The Crushes

by Pamela Wells

  “Work was fine,” Sydney answered absently, scanning the faces for someone familiar. Her friends were supposed to be meeting her here. Raven said to meet by this entrance, but Sydney didn’t see her, or anyone for that matter.

  “Sydney?” Drew called. “You have to get your bracelet.”

  Sydney went to the ticket booth and stuck her arm inside the little opening at the bottom of the Plexiglas window. The large woman on the other side wound a pink plastic bracelet around Sydney’s wrist and tightened it into place, snipping off the excess with a pair of scissors.

  “Enjoy the carnival,” the woman said.

  “Thanks.” Sydney twirled the bracelet around. “What color did you get?”

  Drew held up his, frowning. “Same color.”

  Sydney laughed. “It looks good on you.”

  The frown disappeared and Drew smiled. “Thanks.” He put his arm around Sydney’s shoulders and pulled her into him. “I haven’t heard you laugh in a while. I missed it.”

  Sydney shrugged. “It’s just been…rough, you know, at home. My dad seems barely able to function and…” She trailed off. She wanted to be able to vent to Drew, but she just didn’t have the energy. She’d rather push it to the back of her mind and not deal with it. At least not now. “Let’s just try to have fun tonight, okay?”

  “Sure. I can’t wait to try the Zipper.”

  Sydney cringed. “About that—I don’t think I’m getting on.”

  Drew groaned. “Oh, come on. You have to try.”

  “I don’t know.”

  They walked a while, silent, passing several kiddie rides and games.

  “Sydney!”

  Sydney looked over toward a game booth dominated by teddy bears the size of a St. Bernard. Raven, Alexia, and Kelly waved. Horace grabbed a teddy bear from the man behind the booth front. Ben congratulated Horace on his “exceptional squirt gun skills” while Todd laughed at the very small difference in size between Horace and his new toy.

  The group converged in the center of the midway.

  “That shirt looks cute on you,” Kelly said, nodding at Sydney’s new shirt. It was the white one with the red hearts down the front. She’d worn it to work with a pair of black pants, but changed at the end of the day into a distressed jean miniskirt and threw on a black beaded necklace, too.

  “Thanks,” Sydney said. “It’s comfy.”

  Kelly smiled, but it came off awkward for some reason. She shifted, the smile fading when she glanced next at Drew. He shuffled his weight around and looked at the ground.

  Sydney wasn’t allowed a moment to dwell on their weird behavior because Drew grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away. “Let’s do the Zipper first.” He nodded in the ride’s direction.

  It was the tallest ride at the carnival. The teardrop cages whipped around the ride, some cages spinning uncontrollably. Screams sounded from the top, carrying all the way down the midway to Sydney. She wasn’t going anywhere near that ride.

  “Whoever screams first is a sissy,” Ben said.

  “Ohh,” Kelly said. “I’ve been wanting to ride that one.”

  “If you cry, I’ll never let you forget it,” Todd said.

  “I’m not going to cry!” Kelly gave him a shove. “Besides, who was the one crying at the end of Brother Bear?”

  “I was seven years old!” he said.

  “You were thirteen!”

  “Stop fighting, you two,” Drew said, stepping between Kelly and Todd. “Come on, let’s go get on the Zipper.” Drew motioned for Kelly to follow him, but Kelly shook her head and fell back by Raven, who was avoiding everyone but Horace.

  Sydney sensed tension in the group, but she couldn’t quite figure out where it was coming from. Alexia and Raven maybe? They hadn’t said one word to each other since Sydney arrived. There was something odd going on with Kelly, too.

  “Hey, Syd?” Drew said. “Are you coming?”

  “I told you I didn’t want to,” she answered quietly, hoping no one made fun of her for being a “chicken.” Todd would make fun of her because he was an idiot.

  “I’ll be with you,” Drew said. “It’s not that bad. I swear.”

