Love Obsessed

by Veronica Short

  “What!” Brandon says.

  Ryan continues, “You broke up with her because Brandon was going through something and needed her. You couldn’t handle her being over there with him. Then, you make her sound incapable of looking after herself, like she needs someone to be able to live. She was alone for a very long time before us. She looked after herself without having to rely on anyone. You made her sound insignificant, all because you’re a self-centered, inconsiderate bastard.”

  “Cole,” Dad’s voice fills the room. “Erin is a part of this family no matter how much of an asshole you are to her. I thought that I raised smart boys, but now I just think that you’re as dumb as dirt,” Dad says sternly. He’s pissed at me. The room is silent. I fucked up again.

  “You slept with Erin while she was with Jake?” Brandon asks, trying to stay calm, but I can hear the tightness in his voice. I don’t answer him. I can’t believe he’s doing this. “Cole, I swear to God. Answer me,” Brandon continues.

  I turn and look at him, “Yeah, I did, and the only regret I have is that Erin got punished for it.”

  “Cole needs to grow up and pull his head out of his ass,” Ryan spits. I hear Beth gasp and giggle.

  “Get your knocked-up bitch out of our family home. She isn’t welcome here,” I spit.

  ***

  Dinner had been ruined, so we all went our separate ways. Brandon took Beth home, and I came back to my apartment. After I get some liquid courage in me, I dial Erin. She doesn’t answer. I try again and again and again, all the while filling and emptying my glass with bourbon. Eventually, she answers, “Stop calling me. I’m about to turn my phone off.”

  “Well, if you had answered the first time, I wouldn’t have had to ring continuously.”

  “You’re drunk,” she states.

  “I’m sorry about earlier. It’s just easier to hate you sometimes, than to love you. You really hurt me, Erin. You took my heart and burnt it, like it meant nothing to you. You know how I feel about dating and women, and I have never given my heart away, except to you. For some reason, you got it and didn’t give it back. Give me my heart back, Erin. I don’t want you to have it anymore.”

  “I wish that I could give it back. It would make everything so much easier.”

  “You don’t want my heart now? Isn’t it good enough for you? What makes it not good enough? Jake gave you his heart, and look at what happened there. I never touched you that way, never treated you wrong, and he did. What makes me so different from him?”

  “Don’t go there, Cole. You’re drunk, and I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “No one’s fighting here, Erin. Tell me what’s wrong with my heart.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with your heart.”

  “Why don’t you want it?!” I’m pissed off, so I throw my glass at the wall. It shatters everywhere. “Shit!” I yell as glass shatters back and hits me.

  “What happened? Are you ok?”

  “Like you care,” I say and hang up.

  Erin

  I hear the glass shatter and then Cole swear. He’s drunk and in no way fit enough to look after himself if he’s injured. “I have to go,” I tell Jules. I ended up here after dinner. I wasn’t up for the drive home yet, and I needed someone to vent to.

  “Is everything ok?” she asks.

  “I don’t know. Thanks for everything.” I hug her and leave to go to Cole.

  His apartment door is unlocked, so I walk straight in. He’s sitting on the couch, looking like hell. He doesn’t even look up to see who is in his home. I place my bag down on the table in between the front door and the kitchen, and I spot the broken glass shattered all over the kitchen and dining room floor. I grab the first aid kit he keeps in the kitchen, and go to sit by him on the couch. He lifts his head and looks at me. He has a haunted look about him, but he doesn’t say anything and neither do I.

  I place one hand on the side of his face. His eyes close slowly and a tear escapes, running down his cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb and turn his head so that I can see if he has any injuries there. He has a gash on his cheek. I remove my hand from his cheek, but Cole grabs it, placing it back on his cheek. He looks so sad. I can’t help but feel responsible for how he’s feeling. I want to take his pain away. Without thinking, my lips touch his, and he doesn’t stop me. Cole wraps his arms around me and pushes me down on the couch, covering my body with his.

