Love Obsessed

by Veronica Short

  “We’re leaving this weekend.”

  I stand up, not believing what I’m hearing. I run my hands through my hair and turn away from her. She can’t leave. She just can’t. He’s taking her from me, and he’s doing this for him, not her. I hear the chair move and turn back around to see Erin standing up.

  “I thought that you should know,” she whispers.

  I move toward her, grab her waist, and pull her to me, my lips meeting hers. She doesn’t pull away, and when I move my lips, hers part. Erin grabs my shirt and kisses me back, pushing up onto her toes and pressing against me more.

  My feet start to move, and Erin moves with me as we make our way through the apartment. My hands move up her abdomen, pushing her top up as I go. We break the kiss as I lift her shirt over her head. Erin’s hands move up my chest, lifting my shirt up and over my head as we make it to the bedroom. I then gently lower Erin down on the bed and show her how much she means to me.

  Erin

  I close my eyes, absorbing what just happened, taking in what we’ve just done. Cole is lying on top of me, our breathing still heavy. He kisses my shoulder then my neck. It feels too good. I feel him lift his head up, feel his lips on mine. I open my eyes, and he’s watching me. “You’re still leaving, aren’t you?” he states, rather than asks.

  I close my eyes and a tear escapes. Cole abruptly gets up and off the bed. Opening my eyes, I see Cole putting his clothes back on. He’s angry. I don’t know what to say, all words escaping me. I can’t seem to do anything but watch him. Cole throws my clothes on the bed; he can’t even look at me, and then leaves the room. I climb out of the bed and start to get dressed. Cole returns and throws my shirt at me. I stare at it, feeling guilty and like shit. I reach over, picking up the shirt, and put it on.

  “Did that mean nothing to you?” he spits out, so angry. I look up at him. He’s looking at me, arms crossed.

  “Cole,” I start, barely a whisper.

  “Because it meant everything to me,” he continues, poking himself in the chest. I swallow hard. It meant everything to me too.

  “Really, Erin? After everything you’re telling me, that meant shit to you,” he is fuming. My words still evade me, making things so much more complicated. Before I can speak, Cole does, and what he says breaks my heart.

  “Get out, Erin.” I shoot my eyes to his. He means it. He hates me. I can see it in his eyes. I stand up and walk out of the apartment, grabbing my handbag on the way through, and leaving Cole in the bedroom. Once I clear the front door, I run to my car.

  Cole

  “Why the fuck did I just see Erin running from...” Ryan stops speaking once he’s standing in the bedroom doorway. He takes one look at me and the state of the bed, and he knows what just happened between Erin and me. “Dude,” he says quietly. God only knows what he’s thinking.

  I turn and punch a hole in my wall before storming out of the bedroom. I go straight to the pantry and grab the bourbon, drinking straight from the bottle. Dinner is still set up at the table, and there is nothing I can do but stare at it, bottle in my hands, occasionally taking it to my lips. Tonight did not go the way I envisioned. I notice Ryan watching me in the corner of my eye. He wants to ask, but knows better. I stand in the divide between the kitchen and living room for a long time. Once my legs feel like they can’t hold me up any more, I move to the couch. Ryan is already sitting here, waiting.

  “What happened?’ he asks after sufficient time. I take a large mouthful of the bourbon before I speak.

  “She called me last night, said she needed to see me.” I take another mouthful, “I told her to come around and we’d talk and try to figure out this fucked up whatever.” Another mouthful; I close my eyes and feel the burn. “She told me that Jake’s taking her to New York to live.”

  “What?”

  “She’s leaving this weekend,” I continue. Ryan jumps up and starts to pace. “That’s exactly what I thought.”

  He starts in, “So you thought you’d sleep with her before she left?” Ryan is angry and his accusation pisses me off. That is not what it was; well, to me anyway. I stand up, leaving the bottle on the lamp table and clenching my fists.

  “No, I thought that he was...is...taking her away from me, and I need her to stay. I needed to show her what she means to me, and how much I love her.”

  “What happened to make her run out of here?” he grates out.

