The Phobia of Renegade X

by Chelsea M. Campbell

  “What’s going on?” Kat asks when I get back to my bed and pick up my phone. “Are you fighting with Zach?”

  “Not exactly.” I pace across the room, sticking to the path with the floorboards that creak the least.

  “Damien, you love Zach.”

  “I don’t— I do not love Zach.”

  “Yes, you do. You guys never even disagree on anything, and now he won’t come over? What the hell happened?”

  “You want to know what happened?” I glance over my shoulder at the wall to Amelia’s room, as if I’ll be able to tell whether or not she can hear me. I keep my voice low. “I found condoms. Zach has condoms in his room.”

  “Wow. That’s… Okay, that’s kind of a surprise, but, I mean, so do you.”

  “I know that, but I’m not planning to use them with my sister.” I hesitate, hearing how that sounds. “You know what I mean.”

  “Damien, you set them up. What did you think was going to happen?”

  “I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. And it’s Amelia—I figured they’d break up way before this.” What with her sparkling personality and all.

  “Well, whether it was with him or someone else, it was going to happen eventually.”

  “It hasn’t happened yet. She doesn’t even know he has them.”

  “Then why do you sound like the crazy parent in an after-school special?”

  “Because. It’s weird to think of them like that. They’re supposed to stay innocent.”

  She snorts. “Yeah, right. Listen, Damien, I have to go soon, but I wanted to ask you something first. You remember my friend June? You met her at my dorm a couple months ago.”

  “Yeah, of course I remember.” Kat had a bunch of friends over, and we all played Monopoly, and then June told me about how her mom had been abducted and tortured by the League. She said her mom cried when she saw me in that broadcast for the Truth, and she thanked me for speaking out for villain rights.

  “She started a villain rights group here at Vilmore. Because of you. What you did really inspired her.” Kat pauses, waiting for me to say something to that.

  “Oh.”

  “Damien, this was really hard for her. You know what happened to her mom, right? June doesn’t talk about it much, or at least she didn’t. Now she’s telling everybody what happened, so other people like her won’t feel so alone. It’s not just about villain rights—it’s kind of a support group for everyone who’s gone through something like she and her mom did. It’s a big deal, and she wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for you.”

  “Okay.” I know I’m supposed to feel happy about that. I’m supposed to feel like I’ve done a good thing, inspiring June to help people. But I don’t feel anything. “Good for her?”

  Kat sighs. “June wants you to come speak at one of their meetings. It would really mean a lot to her.”

  I swallow. “Kat, I… I don’t do that anymore.”

  “It wouldn’t be for the Truth. This has nothing to do with them. It’s just about villain rights, and you still believe in that, right?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Then I don’t see the problem.”

  “I don’t want to speak. I mean, not in public.” That sounds like just about the worst thing right now. Second only to going on missions again.

  “It’s not really that public,” Kat says. “June said her group has about twenty people in it, but if you’re going to speak, she thinks more like fifty will show up.”

  It’s not that many. I mean, I’ve done stuff way more public than that. But even though it’s only fifty people, it feels like it would be the whole world watching. Because it would be. Someone would have their phone out, recording the whole thing. Probably more than one person. There’d be another video of me online, telling everyone what I think. Cold dread creeps up my spine and fills my stomach. “Kat, I… I can’t.”

  “What? What do you mean, you can’t? They meet every week. You can figure out a time that works for you.”

  “You know that’s not it.”

  “Damien.”

  “I told the world my opinion, when I was a spokesperson for the Truth. And look how that turned out.”

  “Uh, yeah, villains are finally being heard.”

  “The whole city’s messed up because of me. A lot of people almost died. Helen’s statue got taken out of the Heroes’ Walk. The League kind of fell apart, and… Okay, I was never pro League or anything.” I pretty much hated them, even before I found out how they really treat villains. “And they’re the ones who lied to everyone and did all those bad things. I just helped bring it all to light. But… all this upheaval still feels like my fault. Everyone hates me for it. And Gordon’s not in the League anymore, because of me. And Riley got seriously hurt. He’s my best friend, and the League almost killed him. He wanted to join up with them his whole life, but one glimpse of him with me…” I trail off.

  Kat’s quiet for a second, taking all that in. Then she says, “That doesn’t mean you didn’t do the right thing.”

  I shake my head, even though she can’t see me through the phone. When I speak, my voice is tight. “I don’t know anymore. How could it have been the right thing if all those bad things happened because of it?”

  “Bad things were already happening—people just didn’t know about them. Now at least things have a chance to change.”

  I don’t say anything to that.

  “Damien, I’m worried about you. You’re fighting with Zach, and you just want to blend in at Prom? And you don’t want to speak to a private group about villain rights? Even if what you did caused some upheaval and people are upset about it, June’s group isn’t. They’re not hating on you—they think you’re awesome.”

  “Is it so bad if I just want to lay low for a change? I don’t always have to be in the spotlight. And maybe June’s group thinks I’m awesome, but that doesn’t mean that they should. I lied to everyone. I didn’t mean to, and I didn’t know I was doing it. But Grandpa told me what to say, and I said it, and I believed in it. Because of that, people listened to me, and they really shouldn’t have, because it almost got them killed. Maybe standing up for villain rights and making my opinions public was technically the ‘right’ thing to do, but it feels like it just ruined everything for everyone I care about, and it put a lot of people in danger. So, tell June I’m sorry, but I’m done with that.”

