Surrender to Fate (Fate's Path Part One: A New Adult Romance Series)

by Jacelyn Rye

  Chapter 45

  Sarah’s emotions had run the gamut for the two weeks since Adley had ended their connection once again. Her initial shock had lasted into the next morning, followed by days and days of an actual heartache that rivaled leaving Will, and now, she was flat-out livid. How dare Adley put her through this break-up of sorts all over again? Especially after all the white-hot moments that they had experienced together, how could he do this to her? For as much as he wondered how she could have someone else in her heart, she wondered how he could possibly stand to be away from her. His feelings for her must’ve gone far deeper than she had suspected, and now she was realizing that hers had gone far deeper for him, as well. It was completely unfair for him to expect Will not to be a part of her any longer. She knew that was an impossible notion, and by default, perhaps that meant that her and Adley’s relationship would be impossible as well. Just as she was settling in on the absurdity of Adley’s expectation, a sickening feeling washed over her that up until now, she hadn’t thought of. How would she feel if the tables were turned, and Adley had another woman residing in his heart? Despite the logical answer, she still couldn’t deny that there was just something about her and Will that was different. Something that, even if she wanted to forget, she couldn’t.

  She and Adley’s severance might have gone on forever, for as much as Sarah knew, they were both stubborn, and had something to prove to the other. At the very least, they each had a message to send. Sarah was bound and determined to hold her ground as she walked confidently to his house. Her mother had asked her to take over a fresh apple pie that she had made that morning. Ever since Thanksgiving, she and Ellie had been passing gestures back and forth in lieu of their new bond. Anne, with freshly baked goods, and Ellie with freshly picked flowers. Since she and Adley’s relationship had been kept under wraps, obviously their break up had too, and Sarah had absolutely no good reason to give her mother when she tried to refuse the errand.

  As she climbed the steps, she considered that she may not even see Adley. She hadn’t seen him all morning, and had no idea if he was home, or out in the fields. She wrestled between her stubbornness to avoid Adley and her curiosity to see if he had been missing her like she had him, as she knocked on the door.

  She wasn’t even sure she breathed over the few seconds, or it could’ve been a few minutes for all she knew, while she waited for someone to answer the door. One second, she was hoping to see Adley’s face appear, and the next, she hoped for anyone but. The door swung open and she slowly exhaled, as she got one of her requests.

  “My mom baked this pie for you,” she was able to muster. She pushed the pie forward but just held it as Adley froze and stared at her.

  He blinked a few times, snapping himself back into some sort of reaction. He reached for pie, grazing Sarah’s hand and fingers with his. Goosebumps instantly crawled up her arm and to the back of her neck. Her pulse quickened. It was such a benign touch, but it was Adley’s touch, and that unmistakably, still had a profound effect on her.

  “Tell your mom ‘thank you’ for us.” He held the pie on one of his palms, but never broke eye contact.

  Sarah wasn’t sure if the long pause was indicative of that it was her turn to say something back, or if the conversation was over. She knew she wasn’t ready for it to be over. In fact, she realized that she didn’t want the conversation, or her relationship with Adley to be over.

  “You’re welcome.” She had made her move, now it was Adley’s turn to decide, and Sarah wished she had thought of something more to say that would’ve forced him to continue.

  He cleared his throat and looked down at the porch. His eyes then went straight to hers without a hint of hesitation. “What if I don’t want pie?”

  Sarah’s heart instantly pounded. She tried to calm herself but her words were noticeably shaking, “What do you want?”

  His eyes never seemed to even blink. “I want you to love me, more than him.”

  Sarah’s was sure her eyes widened as big as the pie plate. She stared in disbelief and utter shock, and there wasn’t a single word to be found in her head.

  Adley shook his head, “No, I take that back.”

  She furrowed her brow, adding hurt and confusion to the bombarding emotions.

