Only a Glow

by Nichelle Rae

  While it was still a mystery how Azrel and the White Warrior became separated, the fact apparently still stood. Azrel’s magic had developed its own personality in her mind, creating the White Warrior. I shook my head in disbelief again. Only Beldorn could probably make sense of the “how.”

  I looked at Addredoc. “Is that how the White Warrior communicates with you and her other protectors? While you sleep?” I asked, recalling that Azrel, or the White Warrior, had said, “How nice to see you in this world at last.”

  “Yes,” Addredoc replied, surprised I would know that. “She calls us all to another world almost. It’s a safe meeting place where Evil can’t hear us, and she relays orders to us there.”

  I stared at Addredoc as I came to an unreal conclusion. “Does this meeting place look anything like an endless void of green light?”

  Addredoc flinched and I caught Ortheldo’s eyes going wide. “Yes. As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what it is.”

  I looked at Ortheldo again. “In Blesska, when Azrel had that night terror from that hunter, you had a dream of green light too, didn’t you?” He nodded slowly, his eyes still wide. “So did I.”

  “But why?” he asked.

  “Think about it,” I said, standing from the bed as things started somehow clicking into place in my mind. “Hathum, a master of mind magic, has a hunter on the loose to find the White Warrior. Yet this hunter can’t get anything out of her mind. So, what does he do? He’s most likely going to turn to her companions and search their minds for anything in our memories relating to Azrel and the White Warrior. The White Warrior probably pulled our minds, as well as her own, out of Azrel’s mind and memories, into this safe meeting place so Glessar couldn’t find anything.”

  I was on a roll! Things were starting to make sense now.

  “That…actually makes an odd kind of sense,” Addredoc piped in.

  I found myself thinking about the Deralilya again. “Is Acalith a Salynn or a Wizard? And why doesn’t she just stay with the White Warrior?” That question, I had to admit, was more for my sake than Azrel’s.

  Addredoc shrugged. “I don’t know what she is. She could be either, but she could very well be human, too.”

  My brows dropped. “But her teleporting ability—that’s magic, isn’t it? Humans can’t use magic.”

  “That traveling ability is bestowed on all Deralilyas, magic user or not. If they are sent on a mission by the White Warrior, and then sense trouble while they’re away from her, the Deralilya can blink and instantly return to the White Warrior’s side. As for why she doesn’t stay with Azrel, Acalith is probably just not ready yet.”

  “Not ready?” Ortheldo and I both said.

  “Well, in almost every country in Casdanarus, it’s a crime punishable by death to even think highly of the White Warrior due to…well, his history. I reckon Acalith lives in one of those countries, and if she was discovered to be serving the White Warrior, the Light Gods only know what they’d do to her.”

  “Why couldn’t she just run away?” I asked rather foolishly.

  “She’s probably someone of high rank or position in her own country and would be missed, so she has to come and go quickly.”

  How interesting. More mysteries surrounded those green eyes. Who and what was she, and where was she from?

  “Alright, there’s another issue I need to have clarified,” I said, looked at Ortheldo and then Addredoc. “What did the White Warrior whisper to you both? I heard her say, ‘Remember what I told you and savor that kiss.’ What did she mean, and why did she whisper it?”

  Ortheldo sighed and looked down. “She wanted me to savor her kiss because Azrel hasn’t forgiven me yet for betraying her. The White Warrior knows our betrayal was necessary to bring her to her protectors and she isn’t angry with us, but Azrel’s thoughts aren’t completely clear on how she’s going to handle it. She’s still hurting. I’m not sure why she whispered, though.” His brows dropped in confusion.

  “Is that all she said?”

  “That, and she told me she and Azrel were indeed two separate people.”

  “She whispered that to me, as well,” Addredoc piped in, looking and sounding guilty. “I had no idea, or I would have been gentler with her last night while she was at my house. My parents and I knew something wasn’t right and started getting nervous that the instructions were wrong.”

  “What else did she say to you?” I asked.

