Devil's Fork

by Jesse Jacobson

  “Hey Jolly, have you ever kissed a girl in this river?”

  “Is that an offer?” I asked.

  “Maybe,” she replied, coyly. “It’s a question for the moment. So… have you kissed a girl in this river?”

  “A gentleman never discusses such matters,” I replied. I glanced at Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins briefly. They still seemed unaware of anything going on around them.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” she said. “C’mon, live a little. Hop in.”

  “I’d love to no, I can’t. Even though ToeJam is my best friend, he’s also my supervisor. He would not be happy.”

  She floated on her back, treading water, giving me a long look at her incredible body, “That’s too bad, Jolly. I was hoping you could help me scratch off an item from my bucket list.”

  My face turned a little red, and I chuckled. It was the second time today a woman had offered to use me for a bucket list entry.

  “Can you see Jeannie? I don’t see her,” Mr. Jenkins called out. I turned to face him. From his expression I knew he busted me sitting there with a shit-eating grin on my face.

  “Yes sir,” I replied sheepishly. “She’s swimming back here.”

  “Jeannie,” he called out loudly. “Everything ok?”

  “Everything’s fine, dad,” she called back. “I’m just swimming.”

  ToeJam must have felt trouble brewing because he blew the whistle about ten minutes early and everyone climbed back on board. We started down the river again.

  Two hours later I saw a flash of light coming from the woods off the west bank of the river. It triggered a memory from my days in the Navy. At first, I dismissed it, then I thought about it again. I pulled binoculars out of my pack and made a visual inspection the heavily wooded area. I saw nothing. It was probably sunlight reflecting off some shiny surface, but it seemed odd. I’d seen nothing like it during previous trips. I took another long look through my binoculars. Again, I saw nothing.

  About an hour before we reached our lunch stop, we guided our rafts down a series of class two and three rapids. It was old hat for us but enough to bring out squeals of joy among the passengers. Everyone got wet and was having a ball. Even Mr. Jenkins was smiling.

  We reached our first stop, called The Side Canyon, without incident. The Side Canyon was a beautiful area where the guests could set out on a quick exploration, relax or jump off a thirty-foot cliff into a pool of the clearest water you could imagine. There was a natural waterfall within walking distance. The base of the waterfall was waist deep.

  I looked at my watch. We were four hours and thirty minutes into the trip, running about a half hour behind schedule. We would pick up the pace a little when we got on the water again.

  The guests looked exhilarated and happy. It was early yet, but so far everyone, including Grumpy McGrumpy pants, seemed to be having a good time.

  “ToeJam and I will prepare lunch,” I yelled out once everyone was on land. “If you’re a strong swimmer, there’s a great diving spot called The Watering Hole forty yards to the north. If you’d like to go for a hike, you can walk along the riverbank or hike to the waterfall, but I’ll warn you, the path to the waterfall is very rocky. I’ve seen many people limp back on twisted ankles so be careful. Remember, you manage your own safety out there. There are no lifeguards around. Don’t swim alone. We will set up lawn chairs in the shade, so if you want to relax you can do that too. There is a porta-potty down the main trail about ten yards. Please respect each other’s privacy. Have fun. Lunch is in forty-five minutes.”

  The guests from both boats were all smiles as they dispersed. Toe and I unpacked what we needed from the K-Raft when Jeannie approached.

  “I was thinking about taking that hike to the waterfall,” she said. “Care to join me?”

  “No thank you,” I replied. “Maybe you go do something with your mom and dad.”

  “Mom and dad have chosen the ‘lawn chair and relax’ option,” she said. “That means they’ll be asleep in ten minutes.”

  “Oh… well, I’d love to go, but I have to unload supplies and help prepare lunch.”

  She looked disappointed and shrugged, “That’s a pity,” she said. I watched her playful grin fade. She turned and walked away. Toe and I both took in her long legs and her rich, flowing chestnut hair as she walked away.

  “Whew,” Toe said. “That is one fine woman.”

  “You got that right,” I agreed.

