by Hazel Kelly
He closed the rings back in their boxes and returned them to the drawer. “There’s one more thing I wanted to ask you.”
“Shoot.”
“Will you be my best man?”
“No.”
He furrowed his brows. “Really?”
“Really,” I said, crossing an ankle over my opposite knee.
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “I can think of three reasons off the top of my head.”
“I’m listening.”
“For one thing, it’s weird enough that you’re going to marry a woman my age.”
“At least I don’t look my age.”
I laughed. “Right. Good thing.”
His face dropped.
“Second of all, I wouldn’t do that to Mom.”
He scoffed.
“And lastly, you should ask Frank. He’s your best friend. And weren’t you his best man?”
“Yeah.”
“So he should do it.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“What?! Then why the hell ask me?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t want your feelings to be hurt so it seemed like the right thing to do.”
“I don’t get you sometimes.”
“You’ll be a groomsman though, right?”
“Sure.”
He raised a finger at me. “But no fucking the bridesmaids.”
I groaned. “You’re not even officially getting married yet.”
“It doesn’t matter. I know that would stress Ella out on the day, so maybe if you start visualizing how you’re going to keep it in your pants now-”
“It won’t be an issue.”
“Exactly.”
“No. I mean it won’t be an issue.”
“Why not?”
“Cause,” I said. “I’m seeing someone.”
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she work here?”
“No. She doesn’t.”
Will craned his neck forward. “What’s her name?”
Oh shit what have I done?!
“Ben?”
“Her name is Carrie,” I said, my guts rolling over.
He stuck his lower lip out. “Huh.”
“Huh, what?”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m impressed.”
“Well if you’re impressed now, just wait till you meet her.”
And then I excused myself so I wouldn’t dig myself any deeper.
Chapter 17: Carrie
I woke up face down on my bare mattress.
It was the first time I’d slept in my bed- or on, rather- since I caught Simon.
I guess sleeping there only bothered me before cause I hadn’t gotten drunk enough.
But I certainly took care of that last night- with Brook’s help, of course.
Too bad I didn’t know how many shots of tequila it took to make me pass out there. Otherwise, I could make sure I had that same amount every night until sleeping in my bed was no big deal.
Then again, maybe I was cured after my night out on the town.
But if being cured meant I was going to feel like there was an axe wedged in my face forever, I’m not sure sleeping in my bed was worth it.
I lifted my head just enough to look at the clock.
It was already past ten.
Thank god.
Not only was most of the morning over, but it wasn’t too early to buy booze, and I could already tell I was going to need something to take the edge off my looming hangover.
And I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to exercise my freedom now that Simon wasn’t around to judge me for even suggesting the idea.
But what to have with my wine?
And then it hit me.
I’d get those refrigerated Pillsbury croissants and fill half of them with cheese and half with chocolate.
Because I was single and could do whatever the fuck I wanted.
But I had to hurry. After all, I was still a little drunk, and every moment that brought me closer to sobriety was only going to make it harder for me to get my ass to the store.
I pushed up into a sloppy cobra pose, my mouth so dry it felt like I’d been drinking sand all night. Then I made my way to the bathroom, keeping my head down.
When I gathered the courage to raise my face in the mirror, I was surprised to see that my eye makeup still looked fantastic. I needed eye drops if I wanted to avoid having the police called on me- and some blush- but I decided I could wash my face later.
I did brush my teeth, though, because I didn’t want people to wilt in the street as I passed. Plus, nothing satisfied me quite like a good tongue scrub and a slippery smile.
I also combed my hair enough to make sure I didn’t have one of those bird’s nest knots at the back of my head that can’t be seen in the mirror but can be seen by everyone else.
Finally, I slipped on some sweatpants and my coat before sneaking out to complete my mission.
Halfway down the elevator, I felt a violent hunger scraping in my belly and wished I’d grabbed something on the way out of the house.
Not that I had anything. After all, food shopping was something I associated with domestic bliss and people whose lives weren’t a fucking disaster so, needless to say, I hadn’t been in a while.
