Heartland

by Julie Cannon

  “She doesn’t say a word but walks into the woods, and of course I follow her. Who gives a shit about our cars sitting in the middle of the road? My mouth waters as I watch her walking in front of me, and I can’t wait to get my hands on her. She stops under a canopy of trees and turns around. Her eyes are blazing with lust and she slowly starts unbuttoning her shirt.” Shivley looked to her left and right and every pair of eyes was on her, but the only ones she was interested in belonged to the woman in her fantasy.

  “She drops her shirt from her shoulders and she’s not wearing anything underneath. I can’t move. I want to touch her, taste her, but I’m frozen right in that spot and can’t move. She gives me a ‘come and get me’ look and reaches for the snap on her jeans.” Shivley took a deep breath, regaining her equilibrium. She had just described what she wished had happened on that dirt road a few short days ago.

  “And?” Sue asked for the group waiting expectantly for the rest of the story.

  “And,” Shivley hesitated before continuing, “and that’s it. I told you I’m not the kiss-and-tell kind of girl. I tried, but I guess I can’t get over it.”

  The group exploded in frustration and questions, and Rachel exhaled. She admitted that she was curious as to what would happen next, but also slightly relieved that she didn’t have it played out in front of these strangers. Her mouth was dry and her heart was beating so loud she could barely hear Shivley’s responses to the questions and pleadings from her trailmates.

  “No, not anymore. I’m done.” The hoots and hollers for more continued. “Now, ladies, I’m the trail boss, and remember I told you, the trail boss has the last word, or in this case two words. I’m done.” Shivley desperately wanted to continue her fantasy, but only in the privacy of her tent and only with one woman.

  Jane interrupted and let her off the hook. “Okay, Rachel, you’re up. Your fantasy is the last one of the night, so you’d better make it good.”

  Rachel was jolted to attention at the sound of her name. When the women started playing the game of kiss and tell, she knew they wouldn’t let her off the hook. Rachel was still so caught up in the sound of Shivley’s voice and the look on her face as she’d told her fantasy that all she really wanted to do was act out what Shivley had described and add her own finishing touches. But instead she took a different spin on the truth.

  “I want to live happily ever after.”

  “What?” Debra asked, confused.

  “I want to live happily ever after.”

  “That’s not a fantasy,” Sue countered.

  “In my world it is.” Rachel’s voice was soft and low and she spoke to the fire. She didn’t have the childhood these women had. She’d never experienced hope, security, or a family. Rachel wasn’t even sure she would know happily ever after if it kissed her right on the mouth.

  Shivley was stunned by Rachel’s declaration. She was expecting something vivid, wild, and probably slightly dangerous, but not this. Not something as simple as happiness. But then again happiness has a unique definition for every person, and Rachel must want it very badly.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  One by one the women retreated to their tents and Shivley was left alone with Rachel beside the dwindling fire. She stirred the hot embers, feeling the heat rise. Her face was warm but her body was on fire. Rachel gave no indication she was ready to turn in, and they sat together under the stars without saying a word. The rustling inside the tents subsided and the silence was peppered with the sounds of the night; an owl hooted not far away.

  There is no mistaking the sound of two women making love. Shivley cocked her head when the first soft moans drifted through the black night and settled around them. She glanced across the dying coals to find Rachel was looking right at her. The echo of mounting need hovered around them and Shivley fought the urge to close the short distance between them and take Rachel into her arms. She wanted Rachel, of that she was certain, and she silently cursed her sense of propriety or fear or whatever the hell was holding her back.

  The throbbing between Rachel’s legs increased in tempo along with the sounds coming from the tent thirty feet away. It had been months since Rachel had had sex, and the passion her co-wranglers were enjoying was making it anything but easy for her to sit calmly as if nothing were happening. Why am I still sitting here and not over there? Rachel didn’t have an answer to her question. Their attraction was mutual and they were both single, Shivley had said as much.

