Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story)

by Collins, LK

  Pulling up to Alexa and Vincent’s, I see Abel’s truck and a car I don’t recognize. Shit, I should have figured he would be here. I sneak up to the door and peek inside, everyone is outback. Hallelujah. I run back to my car and grab the bags, then sneak inside. With the ring tucked safely in my purse, and my bags in hand I sprint across the great room and up the stairs.

  Holy shitballs, talk about luck. I can’t believe no one saw me and that damn dog didn’t hear me come in. I bust open all the candles and begin to place them all over the room. Next I get to the rose petals, pulling the petals off all the roses and spreading them everywhere, practically carpeting the room and bed. Last but not least, I place the ring box in Vincent’s nightstand.

  Stepping back I take a look at my handiwork, I see I really have done an exceptional job. You would think he hired a professional to construct it all. Maybe I’m in the wrong career …

  Heading downstairs, I hear Lex come in from the back patio. As I glance down the stairs, she is looking in the fridge and I quickly walk down and slide outside. When I pull the door shut, Abel looks at me and winks. I head straight to Vincent to fill him in on everything while she’s inside.

  “Hey, when did you get here?” Alexa asks me as she comes back out.

  “I just got here. I snuck around back. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered.”

  “You could have just come in, Cara.”

  “It’s fine really. Let me help you set this down so we can eat. I’m starving.”

  I take the food from her. The whole time Abel has had his eyes on me. I try to not focus on him or the fact he is watching my every move. We all sit to eat and I spark up conversation with Lincoln, Alexa’s brother.

  I can’t help but picture him with my sister, Amber. He looks like just her type, and Lord knows she needs a sane, stable boyfriend in her life. Lincoln is funny and keeps me laughing, and I can tell Abel is annoyed. He hasn’t touched his food and is sitting back just sipping on his beer. I need to get away from his glare, so I ask Alexa and Vincent, “Are you guys done?”

  I collect their plates and head inside. When I reach for the sliding door, Abel opens it for me and my heart starts to pound.

  Damn it, I was trying to take a minute away.

  He follows me in and I place the plates in the sink. Leaning back on the opposite counter I brace myself. “Were you doing that on purpose?” he asks.

  “Doing what?” I ask back, confused.

  He steps closer to me and presses his pelvis against mine. Placing his hands on my hips, he stares into my eyes. “Flirting with Lincoln?”

  I look back at him, letting him completely intoxicate me. “I wasn’t flirting.”

  “Do you feel what you do to me? Do you have any idea the control you have over my body?”

  I shake my head and close my eyes as he grinds his erection against my core. Fuck, it’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone. This feels so good, quite possibly too good.

  “Abel,” his dad, Charlie, yells, causing him to pull away from me. I feel the blood rush to my face as my pussy throbs for more. Abel doesn’t look back at me and walks away with his dad.

  “Hey, girl,” Jamie says as she bumps her butt with mine. We are standing at the quiet nurses’ station and I’m wrapping up my paperwork before I head out. She is here for the night.

  “What’s up?”

  “The girl in 115 is pretending to paint her nails, but she doesn’t have nail polish. I think we need to get her a psych consult.”

  I laugh at her. “Really? Then order it.”

  “Will you sign off on it before you leave?”

  I shake my head, “Nope. It has to be an attending or higher. I’m just a measly little nurse.”

  “You really should check her out before you go.”

  I grab my purse and sling it over my shoulder. “Nah. I’m sure she’ll still be here tomorrow. Have a good night.”

  I walk out and head towards my car. It’s warm tonight and I’ve got blood on my scrubs, so I take my scrub top off, wearing only a small, black cami and dig in my purse for my keys. When I look up, Abel is sitting next to my car. He is straddling his Harley and knows that I’m shocked. I can tell by the smug look on his face, as I stand there frozen searching for words.

  “What’s wrong, kitten? Cat got your tongue?”

