I laughed out loud. “Believe me, I"m struggling more than you are. This is really freaking me out too. I mean, where did this come from? I"ve know you for a few years now. You"re my best friend, my big brother. Where was this feeling then? And you think I"m strong?” I said. “You have no idea how badly I want you right now, do you? How I want you so much that it hurts. How it"s taking every ounce of self-control I have not to throw myself into your arms. That kiss, in the closet, it completely pissed me off, but holy shit, Carlos. It was amazing. I wanted more, so much more. Me, strong? Hardly. I"m weak and a horrible person.”
“You? A horrible person?” he said, clearly getting angry now. “What about me? He"s been my best friend for two hundred years, Sarah. Do you know how long that is? You"re his wife for Christ"s sake. How can I possibly even think about doing this? What kind of person does that make me?”
I walked toward him, careful to look down, avoiding the incredibly strong pull to kiss him. I put my head on his chest and he wrapped me in his arms. “We"ll fix this, Carlos. I promise. We have to. You know we have to. We can"t act on this. As much as we might want to, we just can"t.”
“I know, Sarah. And you"re right. But you"re going to have to figure out how because, with the way I feel right now about you, I can"t. I"m sorry, but I just can"t. You have to figure out how to stop us,” he whispered as he pulled me closer and I felt the shift from comforting friend to longing lover,“because I"ve tried and I"m definitelynot having any luck.”
I gritted my teeth and pushed away from him. “Home, now, please?” I begged. He nodded, held his hand out and we rose into the air. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close as he descended into the courtyard, staring into my eyes the entire time. It took me a second to realize we were on the ground. “I"m sorry, Carlos. I don"t want to hurt you and I don"t want to leave you, but I have to go. You know I have to.” He nodded and I saw the sad resignation in his eyes. I winced and felt my heart break a little as I turned and walked away, once again leaving him all alone as I went willingly to the arms of my husband.
Matt was waiting for me in our room. “I"ve missed you,” he said as he took me into his arms. I closed my eyes and tried to get my head straight, melting into his chest. I kept thinking„I have to fix this, I have to fix this" over and over in my head. I must have taken a little longer than I thought to respond, because Matt whispered, “Sarah?” as he tilted my chin up.
“Sorry,” I said. “Just a little tired, that"s all.”
“I"m not surprised, after what you"ve been through today,” he said. “How"s the head?”
I reached back and winced slightly. “A little better,” I said.
“You hungry?” he asked and I nodded. We walked down the hall to the kitchen. My heart sank when we walked in and I saw Carlos sitting by himself at the table. I felt so sad for him, all alone like that. I had to fight the urge to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything"s going to be alright. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?
“Hey dude,” Matt said. “What"s up?”
“Oh, hey guys,” he said. “I was just thinking about grabbing some dinner before I head off to bed.”
“What, no company tonight? No pretty girl waiting somewhere to have her heart broken by the notorious Carlos?” Matt said.
“Really, Matt? This is me we"re talking about. Of course I won"t be alone,” he said as his eyes met mine.
I squeezed mine shut. ‘Do not tell me that,’ I thought.
‘What?’ he thought. ‘Tell you that I’ll have a friend with me or tell you that I won’t, that I’ll be in your head?’
‘Please let it be the first one, Carlos,’ I thought. ‘Call Stacy, have a friend over.’
‘I tried that the other night, remember? I couldn’t do it. Me! That’s never happened to me, Sarah. Ever. I was horny as hell, but I just wasn’t feeling it, you know what I mean? It just felt so empty. I felt bad, but I ended up sending Tracy home. Poor girl, she thought she had done something wrong,’ he thought.
I sank down in the chair closest to me. ‘Stop it, please. This isn’t happening, it can’t be,’ I thought.
Suddenly Matt was in both our heads and I jumped. ‘Uhhh, guys?’ he thought. ‘I hate to interrupt your little pow-wow, but your dinner’s getting cold.’
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I picked up a pint, “just going over a few things.”
“Uh-huh,” Matt said as he eyed both of us. Clearly he wasn"t buying my explanation. Great.
