I nod my head a few times, agreeing without saying the actual words. “I need to get some sleep.”
When I stand she watches me. I half expect her to follow me but she doesn’t. In the bathroom, I step into a hot shower, hoping the beads of water will not only wash away the sweat from my adventure, but also the stress of fearing that everything is screwed up.
My eyes are closed and I’m leaning forward, the pressure of the water massaging my neck. I expect to be on edge, especially entrusting someone I just met with my child, but the past couple hours were torture.
I’m grateful.
My daughter is going to be okay. She’s safe. Sleeping. I can breathe again.
The sound of the door opening surprises me. I assume I’m about to get some much needed company, but the curtain never moves. Looking out the side, I see Sadie standing with her arms crossed, leaning back like she’s waiting for me to acknowledge her. “You all right?”
“I was coming to ask you the same thing. I’m not an expert on men by any means, but you’re struggling, Rogan.”
I roll my eyes and get back to showering while I reply. “Ryan. We need to start calling each other by our new names.”
“Fine, Ryan, you need to chill the fuck out.”
I smirk, though she’s unable to see it. Of course she’s going to give me shit, because she didn’t go through hell for the past several hours. “I’m trying to. It’s kind of difficult when I’ve got someone breathing down my neck about it,” I taunt, while peeking out of the curtain to see her reaction.
The corner of one side of her lip contorts, a hint of a smile lingering. I watch her tongue dragging across the inside of her cheek, like she’s wondering how to respond back.
“I was thinking about joining you, but since I’m a bother I’ll go back to bed.”
Etherly used to play these same sort of head games, so since I’m aware what she’s trying to do I let her walk out of the bathroom to stew. We’ve had two hot encounters, one at least was mutual. We’ve spent days talking about our lives, and shared in the excitement and fear of starting over. She clearly knows what I’m going through, and at least cares enough about my daughter to bring her safely back to me.
She’s young, witty, and beautiful, which makes it hard to resist wanting some kind of intimate connection with her. While I rinse the soap from my body I imagine what she must be thinking. Women don’t like to feel rejected, in fact, it sometimes makes them crazy. I chuckle to myself as I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist.
Wiping the steam from the mirror, I take a good look at the man I’ve become. My thick black hair is growing like a weed, and since the sides were shaved recently it makes it appear longer than it is. My beard has come in thick, but keeping it even on both sides makes it look natural and stylish. My dark eyes are tired, and I swear I’ve lost more weight even though I don’t have a scale to check.
Stress. It’s like a powerful weapon, set to wreak havoc on a gentle soul. I’m not perfect, but I certainly didn’t do anything to deserve this sort of suffering. I’m almost home free. Making it across the border will be one of the happiest days of my life, and it’s time I learned to be optimistic about it.
Giving myself one final once over, I brush my teeth and head to bed, hoping Sadie hasn’t moped herself to sleep.
The room is dark. I've put my sexual desire on hold in order to focus on getting my daughter back and finding a way to escape the country. Even though Steve suggested I find someone to use to make the plan easier, I never put too much thought into it. It’s bad enough I was on the run with a toddler, but to involve an innocent person in the mix would be cruel. I've made mistakes, but I'll be damned if I endanger someone out of selfishness.
I never claimed to be a hero, nor will I pretend I'm not afraid of being caught every single day, but I do know one thing for sure. In a few days it's possible that we will make it to Costa Rica. There's a good chance Mila won't have to go a day without me in her life. As much as that knowledge makes me smile, another part of me yearns for the possibility of a real human connection.
She's quiet on the opposite side of the bed as I enter and pull on a pair of boxers to sleep in. Reaching the side I sleep on, I find Mila rolled to the edge. After putting a pillow up to prevent her from rolling off the mattress, I take a few deep breaths and go for what finally feels right.
Sadie is still as I reach her side of the bed. My fingertips slither through her ebony toned hair, grabbing her attention immediately. Her eyes flutter open, her body sitting up like she's alarmed. I hear a word starting to escape her lips and cover them with my fingers. When I know she's silent, I take her by the hand and pull her to her feet. Looking down into her eyes, I bring my lips close, testing the waters by simply brushing them gently with my own. She's still, almost shaking. I can still smell a hint of her soap or shampoo from her earlier shower. It takes my breath away; the mere thought of her being naked, back in that towel and offering herself to me.
I don’t deserve this beauty, albeit I’m not about to neglect my needs any longer.
Sadie takes control, twisting us around without warning and shoving me up against the wall to the bathroom. She drags her fingernails lightly down the center of my chest with both hands, all while watching me in the pale light coming in through the curtains. I grab at her hair, pulling it back to match her reaction. Her teeth glisten as she smiles, right before we crash into a heated kiss.
I can’t get enough of the way her tongue moves with mine. We’re in sync, as if we’ve been doing this for years. I’m comfortable and nervous at the same time. After promising to love one woman forever, I’m now in a predicament where I don’t have a choice. Etherly is dead, and while my heart still aches for her, I’m falling victim to what I’ve gone without. This woman helped me. I want to repay her with the only thing I have to offer – myself.
