Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story)

by Collins, LK

  “Oh darling, you made it. You look lovely,” she says embracing me in a tight hug.

  Letting go of Abel’s hand, I wrap both of my arms around her. She means the world to me. This woman has been there for me through every experience in my life whether it was good or bad. I can’t think of a time when she couldn’t make me smile; there is just something about her that makes everything better. Being in her arms makes everything right, regardless of the issues with my mom.

  When we break our hug, I can’t wait to introduce her to Abel. “Nana, this is my boyfriend, Abel.”

  She hugs him too. “So this is the one, Cara?” I feel embarrassed that he hears her question. I told her the other day that I felt like he was the one for me. “Yup, this is him.” She grabs his hand guiding him to sit down next to her. As their conversation begins to flow, I sneak away. I know she is harmless and only wants to get to know him better. She’s a little kooky in her old age, but in a good way. She’s funny as hell, so I know they’ll enjoy their time together. I look back over my shoulder as I wander off and she has her hand on his cheek. I can tell she instantly loves him, just like I do. Do I love him? Honestly I can say that I do. I can’t believe I’ve fallen in love, and with no one other than Abel. Glowing inside with this realization, I flutter among the guests and enjoy myself while my Nana spends time with Abel. I steer clear of my mother as I notice she is drinking heavily. It feels like we just got here when the sun starts to set. Most everyone has left, and it has been so great to see all of my family members. The day passed with record speed and now we have to say goodbye. This is always the hardest part.

  Hugging my Nana, tears fill my eyes. Every time I leave her, I feel like it may be for the last time, and the older she gets, the stronger that feeling is.

  Scanning over my face she says, “Don’t cry, honey. We’ll see each other soon. I know there’s a wedding in your future with the strapping, young fellow you’ve snagged. He may not want kids, but keep working on him. I told your mother the same.”

  “Nana,” I snap. She smiles at my tone, I’ve never yelled at her and she knows I don’t mean anything by it.

  “Yes, dear, do you have something to add?”

  Shaking my head, I’m unclear what to say to her. “Did he really say he wants to marry me?” I whisper.

  She squeezes my hand and ushers me off of the front porch towards the truck where everyone is waiting. “You’ll have to wait and see. But you’re right, he is the one for you.”

  Walking away I give one last wave to my family and climb into the truck. Amber and my mom are laughing when I get in, enjoying their own conversation. I stay quiet as Abel grabs my hand and I let my mind drift to thoughts of a future with him.

  Does he really want to marry me? I mean, did he really say that? We’ve never talked about those sorts of things, so I’m kind of shocked to think that’s where his head is. Do I want to get married, and even more — would I be any good at being a wife? I honestly feel dumbfounded, and then there’s the comment my Nana made about how Abel doesn’t want kids. I’ve always hoped for them one day. But honestly, I guess I could go either way. I’m not the warmest person and don’t know how that would be perceived by a child.

  If one were to ask, I would say that’s part of the reason why I’ve always fallen fast and fallen hard, deep down I’m searching for the affection my mom never gave me. I wonder what Abel’s reason for not wanting kids is. I’m sure it’s legit, but I’m not about to go and ask him what it is just yet. He squeezes my hand and I look at him.

  “You okay?” he asks.

  “Yeah. Thank you for going today. I hope it wasn’t too much for you to handle?”

  “It was great. I really liked your Nana. She reminds me a lot of my mom.”

  “Really?”

  “Uh huh. It was nice to visit with her and get that vibe.”

  I smile at him and shake my head knowing exactly what he means. “What are you two cackling about back there?” I ask, looking back at my mom and sister as they are laughing uncontrollably. My mom is clearly tipsy, as is my sister. They both continue to giggle, not paying attention to me or my question.

  “Mom, did you hear me? What’s so funny?” I ask.

  She glares at me and waves me off. “I heard you, Cara. I chose to ignore you. Why doesn’t Abel tell me why he doesn’t want to have kids with you?”

  “Oh my God, Mom. You can’t ask people questions like that.”

