Major Monster Mess

by Andres Miedoso

  CONTENTS

  Chapter One: The Purple Milkshake

  Chapter Two: Mrs. Tray

  Chapter Three: I Smell Monsters

  Chapter Four: The Elm Street House

  Chapter Five: Spilling the Beans

  Chapter Six: Rotted Luck

  Chapter Seven: Monsters Love to Eat

  Chapter Eight: Dark and Early

  Chapter Nine: Catch-a-Tony

  Chapter Ten: Monster Menu

  About the Author and Illustrator

  CHAPTER ONE

  THE PURPLE MILKSHAKE

  When it comes to school cafeterias, I’ve learned that they are always a mystery. Sometimes they are great! Sometimes they are the grossest places in the world. The problem is that you never know which one you’ll get until you eat there.

  See? That’s me . . . not eating the most horrible food ever.

  But that all changed when I moved to Kersville. The cafeteria here at Kersville Elementary is one of a kind.

  The food is excellent, according to my best friend, Desmond Cole. Whether it’s Macaroni-and-Cheese Monday or Fried-Chicken Friday, the food always makes him happy.

  So do the cafeteria workers. They must really like Desmond because they always give him extra food. They even make him special treats. One time they made a purple milkshake just for him.

  I don’t know what made it purple, and I didn’t ask!

  Desmond thinks the cafeteria is perfect. But my parents always say: If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. That’s what I thought about my new cafeteria: It seemed too good to be true.

  If only I knew how right I was!

  CHAPTER TWO

  Mrs. Tray

  It all started on a Monday. We were on our way to the cafeteria, and I was carrying my lunch box.

  “I will never understand why you keep bringing lunch from home,” Desmond said. “I’m telling you, our cafeteria makes the best food.”

  “I like bringing my lunch,” I told him. Plus, I really loved my lunch box. It had a fire-breathing dragon on it.

  Then Desmond added, “Well, the food here is way better than anything my parents make.”

  Desmond’s parents were really great people, but there was one thing they weren’t so great at: cooking. It was no wonder he liked the cafeteria food better.

  “Well, you haven’t tried my mom’s empanadas,” I said. Empanadas were my all-time favorite thing to eat ever since I was a little kid.

  As soon as we reached the lunchroom, Desmond grabbed a tray and got in line. I followed him and watched as the servers plopped mounds of food on his plate. I had to admit, everything looked really yummy.

  When we got to the end of the line, we saw Mrs. Tray. She was in charge of the cafeteria. She was also one of the nicest grown-ups at our school.

  Mrs. Tray sniffed the air. “Andres, what’s that wonderful smell?”

  “That’s my mom’s empanadas,” I said proudly. “She puts lots of spices in them.”

  “They smell amazing,” Mrs. Tray said. “You are one lucky boy.”

  “I know,” I said, smiling.

  Desmond carried his heavy tray over to one of the empty tables. When he set it down, it made a loud THUD. He had a lot of food!

  As he dug in, I opened my lunch box and unwrapped the crescent-shaped pies. They were stuffed full of meat and vegetables. I started to drool as the spicy smell hit my nose.

  Even Desmond stopped eating to take a whiff.

  “Do you want a bite?” I asked him.

  “No, thanks,” he said. “I have more than enough here.” He went back to eating.

  That was when I heard something strange. It sounded like a pair of wings flapping over my head, but when I looked up, there wasn’t anything there.

  Suddenly, Mrs. Tray was right next to me. She took another sniff of my empanadas, then started cleaning up my lunch. It was nice of her, but the only problem was, I wasn’t finished eating yet!

  Then she grabbed my empanada, but I held on tight.

  “Mrs. Tray, I’m still eating my lunch,” I explained.

  With a strange look Mrs. Tray let go and apologized. Then she marched into the cafeteria’s kitchen through a set of swinging doors.

  As the doors swung open, I thought I saw something. It was a very, very, very hairy arm. And that very, very, very hairy arm was purple!

  Before I could get a better look, Desmond tapped my shoulder. “Hey, are you going to finish that last empanada?”

  “Um,” I said, but it was too late. Desmond reached into my lunch box and snagged my empanada.

  I was quick enough to save my food from Mrs. Tray, but I had to be a lot faster to beat Desmond Cole!

  CHAPTER THREE

  I Smell Monsters

  The next morning I was excited to see my dad making a chicken salad sandwich for my lunch. He uses a secret ingredient. He cuts up green grapes and mixes them in.

  It looks like a regular sandwich until you bite into it.

  Then it’s a sweet and chicken-y flavor explosion in your mouth. I couldn’t wait for lunchtime!

  I grabbed my lunch box, hooked it on to my backpack, and headed to the garage to get my bike.

  Only I wasn’t alone in the garage. Zax was already there. He’s the ghost that lives in my basement.

  Believe me, that’s something I never thought I’d say.

  “Andres, can I ask you something?” Zax said.

  “Okay, but make it fast,” I told him. “I need to get to school.”

