The Invitation_The perfect laugh-out-loud romantic comedy

by Keris Stainton

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  ‘We read your blog,’ Chelsea told Piper.

  They were in John’s office again, this time with representatives from International and Digital. They really needed to come up with a name because the launch had been booked – on a super-yacht of all things – so the plan was basically that they’d hang out and chat and brainstorm until someone came up with something. (Angus from Digital had already suggested ‘Brainstorm’, which had then sent them googling for rhymes and briefly considering ‘Reign’ before the girls almost wet themselves laughing at the idea of being called ‘Champagne’. Or ‘Cocaine’.) They’d already been there so long they’d eaten a full plate of sandwiches and a packet of Cadbury’s Fingers that Mia had brought with her. The girls showed no signs of flagging, but everyone else in the room was starting to droop.

  Piper stared back. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yeah. We looked you up after last time. Cos we loved that vagina thing you found. You know, the flowers?’

  Piper nodded. She didn’t dare look at John.

  ‘You’re really cool,’ Frankie said.

  Piper laughed. ‘I don’t know about that.’

  ‘No, you are. Like, the post about the photos going viral? That’s such bullshit. That people do that kind of thing, I mean. You looked fierce in both of the photos and people trying to shame you should just fuck off.’

  ‘I downloaded this app,’ Chelsea said. ‘Whenever anyone sends me a dick pic, it puts a little hat on it – or you can do, like, glasses or googly eyes – and I send it back.’

  John was making a gurgling noise. Piper hoped he wasn’t actually dying.

  ‘That’s brilliant,’ she said.

  ‘Right?’ Chelsea said. ‘I don’t think girls – women – should have to put up with it. And it’s great that we’re going to have this platform to tell them that. Obviously the music’s more important, but that’s still really valuable too, right?’

  ‘It’s just a shame it’s needed,’ Frankie agreed.

  Something was tugging at the edge of Piper’s brain. She wanted to shush everyone in the room, but instead she said, ‘Does anyone want a coffee? I think I’ll do a Starbucks run. I need to stretch my legs.’

  While she waited for the coffees, she scrolled through Rob’s messages on her phone. He was definitely good at texting, able to take her from laughing to wanting to get on the next train and rip his clothes off in one text. It was when she got back to the text he’d sent her when she was on the train home on Sunday evening that she remembered.

  * * *

  ‘What do you think about “Bitter/Sweet”?’ she asked, setting everyone’s coffees down on the table.

  For a second, the room was so silent Piper could hear the dance music coming up through the floor from the Production department below. And then Chelsea said ‘Holy shit. I love it.’

  * * *

  The rest of the day was spent confirming the name with anyone who might have any objections, but everyone seemed to love it and Piper was buzzing with the thrill of having come up with the name herself.

  ‘You’re going to be working with us, right?’ Chelsea had asked Piper as they’d been leaving, just as giddy and exuberant as they’d been when they’d arrived hours earlier.

  ‘Not really,’ Piper said. ‘Unfortunately. I’m in Legal so once the contract’s done my bit’s over really.’

  ‘That’s a shame,’ Chelsea said. ‘You should quit and come and work with us.’ She hugged Piper – as did the other girls – and then they left, leaving Piper standing in the foyer, feeling oddly disappointed.

  Halfway up the stairs her phone buzzed with a notification and she stopped to read it, expecting it to be a text from Rob. But it was from Instagram, to tell her that all three girls had followed her account. Instead of heading up the second staircase to Legal, she turned into the Press department and knocked on Juliette’s door.

  As she walked in, Juliette looked up from her laptop, her eyes bright. ‘Hey, superstar!’

  ‘Hey,’ Piper said. ‘Were you serious about that job in Press?’

  Chapter Thirty

  Piper knocked on Matt’s door.

  ‘I’ve got good news and I’ve got champagne!’ She turned the bottle round in her hands. ‘Well, it’s Prosecco, cos I’m getting a raise, but I haven’t got it yet, so—’

  ‘Hang on!’ Matt called from inside.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Piper asked, resting her forehead on the wood. ‘We can drink it in your bed like Kardashians. Probably.’

