Only a Glow

by Nichelle Rae

  I suddenly realized the importance of what the mist had said. Azrel needed her white magic to defeat Hathum, but she could barely stand to mention her power, let alone use it well enough to defeat the most Evil entity since The Nameless One of her father’s time.

  She trembled in my arms. I wanted so badly to take her pain away, but I didn’t know how. All I knew was that I had to remind her of the warrior she used to be. But I wasn’t even sure how to do that.

  We heard Norka and Rabryn coming through the woods toward us. Azrel yanked herself away from me and frantically wiped her tears away. My head throbbed with pain as I watched Azrel lean over the stream and splashed water on her face to remove any evidence of her tears. Then she turned to Rabryn and Norka as they came through the trees behind us.

  I glanced behind me and saw that Norka held a bloody sack over his shoulder, probably his dinner, and Rabryn was looking on in concern. I looked away and splashed some water on my own face. My consciousness was threatening to leave me, so I certainly didn’t trust my legs to hold me up. Maybe some cold water would do.

  “Hey! How did your hunting lesson go?” Azrel said in a cheery voice, as if nothing had happened.

  “Great,” Rabryn replied half-heartedly, knowing something was wrong. “Norka needs more lessons but he’s not a bad shot.”

  “Did you kill your supper yourself?” Azrel asked.

  “No,” Norka replied. I glanced back and saw him staring at me. I looked at the water again and tried to will myself to stand and move, but the pain was too much. “Massster Rabryn is a good ssshot though. I will learn quickly.”

  My eyes were half closed, but with my last ounce of will power I pushed myself to stand using my thighs for support. I wanted to scream from the heaviness of my head. It weighed so much I thought my neck might snap.

  “Damn it!” Rabryn cried. “Ortheldo, you’re bleeding!”

  I numbly reached to feel the back of my neck and found it was completely soaked with blood. So was the back of my shirt.

  “Watch your mouth,” Azrel snapped as she appeared at my side. Her eyes were wide. “Come, sit down. I’ll get some plants to help you.”

  Beyond will of my own, my body turned toward the rock we’d been sitting on. I staggered toward it. Azrel ended up gripping me under one arm, then Rabryn came and took my other. I couldn’t even recall sitting down. The world was a pool of black that came and went. I wanted to give into the blackness, but there was something I must do; an apology was in order.

  I forced my eyes to focus and looked up at Norka as he stared down at me. I turned my shameful gaze downward. “I’m sorry you’ve had to endure so much suffering in your life, so much loss. I’m also sorry for judging you and threatening your life. I was wrong to do so, and I hope you can forgive me.”

  When Norka said nothing, I turned my gaze up again and he smiled. “Thank you. I forgive you,” he said. He took a few steps toward me until he stood barely an inch away from my face. “Excussse me, Azrel. I will heal him.” My head went up as fast as it could without making me nauseous. There was silence for a moment.

  “But Norka, if you use your magic, your Mistress will send you pain,” Azrel said, her voice was filled with concern. I barely heard her. I began to give into the peaceful, painless blackness that wanted to take me.

  “His injury was my doing and it’s only right that I undo it,” Norka said.

  Those words I heard, though they sounded far away, as if he was shouting from a mile’s distance. My heart sank. It wasn’t his doing, it was Azrel’s. I wanted to tell him so, but even if my voice had worked, I would have felt like I was betraying Azrel somehow.

  “It’s not your fault, Norka. It’s —” before Azrel could say “mine,” Norka cut her off.

  “There is no exssscuse for what I did. He hasss shown me kindnesss so I will do the ssame or him. The pain doesn’t lasst long, and he might die before you can gather your plantsss.”

  The darkness tempted me even more. My vision flushed with black. Whatever conversation was going on, if any, I wasn’t a part of it. I fell backward against someone’s shoulder. I felt the vibration of sound; someone was yelling, but I heard nothing.

  Suddenly a hand touched the back of my head. I winced at the stinging sensation, but quickly relaxed as healing magic flowed through me. Slowly I felt myself come out of the darkness. Then the pain was gone.