We all drank, then sat in silence for a few minutes. Matt and I were sitting on one side of the table, Carlos on the other. I could feel the anger growing in me. Anger at Carlos, anger at myself, anger at Matthew (though I had no reason for that), anger at Malina, anger at everything. Matt turned sideways on the bench so that his legs were straddling me, and wrapped his arms around me as he began nuzzling my neck. I locked eyes with Carlos and fed on my fury. ‘Maybe I’ll just lock you out,’ I thought.
‘No you won’t,’ he thought, smiling slightly.
‘That sure, are you?’ I thought, as my hand began caressing Matt"s thigh then it slowly moved up towards his crotch.
‘Yes, I am that sure,’ he thought, ‘because you want me in there. Deny it all you want, but deep down you know it’s true, because it’s the only way that you’ll allow yourself to share this with me.’ His grin grew larger, but I saw the hurt in his eyes. The son of a bitch was right, and that pissed me off even more.
Matt"s kissing on my neck became more urgent then, as my hand reached the top of his thigh and moved toward the center. I grabbed his other hand and allowed our scars to join, sending shivers down both our spines. Matt was in my head then, thinking,
‘Sarah, Jesus, you… need… to… stop.’ I already knew that, of course. I could feel his excitement building. I was excited too, but I was also still angry. I didn"t want to stop, not until Carlos was mad at me. Right now what I needed was for him to be totally pissed off at me, but I could see it wasn"t working. ‘Sarah… please,’ Matt thought and I finally tore my eyes away from Carlos and looked at Matt.
I pulled my hand away like I had been shocked and released his hand. ‘Sorry, honey,’ I thought to him. He was panting and his heart was pounding, poor guy.
‘ Hell, don’t be. It’s okay, we just need to take this to our room,’ he thought. ‘Just give me a second ‘cause I can’t stand up right now.’ I nodded and put both my hands on the table. Matt rested his forehead on my shoulder as he tried to calm down. Without thinking my hand reached up to his hair. ‘Uhhh,’ he thought, ‘not helping, honey.’
My hand slammed down a little too hard on the table, making both of them jump. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Tired honey?” Matt said. “Ready for bed?” I nodded, staring at Carlos again. “Oh, I am
definitely ready for bed, sweetheart,” I said. “Night, you two,” Carlos said with defiance in his
eyes. “Sleep well. I"m hitting the sack too. I"ll
see you in the morning, Sarah. I"ll show you the
locations I have in mind for training.”
Suddenly I didn"t want to leave him again.
Damn it. This can"t be happening.
“Okay, „night, Carlos,” I mumbled.
Matt held me tight and stood up with me,
pressing into me. I could tell instantly that he wasn"t
calmed down and he was trying to hide the bulge in
his pants from Carlos. He turned quickly putting his
back to Carlos, and pushed me out the door. Once
we were safely in the hall, he scooped me into his
arms, ran to our room and threw open the door. He
dropped me onto the rug just inside the door,
slammed the door shut behind him and ripped his
shirt off. Not over his head, but tore it. Right down
the middle. His chest was heaving as he wrestled
with the button on his jeans – and I was completely
gr
ateful for this reaction. This – this angry, rough, urgent need from him was exactly what I needed right now, this would definitely keep my mind on him and no one else. I reached down to pull off my shirt. “Don"t,” he growled and I smiled, showing him my teeth. I shivered and I was gasping now too. I leaned back and stared at him, marveling again at his perfection as he slid his pants down and kicked them off of his feet. “You started this, Sarah Pearl. Now I"m going to finish it.” He leered at me and then pounced, crushing his body onto me. His mouth crushed down on mine and his tongue moved like lightening around mine. I groaned as he moved and his fangs sank into my neck. Now I was the urgent one, as I again reached down to try to get out of my damn clothes. “Don"t!” he growled again and he grabbed my wrists and pinned my hands above my
head.
“If you don"t get me out of these clothes soon,
I"m going to lose my mind,” I groaned. I felt him
grin as he scraped his fangs down my neck. “I know,” he said. His fangs tugged at the neck
of my shirt and I groaned at the anticipation.
