Nerdgasm (Naughty Nerds)

by Kimberly Reese

  I don’t even have time to be embarrassed because Addy surprises me when her smile widens at my faltering words. “That has got to be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “My st-stutter?” God, I’m hopeless around this girl.

  “Yes, I love it. Can I have your phone, please?” I wordlessly hand it over, and she adds herself as a contact. “I’ll text you my address. I can’t wait to see you, and I really can’t wait to hear that cute stutter again.”

  My lips part in shock, and she gives me a naughty wink as she moves to leave. She maneuvers herself so the distance between us is almost nonexistent, and her body is just shy of brushing against mine as she walks past. When her body is parallel to mine, her hand reaches up again to give my bicep a squeeze, and she leans over to whisper in my ear.

  “We’ll have to pick up where we left off on Saturday. Until then, hot stuff.” A quick kiss on my cheek follows that parting comment, and I’m left with a hardening dick and red cheeks as she glides away.

  I think Demi was right. Screw the pool; I’m going to need a cold shower.

  Five

  Addy

  “Hey, sorry I’m late. I brought sustenance, if that makes it better.”

  I slide the glass doors to the study room shut and move to take a seat in front of my best friend, Camryn.

  “It does, thanks. I was starting to get hangry. Give up the goods!”

  “I have a deliciously bad snack and a healthy option, if you’re so inclined. What’s your poison?”

  “Are you serious right now?” Camryn’s deadpan expression has me breaking out in laughter. “Do you not know me at all?”

  “I was kidding, you little junk food whore,” I tell her affectionately. “You better share. I’m not really craving anything healthy either.”

  Camryn groans once she sees what I’ve brought. “You bitch, you know the way to my heart.” Her harsh words are offset by the smile on her face. “Salted caramel brownie brittle is my favorite.”

  “I know. Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

  “Yeah, you’re contributing to my waistline.”

  “Oh, stop. You’re gorgeous.” And she is. She’s short and full-figured, and she rocks the hell out of her curves. She has me wishing my metabolism would slow down so I can have a little more padding. “I don’t want to hear otherwise, and I know Gio would agree with me.”

  Giuseppe, affectionately known as Gio, is her long-term boyfriend, and he can’t get enough of her body. She must see the wisdom in my words because she just gives a soft smile and reaches for another piece. We sit and eat in silence for a few moments, both of us enjoying our greatest guilty pleasure, before my intuitive bestie gets right to the point.

  “So, who’s the guy?”

  My hand pauses as it reaches for another piece of the good stuff. “What guy?”

  “Oh, come on. You’re annoyingly punctual; being late isn’t your MO. Spill the deets, girlfriend.”

  “Fine. He’s the TA in my mythology class.”

  “The mythology class with Wilder?” She leans forward, her eyes wide with interest.

  “That’s the one.”

  “Time. Out.” Her hands make the signal to match her words. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about him. Is Wilder as smokin’ hot as everyone says he is? I swear, every girl I talk to knows someone who knows someone who has seen him, but you’re the first person I know who’s actually seen him.”

  “He’s hotter than the rumors, Camryn,” I admit, and she gasps in surprise. “It’s not fair how sexy the guy is, but he isn’t my personal cup of tea. He just seems really, for lack of a better word, intense.”

  “I need to walk you to class one day so I can see this for myself. You said he’s hotter than the rumors?” I nod in answer. “Damn.” She shakes her head in disbelief before getting the conversation back on track. “Okay, so his TA must be something special to catch your attention when you’re being taught by a man who’s basically a walking orgasm.”

  “Theo, well, there’s just something about him I’m super drawn to. I just met the guy, so my interactions with him have been super limited, but he’s already a refreshing change from the guys I’m usually into. He’s this adorkably sweet combination of nerdy and shy, but he’s got this insanely hot swimmer’s body he doesn’t flaunt. He’s like the boy next door who got hot but doesn’t know it.”

  I give her a description of what he looks like, and she fans her face.

