Letter From a Rake

by Sasha Cottman

  ‘Fine, let him come to every party for the rest of the season. We mean nothing to one another. He is merely an acquaintance.’

  Charles ran his hand through his hair. ‘I would be more inclined to believe you if I didn’t happen to know who called on Papa today to ask if he could court you,’ he replied.

  She watched his gaze as it tracked Alex’s progress across the room. ‘Yes. Well. Papa said no, and that’s the end of it, he cannot court two women at the one time,’ she replied, before taking a large mouthful of champagne. ‘Let him come.’

  Millie’s firm resolve and disinterested veneer began to crumble the moment Charles drew in close and whispered. ‘Be brave, my girl, he has seen me and is headed this way.’

  She put her hand to the precious sapphire necklace, touching it as a talisman, while keeping her back facing the direction from which she knew Alex now approached.

  ‘Ashton, I can’t believe I finally found one of you. I was beginning to think you had come and gone and I had completely missed you,’ Alex said, with obvious relief in his voice.

  ‘Brooke, I heard you were back in town,’ Charles replied.

  Millie saw Alex offer her brother his hand. Charles shook his head and put his right hand in his pocket, in an unmistakable snub.

  ‘Oh,’ Alex said, as a look of surprise appeared on his face. Millie clenched her left fist tight.

  Good, let him know disappointment for a change.

  A slight smile formed on her lips as she heard her brother address Alex in the most unfriendly of fashions. ‘Don’t bother, Brooke, save it for the well-wishers. I am sure there are plenty of them in the room tonight. Now if you don’t mind, I think it best if you clear off and leave us alone, because if you don’t, I might feel the need to rearrange your deceitful face.’

  Millie bit her lip. Charles always did have a way with words, especially when he was in a fighting mood. She looked up at her brother, fiercely proud of her champion. She had a knight who not only defended his sister’s honour but took a stand for her broken heart.

  A spark of bravery found its way to her heart as she realised that after tonight she might never get another chance to speak honestly to Alex.

  ‘I think you had better do what he says, Lord Brooke, my brother doesn’t normally give his opponents a second chance to walk away,’ she said, her gaze still firmly locked on Charles.

  A long moment of silence followed before Alex spoke again. ‘Millie?’

  Before turning to face him, she allowed herself a brief second to compose herself. She turned and stared Alex down. ‘As we are no longer friends, Lord Brooke, you shall address me as Miss Ashton. Using my first name shows a lack of decorum, which I find personally distasteful.’ She watched as his eyes grew wide with shock.

  ‘What have you done to yourself?’ he stammered. ‘Where are all your beautiful curves?’ He took a step forward and looked closely at her face. ‘And where is your magical little nose ring? Oh Millie, please don’t tell me you have become the same as the rest of them?’

  Charles reached out and took a firm hold of Alex’s evening jacket. He pulled Alex towards him, before giving him a hard shove. Alex staggered back, his gaze still fixed on Millie.

  ‘As I said before, Brooke, you are not welcome in my sister’s company. So unless you want to find yourself sitting on the floor, wiping your own blood from your face, you had better make yourself scarce,’ Charles ordered.

  Millie laid a gentle hand on her brother’s arm and steered him away, taking the opportunity to give a small backwards glance at Alex. The look of contempt she gave him was well worth the hours spent practising in front of her bedroom mirror.

  ‘Come, Charles, I think he understands our position. Let us not create a scene; he is simply not worth it. Besides, we should be heading back to the dance floor; the orchestra will be starting up again soon. And since my dance card is full, I should hate to disappoint any of my gentlemen friends by lingering elsewhere and missing the fun,’ she said.

  Turning to Charles, she gave a nod of her head and allowed him to escort her away, leaving Alex standing in their wake.

  As they walked away, Millie made a point of stopping and greeting other guests, smiling and shaking hands as they moved through the crowd towards the main ballroom.

  Once they cleared the reception room, and Alex was out of sight, Charles let out a large sigh. ‘Well done, Millie,’ he said.

