Last Merge (Wine of the Gods Book 34)

by Pam Uphoff

  His young/old Lady showed up early two days later. She frowned around the shop. "I don't believe this. With what you can do you wind up like this?"

  "This is the start, not the finish." Eldon protested. "You were the first rich customer I could find. I don't suppose you'd like to bring your friends along? I could give you a discount on our magic skin tightening cream."

  He wound up giving her a percentage.

  "Just don't over do it. Don't get noticed."

  ***

  "I'm going to go to Texas."

  Eldon looked around at Heso. Arms crossed. Stubborn expression.

  Damn. Who'd have figured Heso'd turn into a lovesick idiot? And no point in arguing with him.

  Eldon shrugged. "You're crazy, but what the heck. So long as you don't kill anyone, or get yourself killed, you can escape from jail. Or I'll come rescue you, if I see you in the news."

  "I can rescue myself . . . and I'll keep a low profile." Heso glanced at his computer. "As soon as I figure out how to buy a plane ticket."

  Get yourself noticed . . . "Hey, didn't we buy a sports car? I only drove it twice." Eldon looked out the window. "Yeah, it's still there. Why don't you drive to Texas?"

  Heso grinned. "Excellent plan. I'll start packing."

  Judging by how much he took, he was planning on staying as long as he could.

  So what? I don't need help in the shop. I don't even need to open the shop, at the rate the old lady is raking in the sales.

  ***

  "We all want to talk to you. So I'll send my car tomorrow night at nine."

  Eldon bit his lip, then nodded. His team wasn't playing and he could tape the Toronto San Francisco game. He'd made a hell of a lot of money off the old gal's friends. So maybe he ought to go listen to them. However many of them there were.

  How indiscreet has the old lady been? She's going to get herself into tons of trouble.

  The kids hadn't killed themselves yet, so he sat and studied the fizzy blue again. He was getting so he could see patterns, like branches in a braided stream. Separate then together, crossing splitting . . . was he looking at it as it was now or was this like one of Nil's graphs, with time as one axis? That way is the past and that way the future . . . and that weird little world with the golden tornadoes is just zooming across, banking like a skier around other worlds. Weird.

  He took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the real world.

  Glanced at the sun and grimaced. Guess I'd better shower and shave for this "talk to you."

  It turned out to be one of those formal cocktail we're-not-talking-business-just-checking-you-out-as-a-possible-partner sort of things.

  Except when he laughed at the thought of these conventional businessmen turning into wholesale magic potion salesmen. Then they got a bit rude.

  "What part of illegal, unlicensed, and untested do I need to explain? Of course you don't believe me when I say it's magic. But this isn't something you can mass manufacture. And I doubt you guys have any Black Market connections for selling beauty products. Forget it."

  One of the formerly bald men leaned in, as if he were trying to be intimidating. "We can make you rich. Do you really like that grubby little shop? We can get you a mansion like this." He waved at the big-enough-for-five-families heap of stone. The squiggly shaped swimming pool with two fake waterfalls and three Jacuzzis jutting out here and there.

  Eldon looked around at all the cold calculating eyes. Remembered the laughing college kids calling him to come and see what they'd done . . .

  "Not interested. Thanks awfully for inviting me to your party . . . "

  "Eldon, you're a wanted criminal. One phone call away from finding yourself behind bars." So much for the nice old lady . . . not that he'd actually ever considered her nice . . .

  He grinned and shook his head. "Police don't worry me." So long as they aren't the Disco variety.

  "Eldon, you'd better reconsider." One of the other men, this one now with wavy brunette locks.

  Eldon loomed. And he was tall enough, muscular enough, and ugly enough to pull it off effortlessly. "Walk away. Enjoy your second youth, your head of hair, your energy. Otherwise I'll be forced to completely humiliate you." He turned to demonstrate how "walk away" worked . . .

  "The Feds want you really badly. You'll never see a court of law. You'll just disappear and they'll dissect you."