  She has an evil glow in her eyes and I don’t like it. “Abel, don’t answer her.” I forgot how crazy she could be, especially when she is drunk.

  “Well, Abel?” she slurs. “Is Cara not good enough for you?”

  “Okay. That’s way out of line. I’m not sticking around for anymore of this. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, because we’re leaving,” I say with authority in my tone to show her that I’m not only pissed, but I’m dead serious. I just don’t get where her hateful attitude comes from sometimes. Once we get back to her house, we are packing and driving back. I’m not about to watch her down another bottle of wine before she calls it a night and becomes more belligerent.

  After driving for six hours, we decide to stop in New Mexico again and stay at our hotel. Being back in the suite is a surreal feeling. I really love it here. It doesn’t matter that it’s midnight; I feel well-rested and not a bit sleepy. As I flip through the room service menu, I’m debating between chili cheese fries and a banana split. It feels good to be all alone with Abel and far away from my mom.

  Abel walks out of the bathroom naked, drying his hair. He looks so yummy; there are small droplets of water on his perfectly sculpted, tattooed body. The towel is covering his cock, as I scan my eyes down him. His bare feet leave a trail of watermarks as he steps over to his suitcase pulling out a pair of sweats, grey, my favorites.

  “Do you want me to order you anything from room service?” I ask.

  Dropping the towel, he steps on it and then glides his sweats on. “Sure, kitten. What were you thinking?”

  “Chili cheese fries and a banana split.”

  “Can I share that with you?”

  I glare at him.

  “Come on, Cara, you don’t want to get that full, especially with what I have planned for you tonight.”

  “Fine!” I snap jokingly and dial to order our food.

  He tosses a red box on the bed and sits next to it. Ooh, I love presents! Damn this woman for taking so long to take my order! Abel scoots behind me and starts massaging my shoulders. Mmm, that feels amazing. “Have them knock and leave the food in the hallway,” he whispers.

  I repeat his instructions and hang the receiver up. “What’s this for?” I ask.

  “Just for you. I wanted to give it to you the last time we came here, but I never got a chance since we crashed so early. I’m not letting another opportunity pass us by; open it.”

  He places the box on my lap and I notice it’s the same box I gave him his birthday presents in. I open the lid and tucked inside is a satin bag. Reaching in, I pull out a bright red dildo.

  I look at him surprised. “What’s wrong with your penis?” I ask.

  He laughs. “Nothing is wrong, at least I don’t think there is. This one vibrates and lets both of us pleasure you. I want to watch you slowly slide it in and out of your tight pussy while I do everything else to you that will make you go wild.”

  I swallow hard and Abel watches me set it on the bed and then I stand to get undressed for him. I’ve never used a dildo, so I’m a little unsure of what to expect. Taking my time, I expose my breasts as I lift his soft, white t-shirt over my head. Before I can remove my pants he tucks his fingers into the waistband and pushes them down my legs. Slowly, I step out of them standing before him naked. Taking a deep breath, I reach over and pick up … the little red dildo — that’s what I’ll call it — and slide it in my mouth, gradually sucking all the way up and then back down.

  Abel’s breathing skips a beat and I watch his hard dick puls
ate through his pants. When I remove little red from my mouth it is soaking wet and I take it right to my clit, rubbing back and forth. I walk to the bed and lean back on the pillows.

  “Take your pants off,” I demand.

  Abel complies and kneels above me as I rub the outside of my pussy. Both of us watch as I move it back and forth. Abel then touches the button on the bottom bringing the vibration to life. It takes my breath away, causing me to orgasm almost instantly. Fighting through the pleasure, I push the button again and this time it starts to pulsate. I can definitely handle this. As pleasure burns through my system, Abel takes little red from me and gingerly slides it inside of me. Fuck, it’s powerful. “Take it back, baby,” he commands, handing me the dildo and begins to pay attention to my breasts, sucking on my nipples, all the while deliberately teasing my clit.

  Room service knocks on the door and neither of us falters from what we are doing. “Grab your cock,” I tell him, and watch in complete lust as his skillfully trained hand wraps around the hard base of his shaft and moves back up.

