Trailed

by Naomi Niles

  “No!” Beth pulled away and ran back to where Dwayne was sitting. He leaned in while she started talking to him. I wanted to tear him away. The girl had a mouth, but I didn’t want to be rude, so I watched for a second to make sure that she wasn’t saying anything too weird before I turned to her mom.

  “Beth is an amazing person. You should be more than proud. I just want you to know that.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I really mean that. I mean, every little girl dreams about becoming a ballerina, but they don’t do anything about it. At most, they might take a few classes, but they never follow through, not like her. This little girl, not only did she drag you down here to sign up, she’s doing what it takes to succeed. Most adults don’t have the discipline and determination she has, and I’m not sure you’re aware of the magnitude of what she did. Do you know how difficult it is to jump like that?”

  “No.”

  “She’s exercising, isn’t she? She has to be. People have to train their bodies and build up specific muscles just to stand like that. Jumping the way she did is really dangerous and not easy. I’ve never seen anyone as young as her do it.”

  “She found an old DVD in the basement. It’s killing me.”

  “See, don’t you dare discourage her in anything she does.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. You two have been amazing. I think she’s going to make it. She’s constantly practicing. She won’t stop; and the music,” she sighed. “I haven’t heard anything but classical for at least three months. I’m dreaming in violin.” We both laughed.

  “You know, I’m honored to have her as my student. Thank you for bringing her here.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I took a glance behind her and saw a swarm of designer dresses and expensive dye jobs closing in around Lexie. “I’ll be back.” I darted around Beth’s mom.

  “Who taught her that?” Lily Cho had taken her position as queen bee as soon as Mrs. Regis left, and she’d been leading the charge against Lexie.

  “I don’t know who taught her,” Lexie said.

  “Don’t give us that crap,” Cho accused. “We know you two have been favoring Beth this whole time.” The other mothers nodded their heads. “You taught her that in private.”

  “Why didn’t you teach my daughter to jump?” a blonde asked.

  “Cindy has been working so hard. Why would you do that to her?”

  “I paid just as much as Beth’s mother did.”

  “You’re going to show Jenny how to jump, and you’re doing it for free.”

  “I always knew you were incompetent.”

  “You’re a terrible teacher.”

  “We want our money back,” Cho demanded.

  “Ladies.” I pushed through the crowd to get to Lexie, who looked like she was ready to cry. “The reason your daughters don’t know how to jump up on their tiptoes and land on their tiptoes is because they are five and six years old and they haven’t developed their muscles yet.”

  “Are you saying that Beth is better than my daughter?” Cho asked.

  “Yes, Lily has two left feet and she can’t stand right.”

  “Excuse me?” Cho stepped up ready to fight.

  “Beth is the best dancer in class, and you’re all going to have to get over it. One student always shines more than the others.” They were ready to claw me apart. “But the reason she’s the best is because she doesn’t do anything but practice. Ask her mother, she’s been driving the woman crazy.

  “I didn’t teach her how to jump, neither did Lexie. I’ve never even seen anyone her age do that. I can barely do it. She taught herself, and if you don’t believe me, ask her. It doesn’t matter how much you freak out on us, if you want your daughters to be good, you’re going to have to get them to do the work.”

  I grabbed Lexie by the hand before they could attack, and I disappeared with her behind the curtain where Dwayne, Beth and her mother were already waiting.

  “I think it’s time to make our escape,” he said.

  “Ice cream!” Beth jumped up and down.

  “She wants us to invite you guys out for ice cream,” her mother explained.

  “Yes,” Lexie threw her head back. “That sounds amazing.”

  “But how do we clear the building?” I asked, concerned. “They’re probably ready to burn the place down.”

  “I got it.” Dwayne stepped out from behind the curtain, and I peeked out to watch. All he had to do was look at the women and they stopped talking and broke out of their huddle. “Ladies, it’s been wonderful having you here this evening.”

  “You don’t have to lie,” Cho said.

  “Then, I’m not going to. Get out and if you have a problem, don’t come back. If you want your children to learn, and you’re willing to be respectful, then you’re welcome to sign up for private lessons.”

  They bickered amongst themselves, but none of them had to gall to say anything to him, so they left. Lexie cornered me in back before we left. “What are you doing?” she asked. “They’re not coming back.”

  “Some will. I’m sure of it. Did you see the way they were asking you to teach their daughters to jump? They like you. They’re just neurotic.”

  “We’re going to lose business.”

  “Are you really willing to put up with this crap until you retire? You’ve got to draw the line somewhere. You’re going to get business no matter what, but you’re not going to get anywhere unless you demand some respect. I think that you’ll do better if you assert your authority with these women. They’re just like alpha males. They’ll shut up and deal with it and if they can’t, they’re not worth the trouble. You’ve got to remember that.”

  “It’s a risk.”

  “This whole place was a risk.”

  “You’re right,” she conceded.

  “Let’s go.”

  We ended our night laughing and walking around downtown with ice cream cones while Beth told us about how she was going to travel the world and be the best ballerina ever — four bests, she said.