  Humiliation coming up!

  Eldon warped light and stepped around to the outdoor bar. A bit of the wine of the gods added to every drink as the blank faced barman poured . . . he had to refill his flask four times . . . The noise level was rising, looks were being exchanged.

  Huh, pretty good self control these old businessmen and women.

  He swiped a bottle of brandy, anointed it and poured it into the pool.

  Not as good as hotsprings, but . . .

  An invisible nudge and Mr. Bigshot was stumbling into his old lady and they landed in one of the jacuzzis. Tittering from a pack of old ladies . . . who found themselves staggering back into the group of former baldies . . .

  The party had a lot more women than men so the barman and the catering staff were getting some really hungry looks . . .

  Eldon left them to their fast developing orgy and walked out to the silly fountain in the front of the building, and added wine to it.

  Hesitated . . . Damn it, what if one of those idiots drowns?

  He turned back and joined the party. Had a bit of wine himself, and started throwing around some animal transformations, putting them on lightly, so they'd fade in less than an hour. His little black stallion morph was as popular as always. The cat was fun too, until he fell in the pool. Wet cats are just not sexy.

  The neighbors called the cops. The first responders were both good looking men. Lucky to get out alive. Eldon sobered himself up, hunted down his clothes, and left about the time the third round of cops arrived. He eyed the blowing mist from the fountain . . . Right, not one of my brighter ideas. Remember to not dope up fountains next time.

  He kept the radio turned off for the drive, and watched the tape of the game. Much more fun than partying with the snobs.

  The hungover chauffeur showed up at noon for the car. "Madam does not want to ever see you again."

  Eldon gave him a quick cure and the keys. "Yeah, hangovers are a pain. I hope no one got arrested."

  "Not yet. You missed the snotty neighbors coming over, and getting pulled into the fountain. I will cherish it, secretly, for all my remaining years."

  "Ah, right." Eldon wondered a bit about all of what he'd put in the drinks. The spells. Shrugged.

  Most likely everything has already worn off.

  ***

  "There must have been a gas or something." Donahue was as spiffy as always, and his sympathetic expression was well dosed with cynical enjoyment at the downfall of every single possible competitor for the next Captain's slot.

  Phil nodded, then shut his eyes in pain. "I tried to get Sergeant Michaels out of the fountain, next thing you know I'm partying like a teenager. Has the lab come up with anything?"

  "Nope. All those blood samples register at 1.2; well-lit and better not drive. Not life-of-the-party to falling-down-drunk like you all apparently appeared to be."

  Phil gazed blearily across the vice squad's domain. It was amazingly quiet. Thank God. He drank more coke and tried to focus on what was on his desk. "Any luck yesterday with the stake out?"

  "Nope. Our friendly neighborhood Whore killer must have been out at your party."

  "If anyone there had any sexual hang-ups, they were hiding them very, very well."

  Donahue choked on a snicker. "I heard you walked out with a glass of wine, and when Brenard got you home, you split it between him and your wife."

  "Was it wine? May have been water from that damned fountain. I hope he had sense not to swallow it."

  "So . . . how many of those Teenagers did you . . . get friendly with?"

  "I was, thank god, a late com
er. They were all starting to pass out about the time I got there." Thank god, else I'd be divorced by next week. Even though Jessie said she was going to get me drunk more often, in the future.

  He winced as crisp footsteps echoed off the wall. Sergeant Jolly. Ugg. "Lieutenant Farley? The Chief wants to speak to you."

  "Right." He shoved back from the desk and stood, and followed Jolie out and then up the stairs. Jolly had gained his nickname not for his actual name but for the cheery Santa Claus expression he never seemed to be able to overcome. An expression further from his personality was hard to imagine.

