Cowboy on My Mind

by R. C. Ryan

  “We finished up ahead of schedule.” He took a step toward her but was blocked by Bella, who wanted his attention first. “The inspector was impressed,” he said, giving his dog a pat on the head.

  “Well good. That’s great.” God, she already sounded guilty, and she hadn’t told him anything yet.

  “I may have gone twenty over the speed limit all the way back here too.” He wrapped her in his arms and lowered his mouth to hers. Nope. Uh-uh. She couldn’t get distracted now. She had yesterday, but enough was enough. Gently, she pushed him away. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll go see if the lasagna is ready.”

  Without giving him a chance to respond, she hurried to the kitchen, opened the oven, and peeked under the tin foil. The cheese had bubbled to perfection. Okay. Whew. She was really going to do this. Kate patted her pocket where she’d stashed the printout of the article. After a quick explanation of the situation, she’d hand him that right away. Before he could even ask questions. The article would make everything okay.

  When she finally carted the lasagna outside, Jaden was throwing the ball for Bella.

  “Dinner’s ready,” she called, setting the casserole on the trivet she’d put out earlier.

  “Looks good.” He jogged over. “But not as good as you.” His gaze slowly trailed down her body. “Maybe we should eat later…”

  No, no. They had to do this now. Kate scolded him with a little smirk as she sat down. “We don’t want it to get cold.”

  “Right.” Disappointment tugged at his mouth, but he sat too. “So what’d you do today—” His phone buzzed. “Sorry.” He dug it out of his back pocket. “Guess I’ll turn it off. I’ve been getting calls from weird numbers all afternoon.”

  Kate paused in the middle of cutting him a generous slice of lasagna. “Calls?” Her heart glitched. Coincidence. It had to be a coincidence, right? She’d sent Gregor the article at noon, just for his opinion, but it wouldn’t go to print for a few more weeks…

  “Now I got a text.” Jaden was squinting at his phone. “‘What’s your response to the Adrenaline Junkie article?’” he read. He looked up at Kate. “I had no idea Adrenaline Junkie was doing an article.”

  Oh no. No, no, no. Kate couldn’t seem to move. Her body had frozen to the chair. Instead of beating, her heart was zapping in her chest. “Oh God.”

  “I know.” Jaden rolled his eyes. “They’ve left me alone for a long time. Why are they all of a sudden interested again?”

  Tears flooded her vision as she stared at him wide-eyed. “I’m sorry. Jaden, I’m so sorry.” Regret burned through her, thawing the shock, letting her move. She got out her phone and went to Adrenaline Junkie’s website. Sure enough, her article had been posted on the blog, and it already had 14,253 shares on social media.

  When she looked up, he was staring at her. “Why?” His voice hollowed as though he was afraid to know. “Why are you sorry?”

  “I wanted to help.” She dug the folded papers out of her pocket. “To tell your side of the story.”

  “Wait.” His eyes narrowed into that distrustful glare she recognized from before. Before he knew her. Before he’d kissed her. Before they’d made love. “You sent them an article about me?”

  “No.” Don’t cry. She couldn’t let herself cry. “I work for them. I’m a senior editor there.”

  “What the fuck?” He pushed away from the table and stood. His eyes had hardened like he didn’t want her to see the pain behind his anger.

  Kate stood too. “I printed out the article so you could read it. I was going to show you tonight. I had no idea they’d post it today. It wasn’t supposed to go to print for a couple of weeks.” As if that made any of this better.

  Hand trembling, she handed him the papers, but he ripped them into pieces and tossed them into the wind. “I can’t believe this. You played me. You never told me you worked for Adrenaline Junkie.”

  “I was afraid to.” She eased a few steps closer to him, but he backed away. “I knew you wouldn’t even talk to me if I told you where I worked.”

  Jaden shook his head. Closed his eyes. When he opened them, the anger had been replaced with indifference. “Go. Get out.”

  “Wait. No.” He hadn’t even read the article yet…

  “You got what you wanted out of me.” His jaw went rigid. “Now you can go.”

