that, I was young and didn’t know how to be a father. My dad hadn’t been a good example. And I also thought that Gary Dunlop would be a much better dad than I could ever be.”

  Lucas seemed to ponder that for a while. As he did, silence filled the room until Mallory thought she ought to rise up and say something, although she wasn’t sure what.

  Finally Lucas turned to her. “I can’t believe you lied to me, though. My other mom and dad never lied.”

  Guilt rose up and jabbed her in the chest, shoving her back, making her feel as though she’d not only failed her son, but that she’d failed Gary and Sue, too.

  “Don’t be too hard on your mom,” Rick said. “She did what she thought was best back then. And she’s trying to come clean now. In fact, we both are.”

  “It’s not that I don’t like you,” Lucas said, “but I think this whole thing sucks.”

  So did Mallory, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now, other than to apologize.

  “I’m sorry, Lucas. I was wrong. I should have told you the truth. All I can do is promise never to lie to you again. Will you please forgive me?”

  Lucas didn’t answer right away. About the time she thought he might hold it against her indefinitely, he said, “I guess so.”

  “Will you forgive me, too?” Rick asked. “Sometimes we make decisions when we’re young and dumb, and they’re not always the best ones. Luckily, your mom and I have a second chance to get things right. And even though you and I are getting a late start, I want you to know that I’m glad you’re my son. And that I’d like to be a part of your life, even if it’s just as a friend and mentor—like Hank Lazaro is to me.”

  Mallory couldn’t imagine how Lucas could say no to that. The kid was such a loving child. Sue and Gary had done wonders with him, even though he could be a bit rebellious and stubborn at times.

  “Remember what you said to me yesterday?” Lucas asked Rick. “You talked about adults not doing what they’re supposed to do and kids not trusting them.”

  Mallory glanced at Rick, their gazes communicating in a way they hadn’t done in years. He’s a smart kid. Parenting him isn’t going to be easy.

  “Point taken,” Rick told the boy. “But in time, you’re going to realize that you can trust your mom and me to be honest and to do right by you from now on.”

  “I hope so,” Lucas said. Then he turned to Mallory. “Can I go back to the den now and finish playing my video game?”

  “Sure.” Mallory waited until he’d gone upstairs and his bedroom door closed to blow out the breath she’d been holding. But she hadn’t been able to hold back the tears that welled in her eyes.

  * * *

  Mallory turned to Rick, her bottom lip quivering, a tear slipping down her cheek. He was tempted to take her in his arms and hold her close, just as he had when she’d come to him in tears ten years ago, scared to death of what her grandfather was going to say when she told him that she was pregnant.

  “I think you’re safe,” Rick had told her back then. “I’m probably the one who’ll be facing the wrong end of his shotgun.”

  The minister hadn’t turned violent, like some of Rick’s family had been prone to do, but he’d still hit the roof and had threatened to have Rick arrested for statutory rape.

  Rick hadn’t believed the courts would see it that way, especially since he’d just turned eighteen and had been willing to marry Mallory, but she’d disagreed. Her grandfather had been prominent in the community and knew people. In fact, the D.A. was a golf buddy of his. So she’d gone along with his wishes to leave town, give the baby away and then return with no one the wiser.

  She hadn’t come back, though. And the rest was history.

  In fact, so much history had taken place since she’d left town ten years ago that an embrace, no matter how tempting, was no longer appropriate.

  “Thanks for telling Lucas not to blame me,” she said.

  “Yeah, well I’m not sure there are any real villains in this scenario,” he said. Not even her grandfather, although Rick had always thought of him as one.

  Maybe he ought to stop by and visit the retired minister one of these days. That might go a long way in mending fences.

  Rick and Mallory continued to sit on the sofa, not quite close enough to touch, yet still connected in ways neither of them could deny any longer.

  “I did love you,” she said.

  He’d loved her, too. But he wasn’t going to admit it. Not when they’d just promised Lucas they’d be honest with each other from this day forward. Because a confession like that might lead to a truth he was just beginning to wrap his heart and mind around—he’d probably never stopped loving her at all.

  “But back then,” Mallory added, “we really weren’t in a position to get married and provide a home for Lucas.”

  “You’re right. I realize that now.”

  They drifted back into silence, neither of them moving. Instead, they seemed to be lost in their thoughts, their memories—and maybe even their regrets.

  “After you left, I waited for your calls,” he said, “but they were so few and far between that it felt as though you’d pretty much shut me out of your life.”

  “My aunt Carrie wanted me to cut all ties with you, and while I hated being so far away and not keeping in closer contact, I tried to respect her wishes. I figured I’d gotten into enough trouble as it was, and...”

  He finished her sentence for her. “And you wanted to prove to her that you were still a good girl.”

  “I guess you’re right.” She bit down on her bottom lip. “But not a day went by that I didn’t think about you. That I didn’t cry myself to sleep.”

