Heartland

by Julie Cannon

  “Don’t sell yourself short, Rachel.” Shivley put the tools back on their respective pegs. “You knew exactly what I was doing, sometimes even before I did. I’ve got you figured out.”

  “Do tell,” Rachel said leaning on the tractor.

  “You’re really a mechanic for a NASCAR driver and are masquerading as a political strategist.” Shivley gave Rachel her best cloak-and-dagger look.

  Rachel smiled. “Busted.”

  Shivley broke out in laughter. “If you wanted to lay low I would have thought you’d have picked something a little less controversial for your cover.”

  Rachel joined in Shivley’s amusement. “Well, I’m not known for my conservatism.”

  “What are you known for?” Shivley asked, wiping the remaining grease off her hands.

  “A little of this and a little of that,” Rachel answered evasively.

  Shivley frowned. She knew she had no reason to be, but she was hurt by the flippant answer. Rachel didn’t owe her any explanation, and Shivley certainly wasn’t one to throw the first stone.

  Over the years Rachel had mastered the art of vagueness to the point of perfection, keeping people from delving deeper into her life. She recognized that Shivley was hurt by the answer, and for the first time, it bothered her. Rachel decided to change that.

  “Actually, I spent a summer restoring an old car, everything from new windshield wipers to repairing the transmission.” The look of surprise and admiration on Shivley’s face gave her the confidence to continue. “I found that not only did I like it, I realized that I had a knack for anything mechanical. I’m probably the only person in my building that repairs their leaky faucet without calling 1-800-plumber.”

  “Well, aren’t you something? First you whip me in a horse race, you know how to mend a fence, and now you’re a seasoned mechanic. What are you going to be tomorrow, a rocket scientist?” Shivley was not just being polite, she really wanted to know.

  Rachel approached Shivley. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out. A girl’s gotta keep something mysterious up her sleeve, don’t you think?” She stopped just inches in front of Shivley.

  Shivley’s body reacted to the nearness of Rachel in the way she had quickly come to recognize in the past few days. Her mouth was suddenly dry, and swallowing became difficult. “I suppose,” she responded weakly.

  Rachel stepped closer and ran her fingers up the outside of Shivley’s forearm. “Do you want to know what I have up my sleeve, Rancher McCoy?”

  “You don’t have any sleeves, Ms. Stanton.” Rachel had removed her shirt earlier so as not to get it soiled from grease and was standing before her in a sleeveless T-shirt. Shivley was amazed that she was able to form a coherent thought, let alone have it cleverly and clearly come out of her mouth.

  “You’re much too literal, Rancher McCoy. Must be the CPA in you.” Rachel paused. “Let me rephrase the question. Since I don’t have sleeves, do you want to know what I have hiding inside my shirt?”

  Shivley’s eyes dropped to Rachel’s chest. “Is it a surprise?” God, what a stupid thing to say.

  Rachel turned her caress of Shivley’s arm from the outside to the soft, sensitive inside of her arm from elbow to wrist. “Do you like surprises?” Her nipples hardened under Shivley’s focused gaze.

  “Yes.” It came out more like a croak than a word.

  “Are you a patient woman?” Rachel asked.

  “No,” Shivley replied emphatically. She was overcome with desire and closed the distance between them. Rachel’s lips were as soft and warm as she remembered. Rachel’s arms came around her neck, and Shivley encircled her waist. Rachel pushed her pelvis into Shivley’s thigh together with a moan of desire, and Shivley smothered it with her kiss.

  Shivley slipped her thigh higher into Rachel’s crotch, sliding her hands under her damp T-shirt. She was instantly rewarded with warm, soft flesh that came alive under her fingertips. Rachel’s tongue slipped into her mouth and Shivley countered by sliding her hands up and down Rachel’s back. As Rachel devoured her mouth, Shivley explored taut stomach muscles, her hands quivering as she softly brushed the underside of full breasts, and when her thumbs lightly brushed tight nipples, Rachel bit her tongue.