  “She just told me to follow you and tell you about the instructions, myself and my parents, the Deralilya, and anything else you might have questions about. She also gave me instructions to pass to my parents, but they heard anyway. They were to get on their horses and ride back toward our house, making it seem to Azrel that we were leaving her alone, but we are to follow from a distance so we are still nearby. The White Warrior whispered so Azrel wouldn’t know we were going to be following. Azrel is anxious to be rid of us.”

  “Okay, so Azrel can see and hear everything the White Warrior does when she takes over, right?”

  Addredoc nodded. “Yes. Just as the White Warrior can see and hear everything Azrel does when Azrel is in control.”

  I looked at Ortheldo, confused. “And she’s not aware yet that her magic has taken on a personality of its own? That they are two separate beings? She hasn’t rationalized that the reason for this ‘detached state of mind’ when she uses her magic is because her magic has taken over her body as another person?”

  Ortheldo rolled his eyes. “Is there anything really rational about what you just said?”

  I had to smile at that.

  “She probably doesn’t want to know what’s wrong with her,” Addredoc suddenly said. Both Ortheldo and I looked at him. “She hates her magic so much, she just doesn’t want to think about it, never mind think about the possibility that the thing she hates most in the world is another person inside her mind. If she were to believe that, she’d only hate herself more than she already does. Right now, she hates herself so much, she’s already on the brink of self-destruction. She only deals with the events generated by the White Warrior when she must. Then she tries to forget they even happened so she can pretend that her magic isn’t there. She’s desperately trying not self-destruct even if she’s not aware of it. And if she hates herself anymore than she already does, she will self-destruct.”

  My poor sister! Unfortunately, that made perfect sense. I knew Azrel well enough to know how much sense that observation made. “How did you know she hates her magic so much?” I asked.

  Addredoc gave a small humph. “Considering she was on her knees in my bathing room, pulling her hair out and screaming at the top of her lungs about how much she hated it, I kind of guessed.”

  I shook away that horrifying image, then turned to look out the window again. “Well, since Azrel can see and hear everything the White Warrior does, we’ve got some explaining to do. She’ll probably have questions.”

  “I wouldn’t be too sure,” Addredoc said. I looked at him over my shoulder. “She probably wants to forget any of this happened, so she might not ask any questions at all. If she does,” he shrugged, “I’ll think of something. She can’t be told the truth, however, that she and the White Warrior are two separate people. She needs to learn it for herself because it will be easier for her to accept that way.”

  Ortheldo and I kept it to ourselves that we’d already brought the possibility to her attention. Because she had dismissed it so quickly, maybe she wouldn’t consider it again and would learn it on her own.

  I studied the powerful Wizard–Salynn before me. Two gifts of Ancient Wizards was staggering. Ortheldo told me that made Addredoc was probably the most powerful being alive! And he’d done a remarkable job clearing things up for me. I wish I had half of his knowledge, and I was grateful for the loyalty and protection he gave my sister.

  I looked at the Red Sallybreath Flowers in his hair. “What realm are you from again?”

  “Godel,” he said as if that was the la
st question he’d expected me to ask.

  “And you were banished for being loyal to the White Warrior?”

  “My parents were, yes.”

  I pressed my lips together in a grim line and touched the surface of my magic. A cocoon of heat formed around me, and the cotton and wool clothes against my skin gave way to the soft, slippery silk I’d gotten used to before coming to Narcatertus. My hair lengthened and my clumsy, heavy boots faded into Salynn shoes. Back in my Salynn form, I looked at an astonished Addredoc. “I thank you for that.”

  Looking at me with wide eyes, he slowly stood from the couch, then touched his fingertips to the middle of his forehead and bowed at the waist to me.

  I flinched at the unexpected gesture. “There’s no need for that, Addredoc.” I knew my kin of White Veilvin were the most powerful of Salynns, but I didn’t know other Salynns bowed to them.

  “This was unexpected!” Addredoc said as he straightened with a smile. “You’re magic will come in handy.”

  I scoffed. “Sure, if I knew how to use it.”

  Addredoc’s brows dropped. “You just did.”

