The Sweet Spot

by Ariel Ellman

  “You’re everything to me,” Ani wept, climbing into Sebastian’s lap and wrapping her arms around his waist. “You’re my life,” she sobbed against his chest.

  “What does that mean?” Sebastian whispered, finally giving in and wrapping his arms around Ani and pressing her against his chest. “Does it mean that you want to be my wife and build a life with me? Does it mean you want to have my children? Or does it mean you want to live in a separate house that your husband pays for and fuck me a few times a week?” he asked hoarsely.

  “Bast,” Ani choked in horror. “How could you ask me something like that?” She lifted her tear-streaked face to meet his. “Of course I want to be your wife and have your children. But I also have a daughter that I have to take care of, a daughter who I love with all my heart and soul.”

  “I have plenty of money you know,” Sebastian sighed wearily, the fight easing out of him as he stared at the tears streaming down Ani’s face. “I’m not just a lobsterman like my father Ani, I sell my paintings too.”

  “I don’t care if you have money, and I love that you’re a lobsterman like your father,” Ani sobbed, pressing her lips against Sebastian’s. “I would be happy living in this apartment with you forever. I don’t need anything else for me.”

  “But you do want more for Raffi don’t you?” Sebastian whispered against Ani’s lips.

  “It’s not about what I want for Raffi, Bast,” Ani murmured. “She has a certain life already and it’s a life that her father wants to provide for her. I take money from Jordan for Raffi, not for me or us.”

  “And what about our children?” Sebastian murmured wearily. “Will you spend his money on them too?”

  “Of course not,” Ani sighed, pressing her forehead against Sebastian’s.

  “I probably have more fucking money than he does,” Sebastian muttered.

  “You probably do,” Ani agreed with an exasperated laugh.

  “I could pay for Raffi’s school and everything that she needs if you lived with me,” Sebastian mumbled.

  “It’s not your job to Bast, he’s her father,” Ani replied gently.

  “Well I know my fucking dick is a hell of a lot bigger than his,” Sebastian mumbled before he dropped back onto the bed and finally collapsed.

  “Much bigger,” Ani whispered, stretching out beside Sebastian and resting her head against his chest tenderly.

  ……………………………………………

  “He lives!” Ani called out affectionately when Sebastian walked into the loft the next day.

  “Barely,” Sebastian admitted with a grin. His eyes were shaded behind dark sunglasses and he was holding a paper cup of black coffee in his hand.

  “You look a bit green,” Siobhan called out cheerfully from the couch where she was painting her toenails again.

  Sebastian waited until Raffi’s back was turned and then he gave Siobhan the finger in response, and walked over to the kitchen.

  “Hi,” he said softly, pulling Ani into his arms and pressing her against his chest tightly.

  “I love you,” she whispered in response, lifting her head up and kissing him gently.

  “Sorry I passed out last night,” he murmured. “What time did you leave?”

  “Not until three this morning,” Ani replied, resting her head against Sebastian’s chest. “I didn’t want to go at all, but I had to get back for Sunday brunch.”

  “I know,” Sebastian murmured against her hair.

  “Sebastian, you missed brunch!” Raffi scolded with a pout. “I had a Belgian waffle with nutella, bananas and strawberries!” she announced with delight.

  “Yum,” Sebastian replied weakly as his stomach churned at the thought.

  Ani laughed and kissed him softly. “Want a shot of tequila in that coffee?” She grinned.

  “Evil wench,” Sebastian muttered, swatting Ani on the rear as she pulled out of his arms. “So what are we doing today?” He stuck his head into the sink and drank from the faucet.

  “I can’t believe you just did that!” Raffi squealed as Sebastian stuck his whole head in and soaked it.

  “Headache,” he said ruefully, accepting a dishtowel from Ani.

  “Go lie down tequila boy,” Ani said, shaking her head at Sebastian and pushing him toward her room. “I’m going to go drop Raffi off at Jordan’s anyway.”

  “Already?” Sebastian asked, looking confused. “What time is it?”

  “Two thirty,” Ani replied with a grin.