  “He’s smart, wears glasses, and has the body of Michael Phelps? So, he’s basically an aquatic Clark Kent?”

  “Basically.”

  “You sure he’s not one of those hipster types? You know, the kind of guy who wears non-prescription lenses and manages to look homeless-chic? Or does he wear suspenders and pocket protectors? I’ve got it!” Her eyes twinkle with excitement as she leans in. “If you were to cast him in one of those teen movies we loved in the early 2000s, which table would he sit at?”

  I snort at the image her words have conjured, but I know exactly what she’s talking about. I take a moment to figure out where he’d fit in.

  “He’d be the quiet guy who sat by himself, or he’d have a few close friends he’d spend time with. I’m telling you, he doesn’t give off any hipster vibes. His glasses look legit—like thick lenses and slight squinting when he took them off legit. He also seems a little reserved, which makes we want to break him out of his shell. And I know I said he seemed nerdy, but stop stereotyping to that degree. We aren’t casting for a teen movie with cliques, so regardless of what table he’d sit at, he’s just hot. So hot,” I emphasize.

  “Ugh! I guess I need to meet him, too. He sounds like a living, breathing nerdgasm.”

  An incredulous laugh bursts forth at her words. “I’m sorry, but what?”

  “A nerdgasm! It’s like having an orgasm from his nerdiness, which is fitting since it sounds like he’s a nerdy wet dream.”

  I shake my head at her words. “That actually kind of makes sense. Nerdgasm,” I huff out on another laugh.

  “And you just met him today?”

  “Yeah, I literally ran into him before class.” I cringe as I remember slamming into him and running away. I relay the story to Camryn, who just laughs at me. “I was formally introduced to him after class, and then I saw him on the way here. He was studying, and I couldn’t help but walk over and say hi. He’s taking me out on Saturday,” I admit, and I can’t stop the excitement from creeping into my voice.

  “You asked him out, didn’t you?”

  “Of course I did. It’s the 21st-century, and he isn’t like other guys I’ve dated. I like that he’s shy, but I decided to help him out and give him a little push.”

  “I wish I was as forward as you,” she says, envy evident in her voice.

  “You can be, you just need to put yourself out there. I know Gio would love it if you took control every once in awhile.” I raise my eyebrows and shimmy my shoulders, and she throws an eraser at me.

  “I’ll think about it, you perv. So, where are you guys going on Saturday?”

  “I’m not sure. I told him I’d leave that up to him. I have a feeling he’ll surprise me, and I’m really looking forward to it.”

  “I am, too. I expect a full rundown of this date. It’s been too long since you’ve hit the dating scene, what with focusing on school and all, and he sounds like a really nice guy. You need nice.”

  I think of some of the guys I dated when I first started college and grimace. Yeah, they were good-looking, but they were total frat guys who were more into the party scene than they were into me. “I’m excited to see what happens.”

  “Samesies, girlfriend. Now,” she claps her hands together and dusts the brownie brittle crumbs from her fingers. “Let’s get to studying. We’d better get caught up so you don’t have to worry about this scholastic shit on your date.”

  “You got it.” I chuckle.

  We pull up our assignments and get to work, and I smile th
e entire time because I’ve got Theo and our date on Saturday on my mind.

  THEO

  “Demi!” I shout as I fling the door to our apartment open. “I need help!”

  The door slams shut behind me as I throw my bag on the ground, kick off my shoes, and dash inside. I’ve only taken a few steps when I see Demi rushing into view from the kitchen, wielding the spatula in her grasp like a weapon.

  “What?!” she shouts, concern dominating her tone. “What’s wrong?”

  “I have a date on Saturday.”

  “You have a date? On Saturday?” Her voice trails off as realization, surprise, and then elation dawn on her face. “Oh, my God! You have a date! On Saturday! With who? Wait.” She holds up her hand, halting me just as I’m about to answer. “It’s with Addy, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. You were right.”

  “Ah, music to my ears. I’m so excited for you, Theo!”