  She didn’t reply. The shock of seeing Alex after all those weeks had sunk in and drained her resolve. She gripped her brother’s arm tightly and puffed out her cheeks.

  I will not cry in the middle of a reception. I shall not give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt me. I am not that girl any more. I will not cry.

  ‘I think I shall have that second glass of champagne now, if you please, Charles,’ she replied.

  Alex stood rooted to the spot as he watched Millie’s progress through the throng, until she finally disappeared from view.

  His chest hurt from where Charles Ashton had laid his fisted hand. Although he was not a strongly built man, Charles had a powerful boxer’s arm. He gave silent thanks that Charles had not made good on his threat to rearrange Alex’s face.

  ‘Well, how did you go?’ a familiar voice asked.

  He turned to see David, who wore a worried look. ‘I’ve had no luck with finding Millie or Charles, but I did manage to find their parents. You were right: something very odd is going on,’ David explained.

  ‘I found them, but they made it crystal-clear that I am no longer considered to be a friend. Ashton threatened physical violence if I came near his sister again,’ Alex replied.

  ‘Do you think Ashton knows about you kissing Millie?’ David asked. ‘That could explain the extremely cool reception you received.’

  Alex shook his head. ‘If Millie’s family suspected for one minute that I had so much as touched her, I wouldn’t have been thrown out of their house by Mr Ashton. Instead, you would be reading our betrothal notice in the Gazette tomorrow morning. No, something else is amiss. I just can’t put my finger on it.’

  ‘Well, I don’t think we are going to get much more out of anyone tonight. How about I call the carriage around and we head home and try to come up with another approach?’ David said. ‘You might have got some much-needed sleep this afternoon, but I still feel like I’m ready for the knacker’s yard.’

  Alex looked at his brother. He was in two minds as to whether he should do as David said, or try to talk to Millie again. ‘All right, I will do one last turn of the room and see if I can find her. I shall meet you outside shortly,’ Alex replied.

  David gave a nod of his head and started towards the front door. As Alex watched him go, he saw his brother stop and greet some old friends. He smiled. Once David started talking, he would have to be dragged out of the party, so Alex knew he had plenty of time to try to track Millie down once more.

  He found her on the dance floor. She was twirling through a waltz with a tall thin man he did not know, and she was laughing. The stunning blue gown she wore hugged tightly to her new, slimmed-down frame, her smaller breasts now gently peeking over the top of the neckline. The Millie of old would have spilled over the top of the bodice, if she had dared to wear that style of gown.

  She moved gracefully through the turns of the dance, while he struggled to comprehend the sight before his eyes. Where was his Millie, with all her luscious curves? Who was this creature who now inhabited her reduced body and regarded him as a mere acquaintance?

  His breath caught as his body remembered who she was and how it still ached for her. As for his heart, nothing of what he felt for her had changed during their weeks apart. He was in love with her.

  A tap on his shoulder roused him from his musings. He turned to find Lady Clarice Langham staring at him with a bemused look. Clarice Langham, David’s secret love. Tall, thin and absolutely nothing like Millie. While Millie had curves and inviting breasts, Clarice struggled to make any impre
ssion in her clothes. To Alex’s mind, she bordered on dowdy. If David failed to understand Alex’s attraction to the now slightly less chubby girl from the other side of the world, his own choice of inamorata left his brother equally at a loss.

  He gave her a bow. ‘Lady Clarice, how nice to see you, I trust you are well.’ She let out a snort. ‘Is that it? You keep me waiting and all you can do is to ask after my health?’

  He frowned. What on earth was she talking about?

  Clarice took a step forward and brought her face close to his. ‘Why haven’t you called on me since you returned?’ she asked. Having been friends with her for a number of years, Alex had exchanged enough silly banter with Clarice over the years to assume she was in jest. He gave a laugh.

  ‘Well, we only arrived back in London yesterday. I was still working my way through the long list of young ladies I have to pay my respects to. Fear not, you were on top of the next page,’ he chuckled. ‘Of course, I can now tick your name off.’