  “What’s for lunch?” Mr. Jenkins asked, approaching from behind. I was certain he busted Toe and I checking out his daughter’s backside.

  “Turkey, ham, pastrami and roast beef sandwiches, assorted breads, assorted cheeses, lettuce, tomato, pickles, olives and red onion,” I replied from memory. “We have pre-made salad, chips, lemonade and water, too.”

  “I think we got off on the wrong foot, Jolly,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

  I stopped and looked into his eyes. He sounded and looked sincere— color me surprised.

  “It’s not a problem, Mr. Jenkins…” I began.

  “I think you should leave her alone,” Jenkins said.

  Toe and I both paused. I looked at my friend.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m just going to hop on the raft and get the lawn chairs,” ToeJam said, making a quick and cowardly exit.

  “I wasn’t aware I was bothering her,” I said to Jenkins.

  “Cut the shit, son,” he said. “You and I both know my daughter is gorgeous and I know she has a thing for tattoos and you beef-cake types, but what you don’t know is that she is coming off a serious breakup.”

  “Actually, she told me that.”

  “I’ll bet she didn’t tell you she almost had a nervous breakdown, did she?”

  I froze. It’s rare that I’m caught by surprise but I wasn’t expecting that.

  “She didn’t tell you, did she?” he repeated.

  I shook my head slowly, “No, she didn’t. I’m… sorry.”

  “She quit eating and went into a depression,” Jenkins continued. “My wife and I moved her back into our place—took her to see a specialist. He put her on meds. She’s just now coming around. All the smiling and laughing you see her doing right now? Some of that is a defense mechanism. She’s still hurting from the breakup.”

  My eyebrows went straight up.

  “She gave you that story about her dumping him after he asked her to marry him, didn’t she?” Jenkins continued.

  I nodded ever-so-slightly, stunned by what I heard.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said. “I know you were a SEAL and we both know how women like my daughter all flock after the military men. Am I right?”

  I shrugged.

  “Well, my daughter doesn’t need more pain, Jolly,” he said. “You live down here in god’s country. That’s great. I’m happy for you, but Jeannie… she lives in Chicago. You would be a rebound, but even if you won her heart, what then? She goes back to Chicago and you’ll stay here and be on your next adventure. It will crush her spirit. You don’t want to hurt her, do you?”

  I shook my head again, no.

  “Thanks,” he said, slapping my shoulder. “Good talk. I was hoping I could count on you.”

  Mr. Jenkins walked away just as Toe pulled brought back several folded chairs. I stood there, looking and feeling stunned.

  Chapter 5

  ToeJam set up the tables and chairs as I went about preparing lunch. The guests were off doing their thing. Toe made lemonade and poured two glasses; he handed me one. It was lemony and very sweet. The man loved his sugar.

  “Don’t you want to know what Mr. Jenkins wanted to talk about?” I asked.

  “Nope,” he said. “Not my business.”

  “You aren’t curious?”

  He looked at me and waved his hand around his crotch, “Once again… no vagina here.”

  I shrugged and turned. Toe spoke when my back was to him.

  “It’s not too hard to figure out. If I we
re Jeannie’s dad, I don’t think I’d want you around my daughter either.”

  “You’re some friend, you know that?”

  “Thank you.”

  “Again… not a compliment.”

  He took a long gulp of lemonade and used a bandana to wipe the sweat off his brow, “Ok, tell me what happened.”

  I told Toe the entire conversation. He listened. At the end he nodded to let me know he heard me.

  “Well?” I asked. “What do you think?”

  “It’s time to call the guests for lunch,” he answered.

  “No, you big doorknob, what do you think about Jeannie?”

  He shrugged, “It sounds like a crazy situation.”

  “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

  “When you talked to her, did you get a hint that she was on the verge of some breakdown?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “But Mr. Jenkins is clear he wants you to stay away from her?”

  “That’s right.”

  He drained the rest of his lemonade and sat the glass on the table in front of him.

  “You know when I was a high school senior, I had the hots for this cheerleader… Melinda.”