  I drop back down on the couch and grab the bottle, leading it to my lips again. “I told her to get out.” Fuck! Saying it out loud makes me sound, and feel, like an asshole. What have I done?

  Ryan rushes over to me, picking me up by my collar, and shoving me into a wall. He’s pissed. “You kicked her out,” he grates out.

  I can’t help it; the tears start to run freely. “It didn’t mean anything to her. It meant everything to me, being with her that way, but it meant nothing to her.”

  I can’t take the mixed look of anger and sympathy anymore, so I close my eyes. Ryan lets go of me, and I slide down to the floor, crying. Ryan sits beside me on the floor. “It meant everything to Erin, too,” he whispers. I cry harder.

  Erin

  My last day at Saint John’s is long and slow. Word has gotten around that both Jake and I are leaving, and the rumours have been floating around. Beth, of course, has something to say about it.

  “So, you and Jake are running away together. When’s the baby due?” I don’t even respond. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that I’m expecting. In the office, packing up my desk, she continues, “Brandon hasn’t said anything about it to me. He mustn’t care that you’re leaving.” I continue to ignore her, having packed the desk up.

  Anita enters the room next, “Cole either. I guess you were replaced. No wonder you’re leaving. I couldn’t face the women who replaced me every day, either. Talk about awkward moments.”

  The mention of Cole’s name sets me off. “All right. I can play this game, too. Beth, Brandon broke up with you a few weeks ago, so all your little stories that you have been telling about you two are lies. Plain and simple, and very sad. Anita, Cole never went out with you. He stood you up that first night. I know this, because he was with me.”

  “So, you cheated on Jake,” Anita says.

  “He was there, too. It’s called a family dinner.”

  “It was an eventual night,” Jake speaks, coming up beside me. The girl’s faces drop. They’re out of ammunition, and we all know it.

  Anita clears her throat, “Well, then I hope you too will be very happy.”

  “We will.” Jake wraps an arm around my waist. “You ready?” he asks me.

  “Yes.” We walk out of the room for the last time.

  ***

  The guilt of what I did is eating me up, and it’s starting to show. “Erin,” Jake says. We’re packing boxes still. Most of the apartment is packed already. Just the little things are left to go. We have set aside the things we will need until Saturday, and there are still some things in the kitchen and spare room to pack. For a man, living by himself, Jake has a fair bit of stuff.

  “Yeah,” I respond, still placing items in the box.

  “Are you alright?”

  “Yeah.” It’s silent for a moment.

  “Are you sure?” he sounds concerned. I don’t want to worry him.

  I stop and take a big breath, “It’s just a big move to a new place. I’ll be starting from scratch. I’m just.....nervous.”

  Jake comes up and holds me. “You’re going to be fine. I’ll be there with you.”

  I nod, “I know.”

  Jake kisses my forehead and returns to his box. I haven’t been able to touch Jake intimately since what I did with Cole. I tell Jake that I’m nervous about the move, and that everything is fine. I lie to Jake, again. In so many days, I have cheated on him with Cole, and have lied to Jake.

  ***

  The day before the move, the guilt is washing over me. The boxes are all moved out into the main living area, t
o make it easier for the removalists tomorrow.

  “When are you returning the car?” Jake sits down beside me on the couch.

  “Um, tonight. I’ll head across, say goodbye, and catch a cab back here. You all set for your big night?” Jake has plans to go out with some friends; his farewell.

  “All set.”

  “Good. Have fun.” Jake moves closer to me, leaning over and putting his lips on mine. I feel repulsed at myself, at the fact that they aren’t Cole’s lips. Jake pulls back, looking at me strangely. My tears start to roll down my cheeks. He searches my eyes, looking for something. He knows there is more to my behaviour than just nerves.

  “I slept with Cole,” I whisper through my tears.

  Jake’s eyes widen and he gets off the couch. “You cheated on me,” he spits out.

  “I’m so sor...” The side of my face starts to sting and I can taste blood in my mouth. I put my hands over where the pain is and look at Jake. I carefully stand up, needing to get out of the apartment and away from Jake. I don’t make it very far, before Jake pulls my hair and I’m on the ground with a foot to my chest.