  Her face fell and he saw her bottom lip quiver.

  A cold fear gripped him. Was there nothing he could do right this evening?

  ‘I see. I didn’t realise I was that low down on your list. Far be it from me to assume I was any sort of priority,’ she replied. Tears were forming in her eyes and Alex had the sinking feeling Clarice Langham was about to cry all over him.

  He shook his head, while his mouth opened and closed silently. With his mind in a whirl, he could think of nothing else to do. He reached out, took hold of Clarice’s hand and gave her a gentle pat on the glove as if to say ‘there, there.’

  Not satisfied that Alex’s evening was already a complete disaster, fate then decided that the music should stop, and Millie and her dance partner would exit the dance floor right next to where he stood. He saw Millie take in the sight of him holding Lady Clarice’s hand and his heart sank just that little bit more.

  Their gazes met for an instant and he knew the situation was now hopeless, as Millie gave him the same look she had given him on the dance floor at Ashton House the moment before she had walked away. For the second time this evening he had failed in his efforts to talk to her.

  ‘I am sorry if there has been some misunderstanding; I did not mean to speak out of turn,’ Clarice said, withdrawing her hand. ‘I should not have been so forward. Please excuse me.’ Before Alex had a chance to say anything else, Clarice turned on her heel and disappeared back into the crowd.

  ‘What on earth was that all about?’ he whispered to no one in particular. ‘This would have to be the strangest night of my life.’

  His gaze swept back over the room, where it fell on Millie once more. She had her back turned to him, and Charles stood at her side. His arm was loosely draped around his sister’s waist, while she leaned gently against him. When Charles dropped a tender kiss on the top of Millie’s head, she looked up at him and smiled.

  Alex would have given everything he owned at that moment to swap places with Charles Ashton. But it didn’t take a genius to know the reason Charles needed to comfort his sister. Her show of bravery had lasted just long enough to see Alex off. He had hurt her, the woman he loved.

  He closed his eyes and sighed. For the first time in his life he understood what it was to be unpopular, and he certainly wasn’t enjoying the strange prickly sensation. He was Alexander the Great, suave and debonair. Men did not threaten him with physical violence, and he didn’t make women cry.

  His conscience gave him a sharp dig in the ribs. He knew he had made his fair share of young ladies go home and cry over him. Until now, he had never had any reason to face the consequences of his silly, hurtful games.

  Tonight, in the space of half an hour, he had watched two girls on the verge of tears and known it was his fault. In the middle of a crowded London ballroom, Alex Radley faced the ugly truth that he was nothing more than a callous, selfish heartbreaker.

  The orchestra struck up a tune and he watched as Millie took her brother’s hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.

  Realising his cause would not be furthered any more tonight, he admitted defeat and went to find David and their ride home.

  After removing his key from the front door, Alex slammed the door loudly behind him.

  The unexpected hour-long walk home had done nothing to improve his already sour mood. When he discovered David had abandoned him, he was too angry to hail a hack. Instead, he had buttoned up his coat and marched all the way back to Bird Street. Anyone foolish enough to have made an attempt to rob him would have seriously regretted their decision.

  ‘David!’ he yelled from just inside the front door. ‘She had better be the best damn courtesan in town for you to have up and left me like that.’

  An upstairs door closed and David appeared at the top of the stairs. He had his heavy greatcoat on and his soft travel bag was slung over his shoulder.

  ‘Where the blazes are you off to at this time of night?’ Alex bellowed.

  As he reached the bottom of the stairs, David threw the bag down onto the tiled floor. Opening the store cupboard, he withdrew two pairs of clean boots. He opened the bag and stuffed them inside. He picked up the bag and started for the front door.

  Alex marched across the front entrance and stood in front of his brother, blocking David’s exit. With his hands fisted at his side, Alex stood his ground, ready to demand an answer.

  As David made to step around him, Alex countered his move and the brothers stood toe to toe, angrily eyeing one another.