  “What?” I replied, giving him a confused look.

  “Melinda,” he repeated. “Man, she was hot. She was the hottest chick in school and she was into me. Every swinging dick in school had the hots for her, but she liked me, and I sure as hell liked her.”

  “I’m sure there’s a point to this story,” I said.

  “The quarterback for the football team, Earl Manson; he was head over heels for her but never let on to anyone. One day after a pep rally Earl gets me aside and offers me a joint. We’re behind the bleachers getting high and he tells me Melinda has Chlamydia.”

  “Jesus.”

  “Manson went onto say he took her out junior year and she gave it to him. Said his pecker looked like it was rotting off; said he got blisters on his tongue and mouth; said it took months to get rid of it.”

  I flinched, “That sounds awful.”

  “It turned out it was all a load of bull-hockey,” he said. “Earl just wanted Melinda for himself and wanted me out of the way, so he made up a big lie about her.”

  “Did it work?”

  “It sure as hell did,” Toe admitted. “Earl had me backpedaling at ‘pecker rot.’ I took Melinda off my wish list that day.”

  “Whatever happened to her?”

  “She and Manson live in Washington DC, now,” he said. “They have three kids last I heard.”

  “So, you think Mr. Jenkins lied to get me to stay away from his daughter?”

  He shrugged, “I don’t know. He seems protective of her. I wouldn’t rule it out. It’s probably for the best, Jolly. We have a job to do. It’d be a different story if she was here alone or with a girlfriend. We really don’t need a bunch of conflict with a wealthy passenger on this trip, you know?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.”

  I looked over to where Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins were sitting. Mr. Jenkins had his cell phone out waving it in the air, looking for a cell signal I knew would not show on his display. Maybe Toe was right. I rang the dinner bell.

  The hungrier guests flocked to the tables right away. John and James were the first to the tables and the first to compliment Toe and me on the food prep and presentation. I laid everything out according to Mountaineer Expedition Company standards.

  We had to deal with the usual questions, which involved people asking for things we didn’t have, like Grey Poupon or Asiago bread. For the most part, people seemed to enjoy their lunch.

  The last person to arrive was Jeannie. She was a vision as she approached from the natural waterfall. Her shorts were off, exposing even more of her legs and body in the stunning white one-piece bathing suit.

  “So, there’s no cell signal of any kind?” Chase Jenkins asked with a mouth full of turkey and bread. He’d caught me eyeballing his daughter again and sought to distract me.

  “Nope. I’m afraid you’re in a dead zone for the rest of the trip,” I replied, thinking if he had paid any attention to Barkley’s orientation, he would have known already.

  “What happens if we have an emergency?” he asked.

  This was getting irritating.

  “As Barkley explained in orientation, we have satellite communication on board with a GPS tracker for life-threatening emergency use only.”

  “I have an emergency,” he shot back. “I forgot to transfer funds on one of my accounts before I left.”

  “That’s not a life-threatening emergency, Mr. Jenkins,” I said in a blinding flash of the obvious.

  “I see you carry a walkie-talkie on your belt,” he said.

  “It’s short-range, so I can communicate with ToeJam on the other boat.”

  “You and I are going to have a problem, aren’t we?” he grumbled.

  Jeannie was watching her father and I interact. I made brief eye contact with her; she rolled her eyes and offered a conciliatory shrug.

  “Not if you obey our guidelines and follow my commands during the trip,” I replied, with about a third of the sass he spat in my direction.

  “Hey look, I spoke to your boss yesterday,” he said. “He told me there’d be no problem with you bending the rules here and there for one of his platinum customers.”

  That was a bald-faced lie, I knew. MEC’s owner was a villainous taskmaster when it came to his guides following the rules. Mr. Jenkins was full of crap and it made me wonder, if he lied about this, what else might he have lied about? I looked Jeannie’s way and smiled.

  “I’m the customer here,” he continued. “I need to use your satellite phone.”

  “Yes, you are the customer—a customer who signed our agreement before we left,” I told him. “It’s imperative you honor the agreement. The answer is no.”

