Trailed

by Naomi Niles

  “Anyways, they took us to the local police office, where we were supposed to make camp for the night. It was surreal. The police were three boys, no older than fifteen, each with fully automatic weapons that they propped up against the ruined, mud brick walls of the tiny square building they called a police station.” He paused for a moment, lost in the memory.

  “Things went well. The boys were nice. They smoked a lot of opium, so they didn’t give us any trouble, and we rested. We built a fire in the center of the room and roasted hot dogs and laughed. Late that night, one of the other soldiers went out to take a leak, and suddenly, we heard gunshots all around us, coming from all sides.

  “I ran to get my gun and saw one of the boys fall over with a bullet in his head. I rushed outside, grabbed a grenade, and threw it in the direction of the gunfire, then dove back into the police station to get away from the blast. When I came out, the guy who went out to pee was leaning against a wall, crying his eyes out. He was covered in blood spray.

  “That was my life for ten years.”

  “How do you deal with that?”

  He turned away from me and stared up at the ceiling, then snapped his eyes shut with a sharp intake of breath.

  “You don’t, do you? Do you still see it, Dwayne?”

  He pressed his lips together.

  “Dwayne…”

  “I don’t see it when I’m with you.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “They say it’ll go away with time, and it’s not that bad.”

  “You get flashbacks?”

  “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been at war for ten years, and the men I’ve fought were no better than animals. They were so desperate, they’d have blown up their own families just to kill us. One punk with a knife isn’t going to stop me.”

  “Life has a way of getting to you like that. It’s ironic the way things work. It’d be just like the fates to throw you under the bus now that you’re happy.”

  He laughed. “Those old hags can’t hurt me.”

  “I’m going to ask you again, and I need you to promise this time because last time you didn’t. You dodged me.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t jump in front of any bullets, Dwayne. If there’s danger, do what they ask or run. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I promise.”

  “You better not go back on that.”

  “No,” he kissed me. “You’re right. It’s not just about me, is it?”

  “No, it isn’t.” I rested my head on his shoulder where it belonged. “What’s it like?”

  “What’s what like?”

  “A flashback.”

  “The world fades, and I forget where I am. I see the sands and relive the things I’ve done. It’s gruesome and painful, and I can’t control it.”

  “What do you see?”

  “Pain, torture, desperation — things so sick I couldn’t even talk about them. Most of us go through it. We just don’t talk about it. If we do, they discharge us. But you changed all that. You bring me back.”

  “Is that why you were so stiff before?”

  “Maybe. It happens more when I’m anxious.”

  “Then I’ll do everything I can to relax you.” I pecked him on the cheek.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Dwayne

  I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a house filled with the smell of lilacs. She was everywhere — in the sheets, the air, the walls, soaked into the carpet. The smell dug into my nostrils and didn’t leave, even when I left that night to go to work. I watched the cameras all night, determined to rush out at any sign of movement, but nobody came.

  The next night, the smell was starting to fade, and I was tired from staying up all night. But I didn’t give up. I kept a coffee by my side at all times and rarely looked away from the cameras. I skipped lunch and worked through my breaks, hoping to find something, but I didn’t.

  The nights were starting to melt together into one long caffeine-fueled ordeal. I drank so much coffee that my hands were starting to tremble and the world faded into a soft haze, somewhere between the sands of the Afghani desert and my tiny office.

  I lost track of time, focused only on finding the prick that thought he could come into my domain. I started to think of the building as my own. I guarded the databases in the basement and watched over the parking lots like a lion protecting his land.

  When I wasn’t sleeping or working, I kept my phone close. Gillian would text in short bursts, asking how things were going and wondering when she could see me. It broke my heart that our schedules conflicted so much, but there was nothing I could do. I had to find this man. My job was dependent on it.

  It must’ve been at least five days in when I got to work and found the office manager, Julie, standing outside the back door with a thin cigarette pressed between her blood red lips. “I need progress,” she said when I walked up. “You still haven’t found the people that are doing this, and the tenants are starting to get worried. What is taking so long?”

  She was the kind of woman that lashed out if she wasn’t respected. She wanted me to say yes ma’am and be submissive, but I wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction. “They haven’t come yet, and I don’t have super powers.”

  “If you can’t do it, I can find somebody who will.”

  “If you’re that dumb, then you have no place being in a position of power. Nobody’s going to pull this guy out of their ass. I’ve come at this from every angle. All we can do is wait.”

  She threw her cigarette down and ground it against the pavement with her heel. “I fucking hate that you’re right.”

  “It sounds like you just have to find a way to relay the argument to whoever’s coming down on you.”

  “Bankers think money can solve everything. It’s all they care about. I’m not going to convince them of anything. Just stay awake. If you fall asleep, I’ll cut off your cock and feed it to you raw, you got that?”