  The Chief eyed him and shook his head. "If you hadn't been in sight of the patrol cars' incident cameras the whole time, I'd be reaming your ass. As it is, I'm ignoring a case of the Blue Flu that would bring tears of joy to the eyes of a Union organizer. Lieutenant Donahue is the senior detective that is free of this . . . stain. He is going to be investigating this new intoxicant, and you are going to find the fellow that killed those two pros, assuming the similarities weren't just a coincidence, and we have someone with a bad kind of desire for blue-eyed blondes in red dresses."

  Phil nodded. "I doubt the razor work could possibly be two different perps. Thank you sir. Will Brenard be assigned to the murder investigation as well?"

  The Chief's eyebrows contracted painfully. "If he's well enough for street duty. His call, but don't let him get too macho."

  "Yes, Sir." Phil took the Chief's wave as dismissal. Donahue was at his own desk, keying a report into the computer.

  "Hey, Lucky Boy. Guess who gets to interview a bunch of hungover people today. Congratulations. By virtue of your absence last night, you are the only clean handed cop around."

  Donahue sat back with an exasperated sigh. "And who, pray tell is going to sit nursing his fading hangover at the most likely pickup spot? I'll shoot everything over to your machine. I don't like to extrapolate between two points, but the two murders were both within a day of the full Moon, thirty days apart. Full Moon is tomorrow, so I was going to be especially alert the next three nights."

  "I'm mostly up-to-date on the case. Both women were, umm, independent contractors, picking up men in singles bars, not walking the streets."

  "Right. Most of the places could spot them, didn't mind so long as there was nothing obvious about it. I've been circulating, warning women . . . they won't listen, though. They never do." He pulled out a map. "Last definite sighting of the first victim was at the Top Hat, second, leaving the Good Times. There are eight other places about the same in a five block area."

  "No wonder you wanted more people. Tonight's going to be iffy, for warm bodies in working order." Phil winced.

  "And we're not allowed to go around taking down license plates or photographing men leaving in a blonde woman's company." Donahue flashed his teeth. "But I'll be out there with you, after I tackle your hungover drinking buddies."

  Phil winced and ambled back to his desk, and tried to concentrate on the reports instead of his head. He got out his own map and marked the likely area, the last seen locations, and then he plotted the spots the body was found. No big surprise. A vacant lot and an alley, both in areas that were all business and light industrial, virtually deserted at night. He blocked out several similar areas from memory, roughly the same distance away. He decided to give his head another couple of hours, then he'd drive the area, updating map and memories.

  Brenard came in whistling at his usual hour, and shook his head sadly at the Phil. "You should have stuck to that swamp water you forced down me. I feel great."

  "Excellent. You can drive. Donahue's on the case of the mystery intoxicant. We're on the pro killer."

  Bernard growled. "Ought to be Homicide's case, and we all know it. Lazy bums are just too backed up and will do us the favor of giving us this case. Ha! Two might make a pissed off pimp taking out the competition likely. Especially since they're so close geographically. It's going to take more to convince me we're looking at a serial murderer."

  "Me too, and that's no doubt the reason Homicide is leaving it to us. The thing is . . . There's not a hooker hangout in the area. 'Everyone knows' where to go for hookers. These are upscale pickup bars. Who's going to be upset about a few women making money off a few guys, here?"

  "No one. It's not like the world depends on it."

  Chapter Thirteen

  The worst has been averted

  One World, Directorate of External Relations

  14 Ramadan 1404 yp

  Presidential Director Urfa sat in on the meeting at the External's Research Subdirectorate.

  Dr. Wrla Withione was the Subdirector of Research. The usual High Oner snob, but a highly intelligent one, and a good manager of his department, from everything Urfa had heard.

  His staff doing the reporting and presenting their projections were all glowing with relief. "After two close and one distant encounter, the course of the Helios multiverse should stay completely out of merge range. We're calculating that the percent chance that Helios will come close enough to merge with the One World has dropped down to four point six four."

  The Subdirector of Intel nodded. "The Helaos are definitely discussing the pros and cons of merging with the Dinosaur World. But they don't seem worried that they might spontaneously merge. So that gives us something to go by, in assessing the future risk to other worlds."