  I sat up, fully alert. Norka’s screams of pain were the first thing I heard. I winced when my gaze found him kneeling on the ground, his hands holding his head as if he were willing it not to explode. He was enduring this for me. After what I did to him, he’d healed me. I wished his pain would end quickly.

  Azrel flashed into my view and gathered the trembling snake in her arms, whispering soft words of comfort. “It’s okay. It will pass. Thank you, Norka. Thank you. I’m here now. You’ll be okay. I’m here.”

  The screams quickly ceased. “It’sss…it’s gone!” he said in disbelief. He held Azrel at arm’s length and stared at her with big eyes. “The pain should last longer than that, but as ssssoon as you touched me, it went away. How did you do that?”

  “I—I have no idea,” Azrel stammered.

  I got on my knees in front of Norka and touched his shoulder. “Thank you, my friend.”

  He smiled in return and placed his hand over mine. “You’re welcome, friend.”

  “You have most of my trust now,” I said, and we laughed together for the first time.

  “Alright, time to go to sleep. All of you,” Rabryn said. “I have first watch.”

  We all made our way toward camp. Azrel fell behind Norka and Rabryn and walked beside me. She stared at the ground shamefully. “I have no right to ask for your forgiveness,” she said. “I just got you back, and then I almost lose you again—by my own hand, of all things.” She looked up at me and her lips quivered. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t think of any words to tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I tried to stop it.”

  I missed a step and froze. Tried to stop it? What did she mean, she “tried to stop it?”

  She stopped walking and looked into my eyes in a way that made me forget my own name. “If you can’t forgive me, I don’t blame you.”

  I had to swallow before speaking. “Tell me what made you do that, then I’ll decide whether I can forgive you or not.”

  She nodded. “That’s more than fair,” she said, then looked down. “But I don’t have an answer to offer.” She looked back up at me, this time her eyes filled with white tears. “When you were questioning me, I felt myself shrink inside, like I was depleting somehow. Then I lost control.” She looked away to the side and blinked back her tears before meeting my eyes again. “A part of me was screaming to let you go, to not hurt you, and —.” She looked down in frustration. “I don’t know. It felt like something else was controlling my actions, my words. I felt like a bystander in my own body, watching helplessly as you were attacked. The entire time I was yelling to let you go, but my body wouldn’t obey. I felt so powerless.”

  So here was a new mystery to solve. “What made you stop when you did?” I asked.

  She shook her head, refusing to meet my eyes again. “I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Ortheldo.”

  I forced a smile and put my arm around her shoulders leading her toward camp. “It’s okay. I forgive you. You were clearly not yourself and didn’t know what you were doing. I know you wouldn’t do that to me on purpose.”

  Then how did you do it? I could see the question in her eyes and knew it was in mine, but that was enough for tonight. I couldn’t handle anymore drama.

  “Thank you, my friend,” she said.

  She rested her head against my shoulder and my heartbeat quickened. That simple harmless gesture made my body and heart respond unwillingly. I just had to be patient. She would be well worth the wait.

  In the morning the sun was out, but it wasn’t very warm. All of us wore our cloaks except Norka, who al
ways wore only his plain black robes. We had all taken a bath today and changed. Rabryn now wore a comfortable looking red tunic and matching cloak. He had on white pants and white sash, and the same light brown Salynn shoes on his feet. I changed into brown pants, a gray cloak, and a simple, dark green cotton tunic cinched at the waist with my brown belt. Ortheldo looked amazing in a dark blue tunic, black pants, and fresh black cloak from his pack.

  Had it not been for Norka, Ortheldo may not have seen this day.

  I couldn’t take my mind off what had happened last night. How could I have done that to him? I’d almost killed him! Killed him! I wanted to scream at the thought of losing him again, never mind bearing responsibility for his death by my own hand! I couldn’t even conceive of it! Yet it had almost happened. The very thought sent my nose burning and tears ready to brim.

  Something was terribly wrong with me. I resolved that my thoughts were, in fact, true all along, that I was evil. I had the proof now. Last night was the evidence. Somehow, I had cut off his breathing just after slamming him against the tree and cracking his skull. I had felt myself thinking to cut off his air, but it wasn’t my thought. It had seemed to come from somewhere else, and somehow, I had acted upon it. How could I even think of something like that in the first place? It was beyond me how that was possible! My best friend!