  I wake up in Cole’s bed, his arms wrapped around me and our legs tangled up. I untangle myself from him and creep out of bed in search for my clothes. I dress and clean up the glass mess. Cole was pretty drunk, and will most likely have a killer hangover when he wakes up. He probably won’t remember what happened last night, and I don’t want him to step in it. Before I leave I get the bracelet that he gave me for graduation out of my bag. I have been carrying it around with me, not feeling right enough to wear it, and not knowing what to do with it, I place it on the bench before leaving his apartment for the last time.

  Cole

  I wake up naked. My eyes sting and my head is pounding. Cringing, I get up to go to the bathroom as nature is calling. Looking in the mirror, I notice a cut on my cheek. It stings when I touch it. In need of ibuprofen, I head into the kitchen, retrieve some, and then go to get some water from the fridge. Bottle to mouth, I turn and see Erin’s bracelet sitting on my bench. I stand here in the kitchen looking at it, trying to figure out how it got there in the first place, and then a vague memory of Erin comes into my head.

  “Shit. No. No no no no.” I run around the apartment in search of my phone. Erin is giving my heart back. She did it with Brandon, and now with me. I find the phone on the couch, and search for last dialled number. Erin. I press ‘call’ and listen to the rings. No answer.

  “Erin, honey, please answer your phone or call me back. I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me. You can’t. I don’t want my heart back. You can keep it. It’s yours. It always has been. Just come and pick up the bracelet and we’ll be good. God, sweetheart, don’t do this to me. I’ll do anything. You say it, and it’s done. I promise. I love you so much. You probably think that I don’t remember last night, but I do. I remember everything I do with you. I love being with you that way. Please come back to me. Call me.”

  She never calls back.

  ***

  I’m lounging on the couch when the phone rings. I picked it up, hopeful that it’s Erin. It’s been months since I made that phone call, and I haven’t heard a thing from her. It’s Brandon’s name that flashes across the screen. “Hey,” I speak.

  “Beth’s in labour.”

  “Ok. What do you want me to do about that?”

  “I need you guys here with me.”

  I take a deep breath. This is not how I want to spend my Saturday night. “I’m on my way.”

  “Thanks.”

  When I get to the hospital, Brandon is coming in and out. He looks worn out, tired, and stressed. All we can do is sit and wait. Mum is texting away. Dad is in on the texts. Brandon is in and out of the waiting room. Ryan is reading a magazine, and I’m just sitting here feeling like a useless piece of shit. At one stage Brandon comes and sits down.

  “She stopped,” he announces.

  “It happens,” Mum says.

  “I need Erin here.”

  That pisses me off, “Yeah, because Erin would want to be here while that bitch is in labour. Real nice, Brandon.”

  “That’s not what I meant, Cole. I would never ask her to be here for this. I just need her.”

  “That’s right, because it’s always about you.”

  “Why don’t we go for a walk?” Dad says.

  I turn away from Brandon and walk out the doors with Dad not far behind me. “He’s such a selfish bastard.”

  “It must run in the family,” Dad quips. That’s a shot at me.

  “Fuck, old man. I already feel like shit, so don’t rub it in.” Dad pats me on the shoulder and enters the cafe we’ve ended up at. I go in after him, and we
order coffee for everyone before returning to the waiting room. Hours later, Brandon re-emerges.

  “It’s a boy,” he says. He’s the happiest that he has been since this whole thing started. Brandon is a dad, and he has a son. Brandon brings him out, and we all have a hold. They decide to call him Matthew.

  Erin

  Word that Brandon has a boy reaches me, and I want to congratulate him, so I call him.

  “Hello,” he speaks into the phone.

  “You sound tired,” I say.

  “Erin.” He chirps up, “God, baby, how are you?”

  “I’m good. Congratulations. How does it feel?”

  “Baby, I wish that you could meet him. He’s,” he laughs, “he’s the best thing to come out of this. I didn’t think that I would feel this way.”