  The sound of muffled passion propelled Shivley into action. She stood on shaking legs and crossed the short distance, pulling Rachel to her feet all in one motion. She crushed Rachel to her, burying her hands in soft hair and pulling her mouth roughly against hers. Rachel responded instantly, deepening the kiss, and Shivley was overcome with hunger. Her tongue plundered Rachel’s mouth while her hands roamed over the slight body leaning into hers. She was quickly losing control.

  Rachel dragged her mouth away from Shivley’s exploring tongue and took a deep breath. The look of unbridled lust in Shivley’s eyes and the suddenness of her advance had taken her breath away. She filled her lungs with the scent of the cool summer night. Shivley smelled of pine trees and leather, and Rachel had a fleeting thought that she would make a fortune if she were ever able to bottle the scent. As it was, she was overwhelmed by the peacefulness of the bright stars twinkling overhead, to say nothing about Shivley’s hands, which were enticingly close to her breasts. Mother Nature had provided the perfect ambience for a night of passion and Rachel was never more ready.

  Rachel was rarely disappointed in the arms of a beautiful woman, in part because she was usually the one in charge and she chose partners who knew their way around a woman’s body. Lust was never a problem, nor was achieving orgasm, but there was something about being in Shivley’s arms that made Rachel want something more than sheer physical release. For the first time, she felt uneasy, almost as if she wouldn’t know what to do. She didn’t get a chance to worry when a loud crack of thunder exploded around them and Shivley tore herself out of her arms.

  “The herd. They’ll be spooked by this. We’ve all got to get back in the saddle.” Shivley stepped away and started calling to the other women to get dressed and get their gear. She grabbed her saddle and ran to the picket line where the horses had been tied. In quiet tones she soothed the restless animals. It wouldn’t do them any good if the horses bolted and left them with nothing other than Ann’s pick-up.

  Shivley heard the sound of movement behind her and turned just as Rachel was heaving her saddle onto the back of her horse. Rachel tightened the cinch and adjusted the reins without hesitation. Shivley untied the reins and jumped onto her mount a split second before Rachel. Rachel settled into the saddle and their eyes met. Unfulfilled desire was written all over Rachel’s face and Shivley started to say something when she realized nothing really needed to be said.

  “Let’s go!” Shivley commanded. “You know what to do.” It was more of a statement than a question. After four days in the saddle Shivley knew Rachel was an experienced horsewoman and wouldn’t need any instructions.

  Unfortunately, the other women didn’t have a clue. Shivley had to give specific instructions several times to the women and was shorthanded when Joyce was so scared she would not come out of her tent. They spent the remainder of the stormy night circling the herd, trying to keep them from bolting in every direction. Finally, just before dawn, the storm passed and the women fell into their tents in complete exhaustion.

  *

  Sweat slid down the center of her back when Rachel heaved another pitchfork of soiled straw out of the stall. She had been up since before dawn, unable to sleep, her thoughts a jumble of the roundup, the storm, and Shivley. They’d been too exhausted to say much of anything to each other as they rode the remaining distance back to the ranch the day before. Every muscle in her body ached and her hands were chapped from hours in wet gloves. Once the cattle were secured in the pen she stumbled up the stairs, and after a
hot shower, collapsed on her bed, and slept right through dinner.

  Shivley had not given any indication that mucking the stalls was the guests’ responsibility, but Rachel’s experience gave her the insight into what was required to run a ranch of this size. She needed the physical activity to clear her mind.

  “You don’t have to do that.” Shivley had been standing in the doorway for several minutes watching Rachel rhythmically swing the pitchfork back and forth full of straw from the stall to the wheelbarrow, which was overflowing from her labors. She didn’t know why Rachel was out here and had even less of a clue what she was using the activity to escape from. Whatever it was, was serious. Shivley had seen the same determination on Rachel’s face the past few days as she expertly handled her horse, a rope, and now the pitchfork.