  “Transforming my appearance is about all I can do. I’m half human, and I was born and raised among humans. My father was a Salynn, but due to the prejudice and fear of the people where I was raised, he never let anyone know what he truly was. He was also never able to teach me how to use my magic.”

  Addredoc’s eyes brightened. “I could teach you! If you’d like, of course.”

  I smiled. “Would you?”

  He grinned. “It would be an honor.” Then his grin quickly disappeared and his eyes dropped to the floor in dismay. “Oh, but my parents and I were ordered to stay out of Azrel’s sight. I can’t teach you from a distance.”

  I smiled. “Don’t worry about my sister’s orders. I’ll just tell her how you’re going to help me, and she’ll be fine.”

  “But it wasn’t your sister who gave me the orders,” he said dubiously.

  “In a way it was, and if the White Warrior has anything to say about it then she can deal with me.” Addredoc still looked doubtful as I turned back to the window. I pressed my palms against the cold glass and seemed to find some deep degree of concentration when I looked outside. “Ortheldo, you also said you were in a green light when you received the necklace, right?”

  “Yes.”

  So, the White Warrior hands Ortheldo this necklace, sending us on this insane journey. Why Ortheldo and not Azrel? And how did she get it in the first place? I bet the White Warrior knew who the necklace belonged to. So why give it to Ortheldo in the first place, send him to Azrel, tell us to return it, and not say whom to return it to?

  “I’m sorry, what’s this about a necklace?” Addredoc asked.

  Ortheldo and I looked at each other, confused. Then Ortheldo looked back at Addredoc. “You don’t know of it?”

  “Depends on what you’re talking about.”

  I felt waves of anticipation ignite from my toes and travel up to heat my face. Addredoc was old and wise; maybe he knew something about it! But why wouldn’t the White Warrior tell him about it?

  I pushed away from the window and walked toward him. “It looks much like a diamond, but perfectly round. It has a rather odd orange glow within, and it’s warm to the touch.”

  Addredoc’s eyes went wide, and he suddenly collapsed to his knees. Ortheldo and I rushed to him. “Are you alright?”

  Addredoc?”

  “How—how did you say you got it?” he asked, ignoring our concern.

  “The White Warrior gave it to me in that green ‘other world.’ Are you alright?” Ortheldo asked.

  “Gave it to you? That doesn’t make any sense! Why would...”

  Suddenly, a deathly blank look came over his face, and he fell forward onto us passing out completely. Ortheldo and I exchanged confused and concerned glances before Ortheldo picked him up and laid him on the bed.

  “What was that about?” he asked.

  “I don’t know, but we’re going to have to find out.” I said.

  We stayed silent for a few moments, pondering all we had learned. He was the first to speak. “So, what do you think about this whole business? You’ve been on a roll since we came upstairs.”

  I went to the window again. “I’m not sure yet.”

  I began to run through the facts again in my head. The White Warrior lives in a protective “other world” to keep Hathum away from her. She suddenly surfaces in the physical world after nine years of inactivity as a separate person in Azrel’s mind. She gives Ortheldo a priceless gem. Then we’re sent to find the owner, though I was pretty certain she already knew who it was. And yet…

  My eyes went wide!

  …and yet the White Warrior has steadily been growing stronger inside of Azrel since we left The Pitt!

  My heart stopped as I recalled the White Warrior’s words in Blesska, “Don’t talk to me as a stranger. It doesn’t help my purpose.”

  Help what purpose?

  Safe from Hathum, and growing in power. That was it!

  “The White Warrior needs to be one with Azrel,” I said in a whisper.

  “What?” Ortheldo said eagerly.

  I spun to look at him. “That ‘other world’ in Azrel’s subconscious, where the White Warrior lives—it’s a huge weakness!”

  “How so? The hunter couldn’t get his proof she was the White Warrior because we were all brought there.”

  “That was just a lowly hunter! Hathum could get in if he knew who Azrel was!”

  Ortheldo’s eyes went wide and he stood from the bed.

  “Azrel needs her magic to destroy him, and at the same time, the White Warrior can’t have that weakness because Hathum could annihilate her if he got in there! The White Warrior sent us on this journey to strengthen herself and Azrel, to fuse them as one being again, so she will be able to destroy Hathum.”