  “I’m not like that.” He knew her. He knew the real Kate Livingston almost better than anyone else. “I don’t use sex to get stories.” She inhaled, calming the desperation in her voice. “I really feel something for you, Jaden. And I think you feel something for me too.”

  “I don’t.” His tone was as dull as his eyes. “I feel nothing for you.”

  The apathy in his gaze tempted her to look away, but she refused to give in. “Nothing? Really? Because you said all that stuff. About me changing things for you…about wanting to trust someone again.”

  “And you proved I can’t trust anyone.”

  No. She’d proved that he could get back on his board. That he could come out of hiding. That he could feel something again. He just needed to remember that connection they’d built. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Adrenaline Junkie. I should have. But spending time with you wasn’t only about the story for me.”

  He studied her for a minute, as though trying to judge her sincerity. “Why did you offer to watch my dog?” he finally asked. “Did you know who I was when we met on the street that day?”

  Before she even answered, she knew she would lose him. But she couldn’t lie. “Yes.”

  “And you saw an opportunity to use my trauma to your advantage.”

  “No,” she whispered. “I didn’t know…” How deeply he’d been wounded by all of it. How it haunted him so much. “I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to help. If you would just read the article—”

  “You’re the fakest person I’ve ever met.” Anger simmered beneath the words. “You’re worse than the reporters who ambushed me on the streets.” Jaden turned and strode down the deck stairs, heading for a trail worn into the tall grass at the edge of the forest. “Bella, come.” The dog looked at Kate and whined.

  “Come, Bella,” he commanded again.

  Head down, the dog trotted across the yard to follow him.

  Kate wanted to follow him, to force him to read what she’d written about him. She’d put her heart into that article. But it was too late. She’d lost him.

  Before Jaden disappeared into the trees, he glanced at her over his shoulder once more. “You need to be gone when we get back.”

  * * *

  If Kate had learned one thing about the women of Topaz Falls, it was that they were always prepared.

  When she pulled up at Everly’s adorable café on the outskirts of town, Jessa, Naomi, Darla, and Everly were all there to greet her. They ushered her into the old converted farmhouse where they’d already claimed a booth, and they were armed with enough comfort food to feed a whole cast of brokenhearted rejects from The Bachelor.

  “We’ve got chocolate and scones and muffins and wine and brick-oven pizza,” Darla announced.

  “We wanted to cover all our bases,” Jessa added, patting the open seat next to her.

  “Thanks.” Kate slumped into the booth, unable to look any of them in the eyes. She’d given them the gist of what had happened with Jaden via text so she wouldn’t have to relay the story in person.

  “It’s a great article,” Everly said, pushing a plate across the table. “Very heartfelt.”

  “Has he read it?” Naomi asked quietly. Her baby girl was sleeping contentedly in a wrap secured around her shoulders, and she obviously didn’t want to wake her.

  “No. I printed it out for him but he ripped it up.” Kate winced at the sting the memory brought.

  “Well that’s dramatic.” Darla popped a truffle into her mouth.

  “I’m sure he’ll calm down when he reads it,” Jessa offered.

  “I don’t know.” His eyes had been cold and du
ll. Not full of feeling like they were when he’d looked at her before. “He has every right to hate me.” Though she hadn’t exactly meant to, she’d tricked him. He was right. She’d seen an opportunity, and she’d selfishly pursued it, never considering how it might hurt him. Or her. “I should’ve told him a long time ago.” Like her new friends had recommended. They could all be sitting there saying I told you so.

  “It seems like people are really connecting with the article, though.” Everly glanced at her phone. “Up to 24,953 shares already. It’s going viral.”

  Yeah, she’d heard. On her way over, she’d called Gregor to have a few words with the man about posting something before she’d approved it, but he’d been too busy counting hits on their website to care much.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Jessa asked, cutting a slice of pizza into petite bites. “Head back to L.A.?”

  “I don’t have much to go back to. I quit my job.” She hadn’t planned to, but when she was talking to Gregor, Jaden’s words had echoed back in her head. You’re the fakest person I’ve ever met. He was right. She didn’t want to be a fake anymore. Even if it meant she had to slink home with her tail between her legs and move back into her parents’ basement for a while.