  I shook away the memory and tried to think about something more pleasant. My gaze turned to my brother. Norka rode beside Rabryn for a nice change, rather than trailing behind in the rear, avoiding us. My heart warmed a little at the thought of my brother and Norka becoming friends. Right now, they were laughing and talking together about going hunting again for lunch. They had already gone out together this morning to catch Norka’s breakfast.

  My thoughts turned drab again as I looked at Ortheldo riding in front of me. He just stared ahead with the blankest look on his face. He had forgiven me last night, but I worried that a part of him was still angry with me. Who could blame him? I was mad at myself.

  Suddenly darkness overcame my insides. That blasted shadow was back! It was the shadow that told me danger was near and something was about to go terribly wrong. I loathed that shadow but was also grateful for it, even though the danger it foretold always ruined my life somehow.

  “Norka! Where are you going?” Rabryn cried out.

  I looked back to see Rabryn riding alone. Norka had left his side and was tearing up dust as he rode back in the opposite direction.

  My eyebrows dropped. “What happened? Where is he going?”

  Rabryn looked perplexed as he turned to me. “I don’t know. We were having a fine conversation when he suddenly stopped and looked out ahead of him. Then he said he had to go and just…” Rabryn’s eyes suddenly went wide as he felt the danger that I felt without the distraction of Norka’s conversation. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  I looked ahead and saw that Ortheldo had stopped riding. I directed Forfirith around Urylia, and Rabryn rode Eleclya up next to Forfirith. We both watched Ortheldo as he sat stone still, staring out ahead of him with wide eyes.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked.

  Ortheldo finally turned to me. “Something tells me we need to turn south here. Come on!” He checked Urylia to the right and sped off. Rabryn and I exchanged glances, then rode after him. As the horse’s hooves pounded on the grass, I couldn't help but wonder what we were about to get into.

  “I have a bad feeling about this!” Rabryn shouted for both of us, dodging tree branches as we rode as fast as we could into the clustered woodland surrounding the clearing.

  “So do I! That’s why I felt we should turn south,” Ortheldo called back in reply.

  “Of course. What was I thinking?” Rabryn mused to himself as he maneuvered his horse around the trees. “A foreboding feeling comes from some direction, and the best thing to do is to turn toward it. How foolish of me.”

  I smiled. He was so bloody cute sometimes. He could easily be considered a man at age seventeen, but he was still my goofy, wise cracking baby brother.

  Ortheldo came to a stop. He looked around the woods for a moment, even standing in his stirrups as he gazed around like he was expecting someone to approach. He sat down and beckoned us to dismount quietly. We obeyed, crouching down to the ground beside the horses. Ortheldo crept spider-like to a bundle of bushes near the frontier. After exchanging another odd look, Rabryn and I followed him in the same spider-like manner and cautiously peered over the top of the bushes.

  I flinched in shock as a large band of Gibirs walked carelessly over the plains. I couldn’t believe it! Rabryn gasped at the sight of them. They were no more than a few meters away from us, heading northwest. What in the bloody world were Gibirs doing around here?

  I absently reached my hand into my pocket to be sure the necklace was safe. A few ugly faces turned in our direction. I realized they could feel the presence of the necklace.

  Gibirs were about as tall as an average man and heavy in bulk. The creatures bore revolting black boils and blemishes all over their sickly dark green skin. The sight could make one vomit. They had black bellies and black spikes jutted out from their hunched spines. Their arms hung low in gorilla fashion. Unlike Gorkors, Gibirs could speak, but they were not very intelligent creatures.

  Ortheldo let out a heavy breath. “I see why we needed to come this way.”

  “Okay, so what do you suggest we do?” I asked. “They aren’t in our path, so we can avoid them easily.”

  “Prepare for battle.”

  My eyes went wide. “What? Why?” Ortheldo slowly turned to gaze at me with a cool expression of annoyance on his face. I curled my lip. “Don’t look at me like that.” He didn’t stop. “What?” I whispered harshly. “Can’t you see that we are largely outnumbered?”

