Monochrome My Madness

by Ashleigh Giannoccaro

  Neil is going to make me kill him quicker than I wanted to. Warrick, I can tell, is just a puppet, and I will have no problem with him if Neil is gone, but I don’t plan to take chances. They will both be eliminated from the picture. My pop didn’t teach them too much it seems. They only rode on his wave and now they have to work. Something I can tell they still expect me to do, that’s the reason they want me here. They need me to keep the cash cow alive.

  Fuckers, I swallow the whiskey down quickly savouring the burn as it flows down my throat smoothly. I need to go find a decent place to stay, that manky flat that Neil chose for me will not cut it any longer. A hotel will do for now, I will look for houses soon. I shoot a filthy look at my brothers before I leave; I will not let them dictate to me how to live my life. I tell Art to take my youngest two half siblings home they are acting like idiots. The whiskey has taken the edge off I can feel my muscles unwinding and the fierce need to beat them all to death is pacified with each sip. My mind still focuses on every detail, each twitch or frown. Every single little clue any one of them lets me see without even knowing. I scan the room one last time before I leave, catching Neil’s eye our mutual hate stops me from even nodding goodbye I just turn and walk away. I hate him with every bone in my body.

  Outside the rain has stopped, and the air is cold it is dark and the milky light from the street lamps make the shadows seem alive. Around the corner, a row of taxis awaits the drunken men who will stumble out of the pub the rest of the night. I slip into the back of one and ask him to take me to Ardmore hotel on the outskirts of Glasnevin closer to the city. I could use a good night in a clean bed to clear my head. Tomorrow my associates from Dubai will start arriving, and I need to be in the right frame of mind.

  Sahib has already called me twice, and I let the calls go to voice mail. I also have missed calls from Rowan and Lauri. My heart hurts as I block their numbers and delete them from my contacts. I have to keep them a secret. I don't want them to know who I really am. They are all I will have left once I silence my demons, and I will need them. They are part of what comes next, after the carnage I plan here.

  .

  THE HOTEL SUITE FEELS MORE LIKE home than the disgusting flat did, and I am getting comfortable here. It’s been two weeks since I moved myself in here the staff even greet me by name when I pass through the lobby. I haven’t seen Doctor Shannon again and I am hoping my brothers have left her alive. They need a doctor, so I don’t see them offing her too quickly, but Neil wants her close to me, and it makes me nervous. He pushes the issue every time we meet, what a respectable wife she would make, how she would be ideal for me because she has her own work to keep her busy when I am working. The list goes on and on; I cannot say I haven’t thought about it, but I don’t want or need a wife certainly not now. I need to put her out of my mind and focus on why I came here, but those green eyes haunt my every thought and creep into my dreams. She has taken the place of my nightmares.

  I have fucked the tarty girl who works behind the bar downstairs a few times to try and distract myself. But she doesn’t do it for me she is way too weak and she squeals and cries when I hurt her. Not only will it attract too much attention, but it turns me off completely my demons come to life in the bedroom. I don’t need another dead chick in my bed. She stomped off in a huff after I restrained her with my belt; you would swear I had tried to kill her. I like my woman a little tougher, they need to take what I dish out and be quiet about it unless I ask them otherwise. I am an asshole to women; I have been for years, and it keeps me safe and sane. Back home I had a steady supply of office staff and secretaries to service my needs, but here it's slim pickings. You see here people know who I am, and any self-respecting woman’s mother has warned her to stay far, far away from all the O’Reilly boys. Me included. I have to hurt them so they can't hurt me. I will have to find someone or somewhere to fill this burning need.

  I have an early meeting with two of our diamond suppliers, by suppliers I mean smugglers, and then I have to meet with my brothers. My plans are falling nicely into place, and my allies are arriving slowly to help me clean things up. Yesterday Neil’s oldest son had a car accident; you see I can’t have his precious heirs hanging around when I want to be king. The next person on my little cleaning sheet is a cousin who has risen in the family ranks of late and cannot be trusted to follow instructions as it is. The family believe that the deaths, accidents and business interruptions are all the same men that killed our father, they are not wrong; they just suspect the wrong man. They believe I am in as much if not more danger than they are. Fools. I am going to wipe them out - every single one of them must die. I get excited and my pulse races at the thought of their dead bodies being buried next to my Pop.