  ‘I’m, um, not alone,’ Matt called.

  Piper could hear thumps and rustling. She didn’t know why he was being so coy. She’d met Jack. She liked Jack. Jack liked her. She thought. Maybe he didn’t? Maybe it wasn’t Jack. It was probably Becks. Matt was so fickle.

  She stumbled a little as Matt opened the door she’d been leaning on and stepped into the hall, pulling it closed behind him.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Piper asked. ‘Why are you being weird when I’ve got good news and Prosecco?’ She held up the bottle and waved it at him, grinning.

  He was wearing sweatpants and no shirt. He put his hands on her shoulders and steered her towards the kitchen.

  ‘Does Jack not like me?’ she said. ‘Wait. Have you been doing something kinky? Is he tied up? Have you left him dangling from the ceiling? I’m not sure the beams are—’

  ‘It’s not Jack,’ Matt said, flicking the kettle on. ‘Don’t freak out.’

  ‘I’m not going to freak out. Your filthy business is your filthy business. What happened to Jack though? He was cute. Is it Becks?’

  ‘Don’t worry about Jack. No, it’s not Becks. And don’t yell when I tell you.’

  ‘Fucking hell,’ Piper said. ‘I’m not going to yell.’

  ‘I think you might yell.’

  ‘Matt,’ Piper said.

  ‘Piper.’ He took her favourite mug down from the shelf.

  She stared at him, eyebrows raised.

  ‘It’s Holly.’

  At first, she genuinely couldn’t think what he could mean. And then… ‘Holly. My sister Holly.’

  ‘Yes. Your sister Holly.’

  ‘My sister Holly is in your bed. And you’ve had sex.’

  ‘Yeah. No. I mean, I don’t know that you need details of—’

  ‘Holly?’ Piper yelled, pushing past Matt and heading for his room.

  ‘You said you weren’t going to yell,’ Matt said, following her.

  Piper pushed the door open. Her sister was sitting at the end of Matt’s bed. She was fully dressed, apart from one boot, which she was pulling on. She wasn’t wearing any make-up and she had sex hair.

  ‘You’ve got sex hair,’ Piper said.

  ‘Piper,’ Holly said, standing up and holding her hands up in front of her. ‘It’s not what it looks like.’

  From behind her, Piper heard Matt laugh. ‘I mean, it kind of is.’

  ‘Well. Yeah,’ Holly said. ‘This is. But we haven’t been… behind your back.’

  ‘Apart from today,’ Piper said. ‘Because Matt sure as shit didn’t tell me you were coming over. And neither did you.’

  ‘It wasn’t planned,’ Holly said. ‘I just… I’ve had a shitty day. And I bumped into Matt. And you know, you knew, that I…’ She shook her head. ‘You know.’

  ‘Fancied him?’ Piper said. ‘I think once you’ve shagged him, it’s okay to admit you fancy him.’

  ‘It’s not about him,’ Holly said. ‘I’m just… I’m so fucking miserable. I just needed… something.’

  Piper glanced behind her, but Matt wasn’t there any more and she was glad.

  ‘I’m sorry you’re unhappy,’ Piper said. ‘But also I don’t really give a shit. You don’t come to my flat and fuck my best friend behind my back. That’s just… that’s just not something a person does. So if it’s okay with you, I’d appreciate it if you just fucked off.’

  ‘Can we just talk about this,’ Matt said. ‘I’ve
made you a brew. Sit down and we can talk and—’

  ‘I’m going home,’ Piper said. She was still holding the Prosecco. She slammed it down on the table and watched some tea jump out of the mug.

  ‘You’re going tomorrow morning, aren’t you?’ Matt said. ‘Why don’t I go and get a takeaway and—’

  ‘I don’t want a takeaway,’ Piper said. ‘I’m going to go tonight. So, you know, the flat’s all yours. Feel free to carry on fucking my sister.’

  ‘Piper,’ Matt said, holding his hands out and stepping towards her. She took a step backwards. ‘Just… calm down. I know you’re upset, but—’

  ‘Fuck off, Matt.’ She pushed past him to get to her room. ‘I know you do what you want and you don’t give a shit who you do it with, but I always thought you gave a shit about me.’