  “Jesus, you’re fucking hot as hell,” he says.

  Closing my eyes, I enjoy the pleasure that is scorching through me. He plunges his mouth onto mine and I gladly accept his tongue. I moan in response and work myself close to oblivion.

  He slowly pulls away and says, “Can I do that for you again?”

  I let go and lean over grabbing his cock, jerking him just like he was. Abel pushes the button again on little red and I let go, calling out his name as he pulls the dildo all the way out of me and then pushes it back in, over and over and over. Slowing his movements, I stop twitching and he sets little red aside straddling me. His massive frame is pinning me beneath him, his hot dick is resting between my boobs and I grab each one squeezing them around him. Moving backwards and forwards he works himself between my breasts like he’s inside of me.

  I love watching him and how his body reacts to pleasure. Abel’s noises begin and I know he is close to coming. His brows are creased as he watches his cock move. He’s tucked tightly under my hold and it’s hot to watch him. I don’t know if he will actually come from this, but I want to please him, so I squeeze my breasts harder and am thankful for their size. A long moan escapes him, and he comes, spreading warm cum on my neck and chest.

  Looking down at me with that panty-dropping smile, I remember how he dropped my panties a long time ago. He hands me a towel and I wipe off. Before I can say anything, I’m on my stomach pinned beneath him.

  “Just so you know, kitten, I’m not done with you. After we eat, I plan to fuck you from every angle all night long. I’m going to make you come a dozen times while you scream my name and everyone in this hotel will know that I’m the one buried deep inside of you.”

  I’m panting from excitement and want to say fuck the food, but I don’t. Instead I look at him and say, “Hurry up and get the food.”

  He stands and bites my ass cheek. Pleasure is the only thing I feel from his teeth and I know I want more. I imagine his teeth tugging at my nipples, and my pussy clenches at the thought. Maybe I do like a bit of pain with my pleasure.

  I wake to warm kisses on my shoulder. Blinking a few times, I look over at Abel who is lying close beside me. We are both on our stomachs and I realize just how alike we are. His lips are so warm and soft, making me feel even sleepier. It’s hard at this point to keep my eyes open.

  “Come on, kitten, you can’t sleep all day. Don’t you want to get out and see the town?”

  “But bed seems like such a better idea.” I protest.

  Moving his hand he snakes it between my legs. “If we stay in bed, then neither of us will rest, and after last night, my dick needs a break.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “You think your dick needs a break? How do you think I feel?”

  “See? My point exactly. Why don’t we shower and you let me wash you?”

  Nodding my head, I kiss Mr. Persistent. I watch him gets out of bed and walk away from me naked to shower. When I go to move, every muscle in my body is sore, so I take my time and stretch before I make my way to the shower.

  Abel keeps his promise, washing me while I do my hair. I enjoy returning the favor, running my hands all over his vast body. Stepping out, we dry each other off and he asks me, “Do you want to eat breakfast here or somewhere else?”

  “Let’s get out of here and start exploring.”

  “Okay, I’m going to load the truck with our luggage and I’ll meet you out front.”

  Abel dresses and leaves the room. I finish getting ready and head downstairs. He’s waiting for me and we immediately start checking out the town – it’s beautiful; I love the southwestern feel it has. The streets are lined with small shops, and as we round the corner, I see a cute, little breakfast café.

  “Let’s try there,” I say pointing ahead.

  Abel drapes his arm over my shoulders as we walk in sync to our breakfast destination where a young Hispanic boy greets us. Clearly, this is a mom and pop place, and I love that. We decide to sit inside since it’s air-conditioned and there are not many other patrons in here.

  “Rosa is your server. She’ll be right with you,” the boy says.

  “This place is cute. I bet they have awesome green chili.”

  “Yeah, it’s great, kitten. So I take it that’s what you’re having for breakfast?”

  “Yup,” I say, eyeballing the breakfast burrito and closing my menu.

  “What do you want to do today?” he asks.

