Surrender to Fate (Fate's Path Part One: A New Adult Romance Series)

by Jacelyn Rye

  “His name is William, and…he and I…were close, very close. We were best friends.”

  “Best friends?” Adley slightly turned his head and looked at her suspiciously.

  “Well, no. I mean, yes. Best friends, but we were more than that. I’m trying to tell you that…I made a promise to him. We promised each other, actually. I promised him…my heart.” There. She said it. She finally said it out loud. She sighed heavily, and waited for Adley to say something, to say anything, to end the awkward silence hanging between them.

  Adley looked down at the ground and rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb several times before he looked up at her.

  “So…what are you saying, Sarah?”

  Clearly, he wasn’t going to make this a cut and dry discussion and go back to working on the truck.

  “I’m saying that…it’s not right for me to be with you. Not when I’m thinking about someone else.”

  Adley took a deep breath, jammed the rag back in his pocket, and put his hands on his hips. “You didn’t kiss me like you were thinking about someone else. What about that, Sarah?”

  “Adley, that is why I have to tell you this. It was wrong to kiss you, and I’m sorry. I’m trying to do what’s right. Today. Please, please don’t make this any harder than it already is?”

  Adley kicked at the pebbles at his feet, “So where does that leave us? Or I guess there isn’t an us, is there? Where does that leave me, Sarah?”

  This was infinitely more difficult than Sarah had imagined, and she had imagined it being bad. “I still want to be…friends…with you, Adley. We are still going to see each other all of the time. How could we not? We live right next door to each other. I want to still see you, and talk with you and…”

  “And torture me to be around you, and not be able to be with you?” His eyes glowed as intensely as ever before. “This sounds like it’ll work out just fine for you, Sarah. You get to have your…William…your clear conscience…and me, whenever you want, still wrapped around your little finger?”

  Adley shook his head and stared at her. “I don’t think so, Sarah.”

  Now it was Sarah’s turn to be caught off guard. This is not how she expected Adley to react. What did she expect, really? She thought he would simply, understand. She couldn’t believe how naïve she was to think that this would all go smoothly, and things would just be okay. This was most definitely not how she scripted this whole scene playing out. Suddenly, she felt very confused. This whole thing was spinning out of control, and she felt nauseous.

  “What are you saying, Adley?”

  He paused, but still didn’t take his eyes off of hers. “I’m saying that…I won’t…I can’t…be around you, and just turn off all of these feelings that I have. In case you don’t remember, they’re pretty strong feelings.” Adley waited as if he knew the memory of yesterday would wash over Sarah. The memory of how good it felt to be against his body, and feel him wanting her. When her face flushed with the remembrance, he continued. “I’m saying that if I can’t be with you, and I mean with you, then I don’t see how I can be around you at all.”

  The way he emphasized the word ‘with’ made Sarah’s stomach flip. She could only imagine what that would be like, to be ‘with’ Adley. Her heart instantly started to pound. She knew that her heart was Will’s, but the last thing she expected was to feel how her body yearned for Adley, and he had just cut off all contact with her.

  Her mouth was bone dry as she tried to formulate her words. She searched his eyes, but saw only sincerity in what he was saying. “What do you mean?” Her voice quivered as she fought off the tears.

  His voice softened, but was nonetheless, just as convincing. “I mean, no. I can’t be your friend. I can’t still be around you like nothing has ever happened between us. And frankly, I’m amazed that you think you could still be around me, and pretend like nothing had ever happened. I guess what happened didn’t have the same effect on you that it had on me.”

  Sarah thought of the irony of his statement. If only he knew that what had happened between them most definitely did have the same effect on her, and maybe even more so, than what he actually felt. In fact, Adley brought out the exact feelings that he had set out to with ease, and that is what scared Sarah the most. She realized that it all boiled down to one simple fact. She didn’t trust herself. She didn’t trust herself to withstand the feelings, the cravings, that Adley tempted her with.

  Sarah pursed her lips and slowly nodded. “Okay. Fine, Adley. If that’s how you want it, fine.”

  “No, Sarah. That’s not how I want it. Obviously. What I want is you! I want to feel you, I want to breathe you, I want taste you. I want you in my arms, I want you against by body, and I want to have you in every way that I’ve imagined having you. I could show you how badly I want you. You could feel how badly I want you, Sarah.”

  He paused again, allowing every word to sink slowly into her. Sarah stared blankly at him. She no longer knew what to say.

  “But you’ve made the choice, Sarah, not me. What I want doesn’t matter. So, you can go about your business, and I’ll go about mine.”

  He gave her one final nod, indicating the discussion was over and climbed back under the truck. Sarah stared for a moment longer as she heard him start banging the wrench against the truck. She turned slowly, and walked away. She was still in disbelief at how the whole thing played out. Never in her wildest could she have predicted this as the outcome. As she walked back toward the garden, she tried to convince herself that despite the fact that she was not happy with having no contact with Adley, that maybe it was for the best. After all, isn’t this what she wanted? To put an end to the ever growing snowball of guilt that she felt every time she was with him? To feel that finally she was staying true to the promise, staying true to what she truly believed that she and Will shared?