  “Wow, I guess I really did miss brunch,” Sebastian murmured, pulling Ani against him and brushing his lips against hers. “Okay, I’m going to lie down now. Throw a bucket of ice water on me if I don’t wake up when you get back.” He grabbed a bag of peas out of the freezer and held it against his head as he walked off to Ani’s room.

  “Holy shit, how much did he drink last night?” Sawyer laughed as she watched Sebastian walk away.

  “Just a bottle of the Hectors’ finest Mexican tequila,” Ani replied with a grin.

  “Wow, it must have been some fight,” Sawyer whistled.

  “It wasn’t good,” Ani admitted softly, scooping up her car keys as Raffi walked into the kitchen with her backpack.

  “I’m ready,” she announced.

  “Let’s go peanut butter,” Ani said, ruffling her daughter’s hair and slipping an arm around her shoulder.

  “Where’s Bast?” Raffi asked. “I didn’t get to say good-bye.”

  “He went to lie down sweetpea; he has a migraine,” Ani replied, giving Sawyer and Siobhan the finger behind Raffi’s back as they laughingly suggested Raffi go yell good-bye to him.

  “He’s probably hungry, you should make him a tuna fish sandwich before you go,” Sawyer suggested as they walked out the door.

  “Leave him alone Soy,” Ani warned before she closed the door behind them. “Remember payback is not sweet. You don’t want to be on the other side of this coin if you abuse him.”

  The trip back to the brownstone only took a few minutes and Jordan was waiting at the door for them when they arrived.

  “There’s my girl!” he called as they pulled up and Raffi ran into his arms.

  “Daddy,” she cried, giving him a big hug.

  “I missed you this weekend,” Jordan murmured, holding Raffi against his chest tightly and gazing at Ani over her head.

  “Everything go ok?” he asked quietly.

  “All good,” Ani replied, holding his gaze thoughtfully. He seemed different but she couldn’t put her finger on what the difference was.

  “Is Alex having dinner with us tonight?” Raffi asked her father innocently as he scooped up her backup.

  “She is,” Jordan murmured quietly, avoiding Ani’s gaze as he turned to go inside.

  “Alex?” Ani called after Jordan teasingly.

  “She’s a new resident at the hospital,” Jordan replied, turning back to Ani.

  “That’s nice,” she said softly. “I’m happy for you.”

  “It’s just been a few dates,” he admitted, looking uncomfortable.

  “I’m glad Jordan,” Ani assured him as Raffi went inside and left them alone on the steps.

  “I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life Ani,” Jordan said quietly.

  “I don’t want you to be,” Ani agreed.

  “Our divorce will be final in a little over a month,” Jordan murmured, gazing at Ani sadly.

  “Yes,” Ani whispered, staring back at him.

  “I always thought it would be you,” Jordan admitted, running his fingers through his thick hair.

  “Me what?” Ani asked softly.

  “I always thought you would be the one I would grow old with. I even have a picture in my mind of what you’ll look like,” Jordan confessed hoarsely.

  “When I’m old and grey?” Ani asked tenderly.

  “Yeah,” Jordan laughed ruefully. “And it’s strange trying to adjust that image in my mind to fit someone else.”

  “I’m g
lad you met someone,” Ani murmured.

  “We’ll see,” Jordan shrugged. “She’s a young resident with stars in her eyes for the top neurosurgeon. Wait until she finds out I can’t cook and I snore.”

  “I’m really sorry about everything Jordan,” Ani whispered, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder helplessly.

  “At least I won’t have to fight a ghost for her love,” Jordan replied quietly, turning away from Ani’s hand and walking into the brownstone.

  When Ani returned to the loft, Sawyer and Siobhan were gone and Sebastian was still passed on her bed.

  “Hey there,” she whispered softly, stretching out beside Sebastian and snuggling on his chest.

  “Hey,” Sebastian replied, blinking at Ani and startling awake as he always did.

  “How do you feel?” Ani asked gently.

  “Like I drank a bottle of Mexican tequila last night and had a big fight with my woman,” Sebstian replied with a wry grin.

  “The house is two thousand dollars a week, four thousand for the two weeks,” Ani said softly, tracing her fingers gently over the teardrop tattoos under Sebastian’s eyes.