  Zax nodded and said, “Have you been hanging out with monsters?”

  Me? Andres Miedoso? Hanging out with monsters? Ha!

  I laughed out loud. “Impossible! There’s no such thing as monsters . . . right?”

  All of a sudden I wasn’t so sure anymore. I mean, there I was talking to a ghost. Anything was possible in Kersville.

  What if I had been hanging out with monsters without knowing it? Maybe monsters were really good at hiding. Maybe monsters were able to make themselves look like regular kids one minute and then change into ugly beasts the next. I didn’t know.

  “Zax,” I said, “is there a way to know if I’ve been around monsters?”

  “Oh, trust me. You would know,” Zax replied. “Monsters have a very strong odor. If you haven’t smelled anything funny, then you’re good.”

  Phew! Good. Zax had me worried. But I was not thrilled to know that monsters were real.

  I climbed on my bike and was about to pedal off when I stopped.

  “Hey, Zax,” I said. “Why did you ask about monsters?”

  “Oh, simple,” he said. “Because I smell monsters all over you.”

  That was when I fell off my bike.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The Elm Street House

  I rode my bike to school extra fast that day.

  Why?

  Because I smelled like monsters. And if I smelled like monsters, that meant there were monsters close by.

  Close to me!

  I swallowed hard and pedaled harder. How in the world could I smell like monsters? I wondered. It didn’t make any sense.

  I rounded the corner onto Elm Street and saw the big house I passed every day. It was creepy-looking, even in the daytime. The gray paint was peeling, and the big windows had broken panes. There was no way anyone normal lived there.

  Trees surrounded the house, and their branches crisscrossed in front like they were trying to hide the whole place. The house looked dark and scary.

  I stopped to get a good look behind all those branches. If monsters are in Kersville, they would totally live here, I thought. And maybe that’s why I smelled like them! Like I said, I passed this house every day.

 
As I stood there, trying to spot any monsters in the windows, the street got quiet. My leg was shaking and my mouth was hanging open, but I couldn’t help it. I was looking for monsters and hoping I wouldn’t see any at the same time.

  Finally, I realized I had to go. I didn’t want to be late for school. So I took off again on my bike!

  As I sped down the street fast, I wondered if Zax was crazy. Or maybe he was just pulling my leg.

  By the way, that didn’t mean what it sounded like. It was just another way of saying that Zax might have been teasing me.

  Well, two can play that game!

  I was thinking of a way to get back at Zax when I heard that same odd sound from the cafeteria yesterday. It sounded like wings flapping and swooping overhead.

  I picked up speed, but the sound followed me. And that’s when I saw it: A black shadow streaked across the ground and flew right behind me!

  Then something grabbed my backpack and wouldn’t let go! The shadow was trying to pull me off my bike.

  Quickly, I did the only thing I could think of: I swerved off the road and crashed into the prickliest briar bush I could find.

  The shadow yowled and let go. To be honest I yowled too because OUCH! Turns out, crashing into a briar bush wasn’t the best idea in the world!

  Still, it worked. I had scared off that shadowy monster, or whatever it was.

  I checked my backpack, but there wasn’t a scratch on it. My lunch box, on the other hand, was another story.

  My favorite lunch box was completely wrecked.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Spilling the Beans

  As soon as I got to school, I had to tell Desmond what happened. It’s not every day you’re attacked by a shadow monster! But we were way too busy in class, and there was really no time to talk.

  So, I had to wait until lunch.

  Let me tell you—it was really hard to hold on to a secret that huge for such a long time.

  In the cafeteria line I whispered to Desmond, “I have to tell you what happened to me on the way to school this morning.”

  “Okay,” he said. “But not right now. It’s Taco Tuesday!”

  “This is important!” I said.

  That was when Mrs. Tray came over to us. “Hello, boys,” she said. “My, what happened to your lunch box, Andres?”

  “It’s a long story,” I said, and there was no way I was going to tell her. She wouldn’t believe it anyway.

  Still, Mrs. Tray stared at my lunch box. “What did you bring for lunch today?”

  “My dad’s chicken salad sandwich,” I said. “He has a secret ingredient.”

  “Well, it smells wonderful,” she said. I thought she was going to walk away to talk to some other kids, but she didn’t. She just stood there, staring and sniffing!

  I hope she doesn’t try to grab my food again, I thought.

  While Desmond got his lunch, I whispered to him, “Hurry up. We have to talk. I have—”

  That was when Mrs. Tray interrupted me again. “So, what’s the secret ingredient?

  Black olives? Yellow curry? Green peppers?”

  “I can’t tell anyone,” I said. “Or it won’t be a secret anymore.”

  Finally, Desmond turned around with a mountain of tacos. We found a table where we could talk alone. That was when I spilled the beans . . . like for real. I spilled the beans from one of Desmond’s tacos!

  It was an accident, but at least I’d gotten his attention.

  After I cleaned up the mess, I told Desmond what Zax had said about monsters. And I told him about being attacked by a shadow on the way to school.