  She’d finally contacted him through a friend when she’d been about eight months pregnant, and he’d thought that she was calling to tell him she’d changed her mind about him, about them, about the baby. And for a couple of heartbeats, he hadn’t felt so all alone anymore.

  Instead, she’d told him she’d found a great couple who would be perfect parents, although her words had just buzzed in his ears.

  She was really going to do it, he’d thought. She was going to give away their baby. And Rick had realized that he’d lost his one shot being a part of a real family.

  So when she’d told him that she’d wanted an open adoption, where birth parents kept in touch with their kids and the new families, he’d balked. He couldn’t even fathom a thing like that. He’d either wanted to be the only father in his kid’s life, or he’d wanted to walk away and pretend the whole thing had never happened. As far as he’d been concerned back then, it had to be either all or nothing.

  But in truth, there’d been another question he’d asked himself. What kind of dad would he have made? After all, he’d been such a crappy big brother that Joey hadn’t even turned to him when things got rough. Instead, he’d run away from home and had disappeared from the planet.

  So in his pain, in his disappointment, Rick had told Mallory, Do whatever you want. I don’t want anything to do with the baby or with the adoption plan. Send me the paperwork, and I’ll sign off. I’m done.

  He’d thought he heard her voice crack, thought his words had hurt her, but he hadn’t cared. She’d hurt him by refusing to marry him, and turnabout had seemed to be fair play.

  “I thought you’d call me when the baby was born,” he said.

  She shot a glance at him, her
gaze lancing his. “You told me not to bother.”

  The truth in her words slammed into him. “I didn’t mean it. I was so hurt, all I could think of was lashing back at you.”

  “It worked,” she said.

  Apparently, it had. Because she hadn’t come back to Brighton Valley like she’d told him she would. And he supposed that had been his fault, too.

  At the time, he’d told himself it hadn’t mattered. But it had, because once Mallory was no longer at school, Rick hadn’t want to be there, either. He’d dropped out before Thanksgiving.

  Thank God Hank Lazaro had come around when he had.

  “I’m sorry for hurting you,” Rick said. “I can’t make up for the pain I caused you in the past. All I can say is that I was young and didn’t have anyone to turn to for guidance back then. But I promise to be more considerate in the future.”

  “Apology accepted. So now what are we going to do?”

  “About Lucas?” Or about their youthful romance that had been doomed from the start?

  “Yes. He’s pretty upset.”

  “Give him some time. We dumped a lot on him tonight.”

  “You’re right.”

  Rick hoped so. But he really wasn’t sure.

  “I guess we’ll have to learn how to coparent,” she said.

  “We seem to be making a pretty good start—for novices.”

  She turned to him and smiled, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy—yet still as pretty as ever, still as attractive.

  So what the hell were they going to do about that damned youthful romance? She hadn’t asked him about that. But the question was due to come up someday because his feelings for Mallory had come back full force.

  Still, even though he’d turned his life around, and the past ten years had brought a lot of changes, she was still out of reach.

  And now he had a son, a boy who’d once thought he hung the moon—until he learned about the teenager Rick had once been.

  All Rick had ever wanted to do was to put the past behind him, but now he feared his mistakes and bad decisions would haunt him the rest of his life.

  * * *

  The next day had been busy, and Rick had to work through lunch. So late that afternoon, he’d finally taken a break and had gone back to his office, where he ate a sandwich at his desk.

  He’d no more than taken a second bite when Kara buzzed him to let him know he had a call on line one.

  “Who is it?” he asked.

  “Your aunt.”

  “Thanks.” He didn’t pick up right away. Instead, he thought about having Kara give Tia Rosa a reason he couldn’t talk now. But he figured she’d just call back later or try and reach him at home tonight. So he put down his sandwich, pushed the lighted button and connected the line.

  “Hi, Tia. What’s going on?”

  “Quite a bit, actually. I know you advised against it, but I went out to dinner with your uncle. And it was nice. He was nice. I really think the change in him is real. I was wondering if you’d come over to my house to meet with us one night this week.”

  No way would Rick agree to do that. He didn’t want to re-establish a relationship with his uncle—especially if Ramon and Rosa reconciled. He’d fought too long and too hard to shake the shame and embarrassment of the past. And all he needed was for his uncle to backslide and start drinking.

  “I’m sorry, Tia. I’m tied up this week.”

  “Then maybe next week.”

  “Actually, this entire month is going to be tough. I’m interviewing other vets interested in joining my practice, plus I have some personal issues that have cropped up.”

  “Oh.”

  He could hear the disappointment in her voice, and while he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, he’d finally managed to create a respectable standing in the community, and he didn’t need to be associated with a couple prone to drunken brawls that sometimes turned violent and required police intervention.

  Rick had Lucas to think about now. And, in a way, he had Mallory, too.

  “I know you still love him,” Rick said. “But I’m going to level with you, Tia. Even if my schedule lightens up, I’m not going to agree to meeting with the two of you. I’m not in support of a reconciliation, so I’m not going to get involved.”