  “Hand me my jeans,” Sebastian murmured, motioning to the pile on the floor where he’d dumped his clothes before climbing into bed.

  Ani grabbed his jeans off the floor and passed them to him silently and Sebastian stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills.

  “Four thousand,” he said, counting out hundreds onto the bed and handing Ani the stack of cash.

  “You were walking around with four thousand dollars in cash stuffed into your jeans pocket?” she said incredulously.

  “Actually, I brought five thousand,” Sebastian murmured. “I didn’t know how much the house was since you refused to tell me initially.”

  “Which paintings did you sell?” Ani asked softly, gathering up the money and sticking it in a shoebox under the bed.

  “A few you’ve never seen,” Sebastian replied, his eyes flickering with traces of last night’s anger.

  “What was the subject matter?” Ani persisted quietly.

  “Why do you want to know?” Sebastian asked curiously.

  “I saw some of your sketches when I was at your apartment last night,” Ani admitted. “They were incredible.”

  “The prison yard,” Sebastian murmured with a far-away look in his eyes.

  “Are those the ones you sold?” Ani asked softly.

  “Yes,” Sebastian replied, holding Ani’s gaze with an unreadable expression in his deep green eyes.

  “Who did you sell them too?” she whispered.

  “A gallery,” Sebastian replied, his eyes still unreadable.

  “Are you still angry with me?” Ani asked softly.

  “Not really,” Sebastian whispered, pulling her into his arms and pressing his lips into her hair.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you yesterday,” Ani choked against Sebastian’s chest.

  “I’m sorry I ran away from you,” Sebastian murmured.

  “Why did you?” Ani asked, lifting wet eyes up to stare at Sebastian.

  “I was so angry at you A,” Sebastian sighed. “I was spoiling for a serious fight with some serious yelling and Raffi was there so I just took off. I knew I couldn’t stick around and let it go.”

  “But you turned off your phone too, when you asked me never to do that,” Ani reminded Sebastian as she blinked back tears.

  “I wanted to hurt you,” Sebastian admitted, “But mostly I just didn’t want to feel anything, which is why I drank the bottle of tequila,” he confessed with a regretful grin.

  “So do we have a no disappearing policy or not?” Ani asked softly, tracing her name on Sebastian’s neck with her lips.

  “We have a no disappearing policy,” Sebastian confirmed huskily, drawing in his breath as Ani continued to kiss her way down his body.

  “Are we over our fight?” Ani whispered, lifting her head up to meet Sebastian’s eyes as her mouth hovered over his waist.

  “Definitely,” he murmured back, giving Ani’s head a gentle push down toward his crotch with a husky laugh.

  “You’re sure,” Ani teased, pulling him out of his underwear and running her tongue over the swollen head of his hard dick. “Cause we can talk about it some more….” she offered with a devilish grin.

  “No more talking vixen,” Sebastian murmured, closing his eyes and sighing with pleasure as Ani took him in her mouth.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The two weeks that Ani and Sebastian spent together in Maine were exactly what they needed. The house was beautiful and secluded, and although it wasn’t Ireland, even Sebastian had to admit that Monhegan Island was stunningly beautiful and the forests were magical. They spent their days walking through the forests and exploring the island, and their nights wrapped in each other’s arms around the outdoor firepit, and snuggled under a blanket on the porch swing.

  “These last two weeks have ruined me forever,” Ani sighed, leaning against Sebastian as they stood on the porch drinking their morning coffee and staring out at the sea together. “I’ll never be able to go back to my early mornings at the bakery.”

  “I’d never be able to get out of bed before dawn and meet my dad at the docks if you were still in my bed warming it every morning,” Sebastian admitted huskily, kissing Ani’s neck below her ear.

  “I love when you kiss that spot,” Ani said dreamily, sighing in contentment as Sebastian wrapped his arms around her waist and continued to trail kisses down the side of her neck.

  “I love you so much Bast,” she whispered, turning around in his arms and wrapping her arms around his neck.

  “I love you too a rún mo chroí,” Sebastian whispered back, staring at Ani with his heart in his eyes.

