Red Letter Day

by Colette Caddle

  Kay squeezed her hand. 'Of course you do.'

  'I'm glad he feels so safe with you.'

  'You know I'll always look after him, Marina. I'm here whenever you need me.'

  Marina hugged her. 'Thanks, Mum.'

  'Now I think we should both get some sleep before the little man wakes up again.'

  Long after Kay had left her, Marina lay staring at the ceiling and thinking about her life. In the freezing cold on the beach today she'd realised that the attraction of modelling had finally worn off. It was just a job and a job that took her away from her son too often. Now that she was in her thirties she had to go where the work" was and that was often outside of Dublin. That wasn't so bad while they were living with Kay but when they moved in with Dominic, Josh was going to need her more. Especially when he started school. Marina didn't want Kay to be the one meeting him at the school gate every day. She was his mother, that was her job. She couldn't believe the searing jealousy she'd felt when Josh had called for his granny. It had hurt so much, although she'd tried to comfort herself that it was just because he was sick and tired. Still, much as she wanted her Mum and Josh to be close, she didn't want to be replaced. It was time to take stock. Time to reevaluate her situation.

  Chapter 39

  A few days later she was lying in Dominic's bed mulling over her options once more.

  'Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?' he said, raising himself up on one elbow to look down on her. 'I find it a bit insulting when you're this distracted.'

  Marina smiled and stroked his face. 'Oh, I'm sorry, darling, I was just thinking about Josh. He was so sick it gave me quite a fright.'

  'But he's okay now.'

  Marina hugged the duvet around her. 'I know that, but it's made me think.'

  'Sounds serious.'

  'I've decided to give up modelling.'

  'Really?'

  'It just doesn't do it for me any more and I hate not being there for Joshie.'

  'He seems happy with your mother.'

  'Exactly,' Marina muttered.

  Dominic laughed. 'You're jealous!'

  'I know — isn't it pathetic? It was so tough when we first moved in but now the two of them are much closer. Last night he even helped tidy his toys away.' Marina shook her head in wonder. 'He'd never do that for me.'

  'She's wonderful with him,' Dominic agreed. Josh could be a handful but he seemed to have settled down a little recently. There was no doubt that it was all due to Kay's influence. Though she was strict with him she was also generous with her time. One night, Dominic and Marina had arrived home to find a sheet draped over the kitchen table and Josh and Kay crouched underneath 'camping'.

  'I could get a part-time job.'

  'You could always help me at the deli. I'm sure we'd make a great team.'

  Marina's eyes widened. 'But I don't know anything about running a shop and as for food, well, I can screw up boiling an egg.'

  He laughed. 'I wasn't planning on asking you to do the cooking. Why don't you think about it?'

  Celine set out for the community centre with a heavy heart. She hadn't heard from Richard in days, Marina seemed to be spending all of her time with Dominic and her father had gone on a golf holiday with an old friend to the Algarve. He had waited until Alan returned from London before he arranged it. When he'd dropped into the shop to tell Celine he was in buoyant mood.

  'They're getting on like a house on fire,' he'd told Celine. 'I met them in the club last night and you wouldn't believe the difference. Brenda was blushing like a bride and Alan couldn't take his eyes off her.'

  'Brenda called me yesterday. The counselling seems to be doing the trick.' Celine had yawned and brushed her hair back out of her sunken eyes.

  Frank looked at her. 'Are you okay? You're looking a bit peaky.'

  'I'm not sleeping very well.'

  'Are you afraid here on your own? You know you could always move in with me. I could cancel the holiday—'

  'Daddy, no, don't be silly, I'm fine.'

  Frank looked relieved. 'If you're sure?'

  'I'm sure.'

  Celine turned into the centre and climbed the steps to the door. Thankfully, she had managed to convince her father she was fine and sent him on his way. It was true that she wasn't sleeping though. It reminded her of the first few months after Dermot's death. She went to bed tired but sleep wouldn't come. Now she felt worn out and the thought of facing Mary Boyle and her pals tonight did nothing to raise her spirits. At least she had finished most of the costumes and with luck she'd be ready to go before they broke for coffee. That way she wouldn't have to talk to anyone, not that anyone would probably want to talk to her.