  Wrla nodded. "Oh yes. The One World is well out of merge range. Although we don't know exactly from how far away they can force a merge. That they've dropped us from consideration is a very good sign."

  "The Dinosaur World will be the next close encounter. We will be monitoring constantly to see how its course changes as they near, and with-or-without Q’s work, the Miniverse should be deflected further from our world."

  Director of External Relations Ajki Withione Black Point spoke for the first time. "If the Helaos do not force a merge with the Dino World, it will deflect toward Primitive World 65480. And what, beyond that?"

  "Several X Worlds. Several Empty Worlds. Ocean and Castle Peak are in that general direction, but well off the projected path. All the rest of our colonies are in other directions altogether." Wrlw shrugged. "Q is of the opinion that the Miniverse's slow tumble should have it so out of sync that it cannot merge for another twenty or thirty years."

  The Intel subdirector nodded. "As I reported last winter, we've gotten bugs into some critical areas, and are now monitoring their scientists' results. The Helios scientists' conclusion, that their world will miss the Dino World and that they could choose to merge with the sparsely inhabited Primitive World, remains unchanged, as of our last intercept of a report to their ArcHelaos. We are monitoring around the clock."

  Urfa shifted. "The Helaos know there are enough humans there on the Primitive World to merge with them. The question is, will they be satisfied with the natives or give it a pass.

  "Or move. We know they have a working gate. If they can move to another world, no problem, so long as it isn't ours. But we need to also consider worse options. That rather than move to a wilderness, they'll pick a world with an existing civilization they can take over."

  Urfa hid a grin as Ajki's glare failed to stop his nephew, a very experienced field agent from speaking. Ajha had been the expert on Comet Fall, and was fast becoming one of the top experts on Helios.

  "Given their small surviving population, a small colony world of ours or Earth's would be ideal. Powered high tech infrastructure, but a small population they can easily dominate. We need to keep an eye out for that."

  A nod from the President. "Have you discussed that with Disco?"

  Ajki nodded. "Yes. Q says she can see where powered gates go . . . if it happens when she's watching. And she said she's too busy to watch regularly. She said she'd be putting her understudies to work putting up all the gates to the Dinosaur World sometime in the next week. From there, she said she ought to notice their gates even when she's busy."

  Urfa nodded. "With an unfortunate lack of communicat
ion between Intel and Exploration, we've got a science expedition on the Dinosaur World. We'll give them another week , then evacuate them well ahead of any possible merge. We'll let them return after the encounter."

  ***

  President Orde put on his relaxed public persona for this speech. Waved and smiled for the cams and applause as he walked to the podium. Brief standard greeting, then he got down to the difficult part. "As you know, we've been studying the Helios—the Cannibal World—for two years now. We gave out very few details, partly because they're very difficult to study, and so far, to infiltrate.

  "The main reason, though, for the careful release of information, was because it was heading in our direction." For some extradimensional definition of direction. "Now that we have a longer baseline and can predict their course with reasonable confidence, and an understanding of the merge phenomenon," an uneasy stir through the crowd, "we can definitely say that they will not come close enough to force a merge with the One World. So we'll be releasing a lot more information about them."

  A storm of noise. He let it run until it narrowed down to a few loud questions.

  "We've known they were coming this direction since a few months after their merge with the Electronics Age Earth. But with four other worlds between them and us, and not understanding how a fast-wandering miniature Universe is affected by nearby full sized Universes, nor what causes or influences the merge, we felt it best to keep the information close to avoid panic while we both studied them and began some early preparations."

  A wry smile. "Yes, that is when we rushed approval of the suburb worlds. In addition we've been prepping additional potential colonies as quickly as possible. No longer necessary, I'm delighted to say."

  He cleared his throat. "There will be lots of opportunities for anyone wishing to colonize a new world opening up soon.

  "However, to brief you on the entire Helios situation, let me start with a quick history of what we've done so far."