Love to Hate You

by Liliana Rhodes

  “Who does he think he is? After all this time, after stalking me like some crazy person, who thinks he does? I mean who does he think he is?”

  Dennis waved to the waitress and made a motion in the air like he was signing something. It caught me completely off guard and suddenly I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever seen.

  I started laughing. First they were small giggles, but the more I thought about Dennis signing the air, the funnier it seemed to me.

  “You’re drunk,” he said. “As soon as I get the bill, we’re leaving.”

  “No! No no no,” I said. “He’s right there. I have to say something to him. Oh maybe I’ll throw a drink in his face. I always wanted to do that.”

  “No, I’m not going to let you do that. You’ll regret that in the morning. I’m taking you home before you embarrass yourself.”

  “Fine,” I said.

  I looked at my phone again. It was on and it looked like it was working, but I had my doubts. Maybe the line was messed up. Maybe he tried calling and it didn’t go through.

  With my margarita courage, I tapped Brent’s contact information. I looked up at him at the bar again, then back at his number. I wasn't drunk enough to call him, but I was drunk enough to text him.

  Jackie: Thanks for tonight, asshole.

  Staring at the sarcastic words on the screen was sobering. I didn’t press send. I didn’t see the point in it.

  Dennis reached across the table and roughly grabbed my arm then pulled me past the table. My phone fumbled in my hands until it dropped to the floor. As I picked it up, the phone buzzed letting me know the message was sent.

  Crap! Oh well, it could have been worse.

  Dennis put his hand on my back and led me out of the bar and into the crisp night air.

  I tossed my phone into my bag and buried it underneath my wallet. I wasn't going to check it again for the rest of the night. Out of sight, out of mind.

  Before I knew it I was back home and crawling fully dressed into my bed. For a brief moment I felt bad about Dennis sleeping on the couch, but it quickly left my mind. I hoped the whole day would too.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Brent

  The airplane jerked as it touched ground at Canyon Cove Airport. I never liked flying on a holiday and flying on Christmas Eve reminded me why. Gunnar and I switched our phones off airplane mode and checked for any new email. My phone blinked as it registered a voicemail from Sam.

  “Are you seeing your family tonight?” Gunnar asked.

  “No, not until tomorrow,” I said. “I actually have a date tonight.”

  “On Christmas Eve?”

  “I’ve waited long enough. I even invited her to go to Geneva for the conference.”

  “What? And ruin our bromantic time together?” he asked, grinning.

  “Gimme a break. When we weren’t at the conference you were out fucking anything in a skirt.”

  “What can I say? I like skirts. You need to loosen up more.”

  “I’m loose enough already,” I said. “Are you heading back to New York?”

  “I’ll be around for the next couple of days. An old friend of mine opened a new bar downtown last week and I did a little viral thing for him to get the business going. I’m hanging around to make sure everything goes well for him. If you and Jackie are downtown, stop on by.”

  After we got off the plane, Gunnar ran into a flight attendant he met up with regularly. I didn’t wait for an introduction, I couldn’t keep up with Gunnar’s many female friends. I left him and got into the black Town Car that was waiting for me. As the car exited the airport, I called Sam back.

  “Hey,” she said, answering the phone. “I’ve been worried about you. Drake said you’d be back yesterday.”

  “Is everything alright?” I asked. “Did something happen to Shade?”

  “He’s fine. He’s been sleeping in the baby’s room every night. I don’t think he’s going to want to go home with you,” she said with a laugh. “I was just worried because you didn’t call.”

  “Sorry, it was the trip from Hell,” I said. “Flights leaving Geneva were delayed because of a storm, then we missed our connecting flight. They need more connecting flights to Canyon Cove.”

  “Why didn’t you charter a private jet?” she asked.

  “You know how I feel about that,” I said.

  “Yes, I know. Right about now is when Drake would call you a do-gooder.”

  I laughed. “Hey, do you think you could do me a favor? Can Shade stay with you for just one more night?”

  I looked at the time and realized I needed to head straight to Jackie’s to pick her up for our date.

  “Sure, that’s no problem,” she said. “But why? You usually pick him up right away.”

  “I have some things I need to do before the Boone Christmas party,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t probe any further.

  I didn’t want to tell Sam about my date with Jackie and since she didn’t mention it, I assumed Jackie hadn’t told her either. We had enough pressure from her the past couple of months, we didn’t need it on our date.

  “Oh? You’re going? I didn’t think that was your kind of thing,” she said.

  I muted the phone and gave the driver Jackie’s address, then went back to the call.

  “I don’t know, I thought it would be nice. Xander and I know most of the same people, plus you and Drake will be there, right?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “I’ll see you later then,” I said.

  Several minutes later the driver turned off the freeway. Jackie’s building was at the end of a block with a mixture of stores and apartments. It was a nice area just outside downtown Canyon Cove that had seen a lot of growth in the past couple of years.

  The Mini I bought Jackie was parked on the street, not far from where I found her cursing her old car just a couple months ago. I grinned as I thought about her cursing at her old car to start. Running into her that day was no accident, but it was one of the little things I couldn’t tell her about. It was better that she thought that every time we ran into each other was a coincidence, not something I planned.