  “You’re a rule follower, is that it? They bark. You march… right?”

  He was trying to get under my skin and doing a fair job. I had to get away from him before things got worse. If he pushed my buttons much further things would end badly for him, and then for me… later.

  “I was in the Navy, Mr. Jenkins—we follow orders, yes, but only from our superiors. The answer is no. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

  Before he could say another word, I made a beeline toward Jeannie. She smiled as I approached. She was holding a bowl half filled with salad.

  “Is my dad giving you more problems?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle. Is that all you’re going to eat?” I asked.

  “I don’t eat much,” she replied.

  I nodded. She was only one hundred fifteen pounds, tops. There was little doubt that half-filled bowls of salad were the norm for her.

  “How was the waterfall?”

  “It was wonderful. The water was incredible. I only wish you were there to enjoy it with me.”

  I waved my hand at all the lunch set out on the table, “Duty called. You understand.”

  I looked at Mr. Jenkins who was burning a hole in my backside with his eyes. I turned back to Jeannie, “You know I have about thirty minutes before I need to clean up after lunch. I was going to hit the diving spot and go for a quick swim. Care to join me?”

  “Best offer I’ve heard all day,” she said.

  “Why don’t you finish your salad and come along?”

  She sat the bowl on the table, “I’m done. Let’s go.”

  We walked past John and James who were eating sandwiches together at the table. They both smiled at Jeannie and I as we walked past. John gave me the thumbs up sign. I didn’t bother to glance in Mr. Jenkins’s direction again but I smiled at the thought of the scowl he must have been wearing on his face at the moment.

  Jeannie and I made small talk as we walked to the diving spot. I thought about revisiting the conversation about her breakup but decided against it. She was all smiles and there was a skip to her step as she walked. No need to open a subject that would enda
nger that gorgeous smile.

  When we reached the diving spot, I peeled off my shirt, revealing the tattoos on my chest and arms.

  “Holy shit!” she said, glancing up and down my torso.

  “Lots of tats, huh?” I said.

  “Actually, my reaction was to the rippling muscles on your stomach,” she said. “You look like someone chiseled you out of stone.”

  She approached and raised her hand toward me, waist high, “May I?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  She dabbed my chest with her fingertips and moved her hand down toward by belly, “Jesus, Jolly, your body is amazing.”

  “Yours is all right, too,” I replied. “May I?”

  She nodded and took in a breath. I touched her shoulder and allowed my fingers to roam down the side of her arm. I could sense her reacting to my touch. I moved my fingers back toward her shoulder, taking a lock of her beautiful wet hair between my thumb and fingers. I pulled her hair toward my nose, taking in its scent. She sighed and backed up a step.

  Too much too soon?

  “It’s about a thirty-foot dive,” I said. “Will you be ok?”

  “Absolutely,” she said, her smile reforming.

  “Let’s do this then.”

  Jeannie and I swam for about twenty minutes. She was a strong swimmer, and she looked so beautiful doing it. Her father looked furious when he saw us returning.

  He approached me again as Toe and I were packing up, preparing to leave.

  “You’re treading in dangerous waters, son,” he said.

  “First, I’m not your son. Stop calling me that. And second—was that a threat?” I asked.

  “Take it the way you want it,” he said.

  ToeJam walked past me and stood in front of Mr. Jenkins, “I’ve heard enough of this.”

  “I wasn’t talking to you,” fumed Jenkins.

  “But I’m talking to you, sir, and you damn well better listen,” Toe demanded. “Your daughter is an adult and I’ve seen zero evidence anyone is doing anything unwelcome or wrong, except for you… badgering my partner.”

  “You’re full of it,” Jenkins barked. “I told him to…”

  “I’m not finished,” he interrupted. “Ever since we first met you, you’ve been inattentive, argumentative and demanding. If this doesn’t stop, I will use that satellite phone and call for the helicopter to meet us at the campsite and take you back. I will cancel the rest of your trip, we’ll charge you for the helicopter ride, and the company will not refund your money.”