  “But, Damien—”

  “I’m sorry, Kat.” I really am. “But I just can’t do it.”

  Chapter 4

  “WE’RE THINKING OF THAT Italian place on Fifth,” Riley says, “but so is everyone else, so we have to make a reservation.” He’s talking about where we’re going to eat dinner before Prom.

  It’s Friday morning, before class. There’s a table set up in the lunchroom, where they’re handing out schedules for the first-year superpower tests we’re taking today. Me and Riley are waiting in line, except nobody wants to stand near me, so there’s a gap before and after us. “I don’t know, Perkins. Spaghetti sauce and formal wear don’t exactly mix.”

  “Sarah told me that Kat told her that you told Kat that you’re not sure if you’re coming. So, are you?”

  “Am I what?” I lean out past the line for a second, to see how far we have. There are about a dozen people still ahead of us.

  “Are you and Kat coming to dinner? Because I need to know if the reservation should be for two people or four.”

  “Not six?”

  “Zach and Amelia are going with some of her friends. He’s still pissed at us. Well, mostly at you.”

  I’m not exactly Amelia’s favorite person right now, either. “We’ll be there. And… make the reservation for six. Just in case.”

  “All right, I— Wait.” He narrows his eyes at me. “What are you going to wear?”

  “Not swim trunks, if that’s what you’re thinking.” I roll my eyes at him. The line moves forward a little.

  “Okay, good, because—”

&nb
sp; “I thought I’d just go with, like, a fig leaf this time.”

  “What? X, you can’t show up naked.”

  “Uh, yeah, I know. What do you think the fig leaf’s for? And, yes, I will be dressed like that for dinner.”

  He’s gaping at me, studying my face. “You’re not serious.”

  “I’m still having trouble getting the fig leaf to stay in place, but that’s okay, because Kat’s going to be wearing practically the same thing, so I think it’s safe to say that everyone will be focused on her, not me. So if my leaf slips…”

  “X.” His face goes pale. “You… you can’t do that! It’s against school rules, and the restaurant won’t even let you in, so—”

  “Relax, Perkins. I was joking. I’ll be wearing a tux.”

  “You will?”

  “Yeah, don’t worry—you can be seen in public with me.” Just not without getting his picture taken and ending up on half a dozen websites, but that’s nothing new.

  “Good.” He exhales, then frowns. “But… why?”

  “Why what? Why am I going to be wearing clothes to Prom?” We move up in line again. It’s almost our turn.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “No, I don’t. I don’t see what the problem is with me wearing a tux. Because, for one thing, I look hot in one. And, for another, it’s what everybody else will be wearing.”

  “Yeah, but that’s what I mean. That doesn’t really sound like you.”

  “You want me to show up naked?”

  He scowls. “You can still wear clothes without coming dressed like everybody else.”

  “Did Kat tell you to say that?”

  He shakes his head. “I haven’t talked to her.”

  The line moves up again. It’s Riley’s turn. He goes up to the table where a second-year student is handing out the schedules and tells her his name. After he’s done, I do the same thing.

  “Damien Locke.”

  The girl at the table obviously recognizes who I am, because instead of flipping through her stack of files, she glances up real quick, her eyes wide. Then she looks back down, trying to pretend nothing happened. “Here,” she says, her voice shaking a little as she hands me my schedule slip.

  Except she’s so nervous, she accidentally gives me two of them. I give the second one back without looking at it. “This isn’t mine.”

  “It has your name on it.” She hands it back to me, then calls for the next person to step up.

  Riley’s waiting for me off to the side. “My test’s at ten fifteen. When’s yours?”

  I don’t answer him. I’m too busy staring in horror at the schedule slips. Because they really do both have my name on them. One’s for my lightning test, scheduled for this morning, and one’s for flying, scheduled for this afternoon.

  I feel sick.

  “What’s wrong?” Riley asks.

  “It’s nothing. They made a mistake.”

  He peers over my shoulder. “That doesn’t look like a mistake.”

  “Well, it is.” It has to be. “I don’t fly.”

  “X…”

  “Don’t say it.”

  “If you don’t pass your superpower test, you don’t move on to second year.”

  I hold up the slip for lightning. “I will pass my superpower test.”

  “But… both of them?” He looks worried.

  Almost as worried as I feel. “I’m not taking both of them. I told you, it’s a mistake.”

  He opens his mouth to say something, then hesitates.

  “Don’t worry, Perkins. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

  “We’re doing fieldwork again next year. We’re supposed to work together.”

  “I know. Stop talking like I’m not going to be there.”

  “You have two powers. It makes sense that they’d want to test both.”

  “But I only use one of them. And nobody else has to take two tests.”

  The first bell rings, signaling that we have five minutes to get to class. Neither of us moves.

  “I don’t think it works like that,” Riley says.