  “You fucking cheated on me!” is the last thing I hear before the pain becomes unbearable, and my world goes dark.

  When I wake, the apartment is dark and cold. I don’t want to move. My body is so sore, but I need to get out of here. I get up and then collapse, pain spreading everywhere. I take a few breaths, trying to make the pain pass, and then try again. This time, slowly, I make it to my feet, but needing support, I hold on to the benches and lean against the walls on my way out of the apartment. I grab my handbag and slowly make my way to the car.

  Once I’m sitting in my car, I have to take some time for the pain to pass before I can move again. I refuse to cry until I’m away and safe. I start to drive, heading nowhere in particular. I drive until I can’t anymore, and then into a motel. I look into the rear view mirror, worried at what I might see. My face isn’t too bad. It’s the rest of me that hurts. I, to the best that I can, tidy my hair and wipe the blood away from my lip, and then go inside to get a room.

  There is an older lady behind the desk. She takes one look at me, and I can see the worry and sympathy in her eyes. “Hi. Can I have a room, please?” Speaking through the pain, my voice is hoarse.

  “How long will you be staying here?” the lady asks.

  I haven’t thought that far ahead. “Um...I....” my voice cracks and tears threaten to fall. “I don’t know,” I whisper.

  “That’s alright. We’ll take your credit card details and charge you day by day,”the lady explains. I nod and hand over my credit card. The lady swipes it and hands me a room key and some painkillers. I get back into the car, after thanking the lady, and drive around to the room that is now my home. I get out of the car and go inside the room. It’s exactly what I paid for; a bed, small bathroom, tiny TV, and it smells. I open a window, pull the blankets off the bed, and carefully lay down before passing out.

  I keep falling in and out of consciousness. I don’t know how long I’ve spent in the motel already. There’s a knocking at the door. Groaning, I ignored it. The knocker is insistent and keeps at it. Feeling that whoever it is isn’t going to stop until I answer, I slowly get up. My body is stiff from being still and in one position for so long. I slowly drag myself to the door and open it. Through half closed eyes, I see Dad standing in the threshold. He takes one look at me, and his entire demeanour changes and then changes back. I don’t have to say anything for him to know what has happened. I probably look like shit; God knows I feel like it.

  He walks into the room and has a look around, sees my bag and grabs it. He gently takes me by the arm and helps me walk out to the car. Dad opens the door to put my bag in first, and then lifts me up, placing me in the car and buckling the seat belt. I’m unconscious before he closes the car door.

  When I wake again, I’m met with bright lights. As I open my eyes and become used to them, I register that the pain is gone. I’m sore and tender, but the pain was gone.

  “Erin,” Mum’s voice makes me turn my head. It spins slightly and I have to close my eyes to keep from being sick. When I open them again, I see Dad there as well.

  “How are you feeling?” Mum asks, reaching for my hands and avoiding the drips that are there.

  “Better,” I say. My throat is dry, making my voice hoarse.

  “I’ll get you some water.” Mum gets up and leaves the room.

  Dad comes over to me, saying, “I want his address.”

  “What day is it?”

  “Monday night.”

  “He’s gone.” I turn my head back, looking away. I can’t believe what he did to me. I lick my lips to moisten them and my tongue runs over something foreign. I raise my hand to get a better feel, but recoil at the pain it causes, and drop my arm back down to my side on the bed.

  “Easy. You have some fractured ribs, one broken rib, a lot bruising, and a few sets of stitches. You need to be careful with your movements.”

  Mum returns with some water. She makes the bed rise so that I’m sitting up. I take the cup out of her hand and drink through the straw, taking small mouthfuls. “How did you find me?”

  “I saw your car as I was driving by. I went in and spoke to the lady. She was hesitant to tell me if you were there, at first, but once I told her that I’m your father, she told me to get the bastard and what room you were in. You passed out before I got you in the car, and I brought you straight to the hospital. Why didn’t you call us? You should have called us, damnit.”