  ‘Get out of the way, Alex. If you don’t, I shall beat you to a bloody pulp,’ David replied. The calm in his voice sat on the thin edge of rage.

  ‘Not until you tell me where you are going and why you left me at the reception,’ Alex replied. ‘You owe me that much, at least.’

  David threw the bag down again, this time hitting Alex in the leg.

  ‘I don’t owe you a thing, you stupid arse. Not content with making a mess of your own life, you decided to ruin mine.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Alex replied.

  David sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out again. ‘Let me ask you this: did you mail the letter I wrote for Millie Ashton?’ he asked, in a tone normally reserved for a recalcitrant child.

  Alex screwed up his face. ‘Well, yes and . . . no.’

  ‘What the devil does that mean?’

  ‘I didn’t send the letter you handed to me – because I had already sent the other letter.’

  ‘That much I now understand. But what I cannot comprehend is why you didn’t bother to tell me,’ David snapped.

  Alex sighed. ‘I found the original letter on the floor while you were asleep. I gave it to a footman to post. By the time you gave me the other letter the following day it was all too late. I reasoned that a passionate letter to Millie was better than a kind sweet one, so I told you a small white lie.’

  ‘Which unfortunately has turned into a very large problem,’ David ground out.

  Alex felt his heart sinking further by the minute. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean that the first letter was not meant for Millie Ashton. I sat down to pen a love letter for you, but after a couple of pathetic attempts, I knew I couldn’t do it. So, I had a couple of glasses of whisky and ended up writing a letter to the woman I love. A letter in which I poured out my heart.’ He put a hand over his mouth and Alex saw tears form in his brother’s eyes. David shook his head as he fought to keep his composure. ‘I told her how much I love her and the hope I hold for a future with her as my wife. A letter filled with impossible dreams.’

  David pinched his thumb and forefinger into the inner corners of his eyes. ‘A letter I addressed, but never signed. A letter I thought had made its way into the fire along with all the other failed attempts.’

  ‘Oh, David. Oh no,’ Alex whispered. ‘I picked it up off the floor, I thought it was —’

  ‘NO! You never thought anything, Alex. You just took my letter, sealed it and sent it of
f without giving it a second thought. And then you had the audacity to lie to me about it,’ David snapped. He drew his hand over his eyes, but when he took it away, more tears quickly replaced those he had wiped away.

  ‘But the footman I showed the letter to said it was addressed to Millie. That’s why I let him put it in the post,’ Alex pleaded.

  ‘Did he, Alex? Really? Tell me Alex, what did he say, exactly?’

  Alex racked his brains, trying to recall the conversation three weeks earlier. After leaving David sleeping in the chair, he had found the head footman and handed him the letter to put in the morning’s post. The young man had checked it and confirmed the address.

  ‘Did he tell you it was addressed to a young lady in Mill Street?’ David asked, taking in a deep breath.

  ‘Yes,’ Alex replied, feeling the ground shifting under him.

  David bent down and picked up his bag. ‘You may recall the Earl of Langham and his daughter live on Mill Street, five doors from where the Ashton family live. Clarice was the lady the footman was referring to when he read the name on the letter. So you signed my love letter, and then had it sent to the only woman I have ever loved. She now thinks you intend to marry her, and so does most of London society.’

  Too stunned to respond, Alex could do nothing except watch, helpless, as David pushed past him. As he opened the front door, David looked back and said. ‘There is nothing you could say right now that would make any difference. As far as I am concerned, you have made this mess, now you can lie in it. If anyone calls for me, I will be at Strathmore House.’

  ‘But the house is closed up; the staff won’t be expecting any of the family for another couple of weeks,’ Alex stammered, in a vain attempt to stop his brother from leaving.

  David nodded his head. ‘Yes, I know, but I would rather sleep under the Holland covers at home than here under the same roof as you. To be honest, the way I am feeling at the moment, the temptation to murder you in your bed is too strong for me to remain. You are on your own from now on, Alex. Good luck with extracting yourself from this bloody disaster; you are going to need it.’