  Adley set the pie down on the small entry table and stepped out to the porch. “I want you to love me, and only me. I understand that he was a part of your past. But I need to know that that’s where your love for him will stay, in the past. It’s time for you to decide on your future, Sarah. If you see me in your future, then I need to be sure I’m the only one. I don’t share, I won’t share. I’m an only child, remember?” A slight smile formed on lips as he stepped up to her and lifted her chin. “Don’t answer me now. I want you to think about what I’m telling you. If you want me even half as much as I want you, then you need to choose accordingly.” He paused and became completely serious, “If he’s still in your heart, Sarah, then he’ll be the only one. What I’m trying to say to you is, it’s all or nothing, with me.” He gently placed his hands on her face and whispered, “And ‘all’ could be amazing, Sarah.”

  He brought his lips to meet hers, but was stopped just short when they heard Ellie call from inside, “Adley? Is someone here?”

  He held his lips next to hers and softly repeated, “All, or nothing.”

  He returned to his full posture just as Ellie appeared in the doorway. “Oh, Sarah dear. I thought I heard Adley talking to someone.”

  Adley turned his attention to his mother, but Sarah could still feel the brush of his lips against hers, and his ultimatum resonating deep inside. “Yes, Sarah just brought over a pie that her mom made for us.”

  Ellie smiled, “Your mother is somethin’ else, Sarah. I mentioned how I had been craving an apple pie, and here it is. I just can’t decide if it’s funny or sad that your mother seemed to know that I wouldn’t be able to pull it off if I tried to make it myself.” She giggled and shook her head at herself. “Well, it’s no matter now. Oh, but that reminds me. I have some things for your mom, too. Let me go get them; stay here with Adley, I’ll be right back.” Ellie rushed back into the house, and once again Sarah and Adley were face to face.

  Sarah knew she only had a minute or two before their chance encounter was over. Part of her wanted to rush to him, and do just as Ellie told her: stay with Adley. But, before she did, she knew she’d need to convince herself, before she could convince him that Will was only part of her memories and not a part of her heart and soul. The thought of such seemed so foreign to her, how could she ever move on from Will, who had staked a claim in her heart for as long as she could remember?

  No more words were spoken between them; their eyes searching each other seemed to be all the communication they needed. And unless Sarah could tell him what he needed to hear, there really wasn’t anything else to say. She studied his face, and how he looked at her. She had become very aware of his expressions, and felt she could almost read his mind. But that wasn’t necessary. He had told her exactly what he needed, and wanted. The only thing Sarah questioned, was what she wanted.

  Ellie returned to the porch and they hesitated to look away. Sarah forced herself to smile at her as she handed her small brown bag with a few pink and purple daisies poking out of the top. “Here you go. Just a few posies and some mail that came for y’all. Tell your mother to come over later for some tea and pie if she gets the chance.”

  Sarah nodded, and looked back to Adley who was still eyeing her with intensity. Ellie looked at Adley, and then back to Sarah. “Yes, okay then.” She looked at each of them again and said slowly, “Thank you, dear.” After neither of them returned a reply, Ellie scooted back into the house and gently closed the door.

  “One way or the other, Sarah, I need to know.”

  “Adley, I…,” but she stopped short as he placed a finger to her lips.

  “Please, Sarah, not now. I need to know that you’ve thought about it. This is something I want
you to be sure about. Because whatever you end up telling me, I don’t want to doubt it for any reason.” He slowly traced his finger over her bottom lip and then dropped his hand to his side. Sarah bit her lip, wishing she had more than just the touch of his finger to savor. She turned and walked down the steps, but felt his eyes on her the entire time.

  Sarah walked through the door and handed the bag to her mother, who was cleaning the kitchen after the busy morning of baking. “Here, Mama. From Ellie.”

  Sarah turned and sunk slowly into the couch. So much had happened in such a short amount of time, she would need some serious time to think today. Perhaps she would even go to her tree overlooking the field to find solitude.

