by B. J. Harvey
Noah: Knock, knock. Let me in, sweetheart.
A few minutes pass then I hear footsteps coming toward me and two locks being disengaged. The door slowly opens and Zoe stands there in front of me, wearing a black satin robe and Wonder Woman slippers.
Her eyes are wary, the anxiety clear as day to see. And after all that thinking about what I want to say, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m an idiot.”
Her mouth just drops open and her eyes widen. “Well that’s not what I expected you to say.”
“Can I come in?”
“Ah yeah, I’m just glad you want to come in.”
Oh thank fuck! If Winters is right about this honesty shit, then I owe that man a year’s worth of Millers at the very least.
“Nowhere else I would want to be right now, Zo.” How’s that for honesty?
“Except for the past four hours when you couldn’t be here?” Now if anyone other than Zoe had said that to me, I’d feel the bitch vibes from a mile off, but since I’m watching her when she says it, I can see she feels bad about me not being here.
I walk forward and gently put my hand on her stomach, pushing her slowly back until I can close the door behind me. Unable to resist it, I put my arms around her, one hand staying around her waist while the other snakes up her back to rest between her shoulder blades. She sags into me and buries her face into my T-shirt before her body starts shaking.
Kissing her hair, I just hold her as she lets it all out.
I hear steps down the hallway and look up to see Zander with bed hair—or I’m guessing couch hair—come toward us from the living room. He frowns at Zoe crying in my arms and I just nod at him to let him know it’s okay. He comes up behind her and taps her back. She lifts her head and smiles gently up at him. He leans down, whispering in her ear, causing her to nod and murmur, “Bye Zan.” He grins at her, looks at me, and gives a chin lift before letting himself out.
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” she asks shakily, returning her cheek to its resting place against mine.
“He looked like he already has. You did what you felt was right for you, and no one can fault you. Even if we might want to wring your neck because of it.”
She moves back slightly and watches me. “Do you mean that?”
“How ‘bout you get back into bed and we’ll talk? That’s if you want me to stay, of course?” I don’t try and hide the concern in my voice that she might say no. If I want her to be honest about everything, then I need to show her I can be too.
“Of course I do.”
“Right. I’ll lock up and meet you there. Do you need anything?”
She steps back and starts to walk away, but stops and turns, moving backwards while meeting my eyes. “Just you. Always you.”
“Thank fuck for that,” I mutter to the door as I do what I said and walk toward her bedroom.
She’s under the blankets when I get there, and I almost lose my determination to talk this out rather than strip our clothes off and work this out in other ways.
“You wanted to talk,” she says softly as I walk to her window and stand with my back to her. “Are you not staying?”
I turn and face her. “I’m definitely staying. I just need motivation to say what I need to say, and staying away from the temptation of you is helping me do that.”
She frowns and looks at me as if I have a screw loose, but nods belatedly. “I am sorry, you know. For hiding it.”
“I know you are. What I’m not sure about is whether you would’ve ever told anyone. And that is what’s probably the most frustrating part of all this.”
“I . . .” Her voice trails off and her eyes look away from mine. “I was just trying to do the right thing.”
“By what? Dealing it with all by yourself, Zo?” I growl. “Because I hope you now realize how fucked up that was.”
Her head jerks up and her eyes meet mine again. This time there is a new determination in them. “I did what I thought was right at the time. I will never apologize for trying to look out for myself.”
“But you don’t have to!” As hard as I try, I can’t help raising my voice. “I don’t think you understand that men like Zander and I, we love you and want to protect you.”
“I know that.”
Taking a deep breath to calm down, I sit on the edge of the bed, close to her. I reach out and take her hand in mine.
“By not telling us, you didn’t give us that chance.”
“Yeah, I get that,” she concedes lightly.
“But it means more than that to me. I was fucking terrified. I saw him hurting you, and I immediately wanted to make you safe and destroy him in the same fucking breath.” I struggle to control my emotions now as that terrified look on her face flashes back in my mind. “I was worried he’d hurt you. I can’t lose you when I’ve only just found you.”
Her eyes fill with tears as she sits up and cups my jaw, shattering the last ounce of resistance I had left. I pull her close and wrap my arms around her back, holding her body as close as possible to mine. “Don’t cry, Zo. It’s okay.”
“I . . . I . . . thought you wouldn’t come back. You . . . you didn’t call and you were so . . . so tense, and quiet, and out of it. I felt for sure that you were done with me.”
Gently tugging at her ponytail with my fingers, I pull her head back and stare at her.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” I ask with a small shake of my head and a knowing grin.
She frowns at me. “You were mad. You barely talked to me after hearing my statement, and I know you hate liars so I put two and two together and got four.”
“You put two and two together and got a thousand, sweetheart. So I’ll clear it up for you.” I let her go but only long enough to pull off my shirt and pull open the covers, lying down and moving to cloak her body in mine. Throughout all this she stays quiet, her eyes watching every move I make.
My hips drop between hers as I prop myself up on my elbows on either side of her body. Cupping her jaw in my hands, I move my lips close to hers but resist the urge to kiss her.