  When Dwayne and I got back in the car, I demanded, “What did she tell you?”

  “I’m not telling.” He started the car.

  “Oh, no. You have to tell me this time. I’ll ground you.”

  “No, you won’t.” He pulled out of the lot and into downtown traffic.

  “Come on.”

  “Oh, alright.” He didn’t say anything after that.

  “Well?”

  “She told me that she was glad that your husband is back, and that I’d better stick around.”

  “What’d you tell her?”

  “That she’s the best ballerina I’ve ever ever seen.”

  I kissed him on the cheek. “You’re so sweet.”

  “I’ve decided something.” He pulled onto the freeway.

  “What’s that?”

  “I’m ending the dry spell. I want a girl.”

  “Nope, you’re grounded.” I swatted his hand away when he reached out to touch my thigh. I was just kidding, and he knew it.

  Epilogue

  “What do you think?” Dwayne turned to show me his crooked bowtie.

  “Here…” I made sure that it was straight.

  He leaned in and kissed me. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I stepped back to give him a full view of my bright red evening gown and turned slowly to show off my figure. He wrapped his arms around me when I turned my back and kissed me behind the ear. “Two years.” He pulled back. “Two fucking years.” He was really fond of saying it, and I loved hearing it.

  “Every single day I’m with you is another gift,” I said.

  “I’m just glad you’re finally getting a chance to meet her, Gillian. Jacobs is an amazing woman.”

  “Was she always your CO?”

  “No, only for the last three years, but she left an impression on all of us.”

  “I’ve always wondered how a woman got to her position. Do the SEALs even allow women?” I
grabbed my stilettos out from under the bed.

  “They said if they could pass the test, they could join. The joke was that they were certain that a woman couldn’t pass.”

  “When was this? 1970?”

  “The early 2000s.”

  “What?”

  “That’s what’s so amazing about it. The test that SEALs go through is so strenuous that they were convinced it’d be too difficult for a woman to do it. They said that women’s bodies had limits, and that the test pushed the body well beyond what they were capable of. She told them to go fuck themselves and took it anyway. Nobody could believe that she actually passed. It was such a disgrace that they almost refused her entry into the program.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “They had a hell of a time keeping it quiet, but she wasn’t gloating. She did it for the honor.”

  “I can’t believe that.”

  “She’s a badass bitch. I can’t believe she’s retiring. It’s a shame.”

  “She really liked you, didn’t she?” I put my shoes on and pulled my purse off the hook on the wall.

  “She couldn’t really show it officially, but there were little things.” We started walking out, and got into the car.

  “I’m excited.”

  “I am, too. I haven’t seen her since I left, and I know she’s been dying to meet you. I told her everything about you. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “No, she sounds like an amazing woman.”

  “She is.” Dwayne pulled out of the driveway, through the city streets and onto the freeway.

  “Dwayne,” I pointed at the sign that said, Exit 1. “I thought we were going to Lorenzos?”

  He hit the gas.

  “Dwayne? What’s going on?”

  He was about to hit a truck.

  “Dwayne?”

  He hit the blinker and swerve into the left lane to avoid it, then threw the car forward until we were behind a semi-truck. He whipped the car to the right, flew past it, and turned into the right lane.

  “What are you doing?”

  He took the next exit and stayed as quiet as possible as we drove through the quiet city streets. He didn’t answer no matter how much I pleaded with him, and I was starting to get scared. He was one of the most predictable men I’d ever met. The idea of him doing something like this terrified me.

  He threw the car into a space next to the shore of the river and turned to me. “Get out.”

  “What?”

  “Come on,” he opened my door.

  “Dwayne…”

  He got out and walked around so he could offer me his hand.

  “What is going on?” I refused to take it.

  “I thought you might like to take a walk with me by the river. That’s all.”

  I looked back at the water, then up at him. “We’re going to be late for dinner.”

  “No, we’re not.” He kept his hand held out.

  “Fine.” I took his hand and he led me closer to the sidewalk lining the water. The sun was setting behind the bridge. The sky spread out in bands of orange, rose, then indigo, and finally a navy blue, spotted with specks of light growing brighter by the minute.

  Dwayne dropped my hand and, I turned to watch the water lapping at the shore. “Gillian…” There was something in his tone.

  “What?” I turned around and covered my mouth. Tears were flying down my face. He was on one knee holding out a black, velvet ring box.

  “I know you’re hungry,” his voice broke, “and you’re probably eager to get to dinner.”

  “No.”

  “You haven’t let me finish yet.”

  “No,” I shuddered, “I mean, I don’t care about dinner.”

  “Good, because you’re the most amazing, beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You’ve brought me back from the edge of madness, taken a risk on me, and I want to spend the rest of my life thanking you for it. Will you marry me?”

  I reached down and pulled him up by the collar, then crashed our lips together. “Yes.” I kissed him again. “Dear God, yes.” I kissed him again, and this time he reached back and nudged my head forward, so he could take control. I barely noticed when he took my hand and slipped the ring on until I looked down and saw it.

  “Come on,” he said and motioned for me to follow him to the car.