  ‘Jesus Christ.’ Matt stopped in her bedroom doorway. ‘You know I do. I know we shouldn’t have done this. I know I shouldn’t have, but if you’d just—’

  Piper pushed her door closed with Matt on the other side and leaned back against it. She heard the front door slam and knew it was Holly leaving. She wanted to lie face down on her bed and cry. Or drink the entire bottle of Prosecco and forget any of this had happened. Instead she shoved some clothes into her weekend bag and yanked her door open again.

  ‘Holly’s gone,’ Matt said. He was sitting at the dining table, the tea he’d made for Piper cooling in front of him.

  ‘And now I’m going,’ Piper said.

  ‘Don’t. Stay and talk.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk to you,’ she said.

  And then she left.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  By the time Piper got to Rob’s she was calmer. Not calm – she’d cried on the train and typed and deleted a bunch of angry texts to both Holly and Matt, before buying herself a tiny bottle of wine and downing it while staring at her own reflection in the window. She’d also texted Rob to tell him she would be turning up about fifteen hours earlier than expected. He was at his mum’s, but said he’d get home in time to meet her.

  Now he pushed the door closed behind her and stepped up to her, caging her against the door with his arms. She dropped her bag.

  ‘You smell amazing,’ he said, dipping his head to kiss her neck.

  ‘Cheesy,’ she muttered, but she was already melting. It was embarrassing how quickly he could make her knees weaken.

  ‘Hmm, I don’t think it’s cheese,’ he said, leaning back to smile at her. ‘But whatever it is, I like it.’

  She reached up and curled her hands over his biceps, leaning forward to kiss him.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Have you eaten?’ he asked, as she followed him into the flat.

  She hadn’t, she realised. She’d been too angry to eat. But now she realised she actually was hungry.

  ‘I can make you an omelette?’ Rob said, opening the fridge and staring at the contents. ‘Or boiled eggs and soldiers.’

  ‘God,’ Piper said. ‘That sounds really good actually.’

  She watched him fill a pan with water and put it on the stove.

  ‘When I was little,’ Piper started to say. And then stopped as her throat tightened.

  Rob glanced over his shoulder at her. ‘Go on.’

  ‘You’re hot when you cook,’ she said instead, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

  ‘You really shouldn’t distract the chef,’ Rob said.

  Piper kissed the back of his neck, nuzzling her nose into his hair. His stomach muscles tightened under her hands and she pressed closer.

  ‘Let me just—’ he said, his voice cracking.

  ‘Why don’t we have the eggs after?’ she suggested.

  She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans and he turned the hob off and let himself be pulled into the bedroom.

  * * *

  ‘I was in Ibiza, on a cycling tour,’ Rob said, rolling onto his back.

  They’d got up once, eaten boiled eggs and soldiers smothered with butter and then gone back to bed again.

  ‘Are you making this up?’ Piper asked. ‘It sounds like the “I was walking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo…” story from Friends. Have you started watching it yet, by the way?’

  Rob laughed. ‘No. And I’m not making it up. A bunch of us went. We had, like, a week’s cycling and then a week clubbing.’

  ‘Christ,’ Piper said. ‘You can’t just have a proper holiday? Have to flog yourself first?’

  Rob slid a hand down Piper’s chest, between her breasts, and then curled it round her waist, dropping his head to kiss her on the shoulder. ‘There was no flogging. Anyway. I met this girl.’

  ‘Was she cycling too? Cos I fear for her fanny if she was.’

  ‘No. I met her in the second week. In a bar.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘And we got on really well. And then we went back to her hotel room. Is this making you jealous? At all?’

  It was a bit, but there was no way Piper was going to tell him that. ‘No. You’re fine. Carry on.’

  ‘And I started going down on her… and I’ll never forget what she said.’ He brushed his lips over Piper’s neck. ‘She said, “Oh Christ, what the fuck are you doing?”’

  Piper snorted with laughter. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yep. She actually pushed my head away. She said, “Who the fuck told you that felt good?’’’