  Shivley spun them both around, reversing their positions, pinning Rachel to the hard workbench. She dragged her mouth away, breathing heavily, and began kissing Rachel’s neck. Rachel inhaled sharply when Shivley ran her tongue down the side of her neck. Shivley placed passionate kisses along Rachel’s jawline and returned to her waiting lips. Rachel’s breasts fit perfectly in her hands.

  Rachel was smoldering and Shivley was the match. Shivley’s exploring hands were making her crazy, her nipples rock hard in Shivley’s palms. She couldn’t get enough of Shivley’s mouth and wanted her lips all over her body. A blast of air hit her exposed stomach and she shivered. Shivley started to pull away. “No, don’t stop.”

  Shivley had no intention of stopping and shifted her attention to the hot burning skin under her hands. She raised Rachel’s shirt and simultaneously lifted her onto the bench. Rachel’s breasts were in perfect alignment with her seeking mouth, and Rachel met her halfway.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Shivley nibbled greedily on the nipple in her mouth. She missed the feeling of a woman in her arms responding to her caresses, and she quickly forgot about everything except the taste of Rachel. She lifted Rachel’s shirt over her head and tossed it to the side, providing her clear access to Rachel’s other breast.

  “Oh God,” Rachel called out when Shivley’s tongue flicked over the sensitive surface. It was all she could do to remain upright as Shivley feasted on her warm flesh, traveling back and forth, and paying equal attention to both breasts.

  Shivley’s senses were filled with the taste, touch, and smell of Rachel, and she was desperate for her fill. She traced a path up Rachel’s long neck and captured lips that immediately opened under hers. Her hands circled behind Rachel’s back and dropped to her waistband. Rachel’s tongue snaked in and out of her mouth and her passion skyrocketed. Rachel pulled Shivley’s shirt, freeing it from her pants, and Rachel’s nails quickly followed the path of exposed flesh. Shivleye inhaled sharply as Rachel’s fingernails scratched her back. She shifted slightly, and her right hand drifted between Rachel’s legs.

  Rachel couldn’t remember ever wanting a woman’s mouth on her as much as she wanted Shivley’s. Her hands shook as she grasped the soft curls and pulled the lowering head to her. Wet lips met flesh, and an electric bolt of pleasure shot directly to her crotch. After a few moments her hands dropped behind her onto the hard surface, and she unconsciously lifted her hips and arched her back.

  Rachel broke away from the kiss at Shivley’s first touch. Through the thick inseam of her jeans, she felt the slow, sensuous stroking and her body responded immediately. Her panties were wet and it would not be long before they soaked through onto Shivley’s fingers. Just thinking about that sent another wave from her body. “God yes, Shivley, touch me.”

  The sound of Rachel’s voice broke through the haze of passion, and Shivley stopped her wandering mouth and hands. She breathed heavily into Rachel’s neck as she fought to regain control of her body and her mind. She was suddenly aware that Rachel was half dressed and that anyone could walk in on them at any moment, which brought her to her full senses.

  Rachel’s world stopped spinning and her mind began to focus. She had never been so aroused by so little foreplay. She was stunned to realize that she was on the edge of orgasm and would have crossed over in another minute or two if Shivley hadn’t stopped. Rachel’s body was wired tightly, but she was surprisingly relieved at the same time. She had had sex in stranger places, but she wanted the first time with Shivley to be something other than a fast fuck on a workbench.

  Rachel spoke first. “Jesus, please don’t tell me you’re sorry again.”

  Shivley swallowed twice to clear her throat. She sighed deeply before answering. “No, I’m not
, but I wish this was happening somewhere a little more private.” Shivley stepped away, forcing herself to not look at the naked breasts in front of her. She handed Rachel her shirt and turned around to pull herself together.

  Rachel’s hands shook as she turned her shirt right side out and pulled it over her head. “What did you say?” Her blood was pounding in her ears so loudly she wasn’t certain she’d heard Shivley’s response correctly.