  “I’m sorry for bothering you,” she said.

  “You didn’t bother me. Feel free to call me anytime. But I’ve moved on in my life. And dredging up the past isn’t something I want to do.”

  He took a moment to ask about her health and her new job, just so she wouldn’t think he was angry. Then they said goodbye.

  Still, after the line disconnected, his stomach knotted, and he shoved his sandwich aside.

  Maybe he should have been more understanding, but hell, even Joey had taken off for parts unknown, wanting to put it all behind him—including his own brother.

  Is that what Joey had done? Gotten a fresh start?

  As he was prone to do whenever Joey crossed his mind, Rick tried to think about what had gone wrong—and what he could have done to prevent his kid brother from running away.

  Rick probably should have spent more time with him, talked to him about doing his homework and that sort of thing. After all, the kid never had any real parental figure.

  But neither had Rick.

  After Joey had run off, Rick had gone out looking for him, but it was as if he’d dropped off the face of the earth. Rick’s biggest fear, which had grown steadily each year, was that something bad had happened to him—that he’d died or gone to prison.

  Rick had gone so far as to hire a private investigator a couple years ago, but the guy hadn’t turned up any leads.

  How did a teenager just disappear? In this day and age, with all the computer technology going on, you’d think that...

  Rick sat back in his chair. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? His old buddy, Clay Jenkins, was a computer whiz who owned Zorba the Geek, a successful national franchise, as well as its affiliate, GeekMart Electronics.

  If anyone could do a cyber search and find something, it would be Clay.

  Rick immediately buzzed Kara, telling her to hold his calls for a while. Then he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Clay.

  Several rings later, his friend answered with an upbeat voice. “Hey, Rick. What’s up? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

  “I know. It’s been way too long.”

  Rick didn’t take the time to mention that Mallory had come back to town, that she now had custody of Lucas. There was time to update his buddy later. Right now, he was concerned about finding Joey.

  “I was hoping you could do me a favor, Clay. It’s been ten years, and I still haven’t heard from my brother. I keep imagining the worst, and not knowing is really killing me. I’d like some closure. I can’t help blaming myself for not visiting him more when he was in that last foster home. If I’d been a better listener, if I’d spent more time with him...”

  “You can’t beat yourself up for that,” Clay said. “You were just a kid yourself. And you had your own troubles.”

  Rick and Clay had been pretty tight back then, so his friend knew all too well what the Martinez brothers had been going through.

  “I thought that you might be able to help me,” Rick said.

  “I’ll do whatever I can. What do you need?”

  “I hired a P.I. a couple of years ago, but he didn’t turn up anything. I figured, with your computer skills, you might have better luck.”

  “Sure. Do you have any personal info? Or do you need me to dig it up?”

  Rick gave him what he had—name, birth date and social security number.

  “Let me see what I can find out, and I’ll get back to you.”

  Rick thanked him, then asked how things wer
e going for him.

  “Actually,” Clay said, “I might be coming back to Brighton Valley myself. My first store is losing money like crazy, and I know something’s wrong. I’m going to find out whether someone’s running it into the ground because of incompetency or because they’re siphoning funds.”

  “Why do it yourself?”

  “Because that’s where it all started. Hank got me a job there, and Ralph Weston, the previous owner, taught me a lot about business and honesty and hard work. I guess you could say that store has sentimental value. And seeing it go down the tubes like that...Well, it’s personal.”

  “I understand completely. And it’ll be good to see you.”

  They chatted a while longer. Clay asked about Hank and Marie, and Rick told him they were doing well. They’d just hung up the phone when Kara buzzed him.

  “I see that you’re off the line, Dr. Martinez. Do you have a few minutes?”

  “Yes.”

  “Lucas is here. And he’d like to talk to you—if you’re not busy.”

  “Send him in.”

  Lucas hadn’t been happy when he’d learned that Rick was his dad. Maybe having twenty-four hours to think it over had given him a fresh perspective. Maybe he wanted to start things off on a better foot.

  Rick certainly hoped so.

  When the boy walked into his office, he stopped short of the desk, then bit down on his lip, just as Mallory was prone to do. “I wanted to talk to you, but I can sit in the waiting room until you’re done eating.”

  Rick wrapped his sandwich back up and smiled. “Have a seat. I was just taking a break.”

  “I’ve been thinking about stuff,” Lucas said, as he pulled out one of the chairs in front of the desk and took a seat. Again, he bit down on his lip

  “So what’s on your mind?” Rick asked.

  Lucas took a deep breath, then slowly let it out as he narrowed his gaze at Rick. “My mom used to love you. Did you love her, too?”

  Rick might have downplayed his feelings in the past—even to himself. But he’d promised the kid not to lie to him, and that was a promise he intended to keep. “Yes, I loved her.”

  “So are you going to ask her to go out with you?”