  Chapter 31

  If Sarah found it difficult to stick with her resolve, Adley sure didn’t. Initially Sarah thought that Adley would eventually come around and relent on his decision to break off all contact with her. It had been weeks since their last conversation, and Adley had made himself scarce. Sarah realized how much time they had actually spent together in the stark comparison of now, not seeing him at all. She still went about her duties of taking care of the garden and the hens, and she even tried to time her chores around when Adley would usually be out in the yard doing his. But somehow, he had managed to carry on with his chores without having to cross paths with her.

  The days were getting shorter and colder, and fall was upon them. Sarah’s birthday was only a couple of days away and it made her so homesick for Colorado and for Will that she hardly felt like celebrating. Her last birthday was spent with Will, at the movies, and then just the two of them at Myron’s Soda Fountain. Well, just the two of them until Margaret had appeared and spoiled everything, Sarah remembered. She knew all about Margaret and her motives, and her obvious attempt at ruining her time with Will. But sweet, sweet William. He had assured her that nothing was ruined, and in fact, she knew that the bond that the two shared was even stronger after that night.

  Now that the majority of her time was being spent by herself, and occasionally playing a game of cards with Matty, Sarah was left with only her memories to keep her company. She stood at the window in her parents’ room, staring out at the horizon as the sun was setting against a magnificent pink sky. She remembered watching the sunset while she and Will sat on the knoll on the day of the community picnic. She cringed at the memory. That was the night her whole life changed, and turned upside down with just a few words spoken by her father. She wondered if by some chance, that Will might be watching the sunset tonight as well. She walked from the window to the trunk and found the box that Will had made for her. She traced the circles with her finger, wondering how a year could seem like so long ago, and yet still feel like yesterday. So much had happened in that year, and now with her head not so clouded with the antics of Adley, Sarah knew she was ready to us
e the stamp, and pour her heart out to Will.

  She opened her mother’s side table drawer and pulled out several sheet of paper and a pencil. Now, where to begin? She stared at the blank paper and wondered how she could possibly write everything that she wanted to, and needed to. She tried to remind herself that it was the same Will who had been her best friend for her whole life, that she was writing to, and she knew she could tell him anything. Just because there was now the issue of time and distance between them, it didn’t mean that it had somehow changed who they were. She traced the circles over and over. Yes, it was time to write.

  Dear, dear Will,

  What I wouldn’t give to be able to have this conversation with you in person. I hope this letter finds you and your family happy and doing well. I know that you have waited longer than you should’ve to finally receive this letter from me and all I can say is that I’ve wanted to write you every single day. This one stamp has been my link to you, and I’ve always been afraid to actually use it, and then maybe feel that my tie to you is gone. But, now more than ever, I need you to know how I am feeling, and that will, I hope, keep us connected even though my one stamp will be gone.

  Our trip to California was dreadful. We all tried not to complain, but it was a long, long trip that seemed to never end. Once we arrived here at the Somerton’s Ranch, we all attempted to get settled in to our new life in California. The owners, Oscar and Ellie, have been welcoming and kind to us all. We are living in a little house not far from their house, and though our house is not made for a family of four, for the most part, we are comfortable here. We are thankful to have our own place, especially knowing that most families sharing the same misfortune to our own, are fairing far worse in camps along roads and along the vegetable fields. Dad is usually gone all day long managing all of the workers and working on the farming equipment. He is always tired, but I’ve still not heard him complain a day in his life about that. Mama is kept busy with chores of keeping up the little house and other duties that Ellie needs help with. She and Ellie seem to get on all right, but I know how much Mama misses your mother. Matty is content with his tasks of taking care of the animals and the barn upkeep. He and Riley keep each other company and are inseparable, and I’m thankful that Riley was able to make the trip with us.

  Sarah lifted her pencil from the paper and stared into the quiet room. And now, for her. What does she tell Will about how she has been doing in California? And the question that plagued her before, returned. Do I tell him about Adley?

  She put the tip of the pencil back to the paper, but then lifted it again. Could she really avoid telling Will the truth about who else lived at the ranch? By not telling him, it would be like admitting that there was something to hide. She would never want to hide anything from Will. She knew that a partial truth was no truth at all. But still, what did it really matter if Will knew about Adley or not? Sarah had told Adley about Will, how she felt about him was not a secret, at least not anymore. And Adley had made the decision that they would have no interaction to speak of anymore...so really, there was nothing to tell. In fact, Sarah reasoned, that by not telling Will, it would spare him any undue concern about what was going on in California. All he needed to know was that she still remembered their promise, and that more than anything, still felt the same about him as the day she left.

  She felt mostly settled about her decision not to tell him about Adley and tried to ignore that gnawing feeling in her gut that she was somehow lying to Will. She shook her head, and decided not to spend any more time debating the issue.

  I’ve been given chores that are to my liking, as well. There is a hen house and a large garden that demands daily attention to keep it neat and orderly. I am in charge of collecting the eggs, which always reminds me of our little henhouse back home. The garden is peaceful and has been a Godsend for me, as I find that it gives me a place to be alone with my thoughts.