  I am wearing my standard custom made and fitted suit, always black or grey no fancy coloured tie or new age hippie coloured vest. The expensive fabric clings to my large frame, I am thankful that the hotel has a state of the art gym and the small boxing gym a few blocks away is proving to be my new sanctuary. The sound of fists pummelling flesh is intoxicating the smell of sweat and manliness makes me want to stay there all day. You see before I left this shitty place nearly twenty years ago, I had some less than healthy habits, I was juicing all the time and I had a crush on a girl called Blow. When I moved neither of these was easy to come by. As the new guy in town, no one trusted me enough to sell to me so I replaced them with new habits. One being gym at least three hours a day and sugar, every time that snowy angel calls my name I eat sweets instead. Lauri says I will get diabetes, but even that is safer than the alternative.

  Over the last two weeks, I have changed a few things for myself; there is a sleek new Mercedes waiting for me outside, unlike the rest of the family I do not plan to be inconspicuous. I am not hiding what I have worked for, what is the point of all the money we have if we just keep it hidden? I slip behind the wheel of my new car and feel better about my day instantly. I don’t need a car here as everything is pretty close by, and taxis would suffice, but they are dirty, and I could bear them no more. They also have drivers who in all likelihood are on my brother's books, making them a threat to my plan. No, I like driving myself where I need to be. I like my new car - very much. It is like sex on wheels.

  I park on the red line in front of the office building where my father worked from, ‘O’Reilly Shipping and Forwarding’ written boldly across the front of the impressive building. Any peeler walking this block works for the family, and they won’t be towing or ticketing my car unless they have a death wish.

  My North African diamond associates are waiting inside already, time to put on my game face and get this deal done quickly. The two men are complete opposites. The one with the power is a small short man, his skin is the colour of dark chocolate and is well weathered from the harsh African sun and the stresses of his trade. His eyes bulge out of his face and seem to be set too far apart making him look as shifty as his reputation. His watchdog standing six feet tall next to him but muscle bound and imposing. He is much younger than his boss and is just here to keep the little man safe. They are both dressed in designer suits and shiny dress shoes and smell of too much cologne, a trait I find disgusting but very common among the new money in Africa. They also do this to cover their revolting lack of personal hygiene. To them, the cologne is the same as a bath or shower. It's fucking disgusting; they smell of sour sweat and perfumes. I gag at the smell.

  These men don’t intimidate me, you see they need me more than I need them crooked diamond dealers are a dime a dozen. Moving those dirty diamonds is where my skills come in. He trades me diamonds for arms and drugs to keep his slaves in line. I sell his diamonds to the Arabs for people, you heard right people who are then sold or traded to other parts of the world where we have thriving drug manufacturing and distribution works. They become workers in our factories, or get sold to sex traders in exchange for them keeping their ladies hooked on our meth, blow or whichever candy they like. You see I have changed my father’s sm
all minded drug business into a global criminal network, an empire that I intend to rule as king. There is no chance in hell I am leaving my brothers to reap the rewards of my work. I made this business the money printing machine that it is, and it will be mine. I will not share; they never shared with me. They took everything.