  “I thought you said we weren’t going to be late.”

  “I lied.” He hopped in.

  When we got to the restaurant, I noticed his back stiffen, his shoulders rolled back and his movements went stiff. I wasn’t sure to make of it at first, but as we walked through the lot, I realized that it was a sign of respect for a person that he honored.

  The waiter led us out onto the back patio where a middle-aged woman was sitting in back. She caught my eye immediately. She wasn’t stiff or mean looking. Her lips weren’t pursed. She was casual, graceful, and extremely well composed. I noticed when we got closer that her short black hair was perfectly arranged, not one single hair out of place.

  She stood up, smiling, and said, “Dwayne, you look ridiculous. At ease.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Jacobs, this is my fiancée, Gillian.”

  “Fiancée? I thought you said she was your girlfriend.” Jacobs looked at me and nodded her head. “You just proposed, didn’t you?”

  He nodded.

  “Hey,” she called out to the waiter behind me. He turned around, shocked that she was calling out. “Bring us your best merlot.”

  He nodded and ran off.

  “Sit down. Sit down.”

  Dwayne pulled out my chair so I could take a seat and gave me a look of sheer satisfaction. “I was surprised when you called me,” he said. “I can’t believe you left.”

  “It was time. I’d been holding onto my sanity for so long. I couldn’t keep up the struggle any longer, and it started to lose its luster. The war was a sham from the beginning,” she said. “We all know that, and we weren’t making any difference. I got tired of it.”

  “Was there ever a time when you believed in it?” Dwayne asked.

  “Of course. When I saw how they lived, and what the Taliban was doing to the people — we had to do something.”

  “But what changed?”

  “Nothing changed.” The waiter brought out the bottle and poured our drinks. When he walked away, she began again.

  “We were there to help them, but they didn’t want our help. They wanted us to leave, so they kept trying to kill us. Then of course, we had to retaliate; we just kept going back and forth until it was too tense for us to even be there. I’m glad I got out when I did, things are getting ugly – but enough about that. I want to know about Harris.”

  Dwayne took a drink of his wine. “He’s doing well. The DA dropped the charges and reduced them to one count of assault and battery. He should be out next year. I went to visit him last month and he said that he hasn’t been having any flashbacks.”

  “Is it the medication?” Jacobs asked.

  “It doesn’t look like it. He’s sharp and hasn’t gained any weight. He looks like he’s come back to himself.”

  “I’m so glad to hear that,” she said. “Why did he do it, Dwayne? You never told me.”

  He swished his drink around, took a sip, then swished it around a little more. “You want to know where he went?”

  “I do.”

  “Why?” He sounded unsettled.

  “Because I didn’t like having him there, to be honest with you. I’ve had my concerns about a lot of men, but he’s the one that worried me the most. He was strong and capable, but mentally, I didn’t think he could handle the war, and it scared me. I tried to harden him up. You saw.” Dwayne nodded. “But it didn’t work.”

  “I think he was probably better than most of us,” he said after a moment.

  “Why?”

  “It takes a certain kind of person to do the kinds of things we did without it getting to your head. We all felt the shock one way or the other. It’s like you told me that you use
d to have flashbacks.”

  Jacobs nodded.

  “But we all did what we knew we had to do, even if we couldn’t stand it.”

  “You knew that I’d have to court-martial you if you didn’t follow orders. I didn’t have a choice.”

  “But that’s where it gets murky. At some point, we saw following orders as the right thing to do. We didn’t question things. We were patriots doing our duty. Even when it got hard, and we felt like we simply couldn’t do what we were asked, we still did what we were told because we knew the consequences.

  “Jason didn’t care about that. He wanted to do the right thing, and he was willing to risk anything to do that. I think that’s why he was so sensitive. He had a stronger moral compass than the rest of us, and he couldn’t move past it.”

  “I remember when he was standing in my office, begging me to let him stay back, the time I sent you out after those kids.”

  Dwayne nodded.

  “I wanted to run around the desk and shake him and say, ‘What are you doing here?’ I think at that point, I realized that he was going to crack, so I put in his orders for discharge. I’ll bet that’s where he goes when he has flashbacks.” Dwayne didn’t confirm or deny it. Something told me that he didn’t think Jason would want him to say, but Jacobs knew. “I didn’t think they’d send you back, though.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t say anything, but I was worried.”

  “You didn’t have to worry,” I said. “Dwayne doesn’t see it, but I know that he would’ve been fine.”

  “No,” Jacobs said. “It was you. I could tell from the moment I saw you. He was a completely different person when he was in my unit. He was stiff and mean, even aggressive, though he didn’t show it much.”

  “I was not.”

  “Me and some of the guys used to take bets on how long it would take for you to punch Jason.”

  “What?”

  “Did he do it?” I asked.

  “No, never. See, that’s the kind of man he is. He couldn’t stand Jason half the time. The rest of the time he was just being nice – and trust me, that was a chore – but he knew Jason was vulnerable. He rarely said a rude word to him because Jason couldn’t take it. That’s not something most men can do. They don’t see that far. They act on their emotions.”