  How would he know? The ride was new this year. He’d never ridden it before. The group had pulled ahead of Sydney and Drew, making their way to the Zipper.

  “Just try this one ride for me,” Drew said, “and then we’ll do whatever you want.”

  Sydney looked over at the Zipper again, at the cages whipping around. Her heart hammered in her chest just thinking about climbing on there, but she wanted to please Drew. She wanted to show him that she was open to new things.

  “All right,” she said. “Just one ride.”

  The door on the cage slammed shut. The ride operator pulled down the latch, locking Sydney and Drew inside. Sydney pulled in a deep breath, sweat beading on the nape of her neck and below her nose.

  Oh god, she wanted out so bad. She wanted to plant her feet on the ground and stay there.

  Their cage moved up one level so Raven and Horace could pile in the next cage. It went on like that for another five minutes or so as the ride operator filled the rest of the cages with new riders. Sydney and Drew’s cage inched up to the sky. When they reached the highest point of the ride, Sydney clutched the handle on the door, squeezing her eyes shut.

  “I wish you hadn’t talked me into this,” she muttered, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

  “You’ll be fine.” Drew put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “Oh, here it goes.”

  Their cage moved and kept moving. Through the metal door, Sydney saw the ground rush up to them and then disappear, replaced with the sky as the “zipper” ran around and around. The faster the ride went, the more unstable Sydney and Drew’s cage became. It rocked back and forth, so that at one point Sydney was parallel with the ground and then a second later completely upside down.

  Her stomach rolled, her heart quickening.

  “I think I’m going to be sick!” she screamed as Drew screeched with delight.

  Sydney wiped her mouth with a wet paper towel. She flushed the toilet, her lunch swirling down the drain with the disappearing water.

  “You okay?” Alexia asked, pulling Sydney’s hair back.

  “I think so.” Sydney stood up. Her head was still woozy, the world rocking back and forth like it had on the ride. She shuffled out of the bathroom with Alexia, Raven, and Kelly behind her. Drew rushed up, offering a bottle of water.

  “I’m so sorry, Syd,” he said. “I really didn’t think it’d affect you that badly.”

  “I told you I don’t like those kinds of rides,” she said, taking the water and drinking quickly, hoping to get the vomit taste out of her mouth.

  “I know. Again, I’m sorry. Really.” Drew pulled her into a hug and kissed her atop the head. “I love you. Do you still love me?” he asked, laughing lightly.

  Sydney sighed. “Yes, of course I love you.”

  She just wished he’d listen to her more. And it wouldn’t be so bad if they both liked the same stupid carnival rides.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Rule 11: Act distant but interested! Guys love a challenge!

  Raven typed in the Web address Horace had given her earlier at Scrappe and hit ENTER. She sipped from the hot chai Horace had made her while she waited for the screen to load.

  The audio played before the graphics popped up on the hot-pink background. Kay-J’s soft, syrupy sweet voice accompanied quick pop beats. A second later, a picture of her loaded, her wide, ultra-white smile matching her white tunic tank top.

  Raven read the front-page text.

  Hey! It’s Kay-J! Thanks for stopping by. If you’re here on the site, I assume you’ve heard about the new show I’m doing called Back Up Kay-J. We’re looking for one backup singer to accompany me on next summer’s tour.

  Not only will the lucky winner get to travel the world, but she/he will also record one song for my new album, Rockin’ the Pink
.

  I’m excited to meet everyone and hear your voices!

  Check out the auditions page for details!

  XOXO

  Kay-J

  Raven turned down the volume on the computer to quiet the up-tempo beats.

  So, okay, Kay-J was pretty good, and her music had that weird, infectious vibe to it that made even the laziest people get up and dance.

  But that wasn’t Raven’s kind of music. Couldn’t Horace understand that?

  Sighing, she clicked on the AUDITIONS link and brought up a new page.