  “You’re underestimating me.”

  “Good.” She lit another cigarette and walked off.

  I spent the entire night watching the cameras and going over the feeds. The only time the man showed up were the times that Fred had told me about. There was no more evidence for me to go over. All I could do was stare at the cameras, and I did so for two more nights, waiting for something to happen.

  When I got home the next morning, my mind was racing. I kept going over what I would do if I saw the guy and what I would say when I finally caught him. I went over everything I could, up until that final moment when the cops dragged him away. I couldn’t stop. I tried closing my eyes and falling asleep, but I kept going back to that moment, thinking about how wonderful it would be when this was finally over and I could go back to working days.

  The sun was shining through my blinds, so I turned away from the window and threw a pillow over my head to block out the light, but it wasn’t enough. My body was starting to feel the weight of staying up at night, and it was trying to get back at me.

  I ended up having to take a sleeping pill just so I could calm my mind long enough to get some rest. When I woke up, it was dark, and I was still stuck in a haze. When would this be over? I got up and started making my bed like I always did.

  Normally, I never missed a workout, but I was too tired and my head was hurting from the caffeine withdrawals, so I got dressed and headed out the door. A pair of lights hit me in the face, and I had to cover my eyes to see what was happening.

  Gillian was pulling into the driveway. I felt relief wash over me. She got out of her car and walked up, her arms crossed over her chest. “Hey,” she seemed subdued.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I just needed to see you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’ve been so worried. I can’t think. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see you bleeding out on the pavement. I can’t take it.”

  “I know. It’s been hard for me, too.”

>   “Dwayne, I think we need to take a break.”

  “What are you saying? No, Gillian…”

  She looked away. “I can’t keep worrying about you like this. It’s not healthy.”

  “It’ll be over soon.”

  “I’m sorry.” She walked back into her car and drove away. I wanted to go after her, but I knew that if I did, I’d just push her away. She had every right to be upset. If I was in her situation, I would’ve lost my mind a long time ago. I probably would’ve ended up driving to her work and dragging her out of there just so I could be sure that she was safe.

  I had to be fair to her and respect her decision, but how could I possibly do that feeling the way that I did? I kept thinking about what it was like to be on top of her, watching her throw her head back while I thrust myself inside her. All of the nights we’d spent together washed over me in an unbearable wave. I’d never get another chance to taste her lips or smell the sweet scent of her perfume.

  I tried to focus on driving, but there was no way I was going to get through this. I was completely broken. Gillian had changed my life. She took away my flashbacks and pulled me out of my shell. I was lost before I met her. I’d had no purpose, and these past few weeks, I’d been living for her. Now that she was gone, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

  The office manager was waiting outside smoking one of her ridiculously thin cigarettes when I pulled up. I got out to meet her. “This isn’t going to make things go any quicker.”

  “Yeah, well, fuck you, too.” She threw her cigarette down. “He was here.”

  “What?”

  “Earlier today. The little shit took out all our cameras with one swipe of his knife.” She pointed on bright red claw at the security console. The front of the black plastic box was open and there were wires sticking out.”

  “What about the contractors? Where’s Fred?”

  “He says they have to come in the morning.” She sounded like she wanted to punch a wall. “You’re patrolling the building on foot tonight.”

  “Are you going to be here? Do you want to put me on a leash and drag me around?”

  “You know what?”

  “What?”

  When she smiled, her teeth were bright yellow. “I like you. I think you can do this. Don’t fuck up and call me as soon as you find out something.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She walked off without another word. I went back up to the office, where all of the feeds had gone black, just like she said. I grabbed the mouse and turned back the cameras to nine in the morning, focusing only on the back lot.

  The office workers were standing around outside talking and smoking, some with obvious hangovers. Then they went inside and the lot was empty for two hours until somebody came out back to have a cigarette. When they walked back in, I caught a flash of black walking around the corner. I zoomed in and stopped the feed to get a better look.

  The sun was creeping under his hoodie, giving me a clear view of his bright red bald head. It was Jason.

  I laughed. It was just like Gillian had said. The fates were in love with irony. I spent years trying to get away from that man, only to find myself hunting him down.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Gillian

  I was the enforcer, the one who walked around the class making sure that the girls were paying attention, but I simply didn’t have the energy that morning. Instead, I leaned against the back wall and watched the girls as they went through their exercises.

  Finally, Lexie walked to the head of the room. “I am so proud of you girls. You’re all making amazing progress. We’re going to cut things off here for today, but I want you to keep practicing at home.”

  Beth turned around to face me, her hands on her hips. “You’re sad.”

  “I am not.”