  As I walked up the cement steps to the second floor, I caught the smell of a cigarette burning. Leaning against Jackie’s door was a man with messy hair and a bright orange and yellow striped shirt. I didn’t need anyone to tell me this was Dennis.

  I didn’t know what to think about seeing him there. I couldn’t forget what he told me on the phone after the wedding, but it didn’t sound like the Jackie I knew. My instincts said she was mine, but what if I was wrong?

  Dennis blew a long stream of smoke out, then tossed the cigarette onto the floor as he watched me approach. I wanted to punch him, and after what Reg told me I probably should have. But I knew Jackie wouldn’t approve.

  “Oh hey,” he said, his mouth twitching. “Brent, right?”

  “Is she inside?” I asked, reaching for the doorknob.

  “No, she went out.”

  “Out?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  I pushed the door open and caught a glimpse of her small apartment before he slammed the door shut.

  “Yes, out,” he said. “I told you she likes to fuck with men. You didn’t really think she was going on a date with you, did you? She told me she didn't want to see you anymore.”

  I stared at Dennis and felt my fists clench as I gritted my teeth.

  I was done. Whatever the truth was didn’t matter. What I knew for sure was that Dennis was living there. Dennis was answering her phone. Dennis treated her like shit and she allowed it. It wasn’t my fight to win for her. Things were too complicated.

  “You win,” I said.

  I turned around and walked back down the steps to the waiting car. It was too much. Was she with him? Wasn’t she? None of it mattered anymore.

  * * *

  I didn’t know how long I had been at the bar with Gunnar and I didn’t care. Gunnar’s flight attendant frien
d was sitting at a table with several other women. Despite our friendship, I was surprised he wasn’t spending his time with them.

  “Come on, Brent, let’s just sit down,” Gunnar said. “You can’t stand here all night.”

  “I don’t want to sit,” I said. “You don't need to babysit me, you can join your friends.”

  “No, they’re not friends like you. You know the bro code, you never leave a man while he’s down,” he said. “I’m still surprised you didn’t punch that fucker though.”

  I shrugged. “There was no point in it. She wasn’t home. Whether he was telling the truth about her or not, he didn’t lie about that.”

  “Maybe she forgot. We were away for a week. Why didn’t you call her?”

  “She told me she’d either be working or studying for finals,” I said. “Add in the time zone difference and I didn’t want to bother her.”

  “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. You’re a pussy.”

  “I’m not in the mood,” I said. “Can’t you be serious for once?”

  “This from the man who used to always say life was too short to be serious.”

  I sighed, annoyed at Gunnar and pissed off at myself. My cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked at it and saw a text.

  Jackie: Thanks for tonight, asshole.

  Yup, asshole. She got that right, I thought.

  As I put my phone away, something familiar caught my eye. I turned around to see what it was and recognized the orange and yellow striped shirt from earlier.

  Dennis, that fucking dick.

  He was walking through the main room of the bar with his hand on the small of Jackie’s back.

  I elbowed Gunnar and he turned around.

  “Guess there’s my answer right there,” I said. “He’s her boyfriend.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jackie

  I twisted my hair around and then flipped it through an elastic band as I left my bedroom. The bathroom door was open while Dennis looked at himself in the mirror. I grabbed the blanket hanging over the back of the couch as I turned on the TV with the remote control and dropped onto the couch.

  “What are you doing?” Dennis asked. “Aren’t you coming with me?”

  “Out with your friends on New Year’s Eve? No, that’s just weird. I’ll feel out of place.”

  “What are you talking about? You know everyone and they love you. You can’t spend New Year’s Eve by yourself.”

  “I’m not,” I said. “There will be Ryan Seacrest and millions of people watching with me.”

  “Get dressed, Jackie,” he said. “Either I’m staying here or you’re coming with me.”

  “You know that’s not fair,” I said as I got up and turned off the TV. “You know I’d never be able to handle the guilt if you stayed home.”

  “I know, now hurry up. You know I hate being late.”

  * * *

  We joined Dennis’s friends at a new restaurant in the South End of Canyon Cove. As we entered I spotted Becca rubbing her arms as she looked around. I didn’t see anyone else with her.

  “Oh hey, there’s Becca,” I said. “I’m going to say hi.”

  Dennis didn’t reply, nod his head or anything. I was going to repeat myself, but then I remembered that was how he was. It was my biggest pet peeve about him when we were dating and now as friends, that hadn’t changed.

  I squeezed through the crowd waiting to be seated until I reached Becca.

  “Oh my god, Jackie,” she said. “How are you?”

  Becca hugged me tightly and I hugged her back.

  “What was that for?” I asked with a laugh.

  “You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I hate waiting in crowded places by myself.”

  “I don’t blame you,” I said. “The only thing worse than that is being with a bunch of people and feeling alone.”

  “Right?” she said with a laugh. “Oh wait, are you here with a group? Because they don’t sound like much fun.”

