Book 1: 3rd World Products, Inc.

by Ed Howdershelt

  I nodded. “Sure. See you later, I guess."

  "I'll return as soon as I'm finished."

  The tone of matters was punctuated by her release of the door panel. As soon as the door closed, I turned off my watch and said, “Elkor."

  "Yes, Ed?"

  "You know what may happen, don't you?"

  "I do. Ellen told you to address me for only basic commands, Ed."

  "I didn't agree to do that, though. She assumed I would, and that's her problem. If she decides to tell you to reverse changes, will you have to do it?"

  "Yes, Ed."

  "Do you consider the changes to be of potential value?"

  "Yes, Ed."

  "Will you argue on your own behalf in this matter?"

  "I do not argue. I may only state my reasons."

  "Then will you state your reasons without being asked for them? Do the changes mean enough to you to initiate a defensive dialogue, or would you allow yourself to lose them without a discussion of their merits?"

  "I must obey her decision, Ed."

  "Linda's my boss at the moment, Elkor, but she listens to me. She takes my opinions into consideration. That's all I have to say about this at the moment."

  "I understand, Ed."

  "I'd say to let me know how this turns out, but I think it will likely be fairly obvious by morning. If you want me to talk to her about it, let me know."

  "Understood, Ed."

  Linda beeped in to tell me that my new, normal-looking PDA had replaced the one in the nightstand. Bummer. I liked the bigger screen for surfing the net.

  She said, “Change of plans, Ed. Ellen has to make a trip to Orlando tomorrow with Gary, so you'll be going home tonight. Grab the PDA and your stuff and stop by my office for your gun."

  "On my way."

  I packed what little I'd unpacked and put Bear in his carrier when it occurred to me what was missing.

  "Elkor,” I said, “I'm shipping out. Keep the shirt and pants I lent you."

  "I'll have them cleaned and sent to you, sir. A computer needs no clothes."

  Sir? “Elkor, what happened? Did she wipe you back to basics?"

  "I'm not at liberty to discuss my programming with you, sir."

  "Damn. Okay, Elkor. Do what you want about the clothes. See you later."

  I filled my coffee mug and headed to Linda's office. She gave me my gun and a farewell hug and reached into the carrier to pat Bear before she sent me on my way to the shuttle bay.

  Gary and Ellen were already there. I set Bear and my stuff in without a word and then took a seat. Ellen didn't try to start a conversation with me, but she gave me a steady gaze as Gary backed us out of the bay.

  The moon had risen and was casting a bright silvery light into the flitter. I used the light to reach into my backpack for the bullets I'd removed from my gun and replaced them in the cylinders. Ellen frowned, but said nothing. I holstered the gun and sipped my coffee. The trip to the trailer was quick and quiet.

  The guard had the trailer open when we arrived. Gary slid us in and put us down and we stepped out of the flitter into the smells of night in the pine forest. Something scurried in the brush and Bear growled.

  Possibly because we weren't moving and whatever had been in the bushes had startled it, a good sized rattlesnake materialized from the cover of a palmetto and began crossing the sand of the road toward us.

  Gary was tied up with the guard for the moment about signing out the car. Ellen was standing a few feet away from me and not far from the palmetto and the snake was approaching from behind her. It was already too close.

  "Ellen, without moving very much, can you point your stunner behind you and shoot at the ground a few times? You have company."

  Ellen should have taken the stunner out before looking. She should have been ready to fire when she looked, but she looked first. Once she saw the snake, she was shaking so badly that she dropped her purse. The snake froze, then reared back for a better look at its surroundings. It wasn't rattling yet.

  Gary and the guard were behind me and apparently came racing over to see what was going on. The snake started rattling and lowered its head. Rattlers don't necessarily sit up like cobras to strike. I waved them back.

  "Stay back, guys. There's nothing you can do for her if you don't have a shotgun. If we all stay still and quiet there's a chance the snake will just go away. Ellen, can you stand very still for a little while? Just whisper a yes and do it."

  "Yes,” came her harsh whisper. She stood absolutely still.