  Rachel belonged on a ranch. The familiarity with which she walked around the stalls and the corrals, the way she knew her way around in the barn, and of course the way she sat her horse were all clearly indicative that there was someone very different than the Rachel Stanton everyone knew.

  Rachel spun around, startled by the voice intruding on the quiet of the barn. Shivley was silhouetted in the doorway, the rising sun behind her obscuring her face. “I’ve been shoveling shit of one kind or another most of my life. Doesn’t take much to find where it is and even less to get rid of it.” If anyone was an expert about shoveling shit, it was Rachel. In the past ten years, she had been exposed to more half-truths, lies, and crap than the average person, and she was tired of it all.

  The bitterness in Rachel’s reply surprised Shivley, but what was more disconcerting was the stab of pain it caused in her chest. She didn’t want Rachel to feel pain and she had an overwhelming need to ease her burden. “Yeah, but most people don’t do anything to get rid of it. They either walk around it or ignore it.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t have that luxury. My job is to make it disappear, or better yet make it appear as if it never happened, or at least didn’t happen the way you think it did. Occupational hazard, I guess, that spills over into my personal life as well.”

  “And you’re happy with that?”

  Rachel finally broke the smooth cadence of her strokes she had maintained throughout the conversation. To the casual observer it might have gone unnoticed, but Shivley saw it loud and clear.

  “It’s what I do. And I’m damn good at it.” And the balance in her bank account confirmed it. Rachel was known in the political power circles as the one to have on your team if you wanted to win, and win big. She was highly sought after by those on both sides of the political fence, having no allegiance to the politics of either one. She demanded and received big money for her talent and was booked several years into the future.

  Shivley didn’t miss the evasive answer that may have pacified some, but not her. “That’s not what I asked.”

  Rachel was not surprised that her noncommittal answer did not end the subject. She stabbed another clump of soiled straw and sighed. She was so tired of watching to make sure that every word she said could not be misconstrued, used against her, or even worse, become the featured sound bite on the evening news. “No, it isn’t, but that’s my answer nonetheless.” She knew she sounded harsh but was too tired to care.

  “Rachel?”

  Chills dashed down her spine the way Shivley spoke her name, and Rachel lost her focus, almost stabbing herself in the foot. She stopped and slowly turned to face Shivley. Shivley had not moved, and the distance between them felt like a crevasse and she was teetering on the edge, unsure whether to retreat or jump.

  Shivley had come to talk with Rachel and almost lost her nerve when she saw the distress on her face. It was important and she pushed forward. “We need to talk.” Rachel didn’t reply but continued to look at her as if she were waiting for the opportunity to flee. “About the other night.”

  “All right.” Rachel didn’t know what else to say. She was afraid if she said anything it would be the wrong thing and Shivley would disappear, like all the other good things that had come her way. And she didn’t want her to. She wanted to be in Shivley’s arms today, tomorrow, and every day after that. And that scared her more than anything ever had before.

  “What would have happened if the storm hadn’t hit?” Shivley knew. She’d thought about it all day and dreamed about it all night.

  Rachel propped the pitchfork against the nearest wall and wiped her hands nervously on her pants. “You tell me.” In their previous interludes, Shivley had always been the one who pulled away. Rachel wondered if it would have been different, that night under the stars.

  Shivley didn’t bother with useless words, she simply closed the gap between them and took Rachel into her arms. She gazed into uncertain eyes and slowly lowered her head and kissed Rachel with a tenderness she had never felt before. She wanted to erase the pain that Rachel had buried deep under years of self-preservation.

  Rachel wrapped her arms around Shivley’s strong neck and stood on her toes, craving the feel of Shivley’s body against her own. They had been together like this only a few times, but her body instantly remembered how it had felt and her mind reeled from the sensation. She felt safe. No harm would come to her while she was wrapped in Shivley’s embrace. She had never felt this way with anyone before. While other children were blessed with this feeling in the arms of their parents and family, Rachel had not been. While other children felt loved every day of their lives, Rachel had not. But she did now, and she didn’t want to let go.