I grabbed a wire basket when I arrived at the store and held it in front of me, avoiding eye contact with anyone who looked mildly responsible or sober.
Meanwhile, I wondered why there weren’t signs marking the aisle’s contents lower down for people who couldn’t crane their necks up. I mean, was leaning back to look at the ceiling really necessary?
After a few minutes, I checked my spoils. I had chips and spinach dip, cheese, chocolate, and two rolls of Pillsbury croissants. I just needed some booze, and I’d be all set for my casual Sunday party for one.
“Carrie?”
My heart froze in my chest. I twitched my nose and waited to disappear, but it didn’t work.
“Starting early are we?”
I looked down at the bottle of whiskey in my hand and then up into Ben’s handsome face, which was framed by the most adorable bed head I’d ever seen. “Hi.”
“Or is it finishing late?”
I forced a laugh. “Neither,” I said, feeling about as unconvincing as I must’ve looked. “I’m just having a few girlfriends over for some nibbles and whiskey sours later.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Nibbles and whiskey sours?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Yeah,” I looked down at his basket. It contained half a dozen craft beers and a bag of chips. “Is that your idea of a healthy breakfast?” I asked, my stomach growling.
“No.” He shook his head. “But from the state of my roommate when he came home last night, either he’s going to need the hair of the dog or I’m going to need something to help me tolerate him.”
“I see.”
“Well,” he said, his eyes smiling. “I won’t keep you. Just thought I’d say hello.”
I exhaled when he turned back towards the wall of beer in front of him. Was there no fucking justice in this world?! I mean, of all the people I could run into right now…
And then I saw him.
He was alone. Near the deli section. It was strange to see him in the grocery store. He used to hate going. I think it was a sexist thing cause his dad didn’t do it either. Fuck.
I looked down at my basket. It was too full to ditch, and Ben was still loitering behind me. Plus, I was starving, and I had my heart set on my croissant creations.
And then Simon started walking in my direction and I panicked.
“Ben?” I asked, turning around.
“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows but kept his eyes on the back of the brown bottle in his hand.
“I know this is going to sound crazy,” I said, lowering my voice.
He looked at me. “What?”
“Do you promise not to judge me for what I’m about to ask you?”
He furrowed his brow. “Sure.”
I swallowed. He was so handsome it hurt a little.
“What’s up?”
“Could you just, like, pretend to be my lover for the next five minutes?”
One side of his mouth curled up. “Your lover?”
I shrugged. “Or my boyfriend. Whatever.”
He squinted at me.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but if you could just pretend we’re here together and that you think I’m the most beautiful woman in the entire world-”
He smiled. “I think I can do that. Sweetie.”
I exhaled and my shoulders dropped several inches.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I raised my eyebrows and walked up to him. “Sure.”
“Does your request have anything to do with the guy headed this way?”
I pursed my lips and nodded. “It has everything to do with him.”
He turned to the side and put his arm over my shoulder so it was hanging around my neck. It was such a possessive stance it was obvious that he understood just what I needed.
“Why don’t you read the back of this bottle with me,” he said, raising it up in front of us. “And we’ll pretend it’s the fucking funniest shit we’ve ever read.”
I burst out laughing before I even read the first line, my nervous energy rattling through me like a shock.
And when he started laughing at the genuine fit I was having, I didn’t even care.
Cause it felt so good to let it out, so good to discover I hadn’t forgotten how.
And when he hugged my shoulders against his chest, a single tear squeezed from my eye.
And as I wiped it away with my fingers and struggled to catch my breath, I was overwhelmed with gratitude at the kind thing he’d done.
Chapter 18: Ben
I’d never seen anyone laugh so hard, so desperately.
It was like she couldn’t stop until all the giggles got out.
Eventually, she bent over and put her hands on her knees to catch her breath.
“You okay?” I asked.
She stood again and put a hand on her chest. “Thanks for that.”