  Anne pulled the flowers from the bag, “Oh, these are pretty.”

  Sarah remembered the invitation of tea and pie she was supposed to pass on to her mother. “Oh, Ellie wanted me to tell you…” Sarah turned to face her mother and continue, but Anne was frozen in place, holding an envelope in her hand.

  Sarah leaned forward, “What is it, Mama?”

  “It’s a letter. From home.”

  Sarah sucked in her breath. It hadn’t even registered what Ellie had told her, she had been so wrapped up in what Adley had told her, that she didn’t even think twice about that there was mail in the bag. She had long stopped waiting with bated breath for a letter from Will. But now, after all this, what if it was here?

  She stood from the couch and began walking to her mother who had already slid her finger under the flap and was pulling the paper from the envelope. The smile that had formed in excited anticipation slowly faded as her eyes quickly moved from side to side, down the contents of the letter. Anne’s eyes slowly lifted off the paper and stared at the floor just in front of her. Her hands began trembling, and the letter flitted to the floor like an aspen leaf as Anne fell to her knees, still in such shock that she couldn’t speak.

  Sarah ran to her mother, “What? What, Mama?”

  Anne was as white as a sheet and still staring at the floor. Sarah grabbed the letter and as hurriedly as her eyes would let her, she scanned the letter with her stomach fully lodged in her throat.

  Dear Edward and Anne,

  I am so terribly sorry to have to be the one to tell you, and especially in a letter, that there has been a terrible accident. A few weeks ago, there was a barn fire at the Harstons’. Catherine had gone to the barn to check on the livestock, and no one knows quite what happened, but she was in the barn when it caught on fire. She did not get out in time, and perished. Henry, of course, has been so distraught that he could not bring himself to tell you. With the help of the postmaster in Bakersfield, I’m hoping that this letter has indeed found you, as I know you would want to know.

  We all loved Catherine, and we are all doing what we can to help Henry, Tommy, and William get through this. William’s wedding has been planned for the spring, and with time, we hope that they will all be able to feel some sort of joy in their lives again.

  I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. You and the Harstons will be in my prayers through this difficult time.

  Sincerely,

  Allen Hemshaw

  US Postal Service

  Sarah dropped to the floor with her mother and wrapped her arms tightly around her shoulders. Sarah squeezed even tighter when she felt her mother start to shudder, and fall into the most heart wrenching sob that Sarah had ever heard. She and her mother stayed on the floor holding each other until Henry and Matty came home from the field, and they had to impart the devastating news. The four Ellises stayed on the floor crying and holding each other until it was as dark outside as it was in their hearts.

  It had taken days for all of them to even be able to function. Edward told Oscar and Ellie the news that had been delivered to them, and Oscar assured him that they could have all the time they needed to grieve the loss of their friend. Ellie did her best to make them a few covered dishes, but the truth was, no one had any sort of appetite to speak of.

  Sarah was beside herself with grief for more reasons than she could count. She had loved Catherine like a second mother and was absolutely heart broken at the thought of her being gone. She was sick for Henry, Tommy and Will, and how they would now need to somehow go on with their lives without the amazing woman that held them all together. But what she was also trying to cope with was the news that Will was getting married. All of these months, that she had questioned if he was holding on to their promise, she abruptly and painfully, had her answer. If being engaged to someone else didn’t constitute moving on, then she didn’t know what did. Not only had he moved on, but he had fallen in love with someone else so much so, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and not Sarah. If there were any pieces of Sarah’s heart that had remained intact after knowing about Catherine, that bit of news reduced them all to a pile of fine dust. Not that it would make it hurt any less, and it certainly didn’t change anything, but Sarah couldn’t stand that the letter didn’t say who he was going to marry. It could be any number of the girls that knew him, as he was quite a catch. With Sarah out of the picture, she imagined they wasted no time in vying for, and procuring his attention. And for one of them, it obviously worked.