Instinctively I tried to release one of my hands. “Uh-uhuh,” he said as he grinned and moved back up to my neck. hurting me. throbbing. My god, I thought, my clothes are Absolutely everything on me was
“Matt… please?” I begged and then I looked down at him. I could feel every ounce of him pressing into me, but I wanted to feel it pressing into my skin, not my clothes. He smiled at me and kept his eyes locked on mine as he, again, scraped his teeth down my neck and caught the edge of my shirt. My eyes rolled back in my head, my chest heaved and I groaned as I finally heard the fabric begin to tear. I squirmed, trying without success, to wriggle out of my stupid pants as his tongue, teeth and mouth awakened every part of my torso. As he moved down to my lower belly, he finally released my hands. I reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair, and pulled him up to me, crushing my mouth down hard onto his, growling as I tasted the blood from his split lip. Pressing my pelvis into him, I silently cursed the denim that still kept him from me. Suddenly he pressed himself off of me and stood up. He was staring at me and panting. I started to sit up.
“DON"T!” he growled. Never has one little word excited me so damn much. A shiver ran from the top of my head down to my toes. He sank to his knees between my legs, leering at me as his eyes locked on mine. Slowly, dear God so damn slowly, he started to unbutton my jeans and work them down my legs as I groaned, panted and squirmed, trying to make them come off faster. He finally pulled them off my feet. Good, I thought, denim gone, just panties left, don"t waste time with them.
“Just push them to the side” I groaned. “Uh-uh,” he said then I watched wide-eyed and more excited than I"d ever been in my life as he leaned down and tore them off with his teeth.
“Oh my God,” I moaned. We kept our eyes locked as he slid his right hand behind my lower back and grabbed my left hand, joining our scars. I was on the edge, I could feel it, just one small touch in the right place and I"d be there… for a VERY long time… And it happened. The moment he pulled me up, it happened. He pulled me onto his lap, easily entering me as my legs squeezed tightly around his torso and my mouth urgently found his. It happened… and, for me, it didn"t stop until morning.
Chapter Eleven
I moaned as I looked at the clock. It was eight a.m. and I was definitely not ready to get up yet. I still felt spasms coursing through my body from what Matt had done to me the night before. Matt grinned as he rolled towards me and pressed his hand between my legs. I arched my back and moaned as another wave of pleasure hit me. There was no two ways about it. This clearly was not stopping any time soon. As soon as I could breathe again, I growled and pushed him onto his back. I climbed on top of him, happy as I easily discovered that he definitely wasn"t ready to stop either.
Four hours later, as I lay on my back gasping for air, I said,“Okay, I think I"m finally done.” Of course I had already said that at least half a dozen other times, so who knows if it was actually true. As I finally began to relax and slowly felt the shivers subside, I decided maybe it finally was true this time, and maybe I could function again. I looked over at Matt, lying with his hands across his stomach, his feet crossed, his eyes closed and a huge smug grin across his face. I rolled onto my elbow. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?” I said.
“Oh, a couple hundred times since last night,” he said.
“Not enough,” I said. “I love you, and you"re more than welcome to do that to me again,any time.”
“I love you, too,” he said, “but do what, honey?” He opened one eye and peaked over at me, smirking.
“You know exactlywhat,” I said as I playfully smacked him on the stomach, then I climbed out of bed and headed into the shower.
“Want company?” he called.
“Yes, but better not,” I said. “We both have too much work to do today.”
“Party pooper,” he said and I laughed. “Hun, don"t turn the water off when you"re done, just holler at me, okay?”
“Yep,” I said just as I noticed that Carlos had popped into my head.
‘Geez, Sarah. Way to make a point. Are you ever stopping?’ he thought.
‘Relax,’ I thought. „I’ll meet you in the kitchen in ten minutes, okay?’