  I paused to catch my breath and my thoughts.

  “That mist!” I continued. “That mist we both saw was the White Warrior in the best physical form she can manage as a simple force of magic! When she visited you in that form, she told you herself that Azrel needed to be reminded of who she was, that she had forgotten. And like Addredoc said, her magic has caused so much pain in her life and her father’s, she chooses to forget about it altogether. But she needs it! She needs to accept that it’s a part of her, that the White Warrior is who she is! She can’t fight Hathum as two separate people. They each have qualities that complete the other. The White Warrior is trying to make them whole again.”

  “That’s terrifying,” Addredoc said. We both looked and saw him sitting with his knees raised and his arms wrapped around them as if he’d been listening for a while. He looked up at me somberly. “You’re right. Hathum’s specialty is mind magic and corruption, and that ‘other world’ is deep in Azrel mind. He could completely destroy the White Warrior in there, and she would be defenseless to stop him. All of us would be defenseless to stop him since she is, in a way, trapped there until Azrel accepts her and lets her out. That will only happen if she allows herself to use her magic freely—magic that she hates with every fiber of her being.”

  “Are you okay?” Ortheldo asked, sitting on the bed. “You kind of just went limp and passed out.”

  “The White Warrior needed to speak with me urgently so she forcibly pulled me into our meeting place even though I wasn’t asleep.” He smiled. “Thanks for keeping me from falling on my face.”

  “Why did she need to speak with you so urgently?” Ortheldo asked.

  “I can’t tell you.”

  My jaw went tight.

  “It has to do with the necklace, doesn’t it?” Ortheldo said with conviction. Addredoc just looked away.

  “She knows who the owner is,” I finished.

  Addredoc didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to. “Azrel must finish this journey with no knowledge of the necklace owner or what is wrong with her magic,” Addredoc said. “She needs to find all thi
s out on her own. That’s all the White Warrior wanted me to tell you.”

  Ortheldo looked up at me. “Probably to strengthen her more.”

  As frustrating as this whole situation was, I nodded. “Probably.”

  “I don’t understand, though,” Ortheldo said, “why the White Warrior doesn’t just take permanent control of Azrel and, the Light Gods forbid, if Hathum does find his way into that ‘other world’ only Azrel will be…well, destroyed. Or Hathum may even see her as no threat and spare her.”

  “The White Warrior isn’t cruel,” Addredoc said with distaste. “She would never subject Azrel to that, knowing Azrel would be defenseless against a power like Hathum.”

  Our situation was a mess but I felt satisfied enough. “So, have we discovered enough for one day?” I asked and smiled forcibly. The other two smiled.

  “I think so.” Ortheldo shook his head at me. “You are a lot wiser than I would have ever given you credit for, coming from a land like The Pitt.” I laughed. “I’m serious. You are wiser than most who outrank you. I’m very, very impressed and,” he shrugged, “proud of you.”

  I smiled and felt a rush of heat in my cheeks from hearing his sincere praise. “Thank you very much, my friend.”

  He clapped me on the back, then he and I went around the room gathering our weapons we’d brought upstairs with us, not daring to leave them on the horses in this town. We made our way down the stairs to the common, which was completely packed with cowering people. Every shoulder touched another shoulder, some people even sat on tables murmuring in soft, nervous conversation. All eyes fell on us as we appeared, and everyone gasped and jumped in surprise at seeing me and Addredoc in our Salynn forms.

  “Salynns? Here?” one man whispered softly.

  “Quiet! Don’t you know they can hear you?” another scolded. But most just stared in horror and disbelief.

  As we made our way out, people pressed themselves as close to the walls, or as close to the person behind them, as they could to clear a path would for us to the door. We all walked out with defiant glares and our heads held high. As we passed, I could practically hear their minds screaming two different things; they hated my kind and wanted to rip our heads off our bodies, but they also had seen Addredoc’s powerful display outside in the street and didn’t even want to breathe as we passed by.