  He’s hurt that I didn’t call. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I just had to get out of there. You haven’t told anyone, have you?”

  “No. Not yet. We wanted to make sure that you were going to be ok first.”

  “Please, don’t say anything.”

  “Why not? They’ll want to know. They’ll want to deal with this.”

  “No,” I say, “they can’t find out.”

  “Why not? They will want to know.”

  “They can’t.”

  “Why not?” Dad demands.

  “Because I deserve it.”

  “What!” Dad booms, his voice echoing off the walls.

  “You do not deserve this. It is not your fault this happened,” Mum says.

  “I do. I did something bad... really bad,” I whisper.

  “It doesn’t matter what you did. He had no right,” Dad says.

  I close my eyes and drift back to sleep. When I wake the next time, the doctor comes around, prescribes some painkillers, and tells me to take it easy for the next few weeks. I’m discharged, and Mum and Dad insist that I stay with them. It’s useless arguing with them, and I’m too tired to argue anyway.

  My car is in the driveway when we arrive, and without saying a word, I walk straight to the spare room and lay down on the bed, face down as the doctor instructed. I have some clothes in Brandon’s room, and Mum brings them into the spare room. Dad insists on getting Jake’s address.

  He explains that he wants it to go and see if any of my stuff has been left behind. I don’t care about it, but I give in and give it to him. Mum keeps coming in to check on me, making sure that I eat and drink, and staying with me until I do. Dad returns at some stage while I’m sleeping. When I wake up, there are boxes in the room, my boxes. Jake had left them behind. Of course he did. He has no use for them in New York.

  ***

  “What are you doing?” Mum exclaims when she sees me walking down the stairs. “You should be in bed.”

  I have been in bed for days, and am getting bored when I’m awake. I’m heading to the lounge room. “I’m bored up there, so I was going to watch some TV,” I explain.

  “I’ll get you a TV for the room,” Dad says, “so go back to bed.” I nod and head back up.

  “Are you hungry?” Mum asks behind me.

  “No thanks.”

  “Let me know when you are.”

  “I will.”

  I head back
to bed and let my thoughts wander to what I’m going to do once I’m healed. I’ve destroyed my career, wrecked all my relationships, and have no home. I’m a total failure; back to square one, where I was over four years ago.

  Cole

  I wake up, go to work, come home, and drink. This has been my routine for the past week. Ryan has been hovering around me so much that he’s practically been living with me this past week. I haven’t been able to sleep in the bed, even with new sheets on it, so I’ve been sleeping on the couch. The couch has been my best friend; reliable, dependable couch. It’s always here to catch me when I fall.

  “Dad hasn’t been at work all week,” Ryan states, pulling the blanket off me. The sun hits my face, making me recoil. I like my warm, dark place. “I’m heading over there to see what’s up, and you’re coming with me, so get dressed. You have ten minutes.”

  “You don’t need me to go and see Dad,” I mumble.

  “Get your ass up and get ready.”

  “I hate you,” I groaned out, sitting up.

  “Good. Go shower and get dressed. Do it now.”

  I stumble to the bathroom, have a shower, and get dressed, all while refusing to look at the bed while I do.

  When I emerge, Ryan is at the door, keys in hand. We’re silent on the drive over. Pulling into the driveway, I notice Erin’s car is here. She probably gave it back before she left. That’s something she would do. Dad comes out of the house and walks up to us as we’re getting out of the car. He’s never done this before.

  “Boys, this is a surprise,” he says.

  “You haven’t been at work all week. We came to see what’s up,” Ryan explains.

  “Checking up on me?” Dad asks.

  “Pretty much. What’s going on?” He shrugs, eyeing the both of us

  “Is Mum inside?” I make a move toward the house, but dad steps in front of me. Frowning at his behaviour, I take a step to the side, and he does the same. “What the fuck old man!” I exclaim, trying again, but dad counters.

  “You can’t go in there,” he says simply.

  I look over his shoulder, toward the house, and then back to Dad. I look at Ryan to see if he has any idea what’s going on, but he shakes his head. “What’s going on, Dad?” Ryan asks.