I feel a little frustrated huff of breath against my face, and I grin because she’s damn cute when she’s not getting her own way. “I was mad. I was scared of losing you. I was terrified you’d get hurt, and out of my mind with worry. You had your reasons to pull back from me. The most important thing is you love me and I love you, and believe me when I say, I’ve never loved another woman in my life.”
“But you left as soon as we got back here . . .”
“I had to leave because the way my head was, I didn’t want to say or do anything I’d regret, and doing anything to hurt you or us is something I never want to do.”
Her eyes soften and she tries to close the last inch between us but my hands hold firm. “Noah . . .”
“But in my defense, I called your brother as soon as I walked out your door, and I knew that someone would come straight over. I’d never leave you like that without knowing you would be alright.”
Her eyes bore into mine and I watch a myriad of emotions cross over her face before she lifts her head ever so slightly to whisper “okay” against my lips. I shift to lean on my side, my spare hand running down her body to rest on her ass.
“I went straight to Daniel’s and was going to check up on you . . . wait, what?”
“I said okay. I was scared and feeling guilty—you were mad and scared and didn’t know how you’d act, so you left to get your head together.”
“Ah yeah . . . where’s the but?”
“Actually, your hand is gripping mine right now.” “So you’re not mad at me?”
Her head jerks back and she glares at me. “Noah Taylor, do you think that I’d let you in my bed while I’m half-dressed and have your hand on my ass if I was mad at you?”
“Well . . .” My eyes drift down to take in her barely-there white tank top I know for a fact goes see-through in the right light.
“Noah?” she growls in frustr
ation.
“Yeah?” I reply distractedly as I lift my gaze back to meet hers.
“Get naked and kiss me,” she demands. I reach behind my head and start lifting my T-shirt over my head when she grips my shoulders to stop me. “Actually, kiss me first then get naked, then kiss me again.”
“Fuck I love you.”
“And I love you. So shut up and Kiss. Me.”
So I do exactly that, in that exact order, then I make up my own plan of attack and go from there.
A few hours later, I’m lying on my back with Zoe’s sweaty limp body draped over mine.
Sometime later, after rounds two, three, and four the next morning, I realize Daniel Winters must be Superman, and if not, he’s the fucking relationship Yoda of Chicago, because being honest and upfront with Zoe was the best thing I could have ever done.
But I’d never be stupid enough to tell him that.
∞∞∞
There it is, from clueless idiot to man in love in less than six months. Some might say that’s quick; some might say that it was simply fate.
I say it was both.
I’m glad that I got drunk at my best friend’s wedding and wasn’t watching where I was going. I’m positively ecstatic that Zoe almost fell over, and I still had enough wits about me to catch her.
And lastly, I’m over the fucking moon that I took one look at her and kissed the living shit out her.
I never doubted that I’d meet that one woman who’d be my true other half—I just never thought she’d come in the form of Zoe, the sassy, sexy young thing who never shies away from going toe to toe with me, and calling me out when I’m being an ass. She’s seen me for who I am, not what I’ve done or who I’ve done. She made me work for it at first and it’s the sweetest reward to be able to call her mine in the end.
I’m looking forward to a lifetime of fights and make-up sex, having her call me out on my shit and making me admit to it, making her blush and having her embarrass me in all the best ways, and finally, to spending the rest of my life making her smile, making her laugh, and better still, beginning and ending my days with her and only her.
I was searching for it, and in Zoe I’ve found it.
Bliss.
By the way, just to let you in on a little secret? I totally remember that kiss.
It came back to me in full visual and physical glory when I kissed her for the first time on her doorstep.
Lucky I always go after what I want.
Epilogue
“What Goes Around … Comes Around”
One wedding (mine), two years, and three Bliss babies (not mine) later . . .
Noah
I’m cock-deep inside my wife—yes I said it, my wife—when the phone beside the bed starts ringing.
“Leave it and get your mouth back down here,” Zoe moans as I drop my full weight down onto her and stick my tongue down her throat just the way she likes.
But as soon as the ringing stops, it restarts thirty seconds later.
“For fuck’s sake. I’m trying to come here!” Zoe yells, making my eyes bug out at her before a huge smirk takes over my face.
“Really?” I ask as I stop mid-thrust and just stare at her with a quirked brow.
“Yes!” she pants. “Don’t stop!”
“Demanding one, aren’t we?”
“You love it,” she mumbles against my lips as her fingers tighten in my hair and close the gap, just as she raises her hips up to meet mine. Fuck!
Then that damn phone goes again. Who the fuck is calling me on my honeymoon?
“If you don’t throw that thing into the sea, I fucking will,” I mutter before reluctantly pulling out of her and sitting naked on the side of the bed. “What?” I answer, picking up the phone.
“Well someone’s grumpy. Daniel, why is Noah not happy to hear from me?”
“Maybe cause it’s his honeymoon and he’s probably in the middle of getting some,” he replies.
“Is that right, Noah? Were you giving it to your wife?” Mac asks playfully.
“He was fucking me hard too!” Zoe yells over my shoulder.