‘Okay,’ he thought and then he was gone. I was pleasantly surprised with myself as I realized that I hadn"t thought about him all night, not once, not since we had left the kitchen. I knew deep down that was because of Matt and what he had done to me, but I tried to tell myself that I had done it. That I was the one who had kept myself from thinking about him. That it was me keeping myself from thinking about what he might be doing when he was in my head. That I wasn"t kind of wondering (wishing) what it would be like to be in there with him. Yeah, I tried to tell myself that it was me that had stopped all those thoughts, but I knew the truth was that it was Matt who had done that. And so I still kept wondering: what the hell is wrong with me?
“Done,” I called to Matt. He appeared at the edge of the shower, swept me into his arms, pressing close against me, as he stepped in and I stepped out, passionately kissing me, then releasing me and ducking his head under the water with a huge grin on his face. I stood there, hesitating. I wanted so badly to jump back into the shower, but I knew that I had to go.
“Go,” he said, “I"ll be here when you getback.”
“Right here?” I said. “Looking exactly the same way you do right now?”
“Yep,” he grinned. A huge shiver ran the length of my body. I reached for a towel, dried off, quickly threw some clothes on and ran a comb through my hair. Dashing toward the door, I had to force myself past the tattered shreds of our clothes on the floor. If I stopped and looked, I knew I"d turn around and head back into the shower. I was in the kitchen thirty seconds later. Walking in and seeing Carlos" face didn"t change my mood nearly as much as I thought it might– another sign of denial.
“Morning,” I said as I headed to the fridge.
“Afternoon,” he grumbled.
“Okay, afternoon. And I"m really sorry I"m late,” I said. “Why so grumpy?”
Carlos glared at me.
“Oh,” I whispered. “Well, if you"d stayed out of my head, maybe you would havegotten some sleep.”
“I tried, Sarah. If I could, I would. I just can"t let you go. It"s too hard. It hurts too much,” he whispered.
I hesitated slightly as I grabbed four pints and popped them into the microwave. I handed him two as I sat down. “Thanks,” he muttered.
“Sure,” I said. I watched him as I drank. “I need my old friend Carlos back,” I whispered, “the one who could always put a smile on my face. The one who feels like my big brother, not the one that I havethese feelings for.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “I know, Sarah. I"m trying really hard here, but it"s going to take a little time. I"m working on it though, I"ve already called Stacy and asked her to send Tracy back tonight.” His volume dropped as he mumbled
,“I might be in your head when I"m with her, but at least I"m trying.”
I quickly decided a change of subject would be good, for both of us. ‘Where are we going today?’ I thought, not wanting anyone to hear us.
‘A church basement in a village about fifteen miles from here. It’s pretty large and it’ll be a close match for the main hall, which is what I figured you were going for, right?’ he thought.
I nodded. ‘Right,’ I thought, ‘just us today, to make sure it will work and for me to go over the basics with you. Tomorrow we bring some of the others, okay? Crap, who’s working on the party?’
‘Relax, Missy’s all over it,’ he thought.
‘But Carlos,’ I thought, ‘she’s close with Ramon, what if she’s….?’
‘So what? She can still plan the party, right?’ he thought. ‘It’s not like she’s in on planning the fight. That’s the part we have to worry about.’
‘I suppose you’re right,’ I thought. ‘Are you ready to go?’
He nodded and stood up. We walked into the hall and ran into Matt, and my heart flip-flopped. I smiled, pleased that it was flip-flopping for the right person this time, then completely lost track of what I was supposed to be doing as he walked towards me with his hair still wet, his t-shirt straining to stay in one piece over his biceps and across his chest.
I barely heard Carlos say to Matt, “When she comes back to her senses, send her out to the courtyard, okay?”
Matt"s smile lit up his whole face. He nodded to Carlos and opened his arms as he reached me. I realized again how perfectly I fit inside them– they were made for me and I was made for them. I pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him with all the passion for him that filled my body. He pulled back, smiling, his eyes dancing. “Uhhh, honey?” he said. “Aren"t you the one who said that we have work to do right now?” I stared at him for a second, hesitating, enjoying the pull that I was fighting, the pull that got messed up for a little while but was back, back with a vengeance, back for good (I hoped). I groaned as I nodded, knowing the pain I was going to feel walking away from him. He walked me to the front door and kissed me one more time.
Malina's Revenge Page 10