Her hand shoves down inside of my shorts, an abrupt action that sends shooting electrodes throughout every single limb. As she grips onto my shaft, Sadie’s lips brush over mine, her long tongue coming out to lick and taunt me. I’m already prepared to give this chick anything she could ask for tonight, but with one small complication.
We have no bed. I won’t move my child just because I want to get freaky in the sheets with someone, so I do what I think is the best alternative. Picking up her petite framed body, I carry her toward the bathroom to sit her ass down on the hard vanity top. A set of bare legs wrap around me, pulling me closer. Both of my hands tangle in her hair as her mouth captivates me once more. My erection beckons to be tamed, reminding me that I’m probably not going to last very long. Her thighs keep me trapped, which is exactly where I want to be. The smooth of Sadie’s tongue begs for attention. I suck it into my mouth and become engulfed in another bout of deep kissing. My hands introduce themselves to uncharted places, and when one of them courses over the base of her smooth pussy she gasps as a trace of wetness remains on my knuckles. A groan escapes me. I’m getting more turned on by the minute, giving her a nudge from my unpleasantly stiff dick. Throwing her head back against the mirror, I get a perfect view of two matching supple breasts. My face drives toward them like metal to a magnet, sucking the first one in between my teeth and savoring the salty flavor of her innocent skin. My cock is surrounded by a warm hand that begins to stroke it. I’m sweating, my body shaking, all while her gentle touch give me pleasure.
Then I hear something that snaps me out of the moment.
A cry, more like a whimper.
Pushing myself away from an intense moment, I pull my shorts back on and come around the corner to find Mila sitting up on the mattress. I flick on the bedside light and see that cute bottom lip protruding as she pouts. Her cheeks are flushes and I can tell she still doesn’t feel well. “Daddy’s here, baby.”
Sadie comes out of the bathroom and fetches a bottle of water out of a mini fridge. She hands it to me so that I can offer it to my sick little one. “Drink this. It will make you feel be
tter.”
Mila sips a couple times and leans her body into mine. She’s not as warm as before, but just as a precaution I have Sadie grab some children’s Tylenol out of my bag. Most of the time doctors prescribe alternating it with Motrin to keep a fever from spiking, especially overnight.
Mila fights with me about taking the medication. A part of me hopes she’ll always feel that way about any kind of drug, because I know how hard an addiction can be. As she falls back asleep against my chest, I stare over at Sadie, who is dressed in only a bra and panties. I can’t deny how much I want her, but I’m almost happy Mila prevented us from being together. Instead of thinking with my dick, I need to consider my daughter first. I can’t be with someone who has drug problems. It’s as simple as that.
Chapter 15
It’s morning. Mila has managed to sleep throughout the night, but as a precaution we’ve decided to stay another day in Louisiana so that she is able to recuperate. Sadie gets up early and heads out to grab us something to eat, while I remain at the hotel to nurse my little girl back to health.
As soon as Mila realizes Sadie is gone she begins searching the small room for her.
“Where her go, Daddy?”
“Who? Sadie? Err, Rana? Do you like Rana?” It’s important we keep feeding her the new names to use, both for her benefit and our own. It needs to become a habit so that we never slip and cause trouble for ourselves.
“Sadie,” she repeats.
“We need to call her Rana, okay?”
She’s confused, and since she doesn’t feel well I decide to give it a rest. Turning on the television seems like a good idea, especially if I can find some cartoons. I no sooner begin to start searching through channels when I come to a national news station and see the picture.
There’s no way it’s possible. It can’t be.
My eyes can’t be deceiving me, even though I don’t want to believe this is true.
The picture doesn’t do her justice.
Approximately five days ago the victim was found shot and bleeding out. A neighbor says they witnessed the daughter, pictured, fleeing the scene before authorities arrived. The victim was pronounced dead of a single gunshot wound upon arriving to the hospital. Virginia Police Department is now asking for your help in locating this missing teen. Her whereabouts are unknown at this time, and because she is a minor, the FBI has stepped in to assist.
While I stare at the picture listening to the reporter, another representative flips on the screen. It’s an officer in full uniform doing a press conference.
We have reason to believe the young woman is the prime suspect. Evidence collected at the scene indicates long-term abuse which may have lead to this altercation becoming violent. If anyone has any leads, please contact the number on the screen. Police are asking that you refrain from conversing with the suspect as she may still be armed and dangerous.
The latch of the door causes me to change the channel. I want to assume this is a mistake, but the way she came into my life, the old house off the beaten path, her wanting to run away too, it all makes sense. She’s been using a passport of someone older, and I thought it was so that she could flee the country, but now I’m not so sure.
I’m sick to my stomach as she nonchalantly comes in and starts distributing the food on the long dresser. With her back turned to me I get Mila situated and search the room for anything I can use as a weapon if she figures out I’m onto her.
I can’t believe I let this person take my child without me, and on top of that, the police say she’s a minor. I almost committed statutory rape.
A breakfast sandwich is being handed to me, and it’s difficult to take it and not make eye contact with Sadie. I’m terrible at hiding my feelings, so it’s only a matter of time before she asks what the hell is going on.