  “They’re alright, I’m probably just being a little sensitive or something. I didn’t want to go out tonight.”

  “New Years Eve is a crazy night to go out,” she said. “I can’t believe I let him convince me.”

  “Oh? Him? Is this someone you’ll need to give us details on at Mirabella’s?” I teased.

  “Oh no, absolutely no. It’s just Gideon. You guys tease me about him enough.”

  “Right, Gideon, the sexy, single architect who just so happens to be your very good friend.”

  She laughed. “Don’t start. We are friends.”

  “Sure, sure. You know if you’re friends now you just might be perfect together as a couple,” I said.

  Becca rolled her eyes and scrunched up her freckled nose.

  “What about you and Mr. Best Man billionaire?” she asked.

  “Okay, okay, I’ll drop the Gideon stuff as long as you don’t mention Brent ever again. Deal?”

  “Deal,” she said.

  Becca’s eyes moved towards the door and her face lit up. I turned around and saw an attractive, lanky male in his twenties. He ran his fingers through his sandy-colored hair as he looked around. When his eyes found Becca, he winked and grinned devilishly before heading towards us.

  If we hadn’t just made a deal, I would have busted her chops so bad. There was no way these two were just friends, at least not for long.

  “Enjoy your night,” I said. “I should get back to my friends before they order without me.”

  In just the few minutes I spent talking to Becca, Dennis and his friends had been seated. I found their table, but they forgot to tell the hostess their group now had an extra person. As I went to sit in the empty seat, Dennis stood up and waved to me.

  “Jackie, over here,” he called out.

  He grabbed a waitress as she was walking by and motioned to the table and then to me. She called a bus boy, who moved another table over and put down a place setting for me.

  As I sat down next to Dennis, he smiled at me then turned and leaned towards his friends. I moved a little closer, trying to hear the conversation, but the restaurant was too loud and I was too far away.

  The waiter came and brought everyone drinks, except me. Had I been talking to Becca that long? Before he walked away, he came over and stood in front of me as he placed his tray underneath his arm.

  “Hi, I’m Trevor,” he said. “Would you like to order a drink while you wait?”

  He pointed to the empty chair in front of me. I felt so out of sorts that I wasn’t sure what he was asking. Did he think I was there alone?

  “I’m with them,” I said.

  Trevor looked over at the group who were laughing at something Dennis said, then shrugged.

  “What can I get you?” he asked.

  Dennis’s friends cheered loudly as they did a round of shots.

  “A margarita on the rocks, no salt,” I said. “And a glass of water.”

  I nursed my margarita as the night went on. No one spoke to me, but who could? The restaurant was too loud. Still, I blamed Dennis because he pushed me to go out with them and to sit next to him at the end of the table, away from everyone else.

  Trevor the waiter was filling my glass of water when the woman sitting across from Dennis leaned across the table towards me. She had bright blue eyes and short platinum blonde hair that stood out from her caramel skin so much, she reminded me of a candle. Earlier I thought I heard someone called her Penny.

  “Dennis said you’re a waitress,” Penny said. “Bet you’re glad you’re not working tonight. What restaurant do you work at?”

  Dennis turned and answered before I could speak.

  “Jackie thinks she’s too good to work in a restaurant,” he said.

  “That’s not true,” I said. “I just prefer events.”

  I bit my tongue before I ended up blowing up at him. I hated when he answered for me and I knew what was coming next.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said. “Either way, it’
s not a real job. It’s what someone does when they can’t do anything else.”

  “Oh? Then maybe you should find somewhere else to stay.”

  “Boy, you’re sensitive tonight,” he said. “Maybe you should have stayed home.” Dennis turned back towards his friends. “I saved her from sitting around in her shitty apartment.”

  “My shitty apartment? The one I can’t get you out of?”

  I waited for him to say something, anything, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t hear me. He was yucking it up with his friends again.

  Not wanting to hear what else Dennis had to say, I sat back in my seat and waited for the dinner to end. I would have gone home if I could, but on New Year’s Eve I knew I’d never be able to get a cab.

  Maybe I was being sensitive, but if I was it was only because I was done putting up with Dennis.

  Sitting by myself at a table for nine wasn’t the worst. If anything it was something I had grown used to when we dated. Whenever we were out with someone else Dennis always made me the butt of his jokes and he found ways to put me down. None of it was very obvious and I doubted that anyone ever noticed, but it was something I could count on whenever we were out with other people. Dennis liked being the center of attention.

  My meal was good and the waiter was very attentive with me, but not with the rest of the table. It made me feel even more like I was eating alone. There were a few times when I caught the waiter looking in my direction and he’d quickly look away.

  He felt bad for me. I could see it in his eyes. It made me feel even worse. If a stranger felt bad for me, why didn’t someone I had a relationship with for four years not notice how he was treating me? Maybe he just didn’t care.

  I didn’t have any lingering feelings for Dennis, but I always thought we were friends. Maybe I was wrong. How else could I explain that sitting at a table with eight other people made me feel even more alone? I should’ve stayed at home.