Only a Glow

by Nichelle Rae

  I turned my thoughts to other matters. Maybe, just maybe, I could take my mind off my misery. I turned my thoughts to what had happened mere hours ago with Ibalissa. I hoped the messenger that Ortheldo snagged had gotten his letter to Hoibur about his daughter. When he and Azrel were writing it, Azrel insisted that Hoibur not know that Ibalissa had tried to kill her. When I asked her why, she said, “When a person’s strings are pulled by another, only the puppeteer can be blamed.” Whatever that meant.

  I could not escape the memory of seeing my sister with a knife buried in her back. I couldn’t escape the terror I felt in that moment, the terror that I might actually lose her. I should have been there! I should have protected her! I had a bad feeling about Ibalissa right from the off. I should have listened to myself!

  I certainly had someone to thank, though. That tan stranger had saved my sister’s life. Azrel didn’t know it, but she was my whole world. I’d have to kill myself if I ever lost her. She had looked out for me in The Pitt, she protected me. She was always, always there for me when I needed her and even when I didn’t. She taught me everything about weaponry and adventure and travel. She introduced me to the woodland animals and taught me about their ways. The people of my land would never tolerate such education. Everything I knew, I owed to her. Everything I was, I owed to her.

  My feet suddenly slid on a patch of mud. I landed hard on my butt with thick splash. I groaned from the rude awakening back into reality. I shook the mud off my hands then stood with an effort. I blew out an annoyed breath as I let my body adjust to the new cold feeling on my butt and back of my legs. I moved a strand of hair stuck to my forehead, then trudged on. So much for getting lost in my thoughts. I couldn’t walk correctly unless I paid attention. The icy hot feeling in my fingertips, the freezing cold rain, my stomach growling—all brought me back to our miserable path.

  I resorted to beating myself up again for not staying with Azrel and Ibalissa. Every instinct I had had told me not to leave them alone. Why hadn’t I listened? That dark feeling I couldn’t explain, had arrived as soon as Ortheldo asked me to come along to burn the bodies of the men Azrel had killed. I’d had to swallow hard before I’d screamed, “Are you crazy? Don’t you feel that something is wrong here?” But I went anyway. I’d ignored the feelings, dismissing them as brotherly love, perhaps even paranoia at being out here in the world for the first time in my life. But it hadn’t been simple brotherly love! Something had been very wrong, and it nearly cost me my sister!

  When that tan stranger came into my sight against the distant trees, and the words I heard—I found myself shaking my head even as I remembered them now. They came out so offhandedly so casually, as if it didn’t matter at all. “You may want to get back to your friend. She’s about to be murdered by the red head.” Then the stranger just disappeared. Ortheldo and I bolted, just in time to be too late.

  I smiled, still in disbelief and wonder at how I had saved her with my magic. My magic! I used it! Effectively! I still don’t know how I did it, but I clutched the beaded heart around my neck wondering if Norka had something to do with it. Maybe he was protecting us still, from beyond the grave.

  The storm hadn’t ceased by morning. I painfully watched the sky grow slightly lighter and lighter as the hours dragged on for eternity. Finally, when I was about to pass out from exhaustion, Azrel and Ortheldo decided we’d made up a good amount of lost time. In a village called Blesska, we went to the first inn we found.

  We put the horses up then staggered into the common without a word to each other, all of us barely staying on our feet. While Azrel and Ortheldo went to inquire about a room, I actually did lose my legs for a moment. On reflex, I grabbed the first thing I felt my hands touch and that supported my nearly dead weight. It turned out to be a tabletop.

  I waited until after the dizziness faded. Once it did, I got a very evil feeling in my soul. I turned my eyes up slowly and found myself looking into the coldest pair of dark blue eyes I’d ever seen. I flinched at the ice that seemed to stab me in my eye sockets from looking into that gaze. The face was no softer: He had sharp, strong features that a fleet of men would cower under; thin, hard white lips almost completely covered by a thick blonde mustache; and short blonde hair plastered down with the rain. His clothes were soaked through, showing hard, defined muscles under a medium build.