  ‘God, Rob,’ Piper said. ‘What were you actually doing?’

  ‘Now it’s a while ago and drink had been taken so I’m not sure. But I imagine I was probably just, like, mashing my face in there.’

  Piper laughed again, rolling onto her side so she could look at him.

  ‘There may have been some licking? But I think it’d be more like a cow stripping the paint off a car.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘My grandad told us that he parked next to a field once and when he came back the cows had licked the paint off his car.’

  Piper stared at him. ‘So. Many. Questions.’

  Rob tipped his head and pressed his lips to hers. ‘Never mind that.’

  ‘Right,’ Piper said. ‘You’ve got skills to show me.’

  ‘Silky skills,’ Rob said, kissing down the side of her neck.

  ‘Always sport with you.’

  He kissed between her breasts, following the path his hand had taken earlier. His hands now were sliding down her sides towards her hips. She sucked in a breath as he nuzzled her belly and kept moving lower. His hands pushed under her bum and she curled her pelvis up to meet his mouth.

  ‘Holy shit,’ she murmured, sliding one hand into the back of his hair.

  She felt like she was melting into the bed – Rob’s hands on her hips, his tongue on the inside of her thighs. Then everything was blackness and static before her orgasm overtook her and white light burst behind her eyes. She felt like she was shattering into pieces, exploding all over the room. Bits of her embedded in the walls and the ceiling forever.

  * * *

  ‘Do you keep in touch with Ibiza girl?’ Piper asked after. Both of them were lying on their backs, gazing up at the ceiling, Rob’s foot hooked around her ankle.

  ‘Her name was Belle. And no.’

  ‘Her name wasn’t fucking Belle,’ Piper laughed. ‘That’s the name she gave you.’

  ‘Her name could’ve been Belle! You don’t know.’

  ‘Belle.’ Piper laughed. ‘God.’

  ‘Your name’s Piper!’

  Piper grinned. ‘Piper’s not a Disney princess. Anyway. I’d like to send made-up-name-Belle a present. Maybe a car. Or a house.’

  ‘Good, right?’ Rob said, rolling on his side again and nuzzling against her.

  ‘A whole new world,’ Piper said.

  ‘I think I’m falling in love with you,’ Rob said, his face pressed against the side of her neck.

  Piper pulled back to look at him, her hand curved around his jaw, thumb brushing his
bottom lip. ‘No.’

  He smiled. ‘What do you mean “no”?’

  ‘No. That’s not… that’s not what this is.’ She wanted to get out of bed, but Rob’s ankle was hooked around hers, his hand resting on her waist.

  ‘What is it then?’ Rob asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

  ‘It’s…’ Piper started. ‘It’s… fun. It’s… you live up here. And I live down there. And neither of us is going to move so it just has to be fun.’

  ‘I’m having fun,’ Rob said. ‘Why does that mean I can’t fall in love with you?’

  Piper shook her head, closing her eyes. ‘Because!’

  ‘Because…?’

  ‘Because that’s just not what’s meant to happen.’

  Rob dipped his head to kiss Piper gently, her thumb still between their lips. ‘Well I wish you’d told me this when we first started. I would have tried really hard not to fall in love with you. But you didn’t tell me. So…’

  ‘So nothing,’ Piper said.

  ‘So I think I’m falling in love with you.’

  Piper dipped her head, hiding her face in the curve of his neck. ‘No.’

  ‘I mean, you can say no as much as you like,’ Rob said, hand sliding round to the small of her back, pulling her more firmly against him. ‘Makes no odds to me.’

  ‘Stop talking about it.’ She licked the side of his neck. She loved the way he tasted there, salty and warm.

  ‘I’ll stop talking about it now,’ Rob said, rolling her onto her back, bracing himself on top of her. ‘But I’m going to bring it up again, just so you know.’

  Piper shook her head again. It was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.

  ‘You don’t need to say it back, if that’s what’s bothering you,’ Rob said.

  ‘That’s not it.’ Piper hooked her legs around his thighs. ‘You don’t need to say it at all.’