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “I think the better question is what the hell are you doing? Why are you walking out of the hospital at almost midnight, not paying attention to your surroundings, and stripping off your clothes? You do realize that we don’t work in the best part of town.”

  “Don’t start with the protective shit again. I can do whatever I want, Abel.”

  “I know you can. That’s why I want to ask you if you’ll go on a ride with me tonight.”

  “It’s almost midnight.”

  “I don’t give a shit what time it is. Are there only certain times of day that you’ll ride on a motorcycle?”

  “No, but —”

  “There will be no buts tonight, Cara, I can assure you of that. You’ve been through hell this week with work and losing a patient, and I’m sure you need to unwind. Just come on a ride with me.”

  “I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before.”

  “It’s okay. There’s not much to know. I’ll teach you and I promise I’ll be safe.”

  “Okay,” I say way too excitedly. I can’t believe he was sweet enough to think of me and come here. I wonder how long he waited for me to get off. I pop open my trunk and throw my purse in. Pulling out my hoodie I keep in case of emergencies or a breakdown. I slide it on, close my trunk, and zip my keys in the pocket.

  I turn towards Abel and put my arms out to my sides. “Will this do?”

  “Yup, you look perfect. Just put this on.” He passes me a smooth, black helmet, and as I go to put it on, I notice there is still a tag on the inside.

  “Can you take that out? It looks like it will hurt.”

  Laughing nervously, he takes the helmet from me, shredding the tag out of the inside and passes it back to me. “Here you go, sorry. I just bought it.”

  “It’s alright,” I say, throwing my leg over the bike.

  “The best advice I can give you is to just relax. Let me control the bike. You don’t weigh much so it shouldn’t be a problem. Just keep close to me.”

  He starts the bike and it’s an extremely loud rumble. It shakes my body, but after a few moments I get used to it. He pops the kickstand up and walks us backwards out of the parking spot. “You have to hold on, kitten.” I wrap my arms around his leather-clad body, and he takes off, causing me to hold him tighter.

  Excitement spikes through me as we move through the city. This is a pure adrenaline rush and I’ve never felt anything like this before. I rest my cheek against his shoulder and watch as everything passes us by. His scent is stronger now than ever before, and I wonder what it is that makes him smell so damn good. Each time we come to a stop he takes one of his hands and rests it on top of mine. Slowly stroking my skin or intertwining our fingers.

  I don’t want the ride to end, but I know I’m swimming in risky waters. As much as I want more with Abel, I know it will end in heartache, and I have to tell him that we have to just be friends. I enjoy being around him too much to risk ruining that. I also know the kind of person I am, and if I don’t stop this now and things progress, then I will fall in love and that will scare him away. It’s too hard to ignore him when we are around one another, so friends is going to have to work.

  Slowly, he pulls back into the hospital parking lot. Once the bike stops, I hop off and remove my helmet, feeling a little unsteady from getting used to my own two feet again. He turns the bike off and looks at me confused. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. Thank you so much for taking me out. The ride was awesome, not to mention the rush. I don’t know how you can ride this thing and stay calm.”

  He takes his helmet off as well.
“It takes some getting used to, but you’ll get there. So I did well for my first time having a passenger on the back of my bike?”

  Say what?

  There’s no way I’m the only girl who has ever been on the back of his bike. Then I remember the tag in the helmet and it clicks. Holy shit, I am the only one!

  “Yeah, you did great,” I reply, as I pop my trunk. I take my hoodie off and throw it in. I grab my purse and turn to look at Abel, but he is in a trance staring at my breasts. I look down and realize that my tank top is pulled really far down, almost exposing my firm nipples. Shit, I forgot a bra today too. Being sleep deprived must be affecting me.

  I pull my tank top up. “Don’t look at me like that. We’re friends. Remember we agreed we didn’t want to date anyone. You have to stop coming on to me like you’ve been. It’s too risky for us to be anything more.”