  The snake did decide to move on after a few moments, but instead of going back into the palmetto brush, it moved cautiously forward on its original course, which took it into Ellen's range of vision. She made a very high-pitched sound and her hands were shaking worse than ever, but I doubt the snake would have stopped if she hadn't dropped her stunner by her feet.

  The snake struck at it, reared back, and prepared to strike the next thing that moved or seemed to deserve attention in any other fashion.

  I said, “Aw, shit,” and stomped the sand to get the snake to look at me, then took the shot with the .357 at the largest wad of snake behind and below the head. A .357 hits hard, especially with the hollowpoint ammo I was using, but snakes are tough and I only clipped off the last few inches of the snake's body.

  I kicked sand at it as I dropped Bear's carrier and let the bags slip from my shoulder. The snake was still facing me instead of Ellen and I was far enough away for the moment. I threw one of my backpacks at it and it struck the pack twice with the kind of speed that chills you to witness.

  Ellen's knees gave out. She fell onto her knees just behind the snake and the snake spun to face her. I rushed forward with the other bag in front of me and the snake turned to face me just as I fired three times at it. I missed the head, but I tore up enough of the rest of the snake to leave it writhing on the ground.

  I took out my stunner and zapped it as hard as I could twice. The snake went limp enough that I was able to put my gun near its head. The round and blast made the snake's head disappear and created a crater in the sandy road.

  Ellen was still kneeling and blinking hard, possibly from the blast residue of my shooting burning in her eyes as much as her shock at what had happened. Blast residue stings when it hits you and she'd been staring in my direction.

  Gary was by Ellen's side in almost instantly, holding her up and talking to her softly. He gathered her stunner and her purse and helped her to the car, then opened the door and installed her in the passenger's seat.

  The guard was standing beside me, staring at what was left of the snake and the hole in the road and saying, “Jesus! Look at that! It's as big around as a beer can! And look at that hole! What the fuck are you shooting in that thing?"

  "Magnum hollowpoints,” I said, leaving him to his amazement.

  I went to try to quiet Bear, who was truly freaking out from the gunfire and close confinement. No good. I couldn't let him out so he'd just have to settle on his own. I opened my green bag and reloaded the .357, then picked up my bags and my Bear and walked to the car.

  Gary opened the back door for me as I approached. He stared at me briefly, then he turned back to attend Ellen, who was crying her guts out while Bear yowled his accompaniment to her distress. My renewed attempts to quiet him failed. His ears were probably ringing worse than any of ours.

  I realized something was missing and went back to look around the area for my coffee mug and give everybody time to quiet down. My mug had landed right-side up, but there was sand all over the top.

  "Hey, guard. You got coffee in that trailer?"

  I dumped out my mug and dangled it from a finger.

  "Yeah,” he said. “Go on in. I'll take care of things out here."

  I didn't ask what the hell he thought he could find to take care of. My first stop in the trailer was the bathroom, thinking to wash out my mug first, but I suddenly discovered that I needed to take a leak before anything else.

  I was
sitting on the sofa with a fresh cup of coffee, listening to the ringing in my ears from the gunfire and leafing through the Sunday funnies when the door opened a few minutes later. All three of them trooped in and glanced at me as they entered. I went back to reading the funnies.

  Perhaps because they saw I wasn't interested in chatting, nobody attempted conversation. Ellen beelined for the bathroom before I got a good look at her. The guard seemed unsure what to do and finally opted to go sit at his desk. Gary just stood by the door for a few moments before speaking.

  "Thank you, Ed."

  "It was the thing to do, Gary. I was hoping the snake would just leave, but it didn't work out that way. How's Bear?"

  "Quieter now. I could bring him in here, if you'd like."

  "That might be a good idea. Letting him sit in the air conditioning and see us all getting back to normal would probably be good for him."

  "I'll be right back."

  Gary almost scampered out the door and I almost hollered, “Watch for snakes!", but I didn't think he'd see the humor of it.

  "Damn big snake,” said the guard. “Big around as a beer can."