  The man, with no name, we keep things impersonal that way it’s quick to conclude the deal. I only know the names I really need to know, like Sahib. This guy doesn’t like traveling outside of Africa and was not impressed that I was off the continent. He leaves me with 85 carats worth of uncut diamonds stolen from the Lesotho highlands and another 60 carats of cut diamonds from his mining operations in North Africa. I lock them in a safe in my make shift office and walk my guests out of the building. I shake his sweaty hand and agree to meet with him again in two weeks. He is visibly irritated by the fact he has to travel again, huffing out a loud sigh and moaning about the cost of flights and the risk of transporting the gems that way. There is no alternative right now; I just glare at him as he rants about it, and I know he will come back no matter how much he moans about it. As they two men slip into a taxi and disappear, I turn to walk back into the building to go speak with Neil. I wonder what his meeting is about today; he wants to be in the loop, he will never be in the loop. Pretty soon, the loop will not include any of them at all. The loop will be me - and maybe, just maybe her. I never imagined the fresh-faced eighteen-year-old girl that watched as I left Cassie’s room would turn into the woman I have seen. She was just a teenager, so much younger than us. She was quiet and shy. She was broken, hiding all her darkness away. She kept my secret all this time.

  Neil has claimed my father’s office for himself, not that I care, I want nothing from my dad. He never wanted me. I did everything in my power to impress him, to prove myself, but the fact was I reminded him of my mother and no hard work, or good deed would ever change that fact. My father hated me. He detested the fact that I even existed. I was one of the bastards, one of many, we all worked hard gave our lives and souls for him, but we would never be more than dirty marks tarnishing his image. I plan to use that to my advantage now, us, the bastards will be the ones the world fears. In my father's eyes, Mirrie's children were the golden ones, even when he wasn't faithful to her he favoured her. Me, Amya and Harmon -the bastards - we will be the only ones left when I am done. My father took care of most of his other bastards already.

  The office already smells of Neil’s stale smoke making my skin crawl and my collar too tight as I breathe in the sour air. I join him and Warrick at the small meeting table in the corner of the office, Warrick is ruffling through papers, he clearly doesn’t have a clue what to do with them. He looks flustered, and he licks his lips every three seconds, he is jonesing, stupid idiot he has a habit. I can use that to my advantage later. People with habits have 'accidents' all the time, no one will even question his untimely death.

  “I don’t understand all this finance bullshit; didn’t Pop have someone who deciphered this for him?” Warrick is still wading through the papers, my brothers never took the time out of the leisurely lives to learn about business. I, on the other hand, wasted a lot of my free time and money getting my MBA. If I am my accountant, no one needs to know the ins and outs except me. I have been doing the company finances for years now. These two fools apparently believe Pops was doing it all. They will believe anything because they know nothing.

  “You two need to learn about the business, how are you going to keep shit running if you cannot even read the finance reports? You could be broke, and you wouldn’t know until you were out on your asses.” I add my two cents worth just to stir them up a little. I am enjoying the mind games, I live to torture others. “Pop didn’t trust accountants, he did this shit himself, you two could learn from that. Accountants need to be paid to do the job and paid again to be quiet about it. How is it that I was the wayward son, but I am the only one who has a fucking clue of what’s going on? What exactly do you two do?” I am poking at the fire now, and I can see Neil is losing his cool. The little boy is coming out to play again, only now I am bigger than him and he hasn't got his mommy to save him from my monsters. No one will lock me in the cellar to keep him safe. He will never be safe from me.

  “Well Callum, that’s why you are here, we do other business. I want you to stay on top of things and report to me like you did to Pop.” His snippy tone is childish, and I can tell he is merely reacting. “I never reported to Pop; he knew what was going on in his empire Neil, so should you.” I am over playing with them for today. I reach over and snatch the papers away from Warrick. “I will look these over you fucking idiot. We can have a meeting later this week. Try not fucking the whole business up before then.”

  I retreat back to my new office; I know nothing will go wrong because I am running things. Those two need to go and soon. Warrick first, he will be easy Art works for me, and I have a plan to eliminate him quickly and easily now that I know he uses our merchandise.

  I have been assigned a bodyguard or whatever you would like to call him, his job is to report to Neil what I am doing. Thing is he has worked for me for years already and is as loyal as you get. Arthur, or Art has been my eyes and ears here a long time; we were friends before I left and remained friends after I set this plan in motion. Art has followed me into the office and sits quietly in the corner as he always does; he is “keeping me safe” from the men who murdered my Pop. He cannot possibly save me from myself though; it's too late for that.