  “I’m sorry, Cara, but I don’t think I can just be your friend.”

  “Yes, you can,” I demand, afraid to lose him. “Just try, okay?”

  He nods his head and I walk over to him to give him a hug goodbye. I realize as I reach up, that my boobs are in his face and he is staring again. I slap him on the back of the head and walk off to my car. I turn back to him and he is rubbing his head watching my ass.

  “Stop it,” I yell. “You can’t check out your friends.”

  He winks at me and I get into my car frustrated at how difficult he is making this.

  The last few weeks have been boring. I’ve tried to talk to Ben, but every time I’ve gone to Radiation, he’s been with a patient. Things have been quiet. I haven’t heard much from anyone, except Alexa the night of the engagement when she called gushing. I couldn’t be happier for her and I can’t wait to get all of the details. She kept the conversation short as she said she had a million calls to make. Now I’m sitting on my couch enjoying my first day off in over a week, and am procrastinating doing anything productive. My eyes are heavy and I must have dozed off because my cell phone vibrates and makes me jump. I grab it off of my chest and look at the screen. It’s a text from Abel. I haven’t heard from him since our midnight ride, so I’m surprised that he texted me.

  What are you wearing? Is he serious? That’s the text he sends me after not talking to him for weeks? I text him back. You can’t ask your friends things like that. Oh wait. I haven’t talked to you in so long, are we even still friends?

  There. That would sure piss him off. Is he crazy? Well, I guess I am talking about Abel and he’s definitely a bit out there. Sorry, wrong person. I didn’t mean to send that to you. You know this friendship thing works two ways. I haven’t heard from you either.

  Ugh, he is so frustrating. Did he really mean to ask someone else what they were wearing? I know I shouldn’t be mad, but that pisses me off. Go fuck yourself, Abel, and text the right person.

  Oh, kitten, how I have missed you. I’m just fucking with you. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch.

  I forgot how exasperating he is. I should have known better than that; he was just messing with me.

  I don’t wear panties. I hit send before I realize what I’ve typed. Shit, that’s not something you tell your “friend.”

  I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist telling me. What else are you not wearing?

  I’m not going to respond to him. I’ve made it this long, and pushed away my feelings for him. I get up and go into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and a snack. I lie back down on the couch and look at my phone. There are no more texts. Good, he got my point. Bastard.

  I open my box of crackers and pop a few in my mouth. Turning the TV back on, I flip through the channels searching for something to watch. My phone vibrates again, and I grab it. Shit, now he is calling. I chew fast and answer.

  “Yes.”

  “Kitten, why didn’t you text me back?”

  I take a drink of my water. “Because I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

  “If that’s really the case, then why did you answer my call?”

  Geez, he’s so pushy. “I didn’t look at the screen; I thought it was someone else calling.”

  “Right. So you’re telling me that you always answer your phone by saying ‘yes?’”

  “Jesus, you’re such a pain in my ass. Just tell me what the hell you want.”

  He chuckles. “I want to know what you’re wearing.”

  “Fine. If I tell you, will you leave me alone?”

  “Maybe.”

  “In that case, you tell me first.”

  “I’m wearing a pair of grey sweatpants.”

  “And?”

  “That’s it, now it’s your turn, kitten.”

  I look down at myself. “I’m wearing grey sweats as well and a red tank top.”

  “And?” he whispers.

  “That’s it.”

  “Do you really not wear underwear?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Fuck,” he mutters and I hear the phone get muffled.

  “Where are you?”

  “In my bed. Where are you?”

  “My couch,” I say and yawn.

  “Are you tired?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “I’ll let you go then; I don’t want to keep you.”

  No, I don’t want to go; I like talking to him. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed him.

  “No, it’s okay. Why did you really call?”

  He takes a deep breath. “We’re having a BBQ at the station and I wanted to invite you.”

  “Like a date?”

  “No. Not a date, as friends.”

  “When is it?”