We eat in practical silence, all of us staring at a cartoon show Mila is fixated on. My stomach is in knots as I force myself to ingest the food I no longer crave. This is a catastrophe. I thought I’d met someone who could help us. I actually started to like her. I felt like I was finally able to trust her, and now this.
It’s all been lies. No wonder she couldn’t go after the reward money for turning me in. She knew she was a suspect in a murder. What else could she be hiding from me?
Knowing I don’t have means of transportation, and the fact that we’re sharing a small room, I’m aware escaping will be difficult. I’ll have to have my things organized and ready to go, and make my move when she’s showering or sound asleep.
Minor…
It just keeps repeating over and over in my head. I touched her. I put my hands in places they didn’t belong. I almost had intercourse with his chick.
By lunch time we’re all antsy, especially me. I’m afraid if I let her control the remote she’ll see the news ticker on the bottom of the national station and know her secret is out. I fear for my daughter’s safety and worry about how this girl is going to react when the jig is up.
While Mila naps, Sadie waltzes over in my direction, climbing onto my lap in an erotic way. Ever since hearing that she lied about her age, I’m turned off completely. She tries to kiss me, but I pull away, motioning to Mila being so close.
Sadie stands and starts pulling me, like she wants us to go somewhere we can have privacy. When I refrain, she drops her hold and sulks. “What’s wrong with you today, Rogan?”
“Nothing. I’m tired and frustrated we’re losing time, that’s all.”
“Today is my birthday,” she announces. “Come celebrate with me.”
“Birthday?” I question. “You said it was next week.”
“Same difference. It’s today.”
“Are you twenty or twenty-one?”
I can tell she’s about to lie to me from the way her face contorts. She bites down on her lip and leans against the wall, crossing her arms as she does it. “Actually, there’s something I should probably tell you.”
“What?” I act as if I have no clue.
“I lied to you about something. It’s nothing huge, but you’re probably going to freak out anyway, not that it makes any difference now.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m only eighteen,” she says abruptly. “I kind of lied to you when we first met. I mean, I felt bad about it, but didn’t think it mattered. Then when we became friends I didn’t want to piss you off and make you feel like you couldn’t trust me.”
What she’s saying makes sense, but I already know more than she’s willing to lead on. “Wow.” I scratch my head; going through the motions like this is all a shock. “You were going to…We were…” I can’t even say it her face.
She giggles, as if this isn’t a huge deal. “Yeah. I’ve been with older guys before. It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?” I reiterate. “It’s huge for me. I just lost my wife. I’m not about to have sex with a minor, Sadie. That’s not something I’d do.”
“You would have.”
“I was told you were older.”
“Don’t be pissed. I’m eighteen now. No laws are being broken.”
I decide to use something else against her to make this separation easier. “Listen, not that it has anything to do with your age, but I’ve been thinking. I need to start over fresh when I make it to Costa Rica. I want Mila to grow up without the knowledge that I used to pop pills for fun. I don’t want her growing up seeing drugs around her. I hope you can understand that I have her best interest in mind.”
She shrugs. “That’s cool. I can still help. I mean, I know I told you I was into drugs and exploration, but the most I’ve ever done was smoke a little weed, and to be honest it gave me a huge headache.”
“What? Wait a minute. I saw you pop pills the first night we met. You told me you stole from your dealer. Are you saying you lied about that too?”
“It gave me a reason to stick around, didn’t it? Besides, you needed me. I helped you out.”
“Y
es, but I have a child to consider.”
“Wouldn’t you rather know that I’m clean?”
“What about the pill you took?” I inquire.
“Tylenol, the generic kind. You know, the uncoated cheap version? I can’t believe I had you fooled.” While she thinks this is some kind of joke, I grit my teeth feeling like I want to scorn her. I feel betrayed, even though I don’t deserve to voice an opinion as far as being a criminal. I’ve done heinous things, but never killed someone.
“If you didn’t steal drugs then why are you running? What did you do, Sadie?”
She looks down and fidgets with her hands, shrugging like she’s uncomfortable to talk about it. “It’s true. I didn’t steal drugs, or even sleep with someone to get them. What I did might seem way worse, especially to you being a parent and all.”
“You know I can’t allow you to come with us if you can’t be honest with me. I’m pretty pissed off right now that you’ve been feeding me lies since the moment we met. Maybe you should have turned me in and taken the money.”
Sadie shakes her head. “It wouldn’t have worked. You were right. They’d require my name, and I wouldn’t be able to give it.”
“So you’ve obviously gotten yourself into trouble. Care to finally be honest about it? Come on, Sadie, I’m running from the law. What could you have done that’s so bad you can’t tell me? Haven’t you learned I’m not the enemy? I mean, Jesus Christ I let you take my daughter. Do you have any idea how I feel now that I know you lied to me?”
“I’m sorry,” she quickly replies.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it unless you start explaining what the hell you’re hiding from me, and now!”
“You sound like my father,” she mumbles.
I wonder if she means it like she’s going to kill me like she did him. Immediately I begin to worry about the safety of Mila, even though I can see that Sadie only holds a drink in a plastic cup, which is hardly a weapon.
The Wrong Side of Rock Bottom Page 11