  The rustling behind her ceased and Shivley cautiously turned around. It would not do her any good to be tempted with Rachel’s body again, and she was relieved to see Rachel fully clothed. Rachel’s hair was disheveled from Shivley’s hands and her lips were swollen from their kisses. “I can’t believe we were doing this out here where anyone could have walked in on us. I’m sorry. It could have been very awkward for you.”

  “But?” Rachel asked, picking up on her hesitation.

  “But nothing. We’re attracted to each other, and as you said earlier, two consenting adults.” Shivley kicked at the straw on the floor of the barn.

  “And?” Rachel didn’t want any confusion or morning-after regrets.

  “And I want to do it again.” Shivley pierced Rachel with eyes that clearly spoke her intent. “But not here.” She indicated their rough surroundings.

  Rachel was elated at the confession. There was no doubt that Shivley wanted her, and she knew neither one of them would be disappointed. “Your place or mine?”

  Shivley didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She was trying to move on with her life, and the first woman she was attracted to dropped a line on her. Your place or mine? Jesus Christ. She was saved from responding when Ann rang the dinner bell. Shivley had picked up the cast-iron bell in an antique shop with pure ornamental intent, but once the bell was hung, Ann immediately began using it, stating she was tired of hollering when meals were ready. The sound could be heard all over the grounds.

  Shivley jumped at the escape the distraction provided. “We should be going in. Ann hates it when we’re late and dinner gets cold.” Shivley took a few steps toward the barn door, hoping Rachel would follow.

  Rachel was puzzled at Shivley’s change of manner. One minute she was crawling all over her and admitting she wanted more, and the next she was distant, almost grateful for the interruption. Rachel was pissed. I don’t have time for this shit. She hated it when a woman either didn’t know what she wanted or was afraid to go after it. She had not misread Shivley. When the ranch owner kissed her, she knew exactly what she wanted.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Shivley walked across the yard and could feel Rachel’s eyes boring into her back with every step. Her heart was pounding, her mouth was dry, and her head was spinning. Her boots made soft crunching noises over the small rocks, and she felt like she was walking to the gallows. Walking away from Rachel was one of the hardest things she’d ever done, and the farther away she got from her, the colder reality became. She couldn’t simply have sex with Rachel. She would be leaving in a few days, and then what? Shivley was no prude, but the thought of a quickie, actually more of a short-term affair, didn’t seem right. Although sleeping with Rachel seemed to be uncomplicated on the surface, it was really more than it appeared.

  Shivley often talked to herself when she was struggling with a difficult situation. It made her think more clearly, and she definitely needed a clear head. “Jesus, Shivley, get a grip. You’re forty-two years old, not some teenager who can’t keep her pants zipped. You’re a respectable woman with a successful business. Fucking in the barn is simply not your style. You deserve better than that.” Shivley stepped onto the porch, hesitating before she reached for the doorknob. And Rachel does, too. And she’s leaving soon. The mere thought of Rachel’s imminent departure made Shivley anxious. She wanted her to stay longer. She wanted to get to know her better, to learn everything about her. She wanted to make love to her without the threat of time hanging over them. The ticking of the clock in her head had only gotten louder.

  *

  Shivley sat in her usual spot at the head of the large dining room table and toyed with her food. She wasn’t hungry, and going by the amount of food left on Rachel’s plate, neither was she. Rachel had not spoken to her when she returned to the house and had barely acknowledged any of the other women sitting around the table. They didn’t seem to notice Shivley and Rachel were not active contributors to the chatter.

  Cindy sat to her left, followed by Joyce, Sue, and Christina. Jane, Debra, Jackie, Becky, and Ellen were to her right, with Rachel at the opposite end of the table. The women had hearty appetites after several days of hard work and they helped themselves to seconds of just about everything Ann served. Shivley observed each woman. Their physical attributes were obviously different, but the most compelling difference was their personalities.

  Ellen laughed, pulling Shivley’s attention back to the table. Cindy, Joyce, and Jane had similar personalities, while Debra, Jackie, and Sue had the best senses of humor. Becky was an introvert, Christina was moody, and Ellen the peacemaker. Shivley looked at each woman and went through a mental checklist of comparisons to Dale.