  “Doesn’t matter to me. Maybe we could head out and explore, shop a little, and wing it from there.”

  “Sounds great to me.”

  “Listen, I want you to know that I’m sorry for what my mom said to you. She was way out of line last night.”

  “Don’t mention it, babe. She was drunk and that’s to be expected. I can’t blame your grandma for talking to her about our conversation, but I’m glad you intervened. I wouldn’t want them judging me for such a personal choice.”

  Looking out the window, I think to myself about his words. What does he mean that he’s glad that he didn’t have to answer her? Rosa interrupts my thoughts, taking our order.

  “When do you have to go back to work?” Abel asks.

  “I’m on nights for the next three in a row. How about you?” I ask, adding cream and sugar to my coffee.

  “I work the next three in a row too. At least we kind of work the same schedule when we get back. Do you want to stay at my place or yours this weekend?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Okay. Eat up, Care-bear, ‘cause it’s going to be a long day.”

  “Abel! Don’t even start calling me that. I’m not joking with you.”

  He chuckles and digs into his food. We eat in silence and I focus on how grateful I am to be here. I really am lucky to have found someone like Abel and to have fallen in love with him. Holy shit, I can’t believe I love him, and completely different from any of the guys from my past. How in the hell am I going to tell him? What if he doesn’t feel the same way?

  After we eat, we head outside and wander aimlessly from store to store. Abel keeps a firm grip on my hand, which I love. Both of us enjoy joking and being silly with one another. I take the time to grab Alexa and a few girls from work some souvenirs. Heading back to the hotel, I’m sad to leave. I don’t want to go home and back to reality.

  The truck is hot when we hop in. Thankfully Abel loaded all of our stuff earlier, so we could just hit the road. “You look tired,” I say. “Do you want me to drive?”

  “Nah. I’m good, baby.”

  Pulling away from the hotel, a sadness hits me, but I’m ultimately thankful we made this trip together. I need to figure out exactly how to express my feelings. I probably need to talk to my Nana, as I’m curious about the details of her talk with Abel.

  Considering my track record and how I always scare guys off, I know I can’t make that mistake with Abel. Both he and what we have mean so much to me. I kn
ow I’m already in too deep with him and it scares me, but he promised that he would never hurt me. Ultimately, all I can do is follow my heart. I just hope my trust is finally in the right man.

  Since being back from our weekend getaway, things with Abel have been better than I knew possible. That’s not even the right word to describe how well the relationship is going. I guess I could say miraculous, marvelous, I don’t know. Now I’m getting all corny and ahead of myself, but damn it feels good to be in an open and trusting relationship.

  After work we are all going to meet at a local bar and have a few drinks for Jamie’s birthday. Abel’s bringing a few guys from the station and Jamie is demanding that we all dress-up as she’s made it a costume party. Regardless of what I’m wearing, it will be good to have a few drinks and unwind.

  “What are you wearing tonight?” Jamie asks as we finish up our paperwork before debriefing the night crew.

  “Uhh, I thought you brought me something. I just have a pair of jeans and some heels that I’ll change into with my cami and leather coat.”

  “You’re so lucky I thought about you. It’s nothing big, but I brought the accessories for either an angel or a cat.”

  Well, if she has a cat costume then I will definitely be wearing that. “I’ll take the cat one.”

  “Cool. We can change here before we go. I can drive us if you want?”

  “Yeah, that would be good.” I figure I’ll be going home with Abel, so I don’t need my car; he and I can pick it up tomorrow. After we debrief the night crew, I think about how exciting it will be to be dressed up as his kitten.

  Knowing Abel, he will get a hard on from just looking at me. Jamie and I head into the restroom and I slip out of my scrubs and into my black skinny jeans. I’m wearing black heels and a black cami to match. When Jamie comes flying out of the stall in her full on angel gear, I can’t help but laugh. Especially because I’m struggling with the cat tail, so decide to clip it to my belt loop. The costume is black as well and I love the look; the ears look cute as I adjust them on top of my head of blonde hair. One last touch of eyeliner and lip gloss and I am on my way.