  Slipping into the back of the auditorium, Celine edged her way around the cast and went through the partition into what had become her sewing room. Almost immediately, Cathy appeared in the doorway. 'Hello there, I thought I saw you creep past.'

  Celine grimaced. 'Sorry.'

  'You have nothing to be sorry for,' Cathy assured her. 'You're helping out this society, I appreciate that, and so do the others though that's not always apparent.'

  'I'll be honest, Cathy, I'm going to finish up tonight and then you won't see me for dust.'

  'That's a shame. I hope you'll still come to the show.'

  Celine grinned. 'I'll be the one in the wig and the trench coat.'

  Cathy gave her a brief hug. 'I'll watch out for you.'

  Celine watched her walk back to join the cast and then turned her attention to the work at hand. She was quite pleased with how the costumes had turned out. Some of them had been quite badly made and hung like sacks, but by ripping out a seam here and there, changing necklines, removing sleeves, she had made them fairly presentable. She worked steadily . and was surprised when Dominic appeared at her side with a cup of coffee.

  'You seem to be working very hard.'

  Celine took the cup and thanked him. 'Yeah, well I wanted to leave early.'

  'Going somewhere? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean—'

  Celine smiled at the look of dismay on his face. 'It's okay, Dominic. No, I'm not going anywhere.'

  'You must come out with Marina and me one night.'

  Celine raised an eyebrow. 'And play gooseberry? I don't think so.'

  'Would you feel better if Josh came too?'

  She smiled. 'Yeah, thanks. How is Josh?'

  Dominic laughed. 'Well, he's stopped trying to trip me up so I suppose that's progress! I'll let you get back to work.' Dominic turned to leave.

  'Right. Dominic?'

  He turned back.

  'Thanks for the coffee.'

  He smiled. 'You're welcome.'

  Half an hour later, Celine left when they were all in the middle of a chorus of 'Get Me To The Church On Time'. She was glad that Dominic had come to talk to her. She realised it probably hadn't been easy for him and he'd more than likely done it for Marina's sake, but at least he'd made the effort. She realised how appalled he must be at her behaviour. From Marina she knew that Dominic believed in the sanctity of marriage and adultery was completely abhorrent to him. Of course Celine agreed. When she was married she'd never looked at another man and would have been devastated if Dermot had been unfaithful. But of course that would never have happened. They had been madly in love, with eyes only for each other. That certainly wasn't the case in Kevin and Eileen's relationship. Kevin had slept with plenty of other girls before Celine came along. Of course that was no excuse for her behaviour, Celine realised as she let herself into the flat. She'd have to stop thinking that way. She deserved the names that she was being called. She deserved Dominic's disappointment and Richard's distrust.

  She dumped her bag on the sofa and turned on the lamp with a heavy sigh. It was time to stop blaming everything and anything else for her mistakes. Instead of being defensive with Richard she should explain everything and accept the blame for her behaviour. If he couldn't cope with that then she'd just have to accept it. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she
realised that she'd blown her second chance of real happiness. She stood up and went to the phone but stopped, her hand on the receiver. It wasn't fair dumping on Marina all the time, especially now that she was involved with Dominic. She moved away from the phone and went to the fridge for a can of Coke. She fancied something stronger but now that she was solely responsible for the shop, Celine had eased off the booze. One or two drinks would be fine of course but she didn't trust herself to leave it at that tonight. She took her Coke back to her favourite spot by the window and sat down. She had come to Hopefield to escape her life but it had followed her. Now she had to decide whether to stay and live with the consequences or move on to pastures new.

  As Rose was soon to return the decision might be out of her hands. If she wasn't working in Close Second she could hardly stay in a flat owned by Richard. He would want her out, she was sure of it. He wouldn't say so now because he would put up with the situation for Rose's sake. But as soon as she returned, Celine knew her days were numbered. Crunching the empty can in her fingers, Celine decided that she'd prefer to go before Richard asked her to leave. That would be just too hard to take.