“No problem,” I said. “You’d do it for me.”
She cocked her head. “Something tells me you wouldn’t ask someone to do that.”
“Sure I would,” I said with a shrug. “Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to be okay.”
She smiled, her brown eyes pinching at the edges.
“You are okay, right?”
She nodded. “I will be.”
I reached down and picked up our baskets.
“I can get that,” she said, reaching for hers.
“Sorry,” I said, tightening my grip. “But I have a role to play.”
She pursed her lips.
“Are you ready to check out?”
“Yeah,” she said. “But if you don’t mind, maybe we could take our time? I don’t want to have to do that again.”
“No?” I craned my neck back. “I thought we were good together.”
She blushed. “You know what I mean.”
We crossed the shiny tile floor and headed down the closest aisle.
“So that’s the idiot that broke your heart…”
“Shhh.” She turned to me with wide eyes. “He could be right there,” she said, pointing to the next aisle.
“Is it a secret that he’s an idiot?”
She kept her eyes on the floor, placing one foot in front of the other at a snail’s pace. “I suppose not.”
“Can I ask what happened?” I asked, lowering my voice to match hers.
She scrunched her face. “Wouldn’t it be terribly unprofessional of me to burden you with my personal problems?”
“It would if we were being professional right now… instead of dating.”
“Mmm.”
“You don’t have to say if you don’t want.”
“No, it’s okay,” she said. “It’s not like he deserves my defense.”
“Your call.”
She sighed. “I caught him with someone else.”
I stopped in my tracks. “What?”
“We were engaged and everything.”
“Carrie, I’m so sorry.” I stared at the woman in front of me and tried to figure out how any man could dishonor her that way.
“Me too.”
“When?”
She started walking down the aisle again. “The beginning of the month.”
I furrowed my brow and looked at her. “Do you want me to kill him?”
She laughed. “No, that’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded and looked down, her long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. “I’m sure.”
“So now what?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I try to remember who I was before I was with him.”
I nodded. “Sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I’d be if I married him.”
“I guess not.”
She looked both ways when we reached the end of the aisle and then headed for the closest register. I let her go ahead of me before laying my beers on the conveyor belt behind her stuff.
When she looked up after setting the plastic divider between our items, I heard her swallow her breath.
The prick that hurt her was only a few aisles away, facing us as he checked out.
“That’ll be altogether,” I said to the cashier as I moved the divider behind my stuff.
Carrie looked at me.
“It’s my turn, babe.”
Her brown eyes thanked me silently.
I swiped my card while she bagged up our stuff. When I looked up, I could see the idiot staring at her, like he was trying to decide if he should come over.
I gave him the only look he deserved, a look full of malice and disgust, clenching my jaw like I had half a mind to clench my fist if he took a step closer.
In the end, he hung his head and walked out of the store towards the parking lot like the fucking dickless coward that he was.
After the cashier handed me my card, I followed Carrie towards the automatic doors.
“Did you see which way he went?” she asked.
“He left,” I said, taking the bags from her. “Disappeared into the parking lot.”
She nodded and kept her eyes on me. “Sorry to be such a freak. I’m just better off avoiding him-”
“Don’t worry about it. I couldn’t agree more.”
When we got to the corner of the lot, she turned towards me. “Let me pay you back for those things so I don’t forget.”
“You really don’t have to do that.”
“Yes I do.”
I lowered the bags to the ground so the beers wouldn’t tear through them. “You can pay me back another time.”
“I’ll pay you back now,” she said, opening her wallet.
“I was actually going to call you today anyway and see if you had time on Friday to come see the club.”
She looked up. “Friday?”
“Does that suit you or-?”
“What time?”
I shrugged. “The end of the day? Four thirty?”
She squinted. “Can you do four?”
“Sure.”
She smiled and her dimples sank in her cheeks. “Great.”
“I’ll email you the address.”
“Perfect.” She looked down and opened her wallet. “Shit.”
“Everything okay?”
“I don’t have cash.”