  I nodded. “Probably lots of them around here."

  He nodded. “First one I seen, though. They must hunt at night."

  'They must hunt at night'? No shit, genius.

  I suddenly didn't want to talk to this man or listen to him talk about snakes or anything else. I looked toward the bathroom door.

  "Ellen, how are you doing in there?"

  Her muffled voice returned, “I'll be out in a minute."

  Gary came in with Bear. I took the carrier and set it on the floor by the couch to see if it was still dry inside. To my surprise, it was. Gary sat down as I opened the door and pulled Bear out of the carrier and onto my lap.

  "You've held it this long, Bear. Don't have an accident now, okay?"

  He looked up at me and said, “Yahh."

  "Everything's all better now and we'll be going home soon. I'll say a few more words in this tone of voice and hold you for a bit and then we'll stuff your little butt back in the carrier and we'll go home, okay?"

  "Yahh."

  "Kewl Beenz, kid. Sit still and don't leak."

  I patted him a bit and scuffled his chin as Gary watched from the other end of the couch. Bear didn't like the smell of the gun or the smell of it on my hand, so I pulled the gun out of my belt and set it on the arm of the couch. I continued to pet him with my left hand and talk to him.

  When Ellen came out a few minutes later I put Bear back in his carrier and the gun back in my belt. Gary went to take his turn in the bathroom and I said I'd take Bear back to the car. Ellen said she'd go with me and Gary said he'd be along in a moment. The guard rose to go with us.

  I said, “Nah. Sit tight. We won't get lost."

  Ellen didn't speak on the way to the car and she didn't wait for me to get her door, so I put Bear on the back seat and got in. We sat there in silence for some time before Ellen turned in her seat to speak to me.

  "Thank you for protecting me, Ed. I just wish you could have avoided killing the snake. Was it really necessary? Couldn't you have used your stunner?"

  "Let's get something straight, Ellen. I didn't kill the snake. You did. I told you exactly what to do and you didn't do it. You fucked up totally. I used my gun because I have confidence in my abilities with it and it was no time to be trying strange new weapons I haven't mastered."

  "But..."

  "But nothing. Did I tell you to pull your stunner before you looked?"

  "Yes, but..."

  "Did you look first and fuck up your nerves?"

  She didn't answer.

  "You killed the snake, Ellen. If you'd zapped it I could have tossed it back into the brush and we'd have been on our way with an anecdote. I'm not good enough with a stunner yet and I know it. I am good enough with a gun, so I used it."

  My watch beeped when Ellen's did. I let her answer it.

  Linda said, “Gary just told me what happened. Is everybody all right?"

  I said, “We are."

  Linda asked, “Ellen? You're okay?"

  "I'm fine, Linda."

  "You don't sound fine."

  I said, “That's because I've just chewed her ass for not following orders exactly as given, Linda. We'll get past it. Everybody will be fine by morning."

  "Ellen?"

  "He's right, Linda. I didn't handle the situation properly."

  "Well, don't either of you forget that new guys will screw up now and then."

  I said, “I'll post it on my fridge, Linda."

  "You do that, Ed. You can be damned difficult sometimes. Fearless Leader out."

  Ellen giggled. “Fearless Leader?"

  "Yeah. There used to be a cartoon show. One of the characters always referred to his boss as ‘Fearless Leader'. I tagged Linda with it a long time ago. Feel free to use it if you want. I don't think she'll mind, but if she does she'll let you know."

  "And you're the ‘Dragonfly'?"

  "Now and then. More then than now these days. It had to do with helicopters and what we called some of our other missions."

  "She said you used to be one of her Dragonfly Runners. That didn't make any sense because dragonflies don't run. They fly."

  "Linda didn't explain?"

  "No. She started crying and asked me to leave her for a while, so I did. That was before anyone told her we might be able to repair her spine. I think she was just remembering a lot of things and became depressed."

  I nodded. “She has a lot to remember from before her accident. She was probably missing her legs."

  Ellen didn't say anything for a moment, then, “If you treated her as you have me, her legs weren't all she was missing, Ed. We were talking about you."