  She scanned the dates and locations. There was an audition next week in California. Way too far away. One week later, auditions were in New York. That was like a two-hour drive from Birch Falls. That was manageable.

  If Raven even decided she wanted to try out, that is.

  In the meantime, just in case she did go to the city and audition, Raven figured she’d better know the songs she would be asked to sing. She downloaded a few Kay-J tracks to her iPod and went for a walk.

  As she headed down her driveway, sunglasses in place, she scanned Blake’s house, looking for any sign of life. She hadn’t seen him in the five days since she’d had the argument with Alexia out in front of his house.

  The front windows of his house were dark now. The large upstairs window—the one Raven guessed had to be Blake’s room—was covered with dark curtains.

  Had he jetted off to somewhere else? What if he didn’t come back?

  Who cares? she thought. Not me.

  She turned up the volume on her iPod when a few kids down the block screamed as they ran through a sprinkler.

  Raven tried to focus on the music.

  Kay-J’s music was undeniably pop commercial. There wasn’t a lot of depth to her lyrics. Probably she didn’t even write them herself. The first track Raven listened to was about a breakup that Kay-J blamed herself for.

  The second track, with a speedier tempo, was about a beach party, if Raven was hearing the lyrics right.

  She listened to the second track over and over again, memorizing the lyrics. The chorus was quick and catchy and Raven was singing it quietly by the third listen.

  As she ambled down the sidewalk, a large, black SUV rolled to a stop at the curb. The passenger-side window came down and Raven glanced inside.

  It was Blake.

  She sucked in a breath. The corners of her mouth curved into a relieved smile. He was still around. He wasn’t leaving Birch Falls for some big city.

  Pausing the iPod, Raven popped the earbuds from her ears and walked over to the SUV.

  “Hey,” she said, trying to act uninterested. “You’re home.”

  “I got in two days ago but…” He rubbed his puffy bottom lip with his index finger. “Well, let’s just say I was under the weather.”

  Raven arched a brow. “Party too hard?”

  “Something like that.”

  Had he been out there hooking up with random girls? Jealousy wedged in her gut, and she scrambled for the Crush Code instinctively.

  The only rule she could remember said to act distant but interested.

  Who came up with that rule anyway?

  How could you be distant but interested? Seriously.

  Probably it was best for her just to act distant.

  Especially after Alexia accused her of cheating on Horace with Blake. Keeping her distance would prove to Alexia that Raven was faithful, and then Raven could rub it in her face.

  Raven pushed away from the SUV’s gleaming black body and blacked-out wheels. “Well, I’m sorta busy, so I’ll catch you later?”

  He cleared his throat, pulled down his hat an inch. “Yeah. Okay.”

  “Bye.” She waggled her fingers and smiled triumphantly.

  Uh-oh, she thought as Blake grinned and waved back. I just acted distant but then threw him an interested departing gesture.

  Great.

  TWENTY-NINE

  After a terrible day at work (a chaotic lunch rush, a batch of burned bread, and a plugged sink drain), all Alexia wanted to do was relax. She’d take a shower, get into some comfy clothes, and hang out in her bedroom watching Romeo and Juliet.

  But as soon as she opened the front door and kicked off her shoes, her parents appeared out of nowhere, their mouths set in a grim line. Alexia knew “relax” wasn’t going to be possible.

  “We need to talk,” Dr. Bass said. “Come into the office.”

  They disappeared down the hallway.

  Alexia just stood there for a second trying to calculate her chances for escape. And if she succeeded with escape, how far would she get before her parents called the cops?

  Sighing, she went to the office slowly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good. This just smelled like trouble.

  When she entered the office, her mother shut the door. Her dad sat behind his desk in his large leather chair. He pulled off his glasses and set them on the clean desktop. Alexia’s mom, perched now on the edge of the desk, folded her hands, setting them on her knee. Alexia sat across from her parents. Every nerve in her body snapped and her brain yelled, Run!