  Chapter 40

  Marina pulled the bedclothes up around Josh and tiptoed out of the room. She looked at her watch and smiled. It was just eight o'clock and he'd gone to bed like a lamb and even turned off the light himself after she'd read only one story. She went downstairs and joined Kay in front of the telly. Unable to sit still or concentrate on the programme that Kay was engrossed in, Marina decided to manicure her nails.

  'Cup of tea, love?' Kay asked as the break came on.

  'Sorry? Oh, stay where you are, Mum, I'll make it.' Marina leapt to her feet and went out to the kitchen. As she arrived back in with the tray, Kay turned down the volume, took off her glasses and looked at her daughter. 'What's up?'

  'Sorry?'

  'You've been walking around in a daze for the last few days, love — what's on your mind?'

  'I do have something to tell you,' Marina admitted. 'Two things actually. I've decided to give up modelling and Dominic's asked me to move in with him. The two are sort of connected,' she hurried on. 'He'll be supporting us until I get another job.'

  Kay's expression clouded. 'I see.'

  'I know you'll miss Josh, Mum, but we would have been moving out in a few weeks anyway.'

  'True.'

  'You don't look impressed.' Marina looked at her mother's tight-lipped expression.

  'Well, of course I'm going to miss you both but, well, do you think it's a good idea to give up work? It can get very boring in the home with only a child to talk to.'

  Marina chuckled. 'Oh, really, Mum, just because I'm not working doesn't mean I won't be out and about.'

  'I'm telling you it's not the same,' Kay warned.

  Marina frowned. 'This isn't about me cracking up at home, is it? You want me to hang on to my job in case things don't work out with Dominic.'

  'That's not what I meant,' Kay protested, but she wouldn't meet Marina's eyes.

  'He's not like Ray, Mum.'

  'I know that.'

  'And if he does walk out on us I can always go back to modelling. Provided I don't let myself go I could take it up again any time I feel like it. But I won't have to because Dominic loves me.'

  'I know he does, I'm sorry.'

  Marina smiled. 'It's okay, Mum, I know you worry about us. I've given you enough cause over the years. But this time I really think it's going to be okay. Dominic is different.'

  Kay blinked and managed a wobbly smile. 'Yes, he is. I'm sure the three of you are going to be very happy.'

  Marina hugged her. 'So you don't mind us moving out?'

  'Mind having my house back to myself, are you mad?'

  Marina laughed. 'Don't relax too much. I think Josh plans to visit often.'

  'His room will always be there for him,' Kay sniffed. 'I'm going to miss the little terror.'

  'I'm very grateful for what you've done for him, for us.'

  Kay gathered her into her arms. 'Oh, love, it's been my pleasure.'

  Marina sat back and wiped her eyes. 'What are we like, sitting here blubbering?'

  Kay stood up, laughing. 'This tea is freezing, I'll make us a fresh pot.'

  'To hell with the tea, Mum, let's have a drink.'

  Kay lay awake for a long time when they finally went to bed. If Marina had told her a month ago that she was moving out she'd probably have thrown a party. Now she felt sad at the thought of losing her daughter and grandson. It was nice to hear other voices around the house. It was wonderful to listen in as Josh talked to his toys. It often brought a lump to her throat when he cuddled up against her and slipped his little hand into hers. The house would seem so empty and lonely without him. Still, it would be good for Josh to have Dominic as a stepfather, even if he didn't realise that yet. Kay could bear to part with him as long as he was going to be happy. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. If he wasn't happy they'd have her to deal with!

  Celine waved Sadie off, shut the door and flicked around the closed sign. With a feeling of pride, she looked around the shop, chock-full with wonderful stock. When word had got around about the break-in, Rose's customers had come up trumps and arrived in with armfuls of the most amazing clothes. Celine seemed to spend half of her time on the phone to Arklow telling her boss about the latest acquisitions. The best part was that the stock was going out the door as fast as it was coming in and takings had never been better. A sharp rap on the door interrupted her reverie and she hurried to answer it.