  “It’s tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Can we take your bike?”

  I can hear the smile in his voice. “Sure.”

  “Okay, I’ll go.”

  “Good. I’ll pick you up at noon?”

  “That works for me.”

  “See you tomorrow, kitten.”

  “Bye,” I say and hang up.

  My phone rings and I scramble to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hey, how are you?” It’s Alexa.

  “Hey, I’m good. How are you?”

  “I’m good. Vincent is at a conference this weekend and I wanted to see if we could hang out.”

  Shit. I don’t want to lie to her, but I look at the clock; it’s ten till noon. I know Abel will be here any minute and I don’t have time to explain what I’m doing right now. “Yeah, that sounds great. I just got called into work, but I’m free tomorrow.”

  “Okay, that’s perfect. Do you want me to pick you up in the morning and we can grab breakfast?”

  “Yeah, that’s great. I gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I hang up and finish strapping my black wedge sandals. I take one final look at myself in the mirror. I’m dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a black tank top. My blonde hair is flowing down my back in soft waves. I have very little makeup on, opting for a more natural look.

  The doorbell rings and I fly down the stairs. I open the door and almost melt at the sight of Abel. Damn, he looks good. He’s dressed in a pair of jeans, boots, and a leather coat. His hair is longer than the last time I saw him. He has it styled in a messy, sexy way.

  “Damn, Cara. Is that really what you want to wear today?” he asks barging into my house.

  “Yeah. Why?” I ask, clearly confused.

  He lets out a frustrated sigh and says, “Well, for starters I’m not taking you on my bike in those shoes.”

  I look down at myself perplexed. “What’s wrong with my shoes?”

  “If we got into an accident, I don’t even want to think about your feet. I was called to a fatal motorcycle accident this week, and it reminded me of how dangerous bikes can be.”

  “Okay, I’ll change. Don’t worry.”

  I turn to head upstairs, and Abel follows me. We enter my room and I go into my closet in search of a pair of boots. When I come out, he is standing with his hands in his pockets staring at m
e. I show him my leather knee high boots; they’re the only pair of leather ones I have.

  “They’ll do for the ride, but bring your sandals too.”

  I nod my head. He’s so bossy, and deep down I love it. I sit on the side of my bed and make quick work of taking off my sandals and putting on my boots. I stand up and then lean back down to pull the leather all the way up. When I look up at him, his jaw is clenched watching me.

  “Better?” I ask standing straight and placing my hands on my hips.

  “I guess, if that’s all you have.”

  “What’s your problem?”

  He steps closer and looks intently into my eyes like he is searching for something. “I’m really trying here, okay? Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?”

  I shake my head and say, “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing, let’s get going before we’re late.”

  He turns and walks out of my room. What does he mean? Today he’s so difficult to read. He needs to remember he was the one who called and invited me. I pick my sandals up off the floor and head downstairs. He’s waiting for me at the front door. I don’t know what to say to him, so I open the closet door to grab a hoodie.

  “Don’t bother, I got you something.”

  I look at him, surprised. “It’s just a leather jacket. After the accident I saw this week I can’t risk anything happening. That’s why I got so pissed about your shoes.”

  “Thank you,” I say, leaning over to give him a hug. He wraps me in his firm grip and I inhale deeply. Closing my eyes, I devour his scent. I know what I’m doing is wrong, but damn it, these feelings are so hard to fight. He pulls away from me and I slowly open my eyes. Ever so gently, he takes his fingers pushing the hair out of my eyes and behind my ear. I swallow hard and want him to kiss me. My body is a mess of raging hormones. He grabs my hand and we walk out of my condo towards his awaiting Harley. His grip is firm and I like how his hand feels around mine. Walking up to his bike, he opens one of the saddlebags and pulls out a cute little black leather jacket. I take it from him in exchange for my shoes, which he places in the bag. I slide the jacket on; it fits perfectly. I zip it up and look to him for approval.