  There were absolutely no similarities between Rachel and Dale other than the fact that they were both women. And that they had both kissed her, Shivley thought wryly. She focused on that and immediately realized that she shouldn’t have. Yes, they had both kissed her, but that was where the similarity ended. One had done it out of habit, the other out of desire and need.

  Ann poured coffee, giving Shivley a break from her thoughts, but not for long. As soon as their cups were filled, it dawned on Shivley that maybe this was why she refused to get involved with one of her guests. And in the past few years, she’d had plenty of opportunity. She thought back to the other women who had sat around this table, and Shivley suddenly realized that she had compared all of them to Dale. That was something she consciously found herself doing in the first few months after Dale died, but not lately. Of course they had all paled in comparison to Dale in one way or another, but this time Dale was the one who was less than perfect.

  Shivley fought against the sting of guilt that threatened to become a full-fledged case of shame. Dale had died, left everything to her, and Shivley had continued on with her life. And moving on included someone to share it with. It didn’t include Dale, but it never would have in the first place. Would she continue to compare every woman to Dale? Was she using propriety as a shield so she wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that she was happier without Dale than she was with her?

  Shivley looked at Rachel, and she was afraid. Would she see Dale’s face if they made love? Would she compare lovemaking techniques? A sense of humiliation shot through Shivley as if it had actually happened. She couldn’t do that to Rachel. Jesus, she couldn’t do that to anyone. She looked around the table again. She loved having her house filled with the laughter of women who loved each other. She wanted Rachel here at the table with her every night. She wanted to make love under the stars with Rachel, and not as some guest that she would never see again.

  Rachel watched the emotions play across Shivley’s face like clouds passing in the sky. Shivley would not make a good politician; her emotions were too transparent. Rachel was crossing off the range of emotions going through her as well. There was lust, confusion, anger, then desire, back to anger, the pattern repeating. She was hot and cold and watched as Shivley was on and off as well. Thank God she only wanted to fuck, not get married. She was not in the practice of psychoanalyzing her feelings. Getting into her bedmate’s head was not what she was interested in. She was not into fixing her temporary partner’s “issues.” God, she had enough issues of her own. The only issue she did want to fix was the need to release months of pent-up sexual energy.

  *

  Shivley walked across the yard and stopped at the corral. She put her foot up on the bottom rail and rested her forearms on the warm wood. She knew she had been an ass to Rachel during dinner. She knew she needed to do something, she just didn�
��t know what. Something had to change and it had to change soon.

  “A quarter for your thoughts.”

  “Why so much?”

  “Haven’t you been keeping up with the cost of inflation? A penny doesn’t buy what it used to, you know.”

  Shivley laughed, easing some of the tension in the air. Rachel moved into her peripheral vision and she, too, rested her arms on the top rail. They both looked at the stars.

  “Where did you grow up?” Shivley asked quietly.

  “Everywhere.”

  “Are you always so evasive?” Shivley hoped her question didn’t sound as accusatory as it could have.

  Rachel opened her mouth to snap a reply but instead said, “Only when people get too close.”

  Shivley took a sip of her coffee. “Asking where you grew up is getting too close?”

  Rachel hesitated and made a pivotal decision. “When you’re the property of the state of Montana it is.” Rachel read the question in Shivley’s eyes. “I lived in nine foster homes and went to eight schools by the time I was fifteen.” Rachel was tired just saying it.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? You don’t know me.” Rachel’s defense mechanisms kicked into high gear.

  “Does anyone?” Shivley asked quietly.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Rachel was angry. How dare she act like she knows anything about my life?

  Shivley didn’t answer. The tension in the air was thick. “Why are you here, Rachel?”

  “Rest, relaxation, fresh air, hard work. Everything your glossy brochure described.” Rachel crossed her arms across her chest, her right side against the rail. She saw Shivley smile.

  “I’m glad my ad works, but in your case, I think that’s bullshit.”

  Rachel started to say something scathing, but something held her back.