  “This is it, back to reality tonight,” Ani sighed.

  “But you’re still all mine for the rest of the day,” Sebastian reminded Ani with a devilish grin as he swooped her up and carried her over to the porch.

  “On the porch?” Ani laughed when Sebastian set her down and spread out the blanket that was draped over the swing.

  “I promised you I would make love to you on every surface of the house when we arrived,” Sebastian murmured to Ani as he pulled her down on to the blanket. “I think this is the only spot we haven’t christened yet.” He slid Ani’s sundress down over her shoulders.

  When Ani and Sebastian returned from Maine, there were only a few weeks left of summer and Raffi was anxious to make them last. She wanted to go to every local carnival and 4-H fair in a 50-mile radius, have sleepovers with her friends every night, and never go to bed before midnight.

  “She’s killing me Maria,” Ani moaned to Remmi’s wife as she helped her carry platters of tamales out to the backyard. Maria was a beautiful young woman, the same age as Ani, with long gorgeous dark hair and striking Aztec features. Her petite, curvy frame showed no sign of the four kids that she’d birthed in the last six years since Remmi had gotten out. Bast loved to tease both Remmi and Maria that she’d been pregnant since the day Remmi had gotten out of prison.

  “Making up for lost time mijo,” Remmi always replied, giving Bast a meaningful nudge.

  Maria and Remmi lived in a small house in East Boston with their four kids, Maria’s grandmother and two of Remmi’s little brothers.

  “You should send Raffi over here,” Maria laughed, shoving a pitcher of lemonade aside to make room for the tamales. “I’ll keep her busy watching the baby and chasing after the boys.” Maria’s four kids ranged from age five years old to nine months, and they were all boys, which thrilled Remmi and exasperated Maria. She’d put her foot down when it came to naming them though, and even though she allowed their first name to go down on the birth certificate as Hector, they were known by their middle names, Guillermo, who they mostly called little G, Francisco, who they called Frankie, Carlos, who they called Carlito, and Angel, who was anything but.

  “I should send her here,” Ani murmur
ed with a laugh. “She’s getting old enough to start mother’s helping. When I was her age, I had my own babysitting club and I charged two dollars an hour to mother’s help.”

  “Yeah, she had a babysitting sign and everything,” Sebastian interjected with a grin. “The part she’s leaving out though, is that no one in the neighborhood would hire her because they knew about all of the times she’d tried to get rid of her little sister.”

  “It was all a misunderstanding,” Ani protested with a laugh. “I only tried to give Sawyer away three times, I just got a bad rap!”

  “You’re like the Hectors,” Maria said, rolling her eyes. “According to my husband, they’re all misunderstood too.”

  “That’s right mama, you know what I’m talking about now right baby?” Remmi said, flashing a grin at Ani as he chugged his Corona and squeezed his wife’s ass when she passed.

  It was always bittersweet for Ani when they got together with Remmi and Maria, partly because it was the only glimpse into Sebastian’s years away from her that she ever got. The man who had come back to her after fifteen years in prison was a man of secrets. He told her very little about his years inside, and the bits and pieces that she did discover came mostly from Remmi sharing a story with her, or an exchange between the two men that she caught out of the corner of her eye. There was an easiness between Maria and Remmi that didn’t exist between Ani and Sebastian. It was an easiness born from familiarity and understanding, and Ani envied it.

  Remmi and Maria had also been teenage sweethearts. She grew up in a rural village in Mexico and crossed the border illegally into Texas when she was fifteen. She ended up in Boston because she had a cousin there and he let her stay with him and found her a sewing job in a bridal shop. She met Remmi waiting for a bus in the pouring rain. They huddled together under Remmi’s hoody, which he held over them like an umbrella, and they fell in love after that first day. Unlike Ani and Sebastian though, Maria and Remmi only had a year together before Remmi went to prison, but the years that Remmi spent away were not a mystery to Maria. She had shared them with him through visits and letters. She sent care packages and talked to him on the phone. Ani and Sebastian had the familiarity and ease of a shared childhood, but they knew little about the years that had shaped each of them into adults.