  “Who gets Warrick his blow - who drops it off?” I ask him as I gaze out the windows over the dirty city. It's taking all my willpower, not to just leave this place. I hate the grey that settles over this place and me while I am here. “I know his boys they fetch and deliver for him, Neil isn’t aware of his issues I think he chooses not to be.” Art replies very matter of fact. “Neil is fucking blind; I noticed he was jonesing after three seconds in a room with him. He is a road block we need to eliminate, and his blow is how. Make sure the next batch is not clean. By that, I mean dirty enough that he dies quickly.” Art looks me in the eyes and nods before he answers. “Not a problem boss, that’s easy to arrange I will get one of my boys on it today.” He starts to put his jacket on. I contemplate how little I know about my family, my hate clouded my need for knowledge.

  “Art what else should I know about my brothers? Have I missed anything?” I wonder how much I need to know. I don't want to know anything about them, but I may need to find out more than I want to.

  “Neil has a liking for whores, and his wife would kill him if she could, she isn’t even in the city she left after your father's funeral, she spends her time in London now. Has a toy boy over there some soccer player. He is a very insecure man but shouldn’t be underestimated he has influential connections. He knows nothing about you personally and it scares him shitless because he does know that you are running the business, and he can’t unless you show him how. I think he plans to eliminate you once he has enough control.” I laugh at the silly notion of Neil learning from me, he is too short sighted. You cannot teach the stupid out of someone. He inherited his dimwits from his mother. She had the brain of a goldfish but the body of a whore. She also had a heart of coal, black bitter and fragile.

  “Go deal with Warrick and let me worry about Neil. And Art, let me know when it is done.” I say to Art as he puts his jacket back on. “Art, be discreet about who does this.” He nods and retreats from the office. He is not a man of many words, but he is a loyal man and that’s all I need.

  IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEKS since Callum left me standing in my waiting room feeling a strange hum in my chest and the sharp sting of his rejection. He hasn’t even contacted me; Neil is unimpressed but with the accidents, deaths and business interruptions I am the least of his worries. We will have another funeral soon for his eldest son. Now that his body has been released to the family. I know that in this business accidents are never just accidents, and his son’s death was a warning shot. This famil
y is in danger, and I can feel the fear dripping off of every single one of them. It is more than that the talons of death are sinking into the flesh of this family.

  The surgery is quiet this morning I have had a few walk in’s with a cold or another everyday complaint. No bullet wounds or stabbings today, I like days like today. I know that one of the thugs will come in to “check” on me later on, but for now I enjoy a moment of simple admin work at my little desk. My receptionist Megan, who is an O’Reilly, sits behind her counter swinging on her chair playing candy crush on her iPad waiting for the phone to ring or the door to chime. The monotony of the surgery has extinguished her fire too. She is a lovely young woman in her twenties, I think she is a cousin, I am not sure I was just instructed to give her a job. She is useless at it, but I can’t argue that I need someone to answer the phones. She seems too innocent to be one of them.

  I spend a little time organising my office safe and the scheduled drug cabinet; I am fidgety and unsettled today; I have that feeling of doom that something bad is going ruin my day. Something always does. Megan, who is of course also bored, comes and stands at the door of my office. “So what happened to that doctor who took you out last month? He was a hottie; I haven’t even seen him at the coffee place is he avoiding you? Because he was there every day.” Her world revolves around who I am dating; the doctor was splendid looking, but I have had my fun and discarded of him already. I don’t think he will be at the coffee shop anytime soon after what I did to him. “It wasn’t going to work long term Megan, you know who I work for. It isn’t easy to have relationships when you have to lie to stay alive every day.” I try to brush her off so I can return to my own thoughts. “Hmm, can I ask him out if I see him again?” She chirps far too excited about my used-up date. He isn’t going to be seen again, but she doesn’t know that. “Sure Megs if you see him, ask away he was a bit of a jerk in bed though.” I suddenly have the urge to know more about Callum, I shouldn’t, but I do. “Megs what do you know about Callum, your cousin. I think he is your cousin?”