  Rachel dropped to the ground, pulling Shivley with her. The prickly hay against her back went unnoticed when Shivley settled on top of her. Shivley’s tongue explored her mouth and Rachel slipped her hands under the soft work shirt. Shivley’s muscles twitched under her fingers, and Rachel had to explore every inch of the quivering flesh. She started to unbutton Shivley’s shirt but Shivley gently grasped her hands.

  “Wait.” Shivley could hardly think straight. “Not here, not like this.” Her breath was rapid, and her head was spinning. She blinked several times to clear her head. “I want our first time to be perfect, on clean sheets in a soft bed, not in an old barn smelling like horses.” She started to get up, but Rachel held her firmly in place.

  Rachel had never felt a time or place more perfect than the one she was in right now. She had had sex with countless women in five-star hotels with plush carpet and the finest linen money could buy, but it was nothing compared to what she was experiencing now. Her nose tickled with the comforting smells of tack and fresh straw. It was as if it had awakened senses that were long dormant and reminded her of one of the few happy times in her life. “This is exactly where I want it to be.” She pulled Shivley’s lips to hers and lost herself in the kiss.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Shivley’s hands shook so badly she could barely unbutton Rachel’s shirt. She was out of practice in the art of undressing a woman, but she quickly dusted off her skills and Rachel’s shirt fell open. She grinned.

  Rachel’s breasts were encased in a white bra, the top half covered in intricate lace patterns that barely covered the tanned flesh. Shivley’s hand trembled as she lightly traced the outline of the pattern, Rachel’s already erect nipples pushing even harder against the thin fabric.

  “What are you grinning at?”

  “I never expected a lacy bra under all this sweat and plain cotton shirt. A sports bra or a T-shirt, but never something like this. Very sexy.” Shivley found the combination of butch and femme was indeed sexy. “Do you have matching panties?” The simple word “panties” conjured all kinds of images in Shivley’s mind, and her mouth descended to the smooth flesh.

  “You tell me.” Rachel growled at the same time the buckle of her belt came loose. Overwhelmed by the need to touch Shivley’s skin, she pulled Shivley’s shirt out of her pants and over her head.

  Shivley lifted her head from the nipple she was teasing and once her shirt was off immediately returned and captured it with her teeth. The material was wet
from her mouth and Rachel hissed and dug her fingernails into Shivley’s back. Shivley’s passion skyrocketed; she needed Rachel’s skin against hers.

  Shivley backed away and pulled Rachel into a sitting position. “I need to feel you. I need to taste you.”

  Rachel helped Shivley remove the rest of her shirt and she nibbled on Shivley’s neck while Shivley unclasped her bra. Her breasts spilled out into Shivley’s warm hands.

  “My God, you’re beautiful.” Those were the only words that could even begin to adequately describe the vision in front of Shivley. Firm, full breasts rose and fell quickly, and she watched as Rachel’s nipples hardened even more under her gaze. She was torn between wanting to continue feasting her eyes, or kissing every inch of them. Rachel made the decision for her.

  The look of unbridled desire in Shivley’s eyes was almost more than Rachel could bear. Reaching up, she put her hand behind Shivley’s neck and pulled her to her aching breast. Shivley nibbled, which sent a signal straight to her clit, and if she was not careful, she would come right now. Rachel concentrated on opening the buckle on Shivley’s belt and made short work of the buttons on her jeans.

  Shivley’s stomach quivered under her fingers and Rachel thrilled with the knowledge that Shivley was as turned on as she was. She teased her fingers across the top of the elastic band of Shivley’s Jockeys and was rewarded with a low moan. Shivley switched to her other nipple and Rachel slid her fingers into wet warmth.

  “My God, Shivley, you feel so good. Jesus.” Rachel’s fingers had been in a similar place with dozens of women, but none had ever been as soft and warm. She stroked Shivley softly, exploring the silky smoothness, intentionally staying away from her clit. She wanted to savor the moment when she first touched her.