  Sarah stopped her pencil in that exact place and contemplated her last sentence. A place to be alone…

  That is, until it became the place where she wasn’t alone. Until it became the place that she and Adley experienced the culmination of their growing desires for each other. Every thought in Sarah’s head was screaming at her to stop reliving what had happened in the garden…with Adley’s mouth on hers, and his hands pressing her body to feel his.

  Sarah dropped her pencil to the stack of papers and ran her hands over her face and through her hair. She exhaled loudly and wondered how on earth Adley could still possess the power over her that he did, and they hadn’t even seen each other for weeks. Darn you, Adley!

  Picking up her pencil, she forced her thoughts back to Will and continued where she left off.

  But whether I am in the garden, or anywhere here in California, my thoughts always bring me back to you. I hope you know that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you, and more importantly, our promise that we made to each other the day we said goodbye.

  Sarah stopped, and realized what she had just written. The day we said goodbye. No! They hadn’t told each other goodbye. They had refused to say those words. She hastily erased her last few words, fearing that if she didn’t, they would somehow come to life and actually become the reality of their situation…that they had said goodbye to each other.

  …our promise that we made to each other, the day at Coon’s Cove. I remember that so clearly, Will. Please tell me that you do, too? I’ve realized that the time that we have been apart, and the hundreds of miles that are separating us, have not changed how I feel about you. If anything, I’ve realized even more what is most important to me, and it is the people that are in my heart that give me hope. Hope for the future, and hope that someday, we can keep our promise to each other.

  While this letter will end, know that my heart is yours, and it will remain yours, and that will not end. Time or distance from you can never take away everything that we’ve shared together. I anxiously await your letter, but until then, I keep the memory of what you said to me, Me Ware Wo, playing over and over in my mind. I only hope you can hear me saying the words to you, and know that I mean them now, more than ever. Me Ware Wo, Will .

  Love always,

  Sarah

  Sarah reread her letter and wished that she could tell him so much more. But maybe, if she could scrape enough pennies together, she could write to him again before too long. She folded the letter gingerly and sealed it in an envelope. After carefully printing Will’s name and address, she lifted the stamp from the box and gave it one last look. Kissing the face of the stamp, she gently licked the adhesive on the back and applied it perfectly straight in the corner of the envelope. She sighed as she realized that after all of this time of waiting to use the stamp, that it was now gone. There was something about sending the letter that made her uneasy. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she could only hope that it would reach him and she would be getting a letter from him soon with the same message--that he remembered their promise, too.

  Chapter 32

  William turned the ignition off of his dad’s farm truck and stared out of the windshield at the Thornton’s house. Despite it being just a few miles down the road from his, he couldn’t help but notice how different it was. Everything seemed new, in perfect shape, and a little out of place for being out in the country. It would’ve fit in better in town. But, the Thornton’s owned hundreds of acres that spanned across hayfields and up into the surrounding valley and mountains. It actually made William feel a little uncomfortable; there was a big difference between the lifestyle of the Thorntons and the Harstons.

  He slammed the truck door and wondered what to do next. Would he walk to the door, and be faced with his employer questioning why he was at his home on a Saturday? Or had Margaret told her father he would be coming by? William’s palms were becoming very clammy and he contemplated calling the whole thing off and going home.

  As if she had been reading his mind, Margaret suddenly appeared from behin
d the front door of her house.

  “I’ve been waiting for you, William,” she called out. “I’m not used to having to wait for anything, you know.”

  William nervously cleared his throat and yelled back, “Sorry, am I late?”

  She closed the gate to the yard and glided right up to him. She put her hands on his chest and looked at him. “A little, actually. But something tells me you’re worth the wait.” She smiled at him with a look in her eye that made William’s palms sweat even more, and he somehow knew that leaving now was out of the question.

  She smiled and took his hand, “Let’s go.”

  William couldn’t help but feeling that by accepting her invitation, that things would never quite be the same from then on. He hesitated, still not sure about blindly following Margaret into who knew what, and said looking toward the truck, “Uh...do I need to get anything?”

  “No, William. I have everything that we need, you don’t need to worry about a thing.”

  “Okay,” William said slowly, “If you say so.”

  They walked to an impressive barn and stable where two horses were saddled and tied to the corral. William couldn’t help but notice that even the horses looked new and perfect, just like Margaret’s house. Their coats were shiny, their manes brushed and groomed, and both were saddled with clean, brightly colored horse blankets and saddles that looked like they had never been ridden.

  “This is Bourbon, your horse.” Margaret said as she patted the rump of a handsome, dark amber colored horse with a black mane. “He’s my favorite, quiet and calm, but not afraid to let loose when I ask him to.”

  William walked over the horse, and rubbed his large circular cheeks. Bourbon turned and sniffed and snorted into his hand. “Hey, boy.” William rubbed his hand down Bourbon’s long face and looked into his big, brown eyes. He instantly liked Bourbon. He had been around plenty of horses, and could tell that this one had a good disposition.