  Richard, clad in his usual uniform of jeans and rugby shirt, was standing on the doorstep. Celine ventured a nervous smile. 'Hi.'

  'I won't keep you.' Richard breezed past her. 'I just wanted to arrange a convenient time for you to meet the accountant.'

  'Accountant?'

  'Yes, didn't Rose tell you? He does the books every quarter.'

  Celine nodded, trying to concentrate. 'Yes, of course, she did mention it.'

  'So when do you want to do it?'

  'I suppose Monday would be the best day. That's when Sadie's here.'

  'Right, I'll set it up,' Richard said, moving back towards the door.

  He hadn't looked at her during the whole exchange, Celine realised. 'Is that it?'

  He paused, his hand on the door. 'Unless there's anything you want to discuss.'

  Celine nodded. 'There is actually. Let me close up and we can go up to my flat.'

  For the first time there was a hint of a smile in the brown eyes. 'To talk business?'

  Celine's eyes widened, all innocence. 'Of course!' As she led the way upstairs her stomach was in a knot. He'd managed a smile, surely that was a good sign? 'Drink?' she asked, going straight into the kitchen.

  Richard walked across to the window. 'A beer would be nice.'

  Definitely a good sign, Celine thought, taking two bottles from the fridge and opening them.

  'Thanks.' Richard took his beer and raised it to his lips.

  Celine watched him drink and experienced a moment of pure lust.

  'So?' He leaned against the wall and studied her.

  'What? Oh, right.' Celine was about to sit down on the sofa but thought better of it. This was going to be hard enough without having him towering over her while she talked. Instead she moved across to the breakfast bar and perched on a stool. 'I want to explain. About Kevin.'

  Richard's face was expressionless. 'There's no need.'

  'I think there is.' Celine forced herself to look him in the eye. 'And you want to hear it. You could have phoned me to arrange the appointment with the accountant.'

  Richard looked away. 'I was passing.'

  'Of course you were. Anyway, back to Kevin.'

  Richard grunted but he seemed slightly more at ease.

  'I met him at my health club over a year ago. We got talking, went for a coffee — it became something of a ritual. Finally he asked me out for a drink and, well, it took off from there.'

  'B
ut you knew he was married?'

  'Yeah, I knew Eileen.' She looked away from the disgust in his eyes. She'd promised herself she was going to tell him everything but she wasn't sure she could look at him as she was doing it. She got off the stool and went to her favourite spot by the windpw, staring out at the rooftops of Hopefield. 'I told myself that it didn't matter because she obviously didn't care about him.'

  'I suppose he told you that.'

  'Yep, and I believed it. Probably because I wanted to. Anyway, Eileen found out eventually and had a go at me in the middle of the golf club.'

  Richard laughed. 'Good for her!'

  'My dad and Brenda, that's Dermot's sister, were pretty upset and I started to get these notes in the door telling me to get out of Killmont.'

  'So you applied for the job in Close Second?'

  She nodded. 'It seemed the perfect answer.'

  Richard cleared his throat. 'So you left Killmont.'

  Celine sighed and turned her eyes back to the rooftops of Hopefield. 'Yeah, I was nervous about it but I knew it would be better for everyone if I left. Unfortunately, Kevin followed.'

  'You could have sent him away.'

  'I did try to finish with him but he can be very persuasive. He said that once we kept a low profile for a while we could carry on as before. That Eileen didn't care about the affair but she didn't want to be made a fool of publicly.'

  Richard's hand tightened around the neck of the bottle. 'So you continued the affair?'

  Celine looked at him. 'Do you remember the night that you met him?'

  'Oh, yes, I remember.'

  'That was the night I finished it.'

  Richard looked at her, a cynical smile playing around his lips. 'Sure you did.'

  'It's true. When you left, Kevin wanted to go to bed.'

  Richard flinched.

  'But I couldn't. I didn't want to. I wanted you. So be disgusted with me for having an affair with him, that's okay, but don't accuse me of being unfaithful to you. I've seen Kevin only twice since that night and that was only because it took a while to convince him that it was over and that his marriage wasn't the sham he thought it was.'