  His eyes seemed to rip through my very soul! I imagined I’d never forget the horrible feeling I got from those eyes. It felt like a thousand tiny ice snakes with spikes along their entire body were swimming in my veins.

  I straightened myself up and dropped my hands from the top of the table where he sat, and we stared at each other. His eyes seemed to freeze me in place. The tension grew, and not the clattering noise of the inn or the storm outside could ease the silence between us.

  The tension broke briefly when he glanced away from me to Ortheldo and Azrel. I didn’t like the look he was giving my sister. His cold eyes brightened at the sight of her. He shifted his eyes back to me with a new sinister light. “Are you okay, son?” he finally asked. His voice was deep and kind, but I saw right through the false concern.

  “Yes,” I replied, trying to keep my voice from shaking and betraying my fear. “I’m sorry for disturbing you. We’ve traveled for a long time and I’m weary.”

  He gave a slow, careful nod, his eyes fixed on me intently as if absorbing my face. Then he looked back at Azrel. “I have no doubt.”

  I took a careful step back, dreading that those horrible eyes would fall on me again. He didn’t even notice. He held his gaze on Azrel even as he lifted a mug of hot ale to his lips and took a sip from it. I moved to stand beside my sister, not daring to turn my back on that man. Azrel was speaking to the innkeeper behind the bar.

  I finally turned toward her and protectively placed my hand on her lower back. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

  She turned her tired, ashen face to me and looked at me as if I were daft. “What?”

  I glanced back at the man; he was still staring at her. I looked in my sister’s eyes. “I have a bad feeling about this place. Can’t we go up the road a little more?”

  I had Ortheldo’s attention now. He and Azrel exchanged glances then looked back at me. “Rabryn, you’re just tired,” Azrel said. “All of our nerves are on end. We just need to sleep. Everything is fine.”

  I looked at Ortheldo standing on the other side of her while she went back to talking about getting a room. Ortheldo didn’t look so sure that it was my nerves on end. I mouthed “look” to him and turned my gaze to the man. He hadn’t even moved and his eyes were still on Azrel. He wasn’t even trying to be inconspicuous about staring at her.

  Ortheldo and I looked at each other again. Then he placed his hand on Azrel’s back. “I have a bad feeling, too,” he said to her. “Let’s go up the road a little bit.”

  Azrel gave an exasperated sigh. “Please believe me, you’re both just tired.” She looked to each of us. “We’ll get some sleep and everything will be fine. We’re not staying that long anyway. Nothing is going to happen.”

  I gazed around at the inn. Maybe she was right. It looked friendly enough here. It was wide open and clean. Not too many goons were hanging around here it seemed, just the one behind us. Maybe he was just deeply attracted to Azrel. A few other men around the common room were shooting glances at my sister, particularly eyeing the exquisite shape of her body; it was very apparent under the soaking wet clothes that clung to her.

  I sighed and nodded. “Maybe you’re right.” I turned to look at the man again, but he was gone. Feeling instantly relieved, I nodded. “Okay, we’ll stay here.” I didn’t care much to take another step anyway, never mind walk the Light Gods knew how far down the road to another inn.

  Once we had a room, we all trudged heavily up the stairs, each of us barely able to lift our feet up onto the next step. We opened the door and went in. I barely even noticed it, but it looked a lot like the Oaksher Inn, only a bit brighter and homier. I
t had a fireplace on the back wall to the right of the bed, too. Ortheldo got busy right away starting a fire as Azrel went out in the hall for something. I plopped heavily onto the wood floor, leaning up against the bed, and weakly started to pull off my wet clothes.

  “Should we set up watches?” Ortheldo asked quietly.

  I considered it while I pulled my shirt over my head. I let it drop to the floor in a sopping heap, along with my cloak, then started to pull off my mud caked Salynn shoes. “No,” I said at last. “I think it’ll be okay. He left.”

  He started poking at the fire. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at her.”

  “Neither did I.” I reached over my shoulder and pulled one of the thick blankets off the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders. “His eyes were terrifying.” I threw Ortheldo one of the other blankets to wrap up in.