  “That’s good. I hope that in some weird way, it all works out for you.”

  “Me too. We named him Matthew.”

  “I heard. It’s a nice name.”

  “Brandon, the baby’s crying,” I hear Beth say somewhere in the background.

  “I have to go, baby, but call again. I want you to meet him, and we need to catch up for a drink.”

  “I will and sounds good.”

  ***

  “So, you’re settling in alright?” Brandon asks as he brings his beer up to his mouth. For once, while we’re out his attention is completely on me, and not some girl dancing.

  “I am. The school is old, but I love it. I don’t have to share space with other teachers, and the kids are so amazing. For a bunch of third graders, they are really smart. This one girl can talk rings around me. It’s insane.”

  Brandon laughs along with me, “I’m glad to hear that you’re doing good, baby. I really am.”

  “How are things at home?” He takes a deep breath and rubs his forehead, ‘It’s not like it was with you, but I have to do what I have to do, and hopefully, one day I will wake up and not want to kill her.”

  “Give it a chance to settle, and you never know what might happen. Babies have a way of changing things once they come along.”

  “I hope so, baby. Matthew is just so... adorable.”

  “He’s a great baby. So edible and he looks just like you.”

  “He does, doesn’t he?” Brandon is just so proud to be a dad. He’s worried about Beth being his mother, though.

  I move my hand to cover his, “Everything will work out.”

  “Get your hands off my fiancée, Erin,” Beth’s voice comes from behind me. I retract my hand and put both on my beer bottle. Brandon is looking at Beth like he can’t believe that she is here.

  “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here. You should be at home with Matthew.”

  “I wanted to see why it was taking you so long to get home,” she looks at me, “and now I know why.” She turns her attention back to Brandon “I thought we spoke about this. If you want in this baby’s life, Erin has to go.”

  “It’s just a beer, Beth.”

  “Beer or not...” she slightly throws her head in the direction of the door.

  “I have to go anyway. It’s a long ride home.” I get up and finish my beer, placing it back on the table. Beth is staring at me, but Brandon isn’t. “Cya,” I say as I turn to leave.

  “Bye,” Beth says. Brandon doesn’t say anything. Once I clear the pub, I head in the direction of the train station.

  “Erin!” Brandon yells behind me. I stop and turn to see him running up to me. He engulfs me in a hug and mumbles into my shoulder. When he pull his head up, I can see the tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, baby, so fucking sorry. Forgive me.”

  I smile and kiss his cheek, “You’re forgiven. You better take Beth home.”

  “I’m sorry. Is there someone you can call to take you home?”

  “Yeah,” I lie.

  “Good. I love you, baby.” Brandon holds me to him and kisses my forehead before pulling away and walking back to where Beth is waiting.

  ‘I love you, too’ I whisper as I watch his back retreat. I turn to head back to the train station. It’s dark, and it wouldn’t be too smart for me to make the best of a ninety minute ride back home by myself, so I pull my phone out. After finding the number, I place it to my ear.

  Cole

  I hear my phone ringing in the distance. I peel one eye open as I reach for it on my side table, Erin. I peel the other one open to see that I really am seeing her name on the display screen. I am. She is calling me at eleven-thirty at night. I watch the screen light up with each ring until it stops ringing, and then I watch the screen flash, ‘One missed call: Erin.’

  I dial her back, and it rings and rings. No answer. It rang out. “Shit.” Why isn’t she answering? Is she in some kind of trouble? I try dialling again and again, and she picks up on the third attempt.

  “What?” She snaps.

  “You called me, remember?” I reply, just as pissed off at her tone.

  “Yeah, and you didn’t pick up.”

  “I called back!”

  “Obviously,” She remarks.

  “What do you want Erin?” I ask, too tired to deal with any shit from her.

  “Nothing.”

  “So you just called me to wake me up in the middle of the night?’

  “Pretty much.” I hear a car horn in the background.