  “I’m n-not! I don’t date. I need h-help. See!” I gesture to myself, referencing how my nerves are showing in my stutter.

  “I get it, you’re nervous. It’s going to be okay, though. Come over here, and tell me how this all came about. Start at the beginning, please.”

  I take a seat at one of our barstools looking into the kitchen and launch into my run-in with Addy at the library while Demi cooks dinner.

  “And that’s it,” I say as I wrap up my story. “Now I’m here, and I have no clue what to do. I don’t date often, Demi.”

  “I like this girl. She’s forward, and I can dig that.” She contemplates her next words as she serves us both a plate of pasta and garlic bread. “I know you don’t date, Theo, but you’re about to start.” She smiles at me over a forkful of food. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, though.”

  “Why not?” The worry starts to set in in earnest now. I haven’t been on a date in years, and I don’t want to mess things up.

  “I’m sure you’ve got some great ideas floating around in that head of yours, you just need to find them. My only piece of advice is this: do something where you can get to know each other, and make it thoughtful. I’m by no means an expert since I’ve only been on a few dates myself, but don’t be so afraid of stuttering that you clam up. And don’t go see a movie, ‘cause that’s a cop-out date!”

  She points menacingly at me with her fork, and I hold up my hands in assent.

  “Okay, no movie. Stop using our cutlery as weapons,” I joke. “What...” I start, and the words are hard to get out. “What if she kisses me?”

  “Then you kiss her back. Duh.”

  “I know that, but…” I feel my cheeks burn, and I realize I’ve blushed more today than I have in my entire lifetime. “What if I’m a bad kisser?” I whisper in embarrassment.

  Demi and I were each other’s first kiss as kids—chalk it up to curiosity and wanting to get it out of the way with someone comfortable and familiar—but we both have very limited experience kissing the opposite sex now that we’re adults. While she’s gone on a handful of dates, I haven’t had a girlfriend since high school. Even then, we weren’t together very long because she was more interested in trying to change me to fit in, so it’s not like I’ve had a lot of practice kissing.

  Demi doesn’t answer right away, and she takes a moment to think as she looks at me.

  “I don’t think you could be,” she simply says. “Granted, we were only little kids when we kissed that one time, and I don’t have a lot of experience outside of that.” She shoots me a mischievous smile, and it immediately puts me at ease. “But I swear I’m not just trying to ease your mind. A few guys kissed me on dates before, and they were terrible.” She shudders at the memory. “Too much tongue or spit or not enough effort trying to find out how you should kiss together. In general, you’re really good at taking your time, so just try and do that with kissing. There’s no need to rush. Besides, you have really nice lips.” She blushes at her words. “Ew, I can’t believe I just said that. But don’t take that the wrong way, okay?” she warns threateningly.

  I smile at her words and can’t help but tease her. “You’ve got really nice lips too, Demi.” She really does, but I can tell she doesn’t believe me.

  She groans into her hands, and it’s clear she’s the one who’s embarrassed now. “Okay, moving on. I’ll be your sounding board. What ideas do you have for Saturday? Let’s wow this girl.”

  We spend the next hour brainstorming ideas, and I feel confidence slowly replace my anxiety. By the time I finally crawl into bed and start to drift off to sleep, I’ve got a smile on my face. Only one more day and a wake up until Saturday.

  Six

  Theo

  It’s finally Saturday, which means it’s the day I finally get to take Addy out. I may have only met her a couple days ago, but the anticipation over today has made time pass slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. I have less than two hours until I have to pick her up, and it feels like this last stretch of time is moving backward. I busy myself by making sure I’ve got what I need for our date, and I feel intense relief that it’s beautiful out. The sun is out, the sky is clear, and the forecast shows today’s high will peak at an above average temperature for this time of year. It may be out of the norm, but I’ll take it in hopes it bodes well for how things will go today.