  “Tell me,” Dr. Bass said, grabbing something from his desk drawer, “what this is.”

  The blood pooled in Alexia’s cheeks when she saw what was in her father’s hand.

  A condom.

  More specifically, the condom Ben had given her, the one in the shiny red wrapper that said RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE! right across the front.

  Crap.

  “Um…”

  If she pretended not to know, would they buy it?

  “I’m really disappointed in you, Alexia,” her mom said. She took in a breath. “I thought we had discussed waiting.”

  Alexia shifted, bit her lip. She already felt conflicted enough about losing her virginity and now her parents were lecturing her about it? Tears welled behind her lids. A burning sensation filled her throat.

  “I…”

  “I suspected you and Benjamin were getting too serious.” Dr. Bass shook his head. “I should have put my foot down. But I will now before it’s too late.”

  Alexia shook when her breath faltered with the tears.

  “You’re grounded,” Dr. Bass said, “and I think you need to be spending a little more time with your friends and a little less time with your boyfriend.”

  She just stared at them, her teeth clenched, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t know what to say.

  “Is there anything you have to say?” her mom asked, furrowing her brow.

  Alexia shook her head and swiped at the tears.

  “You’re excused, then,” her dad said.

  Alexia got up and left.

  When her phone rang around eleven that night, Alexia dove for it before her parents heard the ring and took the phone from her. They hadn’t exactly gone over the terms of the grounding, and she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be using the cell or not.

  A picture of Ben popped up on the screen. Alexia answered, “Hello?”

  “Hey! What are you doing? I thought you were going to call me when you got home from work.”

  “I was. I just got sidetracked.”

  Should she tell him about the condom and the grounding? It was almost too embarrassing. And what was he going to think about her parents’ advice to break away from him?

  It’d be just like him to drive over here and confront her parents. He’d try to charm his way back into their good graces.

  No, Alexia thought, better to wait.

  “Is it too late to come over?” he asked.

  “Probably.” She listened to the sounds coming from downstairs. Her parents and her brother were watching a new movie. It didn’t sound like anyone had noticed the phone ringing.

  Ben sighed. “I guess I’ll just go ahead and tell you over the phone, then.”

  Alexia froze. “Tell me what?” What was he talking about?

  “I finally decided what I’m doing this fall.”

  “What?” He’d already received
a handful of acceptances from colleges in the area. He’d been adamant about choosing. Alexia wouldn’t say so out loud, but she’d wanted him to choose something closer to home so they could see each other.

  “I’ve decided,” he began, “that I’m going with Will to Pepperdine University.”

  Alexia’s mouth dropped open. She blinked. Furrowed her brow. Had she just heard him right?

  “Pepperdine? Like Pepperdine in California?”

  “I know it’s far, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I just didn’t want to say anything and scare you.”

  It felt like her heart had stopped beating.

  The air in her lungs felt stale and cold.

  “Lexy?”

  California?

  “Lexy, you’re mad, aren’t you?”

  “No,” she said, maybe a bit too quickly. “I’m just…”

  “In shock. That’s why I wanted to tell you face-to-face, but I just couldn’t wait.”

  Pulling in a breath, she sat up straighter and tried to organize her thoughts. “So, you’re for sure going? Or you’re just thinking about it?”

  Maybe there was still time to talk him out of it!

  “I already decided. Will and I signed up for classes. We leave August twenty-ninth.”

  Oh.

  “That’s…really soon.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Ben.”

  “I know.”

  Alexia sat down on her bed and held her head in her hands. She’d just lost her virginity to someone who was moving to the other side of the country. It might as well be Iceland!

  She’d already cried a billion times today but suddenly felt on the verge again. Hadn’t she completely drained her tear well? Apparently not. They slipped from the corners of her eyes. Her breath shuddered down her throat.

  “Are you crying?” Ben asked, his voice soft and concerned.

  “No.” She swallowed. She had to get off the phone before she really started balling. “I have to go.”