  He looked unimpressed. “I can see that you’ve lost your nerve, Azrel.”

  “Excuse me,” I said softly, feeling as if I'd just been slapped in the face. I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. I didn’t know about him, but I had never fought anything besides him and my father. I’d never been in a battle like the one he was suggesting now.

  “You know that we’re skilled enough to take on these Gibirs. You’re just afraid.” My eyes narrowed at him. He knew I hated the word “coward,” so he was careful not to use it. But implying it was almost as bad. He knew accusing me of being afraid would fire me up to do battle. I would always remember my father’s last few words: “Don’t ever give anyone a reason to call you a coward.”

  I let out a breath through my nose and glared at him harder. “Strap on your weapons then.”

  Ortheldo beamed a smile and walked to Urylia to prepare. My glare followed him but from the corner of my eye I saw Rabryn hold a finger up to object. When I stood and walked away, he dropped his arm dumbly to the ground. “And we are starting this unnecessary battle why?”

  I looked at him. “You stay here. I don’t want you in this. Ortheldo and I will handle it.” I wondered if I was even telling the truth.

  Rabryn nodded. “Sounds good to me. Just be careful!”

  Ortheldo smirked at me as we shed our cloaks and draped them over our saddles. He glared at me playfully as he drew out the weapons that Beldorn had provided for us. Ortheldo wasn’t entirely serious when implying I was afraid. He just knew that saying so would make me have to prove him wrong by fighting. I didn’t know if I was up for this, though. I couldn’t keep my knees from quaking as I gathered my things. Was I really about to do this? My first battle…ever.

  Ortheldo hummed happily to himself, showing not an iota of doubt or worry. He was enjoying this! I clenched my teeth and wondered why he felt the need to start a battle with the Gibirs. As we exchange looks of challenge, I guessed that perhaps he wanted to see what remained of my fighting abilities, if anything at all. I didn’t expect very much from myself and hoped he didn’t either.

  With my quiver strapped to my back, my bow in hand, my Salynn blade at my thigh, and my sword at my belt
, I turned and walked toward the trees without glancing at Ortheldo. After passing a few trees that didn’t fit my needs, I stopped under one that was perfect. I pulled my hair up into a messy knot to keep it out of my face during battle, then leapt up and grabbed a low branch. I pulled myself up and climbed into the tree until I found a place that gave me a good view of my targets, kept me well hidden, and gave me some strategic leniency.

  I turned back and looked down where I’d left the boys; Ortheldo was searching the treetops for me. I couldn’t be seen, though. I’d made sure of it. He nodded, his expression now looking impressed. I smiled triumphantly, though I was so nervous my smile quickly faded. I looked out at the Gibirs and blew out a breath, trying to calm myself down.

  Ortheldo stepped out of the woods, crossing into the Gibirs path. They drew their weapons immediately, but Ortheldo remained unaffected. He crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one foot. “Shouldn’t you all be cowering in caves or some hidden shelter of the sort? Your small, scattered bands are no longer threatening.”

  “Kill the Human! Slice him! Stab him! Death to the Man!” was the majority response as they drew nearer to him.

  My muscles tensed, and I loaded two arrows in my bow. My brain was a whirlwind of emotions as I drew the string to my cheek. It had been a long time since I’d used a weapon on anything bigger than a bird, and I had never been in a battle with anything like Gibirs! The most dangerous thing I’d ever fought was related to me. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to do this. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d shot an arrow.

  Be brave.

  My father’s words echoed in my ears, and I let my nerves settle. I had to be brave. They were only Gibirs! Unfortunately, the dark feeling in my heart kept me from being completely calm. Something bad was going to happen, but there was no turning back now.

  “Actually,” Ortheldo said, “we’ll save you the trouble of finding shelter and just kill you all.”

  Thwip! I released the two arrows and watched as they flew down through the trees. I wondered if my marks would be hit. The arrows killed the two Gibirs I was aiming for! I couldn’t believe it! I could still hit an intended target, even from this distance!