  “Oh, yes, you are. You’re three sads. I can tell because you’re not dancing with us.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Did you lose your husband?” she asked.

  “He’s not my- No, I did not lose my husband.”

  “Where is he?” She walked closer. “He’s not here.”

  Her mother came up to grab her hand. “Come on, Beth.”

  “Find your husband, okay?”

  “Okay.” I felt myself tearing up.

  “No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you dare do that.” Lexie marched across the room while the mothers towed their children out.

  “Do what?”

  “Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you’ve been today. What did you do?”

  “What makes you think it was me?”

  “Because things were going well. There’s no reason for you to be upset, and he’s not dumb enough to sabotage things. You are.”

  “I hate you.” I walked to the corner of the room and grabbed my water bottle to take a drink.

  “What did you do?” she demanded as she followed me.

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Then, what’s wrong?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You’re just going to go on wallowing in self-pity.”

  “I decided to take a break.”

  “Hah!” She pointed her finger at me. “I knew it. Why would you do that? You were on top of the world.”

  “Do you have eyes?”

  “I sure do.”

  “Then you’ve seen the way I’ve been this past week. I worry every second of every day that he’s going to get hurt, and I can’t stop. I can’t keep going on like this. If I don’t detach, I’m going to go insane.”

  “It’s work, Gillian. It’s not like he’s abandoning you by choice for twelve hours a day. He can’t control this anymore than you can.”

  “That doesn’t make it any easier.” I took another drink of water and put my bottle back in my duffel bag.

  “It’s not fair to him.”

  “This isn’t fair to me.”

  “But you love him. I know you love him. Every time you think about him, you light up — I can literally see it. You smile and laugh. I’ve never seen you so happy. This man is good for you, Gillian, and you need to see that before you lose him completely.”

  “I feel like I have.”

  “Then, you’re shortsighted. How many times are you going to sabotage this?”

  “I know, Lexie. I feel terrible.”

  “Call him before he regains his senses.” She walked out into the lobby.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Dwayne

  I grabbed a donut from the convenience store shelf and slammed it down the counter. The cashier was a pimply-faced post-adolescent with yellow spiked hair and teeth to match. “That all?”

  “Yes.” I pulled out my card, and my phone started vibrating. “Hello?”

  “Howell, I just got done spending four hours trying to convince a group of Afghani policemen that they couldn’t smoke weed on the job. This’d better not be a joke.”

  “No, I called you because I need you, and you’re the only one that can help me.” I swiped my card and pressed the credit button, hoping to get out of there as fast as I could.

  “Are you sure that it was Harris? Have you been having flashbacks?”

  “It’s not a flashback. I’ve gone over it and over it. It’s him. I don’t what he’s doing, or why he’s doing it, but it’s him. Are you really all that surprised? The man is crazy.”

  “It’s out of nowhere.”

  “Do you have any idea why he would be doing this?” The receipt popped out of the register. I took it and walked back to my car.

  “No, I don’t, but I don’t like it. He’s an ex-SEAL. The man spent years learning to kill people. Can you imagine the kind of damage he could do running around like that? You need to take him down.”

  “That’s what I’m planning on doing, but I need to find him.”

  “I don’t think I can give you any information.”

  “You have to. You’re the only person that can help me.”

  “
Personal records are classified. I’m sorry.”

  My phone beeped and I got a text from an Afghani number that read, “You tell anyone and I will kill you. 435 Hartford.”

  “That’s alright,” I said. “I’ll find another way.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t be of any help. Let me know if you have any trouble.”

  “Yes, sir.” I waited for her to say that I was dismissed, then caught myself. “Thanks.” I hung up and called Fred.

  “Tell me something wonderful.”

  “I know who it is.”

  “You do? How’d you find that out?”

  “He’s my ex-partner from the SEALs. He’s dangerous, Fred. We need to find the man right away — before he starts blowing things up.”

  “How dangerous is he?”

  “SEAL,” I said slowly.

  “I get it. What are you going to do?”

  I wanted to tell him that I was going straight to the police, but I knew that I had to be fair. He’d always had my back. I would’ve been dead if it weren’t for him. Now I was ready to throw him in jail without finding out what was going on. I owed him more than that, regardless of how annoying he was. “I don’t want to go to the police right away. I need to find out what’s going on with him.”

  “Why? He destroyed our security console.”

  “I know how it sounds, but you have to understand, I’ve known this man for years, and he’s saved my life a thousand times. I don’t want to betray him before I know why he’s doing this.”

  “What if it doesn’t work, and he just comes back to do it again? I need this contract, and Julie’s already freaking out.”

  “I’ll deal with her.”

  “Really?”

  “You have to chew her out. She likes that. It’s… This is the right thing to do. Let me handle this. He looks up to me. I really think I can talk him down.”