“That’s my sister, for fuck’s sake,” Zander moans as I hear their daughter Rose making baby sounds in the background.
“She loved it too,” I retort with a grin.
“Shut your mouth, Taylor.”
Now Zoe is giggling.
“Well, we all know something we just knew you’d want to know,” Mac announces gleefully.
“Did Winters get one past the goal again? Seriously, guys. Three is enough. Just wrap it up or buy a television for God’s sake!” I say back.
Then there’s laughter coming at me over the phone from at least six people, I kid you not.
“No, thank you very much! But thanks for the contraception tip; we’ll take that advice on board, Dr. Taylor. I’ll make sure to tell little Mason that his godfather thinks the world of him.”
“You do that,” I reply wryly. “But who else is in on this call? ’Cause it sounds like we’re sitting in Soldier Field.”
“We conference-called you. You’ve got Mac and Daniel, Sam and Sean and Zan and me, all here to share the news with you,” Kate says excitedly. “We couldn’t wait till you got back. I mean, who takes two weeks for a freaking honeymoon?”
I’m now holding the handset between Zoe and I, our heads close together as we listen to our crazy friends over the phone.
“Ah, didn’t you all take long honeymoons?” Zoe asks.
“We took longer,” Sam says, speaking for the first time. “Hi, by the way.”
“Hey,” Zoe says. “How did Megan take the news that she was going to be a big sister?”
“Let’s say it’s still a work in progress,” Sam admits. Sam and Sean are expecting baby number two just eighteen months after their first, and this time it’s a boy. To say Sean is happy about it is an understatement.
“Let the man get back to his wife, Mac,” Sean’s deep, rather authoritarian voice orders.
“Oooh the big bad Dom is telling you off, Mac,” Sam teases.
“He didn’t call me baby doll, so it doesn’t count,” Mac fires back.
“I can’t spank you, baby doll, but your husband sure can.”
“She’d like that too much, Sean,” Daniel announces.
“Well duh!” Mac says with a laugh. “Anyway. Noah, you wanna hear the news?”
“Alright then. Hurry up so I can go back to fucking my wife.” I pull the phone down quickly to kiss Zoe hard on the mouth before lifting it back up.
“Seriously, Taylor. Too much.”
Now that makes me chuckle. “Okay. Hit me with it then.”
“So your mom told my mom, who told Daniel, who told me—”
“I’m getting soft here, Mac.”
The guys chuckle and the girls gasp in shock before giggling. Zoe, however, just looks down at my cock and smirks at me, mouthing liar, which makes me grin.
“Well, heaven forbid that happens,” Mac replies dryly. “Anyway, Nikki’s husband walked out on her two days into the honeymoon. Two days! Can you believe it? Well I’m sure we all can, because who would be crazy enough to hook up with Satan . . . well, you and Daniel did, but I like to refer to that period of your lives as your crazy years. Anyway, apparently Nikki is devastated but the husband is M.I.A.”
If I had it in my heart to feel bad for her, I probably would. But Satan—as we all now affectionately call her—has had it coming for a while now. She moved her wedding up to the weekend before ours purely out of spite. Not that we gave a shit, but to her it was better to get married before us to try and show us up. Shame it didn’t turn out that way.
“So that’s it? That’s why you interrupted us?” I ask.
“Well . . .” Mac starts to stay.
“She thought Zoe would at least take great pleasure at this news, and also thought it would be funny to interrupt you mid-coitus,” Daniel explains.
“Well, love you all, wouldn’t normally cut such a gre
at call short, but my wife is looking at me as if I’m breakfast, lunch and dinner and she’s been fasting, so I’m going back to finish the job. Any complaints?”
Zander grumbles, but otherwise there is just laughing.
“No? Good. Great. See you in seven days.”
Zoe is giggling her tits off as she ends the call, turns the handset off on the side and throws it toward the floor just in time for me to lie down, sit her on top of me and fill her to the hilt.
Fucking perfect.
Coming Soon …
I have a craving.
A dark urge I’ve failed to resist despite years of trying to do that very thing.
I’ve forced myself to hide behind a mask, a perfect orchestration to hide my true self.
After I met her, my wants and needs, my inner most desires changed.
She encouraged me to embrace who I truly am, and she was willing to do anything and everything I wanted, giving herself to satisfy my most carnal appetite.
Then everything in my carefully managed world came crashing down around me. A moment in time, a loss of control, and the very thing I cherish was nearly taken from me.
My fate now lies in her hands.
The very life I’ve built for myself . . . everything I’ve ever done now waits in purgatory, all caused by a lack of focus at a time when my most concentrated attention was needed.
The very thing I crave may now be the end of me.
Keep reading for an exclusive preview of Chapter 1 from CRAVE
Another event, another night spent wearing my well-worn mask.
I show the world what they want to see. No, what they expect to see. A nationally renowned architect with iconic buildings attributed to his name attracts attention and garners certain expectations. I’m expected to be approachable, respectable, inspiring, and well put together. And from the outside, I’m all of those things. A good man from a great family, a man who rose to recognition for designing a few buildings that inspired national pride, and doing it by showcasing the best of modern architectural techniques.