  “In that case, you can stay in Topaz Falls.” Naomi’s excitement woke the baby. She quickly stood to sway Charlotte back to sleep.

  “Yes!” Everly, Jessa, and Darla whispered in unison.

  “Stay?” She had a feeling there weren’t a ton of jobs for unemployed writers in a small town like Topaz Falls. “But I have to work.”

  Darla’s face brightened. “I’ve been thinking about hiring a manager so I can have a little more freedom to pursue my hobbies.”

  Everly grinned. “She means so she can have more time to date.”

  Darla ignored the snickers. “You’d be perfect management material,” she said to Kate. “You’re friendly, a good communicator, detail oriented…”

  “Not to mention gorgeous,” Jessa added. “That’ll be good for business.”

  Kate looked from face to face with another round of tears brewing. “It sounds incredible.” She had never fit anywhere. Not really. Not in her scholarly, overachieving family, not in her job. And here were these women she’d met only a week ago making a place for her.

  “We’re not fully booked until July.” With Charlotte back to sleep, Naomi slid into the booth across from Kate again. “So you can stay at the inn for another month until you find your own place.”

  “And if you need more time, I’ve got an extra bedroom,” Everly chimed in.

  “Wow.” A job, a place to live. But more importantly than either of those things, it came with the most generous, lively, compassionate friends she’d ever met. “Okay. I’d love to stay.”

  Excited squeals woke the baby again. Naomi stood and swayed while Darla poured everyone a celebratory round of prosecco.

  “Cheers!” Jessa held up her glass, and they all clinked away.

  “I can’t believe I’m moving to Colorado.” Maybe Jaden would stay too. Maybe after time, he would give her another chance to prove to him that he could trust her with his heart.

  “And you won’t have any problem building a freelance writing career now,” Jessa pointed out. “Not after the article goes viral.”

  That was true. With all of the exposure the article was getting in the mainstream media, she’d have a more recognizable name. “But that’s not why I did it.”

  “Of course not.” Everly reached over and squeezed her hand. “But maybe now you can focus on the kinds of things you’ve always wanted to write. You’d be great at profile pieces. Diving past the surface to really capture someone’s heart.”

  Gratitude welled up in Kate’s eyes once more. “Maybe I’ll start with a profile on the extraordinary women of Topaz Falls.”

  Chapter Ten

  Secluded Mountain Cabin on 30 acres! Exceptional privacy! Hidden driveway!

  Jaden clicked on the real estate listing that promised the escape he needed. Perfect. The place was in No Man’s Land, Canada, which sounded like paradise right now, considering it had been almost three days since that article had gone viral and the influx of calls and texts from reporters all over the world hadn’t even started to slow down. Some paparazzi idiots had even camped out at the end of the street just waiting for him to leave.

  At the moment, moving out of the country looked like a pretty damn good option. Except Canada might not be far enough away. Maybe Siberia…

  Bella slunk into the office with the same forlorn posture she’d moped around in since Kate had left three nights ago. Didn’t matter that Jaden had taken the dog on two hikes a day via their secret trail out back, or that he’d thrown the ball for her, or even that he’d given her extra treats. She still gave him those sad, pathetic eyes every time he looked at her.

  “Come here,” he said through a sigh. The dog trotted over. Was it just him or did she look more guilty than sad this time?

  Bella came and sat at his feet, and sure enough, she had something in her mouth.

  “Drop it,” he commanded.

  The dog complied all too happily. Didn’t take him long to figure out why. It was a hair tie. Kate’s hair tie. The one Jaden had tugged on to free her soft, long hair when she’d spent the night with him, when it felt like nothing could damage the connection they’d built.

  Except for lies. Those could pretty much destroy anything.

  The ache that had taken up residence in his gut sharpened. “You’ve got to get over her, Bella.” Yeah, sure. He was telling Bella. Not himself for the thousandth time. “I know it’s hard being here.” Seeing as how this is where the three of them had played house for the better part of a week. “But we’ll move on.”