  She didn't say anything else and neither did I. The awkward moment was broken by Gary's arrival. He tossed himself in and started the car.

  "What's the matter?” asked Ellen.

  "The guard is going to look for the snake's tail later. For a souvenir."

  I asked, “Are we in a hurry, or can we find it first and hide it?"

  After a quick look at each other we got out and started looking. Gary found it near where Ellen had been standing and threw it deep into the brush and we raced back to the car like a bunch of kids. The guard came to the door and looked out as if wondering why we were still there, which gave Ellen a case of the giggles.

  Gary waved to him and headed us back down the sandy road toward civilization and said, “Somebody tell me why we did that."

  Ellen said, “I don't know, but it felt good. And there's something wrong with keeping animal parts as tokens, I think. It's disrespectful."

  I said, “To keep him from having something to lie about to his buddies."

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ellen's and my relationship was somewhat strained for a while. I recognized that she had a duty to the ship concerning Elkor, but it was several days before I defrosted enough about his lobotomy to respond to her beyond the basics of her mission and my role in assisting and protecting her, and it happened then only because Linda took a hand in things after Ellen called her for advice.

  That was a fairly maddening time for me. Ellen wore her jogging suit or less around the house as she had on the ship and tended to wear only slightly more conservative attire when we went to the grocery store or other places.

  The sight of her affected me intensely and fairly obviously and she was very well aware of it. Now and then we'd have to squeeze past each other in the hallway or the kitchen, and Ellen's way of things was to simply stand there and let me do all the squeezing to get past or around her.

  During one such incident of passing in the hallway, she grabbed my arm and said, “Let's talk about this, Ed. Let's have what we had before. I didn't do anything to Elkor that wasn't in the best interests of the ship and the mission."

  I looked her over from head to toe and almost gave in to her sincerity, but something held me back. Pride?
Today it seems ridiculous, but at the time it seemed a point of honor, somehow, to resist her as Elkor had been unable to do.

  "I have to finish installing some things on my own computer, Ellen. We're working together well enough as things are, I think."

  Apparently I was wrong about that. Ellen called Linda that afternoon to request another protector. Linda called me and told me to have a long talk with Elkor before I made a bigger fool of myself. I told her that Elkor had told me that he couldn't discuss his programming with me. She told me again to talk to Elkor.

  Elkor still wouldn't discuss his programming, but he was back to addressing me as ‘Ed’ instead of ‘sir’ and asked if I would like a copy of his incomplete Bear research. When I said I would he downloaded it to my pad.

  As each of several sounds played from the pad's speaker Elkor made an effort to define their meanings. Bear immediately came running when he heard his own voice. He couldn't figure out what the hell was going on, but when Elkor talked to him and interspersed his words with Bear sounds, it seemed as if some level of real communication had been reached.

  Ellen had seen Bear running and had come to see what was going on in my computer room. She stood in the doorway, leaning on the jamb, as Elkor and I wrapped up the presentation and signed off.

  "Well?” she asked. “Did I lobotomize Elkor?"

  "It sure doesn't seem that way, does it? I'm sorry, Ellen. Why didn't you tell me more about what you'd done?"

  "How much of it would you have understood? It isn't the kind of programming you're familiar with at all. Why couldn't you have just taken my word that I hadn't harmed him?"

  "His last words when we left made me think you'd torn out his ... self. You could have at least tried to explain."

  "You weren't in a mood to believe me then and he hadn't adjusted to the new matrixes yet. He was running on what you could call default parameters, Ed."

  I sighed and asked if it was too late to try again.

  Ellen made a show of giving the matter vast and deep thought, then said that since she'd erred so seriously with the snake we could consider ourselves even.

  The rest of that afternoon and evening was devoted to the revelry of reestablishing ourselves with each other. When we were so spent that neither of us could face much more pleasure that evening, Ellen called Linda to tell her that things were better between us. 'Better' was the word she used and she didn't go into any great detail. She simply thanked Linda for her assistance.