  “Who cares if I can fly or not? My lightning’s the one that matters.” After all, I’ve never accidentally blown anything up with my flying power. “I’m going to go to the office and get this straightened out.”

  Riley tilts his head, like he thinks I’m fooling myself. “You have to be here next year, X.”

  “I know. I will be. This flying test thing is just a mistake. You’ll see.”

  It’s not a mistake.

  At least, that’s what the woman in the office said when I asked her to double-check for me. Twice. She must not have realized who I was at first, because she seemed concerned that there really had been a mistake, since no one has two powers. But then after she looked me up, she said, “Oh, you’re that student,” and told me I had to pass both tests if I didn’t want to repeat my first year at Heroesworth.

  Which I do not.

  Especially not if Riley’s moving on to second year, which of course he is, because all he had to do was turn invisible. And if I thought I was going to be left behind before when everyone else graduates, I really will be if I get stuck repeating a year. Which is pretty much the only reason I show up for my flying test.

  I try to tell myself on the way there that maybe it won’t be so bad. I can get off the ground—I’ve done it several times now. Maybe all they’ll want is to see that I can fly, if I really need to. That’s totally different than having to actually be skilled. I already passed my lightning test earlier, and… okay, it wasn’t, like, super simple or anything, but lightning’s way more complicated than flying. Maybe there’s a chance I can do this.

  But when I get there, it’s so much worse than I thought.

  For one thing, there’s another student still taking his test, and he’s obviously really good at it. He’s flying through freaking hoops that are hanging from the ceiling in the gym, and doing all sorts of twists and turns that make the test look like some elaborate dance routine. I don’t know if that just means he’s on the flying team—the way Amelia describes it, it’s like synchronized swimming, only in the air—or if I’m supposed to do that, too. Either way? Not happening. And I’ve only ever flown straight up and down before. It’s kind of a big deal that I can do it on command at all, but having to fly through hoops?

  And that’s not even the worst part. Besides this being, like, the worst act to have to follow, I also recognize the guy administering the test. I recognize him from the family Christmas party Gordon dragged me to, because he’s Gordon’s older brother, Ted. Technically, that makes him my uncle, but it feels weird to think of him like that when he pretty much hates my guts. He told Gordon he didn’t want me at the Christmas party—that no one did—and then there was sort of an eggnog incident involving one of his douchey sons. I mean, Amelia was the one who threw eggnog on Nolan, not me, but I was also this close to getting into a fistfight with him, so it’s not like I wasn’t involved. Though, for the record, I’m not the one who started it.

  But Ted’s made it clear that he thinks I’m complete devil spawn and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near him or his precious kids. And here he is, the guy the school’s brought in to give me my stupid flying test, which I already know I can’t pass but that will determine my entire future.

  He hasn’t noticed me yet. I should just walk out of here before he—

  Ted looks over and scowls at me, then motions for me to come closer.

  Okay. This is happening. I can do this. All I have to do is suddenly not be afraid of heights and have spent months practicing flying. That’s all. I just have to be so good at it that even my uncle who wishes I was never born will see that I deserve to pass. Yep.

  The guy currently taking the test spins through the last hoop and then somersaults in the air before making a perfect landing on the floor, like one of those gymnasts at the Olympics.

  Ted smiles at him. “Great job, Sam!”

  Sam grins. “Did I pass?�
��

  Ted laughs and claps him on the shoulder. “The Golden City Annual Flying Competition’s next month. I’ll be there with several of my top flying students. You should consider signing up. I can hear it now—Will Sam Baskin come down to the winner’s circle?”

  “You really think I’m good enough?” Sam’s eyes go wide, and he even gasps a little as he says that, as if him being good at this is news.

  I stop myself from rolling my eyes. Okay, I don’t stop myself, but I make sure Sam’s not actually looking when I do.

  “I think you’ve got some real skills. You should do this professionally.”

  You know who should not do this professionally? Or, like, ever?

  Sam says something like, “Gosh, me, really?” a couple more times before finally leaving the gym, all beaming and starry eyed, and then Ted looks over at me like I’m the scum of the earth. “Damien.”

  “Ted.”

  “It’s Mr. Tines.” He holds up his clipboard. “Should I just fail you now, or are you going to pretend you can do this?”

  “I can fly.”

  He raises an eyebrow.

  “I can.” Just not very well.

  “It’s a basic test. Touch the ceiling, fly through the hoops in a zigzag pattern, and then do a controlled landing. Don’t touch the hoops, or I take off points.”

  So basic. I look up at the ceiling. The hoops are all at different heights and angles, and they’re all so far up. Just thinking about going up there makes my stomach drop and my legs get shaky.

  Ted clenches his jaw. “Don’t think you’re getting special treatment, just because you’re Gordon’s son.”

  Is he serious? “You mean, you wanting to fail me the second I walked in here doesn’t count as special treatment?”

  He glares at me. “You’re used to skating by in the world because of who your father is—”

  I laugh.

  “—but that’s not happening here. This is a hero test, and we both know a villain like you can’t pass it.”

  I hate that he’s right. I mean, the reason I can’t do this has nothing to do with being a villain. But… I don’t even know why I showed up here. What the hell was I thinking?