  He scrubbed his hand behind the dog’s ears until she leaned into him with a purr-like growl. “I’m looking for a place to go right now. We can start over.” Again. He was getting pretty damn good at it. “Then it won’t be so hard to forget.” And yet he already knew how that logic worked. He hadn’t seemed to forget either one of his parents, even though they’d pretty much abandoned him the day he was born.

  Jaden turned back to the computer screen. What choice did he have, though? When he and Kate were messing around about her using him for his bathtub and massage skills, he had no idea how much truth hid inside those jokes. While he’d been thinking about a future with her, she’d been carefully taking notes on his story so she could expose him to the masses. How could he have been so stupid?

  A sound outside the window forced him to leave that question unanswered.

  Bella’s ears perked.

  Awesome. Just what he needed. The paparazzi sneaking around his backyard. Jaden shut his laptop and crept along the office wall, staying just behind the curtain. He almost laughed when he peered out and saw Levi Cortez tromping across the back deck like some kind of criminal.

  The dog saw, too, judging from the mad swing of her tail. Bella scratched at the window, barking and whining at the prospect of company.

  “Easy, girl.” Jaden nudged her out to the living room, where they met Levi at the French doors. “What’re you doing here?” he asked as he let him in. He had a feeling he already knew.

  Levi sauntered past him in his cowboy’s gait. “Haven’t heard from you for a while. Figured I’d check in. And I saw the photographers outside, so I came around back.” The man sat on the leather couch in the living room and leaned back like he had all day. Bella followed him, nosing his hand as though she’d been starved for attention the past three days.

  Jaden stood where he was. “You could’ve called.”

  “I have called. You haven’t answered.”

  Yeah, he hadn’t even looked at his phone in a good twelve hours. After getting a text that had asked if he planned to marry Kate Livingston, he’d thrown the damn thing in a drawer. But Levi wasn’t here to simply check up on him. And Jaden had had enough bullshit for one week. “Why are you really here?” He
positioned himself in the chair across from the couch so they were facing off.

  Levi grinned. “You haven’t had the pleasure of meeting my sisters-in-law, Naomi and Jessa. But they’re about as obstinate as a bull that’s lost his balls. And they happen to like Kate. So here I am.”

  Jaden shook his head to stop Levi right there. “You’re wasting your time,” he informed his friend. “I can’t stay here now. I’ve already found a place in Canada. You have no idea what it’s like to have to hide in your house.”

  “So quit hiding. Who cares if they take pictures or write more stories?” Levi leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, still casual but also more determined. He obviously still had that stubborn streak. Typical bull rider.

  “According to Jessa and Naomi, Kate’s pretty broken up about everything.”

  “She’s good at pretending.” Jaden knew that for a fact. He’d replayed every scene of their tryst in his head. Every kiss. Every story she’d shared. Not once had he suspected she’d turn on him. That was the worst part. After everything he’d been through, he’d become an expert at sniffing out ulterior motives, and she’d completely snowed him.

  “I get why you’re pissed off,” Levi said. “But it seems to me you used her too.”

  The anger that had only started to recede churned again, growing bigger, stronger. “How do you figure?”

  The edge in Jaden’s voice didn’t seem to faze Levi. He simply shrugged. “When we talked on the phone last week, you told me you didn’t think about the accident when Kate was around. So you used her as a distraction. Or did you screw her that night for her benefit?” The obvious sarcasm confirmed Levi already knew the answer. It also confirmed that word about him and Kate had gotten around Topaz Falls faster than Jaden could’ve dreamed.

  “I guess that’s it, then. We were using each other.” That wasn’t how it felt, though. He hadn’t intentionally used her. It wasn’t about the sex for him. It was that he thought she’d made the effort to see him. The real him. The one no one else cared to notice.

  “She wasn’t using you.” Levi sounded so sure, but how could he know? He hadn’t been there. He hadn’t seen how good Kate was at drawing information out of him. How she’d lured him into telling stories that she’d probably written up in the fucking article.