  Talking about it made me start to feel scared all over again.

  “Whoa,” Desmond said, putting his taco down. “That’s a crazy story!”

  I knew he meant it. Desmond doesn’t put his food down for just anything. But he loves mysteries! That’s exactly why he started the Ghost Patrol!

  “I know what we should do,” said Desmond. “Let’s talk to Zax after school. Maybe he can help us find these monsters. We need to see what they want.”

  “Uh, um, uh . . . ,” I started, not sure I really wanted to find the monsters. But I knew Desmond wouldn’t drop this until he had all the answers. “I—I guess so,” I said.

  I unwrapped my chicken salad sandwich. It had survived the attack of the shadow monster and the bike crash, but it was super-duper squished. I took a bite. Luckily, it still tasted great!

  Good thing too. If Desmond was serious about finding the monsters, it might just be my last meal!

  CHAPTER SIX

  Rotted Luck

  On the way home, Desmond and I rode our bikes to the mystery house on Elm Street. I don’t want to say we were snooping. We were just curious. Really curious.

  Oh, all right, we were snooping. Can you blame us?

  We got off our bikes and looked up at the big house. Even though it was a sunny afternoon, there were thick clouds overhead and heavy fog surrounding the house. Only that house.

  It was so weird.

  Desmond took a deep breath and pushed open the rickety fence.

  “W-wait,” I said. “What are you doing?”

  “We have to get closer,” Desmond said.

  He was perfectly calm, but I wasn’t. I was already as close as I ever wanted to get to that house.

  “Come on,” Desmond said.

  We walked up the path, which was covered with weeds and fallen branches. When we got to the house, there were four steps in front, but the wood was rotted and bendy. We had to climb them very carefully.

  The house was even creepier up close. Now I could see the spiderwebs covering the broken windows. When I looked inside, it was all pitch black except for one candle glowing in the corner of the dark, dark room.

  “No monsters here,” I said quickly. “I think it’s time to go home.”

  I knew what Desmond was going to say before he opened his mouth. “No way. If there are monsters in Kersville, then we need to know what they’re up to.”

  My heart dropped. Even if monsters didn’t live here, Desmond wasn’t going to give up his search.

  So, we did what we had to do. We walked around the whole house, and man, was that hard. The weeds were so thick and so tall, it was like we were in a forest. That yard hadn’t seen a lawn mower in forever!

  “I hope we don’t get lost back here,” I said, laughing. “Nobody would ever find us.”

  “I know,” Desmond said. “These weeds are taller than me!”

  Just then the sweetest smell in the world drifted through the air. It smelled like apples and sugar and cinnamon—like the freshest and yummiest baked apple pie that ever existed.

  And the smell was coming from inside the house!

  Desmond walked back toward the front door without even saying anything. He looked like he was under a spell or something.

  I followed Desmond as he walked back up the rotted steps. Slowly, the front door opened. And yes, it made a very scary creaking sound, of course.

  But you will never guess who opened the door.

  Never!

  It was Mrs. Tray! “Well, I’ll be. Desmond? Andres? What are you boys doing here at my home?”

  My eyes were opened wide, and I was too surprised to say anything.

  Luckily, Desmond Cole was quick, quick, quick. “We were, uh, riding home when we smelled something delicious!” he said. “Are you baking a pie?”

  Mrs. Tray smiled. “As a matter of fact, I am,” she said. “I’m testing out a new pie recipe for school.”

  Then she just stood there and didn’t say anything else. She was so quiet, we could hear those juicy pies baking.

  Desmond looked at Mrs. Tray, studying her. But I just wanted to get out of there. Sure, Mrs. Tray was nice, but I did not want her to invite us into her super-creepy home.

  I broke the silence and said, “I can’t wait to try your new pie at school one day.” Then I grabbed Desmond’s arm. “Unfortunately, Desmond and I have to run now.”


  And that’s just what we did.

  Run!

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Monsters Love to Eat

  Back at my house, we went up to my room. Zax was on my bed, reading one of my books. Is this what he does all day? I asked myself.

  I closed the door behind us and said, “Zax, you have to tell us what you know about monsters!”

  The ghost sat up. Or rather, he kind of floated up. “No problem,” he said. “Well, the first thing you should know is that monsters love to eat. And they love kids.”

  I gulped and tried to keep myself from freaking out. “D-do you mean they love to eat kids?” My voice cracked when I asked the question.

  Both Zax and Desmond gave me a look that said, “Cool it, Andres.”

  So I tried to relax.

  Zax explained himself. “Monsters love eating food. They also love kids, but not to eat. No, no, no. Kids taste gross.”

  Desmond and I glanced at each other. How would Zax know what kids taste like?

  Actually, I didn’t want to know!

  Then Zax continued. “You know, monsters are nothing like what you see in the movies. Real monsters hang out in large groups, not by themselves. But they don’t want humans to see them. You wouldn’t either if you had fangs, claws, and fur all over your body.”

  Desmond and I nodded. That made sense.