  He caught it and set it aside, then looked at me seriously. “Rabryn,” he said, “you told me you had a bad feeling when we left Azrel alone with Ibalissa, and look what happened. Neither of us took your bad feeling seriously.” He shook his head. “I don’t intend to make that mistake again.” His usual bright and charming eyes were drooping with the dull, lifeless look of utter exhaustion. “Now tell me, is this another one of your bad feelings?”

  I studied him a moment and thought about it. I knew he’d walk off a cliff for Azrel if she needed him to, so to deprive himself of much needed sleep would be no big deal. I knew he’d stay awake all night if I told him it was another bad feeling. I shook my head and finished taking off my pants under the warm blanket. “No, it’s not another bad feeling. Like Azrel said, my nerves are just on end.”

  He studied me a moment to be sure I was telling the truth, and I did my best to avoid his eyes. I’m sure he still wasn’t convinced, but he stood up and started peeling his clothes off. As he did, Azrel returned carrying a rack with long pegs. She placed it in front of the fire with the pegs facing the warm heat.

  “Put your clothes on this so they can dry,” she said as she scooped up my pile of wet garments.

  “I’ll do it, Azrel.”

  “I’ve got it,” she replied without looking at me. I was too tired to argue and just leaned against the bed and stared into the fire as I clutched the blanket around me. For some reason, I found myself thinking about those incredibly bright green eyes I’d seen in Oaksher Village. I’d only seen them from a distance, but even then, they were striking. I wished I’d seen them up close, to see if they really were as unearthly as Azrel said.

  “I’m taking the couch this time,” Ortheldo declared as he sat wrapped up in a blanket staring into the fire.

  I looked up to ask Azrel if it was his turn for the couch or mine when my words were frozen in my throat as she peeled off her shirt and stood naked before my eyes. I couldn’t help looking at her. I’d never seen the soft curves of a woman’s bare flesh before. Despite the fact she was my sister, Light Gods, a woman’s body was such an incredibly beautiful thing. I couldn’t help looking, but when her eyes met mine I felt myself turn bright red. I moved my eyes to the floor immediately, but not fast enough.

  “It’s alright, Rabryn. You would have seen a naked woman eventually,” she said.

  I cleared my throat and desperately changed the subject. “No arguments about Ortheldo having the couch?”

  I saw the blanket swish around her feet as she wrapped it around herself and figured it was safe to look up at her. She sat on the floor and gazed into the fire. “Do you really think I’m in any condition to think of a witty argument?” She shifted her eyes to me and we both smiled softly.

  We sat in silence for a long time, letting our bones unfreeze. As I stared into the flames I soon found it was taking a lot of effort to hold my head up. Without a word, I forced myself to my feet, using the bed for aid, and I dropped my shoulder onto the mattress. After curling the blanket tightly around me, I was asleep.

  Rabryn! Help! Raaaaabryyyn!

  I awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed, gasping for air and dripping with beads of sweat. I quickly looked down at the bed beside me and found Azrel sound asleep. I sighed in relief, and my shoulders sagged as I looked down at her. Her screams had seemed so real! She had looked so real.

  I lay back down, rubbing my eyes and trying to catch my breath. I sighed and looked across the room to Ortheldo, glad to see he hadn’t stayed awake to keep watch. I curled up onto my side with my back to Azrel and tried to go back to sleep. The storm was still raging. Thunder shook the very building, but that’s not why I was uneasy.

  That dream was terrifying, even as I remembered it. I hadn’t seen anything very frightful, but the feeling of terror just seemed to consume the entire world of the dream. Azrel was standing alone in an eerie green light. Her hand was reaching out to me and she was screaming my name. As I ran to her, not making any ground, her image started to pulsate from her normal form into the White Warrior. I wanted to help her—how desperately I wanted to help her—but I didn’t know what was wrong. The terror in her face as both herself and the White Warrior was the most frightening thing I had ever seen. She was so afraid, so alone.