  Chapter 46

  The sadness that cloaked the household was numbing. But for Sarah, it was also a lesson in life that she wished she could’ve learned in some way, other than Catherine’s death. Life always had been, but now its fragility was felt to the core of everyone. Life, time, happiness, none of it was a guarantee. Up until now, Sarah had been happily oblivious to the fact that it could all change in a split second, it could all be gone; everything could be different. Time was precious. Sarah felt it deeper and deeper with each passing day, each passing hour, each passing minute, that time was a gift not to be taken for granted. There had been a time in her life for caution, for reflection, and for debate when it came to her future with Will, or her future with Adley. That time was over, and Sarah felt an urgency like never before, to start living her life. Perhaps Will had the same epiphany, and decided not to waste any more time in his life, and he was starting by getting married. For Sarah, she wasn’t willing to waste one more moment. She needed to find Adley.

  She walked into the barn and stopped to watch him work. He had picked up where Matty had left on in his chores of taking care of the barn. She watched silently as he spread fresh straw in the stalls, so deep in thought that he didn’t notice her approaching. It was the first time they had been together since the day they had learned about Catherine. She walked closer to him and leaned against the stall door until he caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye and turned around.

  He took one look at her, and threw the pitchfork into a stack of straw and took his gloves off. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly, kissing the top of her head. She put her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest. Everything about him felt so good, and so right. It was almost as if this was what she needed to know: That being in Adley’s arms felt like home, and it had for a long time. Home wasn’t a place. Home was the love in the arms that wrapped around her. At that moment, she realized that he knew her better than she thought. He knew how badly she needed to be held. She squeezed her eyes shut, allowing the feeling to wash over her. She was in Adley’s arms, and she couldn’t wait any longer to tell him. She only hoped he would understand.

  “Sarah, I’m so sorry. I’ve wanted to come see you but I wanted to give you your time and space with your family.” He held her tighter, “Oh my God, it feels so good to hold you.”

  “Adley, I need to talk to you.” Sarah lifted her head and stepped back, giving her space to fully see him.

  Adley took a deep breath and looked at her. “Alright, as worried as I’ve been to hear this, I need to hear this, Sarah.” He stopped talking and rubbed his mouth and chin, and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m listening.”

  So much had happened in the past year, and so much had chan
ged. But none of it was as profound as what had happened in the last week after hearing about Catherine. Sarah had finally found the clarity she had been seeking for months. “I’ve thought about this for a long, long time, Adley. I feel like I’ve been thinking non-stop ever since we first got here, and it has been utterly exhausting. I wasn’t planning on you becoming what you have. I left Colorado heart broken, for a lot of reasons. I had to leave everything. I left my home, I left my trees and my creek, as silly as that sounds, and I left a person that I loved.”

  Adley shifted his weight and ran his hands through his hair again.

  “Please, let me finish. And then I came here. And at first, the only thing that made me feel happy, was the garden. But then, I started to realize that you made me feel things that I never would’ve expected to feel, and I didn’t know what to do with the feelings I’ve had my whole life, and my new feelings since being here. So now, I want to be completely honest with you, you deserve that.”

  Adley exhaled loudly and put his hands on his hips. “I had a feeling this is what would happen.” He looked down and slowly shook his head, “Alright, this is going to hurt like hell, but go ahead. I told you that I needed to know, and I do, but...damn!”

  Sarah took a few steps to him, but he didn’t change his stance and looked down into her eyes. “Adley, please understand that there are people that I simply cannot forget. I cannot forget my childhood, I cannot forget people that I’ve cared about and that have cared about me. I won’t forget them.”

  Adley looked to the floor and nodded his head, “I get it, Sarah. I get it.”

  Sarah put her hands on his chest and he took a deep breath before looking back at her. “Adley, I don’t want to forget them, they will forever be a part of my memories, and a part of me. But, I’m hoping that you will be alright with that because...I want to give you everything else, and the memories that I make now, I want to make with you.”