  “Where are you?’

  “None of your business.”

  I take a deep, calming breath. “Are you alone?” I ask slowly, trying to stay calm. She’s silent, and I have my answer. “Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

  “Its fine. I’m almost at the train station now. I shouldn’t have called in the first place.”

  “Erin...” the phone goes silent. She hung up. I call her back until she picks up.

  “Stop calling me!” she yells into the phone, which pisses me off.

  “Where are you!?” I yell back.

  “Like you care! Leave me alone!”

  “Sweetheart, please just tell me where you are, so I can come and get you and make sure that you’re safe,” I speak calmly while getting dressed and searching for my car keys.

  I can hear her breathing, “I’m just about at Central.”

  “Can you wait for me at the ticket booth? I’m on my way.”

  “Sure.”

  I grab my car keys and go to get Erin. There is no traffic this late at night, and I get to her in no time. I get to the train station and go in search for Erin. It doesn’t take long. She’s waiting for me at the ticket booth. We just look at each other for a while. I want to see if she will come to me. I have come this far already. I hold out my hand and wait. Erin moves toward me, and when her hand touches mine, I pull her to me and hold her, kissing her head. Erin holds me the best she can with one free hand, since I still have the other one in my hand.

  “Take me home,” Erin whispers.

  “Gladly.” We walk hand in hand back to the car and go home.

  Brandon

  “Beth, wake up, will you. It’s your turn with Matthew. You haven’t spent time with him, and I need a break.” She groans and rolls over in her bed. ‘Beth!’

  “What?” She sits up in her bed.

  “Spend some time with your son. I need to head to the store.”

  “Take him with you. I need to sleep,” and she lays back down, hiding her head under the blankets.

  “You need to sleep? If you didn’t go out and party all night, you wouldn’t need so much sleep would you?”

  “What do you want from me Brandon? I had to carry your son for nine months. My body wasn’t mine, and I couldn’t do anything. Now that I have my body back, I’m going to go out and socialise. I won’t be a stay at home mum!”

  I walk out of the room Beth sleeps in. We haven’t slept together once. The decision for our own rooms came up after I was sick of sharing my bed with her, so I brought her new furniture, to her liking of course, and she’s been there since. Closing the door behind me, I go into my room and pack, and then I go
and pack Matthew up. Putting him in the car, I drive us to Mum and Dad’s.

  I enter the house with Matthew first. He’s asleep in his capsule, so I place him down on the kitchen table, then go back out to the car for the rest of our stuff. When I re-enter, Mum is making a fuss over Matthew who has woken up. I go and put our stuff in my bedroom, then go back down to the kitchen. “Matthew and I are moving in. It won’t be for long, just until I can figure something out.”

  “What’s going on?” Mum asks.

  “Beth is what,” I say.

  “What has she done?” Mum asks.

  “It’s what she doesn’t do, Mum. She doesn’t look after Matthew, she goes out all night, and I’m pretty sure that she spends most nights with someone else. I don’t love her, and I don’t care, but I will not have my son in that environment.”

  “Ok. You two are always welcome here.” Matthew starts to fuss, so I run up to the bedroom and get out his bottle and formula and come back down to the kitchen to prepare it. Mum feeds him while I unpack and set up a place for him to sleep safely.

  While mum is feeding Matthew, I pick up the home phone and call Erin. “Hey.”

  “Cole?”

  Erin

  Sitting on the couch, cuddled up watching a movie, my phone starts to ring. “Who is it?” I ask as Cole reaches for it.

  “Home. Hey,” he answers it and then he stills.

  I pause the movie and then look over at him. “Who is it?” It obviously isn’t Mum or Dad.

  “It’s Brandon,” he tells me while passing the phone over.

  I grab it and tentatively put it to my ear. “Brandon?”

  “Why did Cole answer your phone?”

  “What’s wrong? You sound stressed.”

  “Is Cole hiding you from me? Is that what’s going on now? Are you two dating?”