  Suddenly I heard floorboards creek. My nearly closed eyes snapped open and shifted to the door of our room. A shadow was cast under the crack as someone stood outside. I held my breath, knowing exactly who it was without setting my sight on him. I could feel the cold, dark blue eyes coming through the oak door as if it were wide open and I was doing a jig in the buff.

  I slowly sat up and silently got to my feet. I went over to the rack in front of the fireplace, took my pants from the pegs and pulled them on. They were nearly dry, meaning I’d been asleep a good while. I went back toward the bed, guided only by pale daylight filtered through dark gray storm clouds. I reached under it and grabbed my hunting knife. I held it in my grasp tightly, trying not to tremble as I slowly approached the door.

  I was halfway there when Azrel suddenly awoke in a screaming fit that nearly turned my insides out. I snapped my head back to look at her as she writhed around on the bed, as if she were being murdered by the air. She was kicking her feet, clawing and slapping around in utter horror and panic. I nearly lost my mind seeing my sister like that!

  I turned and ran back toward her as Ortheldo closed the distance across the room to the bed. We each stood on one side of her and I looked back toward the door again. The shadow was gone, so I turned my attention to Azrel. Ortheldo was standing over her, shaking her, and I realized she was still asleep. She was having a nightmare?!

  “Azrel! Wake up!” Ortheldo screamed. I joined in, trying to wake her, my heart beating faster every moment she was in this horrible state.

  The thundering of feet running up the wooden stairs of the inn was louder than the thunder outside as Azrel finally opened her eyes. She was gasping and panting, sweat dripping off her entire body as she looked around the room as if she’d forgotten where she was.

  The door was suddenly kicked in and six heavyset men filled the doorway. I could only imagine what they thought was happening when they entered. Azrel was lying naked and exposed since she’d kicked off her blanket. Ortheldo was completely naked as he stood over her, holding her shoulders firmly from trying to shake her awake, and I was standing half-naked on the other side of the bed with a knife in my hand. The big men charged forward, immediately making Ortheldo and me cower against the back wall.

  “No! No!” Azrel cried, her voice high pitched and truly terrified, a sound I’d never heard in her voice. She sat up and held a hand out to them, desperately clutching the blanket to herself with the other. She swallowed a few times, composing herself as best she could. “It’s okay. They’re fine. They’re not hurting me. We…” She glanced from me to Ortheldo. “Um…we just got carried away with our, uh…game,” she said, implying that we had been engaged in sexual role play. She looked at Ortheldo, “Right?” He hesitated then gave a nod. She turned to me and nodded her head. I looked back at the six men and nodded my agreement.

&nbs
p; The men fumed. “You sounded like you were being murdered!” yelled the one in front.

  “Well,” she began awkwardly, then looked at them with false bashfulness, “that was the scene. I was a damsel in distress about to be…”

  “Alright!” the man cried, not wanting to hear the details. “Keep it down! No one wants to hear what you do up here!” We all nodded as the men shook their heads in disgust and left, slamming the door behind them.

  Azrel dropped her head to the pillow and her eyes began to fill with white water as she stared up at the ceiling. She covered her mouth with her hands and squeezed her eyes shut, letting two large tears fall from the corners of her eyes.

  “Azrel,” Ortheldo said softly, kneeling beside the bed and taking her hand. “What happened?”

  Azrel looked at the ceiling again and placed her hand on her forehead. “I—I don’t know.” She closed her eyes once again. “It was so real.” My heart bled for her. What had she seen that terrified her so badly? She opened her eyes a moment later and looked at me. Her eyes went to the knife in my hand. “What happened?” A white tear slid across the bridge of her nose and dripped onto the other cheek.

  My heart ached, but before I could answer her, or even comfort her, her eyes suddenly went wide and she threw the blanket up over her head and curled up underneath it. I was about to ask her what she was doing when I realized that someone was standing in the doorway, though I hadn’t even heard the door open.

  It was him.

  “Is everything alright?” he asked while coming forward.

  I quickly moved to stand at the end of the bed to keep him from getting too close, my knife held firmly in my fist. “We’re fine. Leave.”

  He blanched. “No need to be rude. I just want to check on the lady.”