  My cell chimes with an incoming text, so I check the screen and see Addy asking me what type of clothing she should wear. I reply honestly and advise her to wear something comfortable. A moment passes, and she texts me her address. I text back saying I’ll see her soon, and then I blink in surprise to see that she doesn’t live too far from me; it’s easily a ten minute drive or less. Double checking the time, I hop in the shower to clean up. Once I’m out and looking through my closet, I realize I’m not sure what I should wear. Following the advice I gave her to dress comfortably, I grab one of my favorite pairs of worn jeans, a solid blue t-shirt in Superman blue, and a red flannel, long-sleeved shirt in a material that’s light enough to not stifle me but thick enough to add warmth should I need it.

  I’m rolling up the sleeves of the flannel as I walk out of my bedroom when I see Demi. She’s camped out on the couch with a chunky knit blanket and her ereader. She turns in my direction when she hears me, and she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

  “Lookin’ good, Theo! I like the comfy casual look you’ve got going on.” She gestures in a circular motion in my direction, and I look down at myself as I turn around in a circle.

  “Are you sure? Should I change?”

  “No,” she scoffs. “For what you have planned today, that’s perfect. You look great, but you don’t look like you spent longer getting ready than a girl would, and you also don’t look like someone who didn’t put in any effort. I promise, you hit a really good balance.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “As you should.” She tosses her blanket over her legs and makes her way over. Once she’s in front of me, she reaches out and grabs the collar of my shirt. As she refolds and fixes it, she gives me her pep talk. “Remember, just be yourself. If you stutter, it’s no big deal. She already thinks it’s adorable, which it is. If you want to kiss her, you’ll know when the time is right. And if you need me to bail you out, call me.”

  I feel a smirk forming at her words. “I thought only women did that emergency phone call thing on dates.”

  “Yeah, well, you never know. You might need it, but I have a feeling that won’t be the case. You’re going to have a great time, and so is she.”

  “Thanks, Demi.” She walks me to the door, and the nerves start to kick in full force as I’m lacing up my Chucks. “I hope she likes what we planned and doesn’t think it’s lame.”

  “She’ll love it,” she reassures me. “If she doesn’t, she isn’t worth your time. If she’s not into it, you already know I’ll go in her place. You’re my bestie, and I’ll always have your back.”

  I smile my gratitude and pull her in for a hug before I step
out the door. “Same to you. Thanks again for all your help, Demi. I’ll see you later tonight.”

  Surprise rolls through me when I feel her slap my ass just as I’m stepping over the threshold. “Go get ‘em, tiger. I can’t wait to hear all the details. Have fun!”

  We’re both laughing when I hear the door shut behind me, and I head to my car with a spring in my step, the nerves held temporarily at bay.

  The short drive is over before I completely mentally prepare myself, and my pre-date jitters are back in full force. I don’t even realize I’m holding my breath until it suddenly leaves my lungs in a rush once Addy answers the door of the townhouse she shares with her friends.

  She’s effortlessly beautiful, and her blinding smile makes my heart kick in my chest. I give her a onceover to make sure she’s dressed comfortably, and a grin breaks across my face when I glimpse a pair of Chucks that match mine. My eyes track upward, and I notice the shorts she’s wearing showcase her long legs to perfection. Hope and relief wash over me when I realize she’s wearing a The Walking Dead t-shirt; without meaning to, she’s unknowingly made it so she’ll fit right in on our date.

  “You l-look great.”

  “Thanks, Clark Kent. So do you.”

  Did this girl just make a Superman reference to me? Score. My excitement ratchets up at the small possibility that she might be a closet nerd.

  “Thank you. You ready to go?”

  “Yep! I’m all yours, hot stuff. What are you going to do with me now that you’ve got me?”

  She closes the door behind her and locks up, and I’m thankful she can’t see the blush I’m sure is painting my cheeks.

  “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  She turns back to look at me, and her eyes are glittering with curiosity. “Oh, so it’s a surprise? I seriously love surprises.” She moves toward me, and I’m pleasantly surprised when she reaches over and wraps her hand around my arm as we walk to my car. Her body heat seeps into me, and the gentle pressure she’s placing on my bicep is making it a little difficult to think.