“I don’t want you to go.”
“Why?”
Of course she wanted details. She wanted me to say that word. “Because I want you with me.”
“That’s not good enough.” Peyton began to walk out of the room, pulling away from my hold. “I’m out of here.”
I chased after her, finally reaching her arm as she took the first step toward the stairs. “Please wait. Just hold up a minute and think about this. Is it really that important to you to hear that word, Pey? Is that all you want, because I can say it, if that’s all it is. I’m just not sure it is what you want.”
She turned away from me and put her head down. “You’re right. It’s everything. I want all of you or nothin’ at all. I can’t be one of your toys anymore.”
“You’ve never been that,” I argued.
“Prove it, Jamey. After everything can you really stand here and want to be with just me? I’m not a fool. I know how you are. I’ve wanted you to change for so long. I’ve been kiddin’ myself thinkin’ that I could change you. Everyone’s told me that it was impossible, but I didn’t listen. Comin’ here was a mistake. You and I both know it.”
Her determination was being ignored because the last thing I was going to let her do was walk away from me again.
“Pey, I missed you. Hell, I went to jail because you got me so fucked up in the head. Please.” I pulled her up against my chest and waited for her to acknowledge how close we were. “I want you to stay with me tonight, not just because I want us to finish what we started, but because you’re my girl and I’m tired of denyin’ it.”
Right away her eyes lit up. “You’ve said that to me before, Jamey.”
“I mean it this time.”
“I want to believe you.” I could see her struggling. This wasn’t about my past, or the way I’d never been able to commit the way she wanted me to. This was about taking our relationship to the next level, or losing her forever. There was no reason to beat around the bush with excuses why I shouldn’t do it. I’d caused her enough pain, and wasted enough time fighting what I knew was already happening between us. There wasn’t any other woman that could get to me like Peyton did, and it was time she knew it. “I want us to be a real couple, baby. I want you and me to work out this time. I’m done bein’ a hard ass. It’s time you and me made it official.”
Her eyes glossed over, suddenly displaying that tender side of her that used to annoy me. It was the first time that I understood why she’d fought me so hard.
“Do you mean it, because if you don’t and I take this leap with you, I’ll be riskin’ my relationship with my family. They ain’t goin’ to understand this at all, and they surely won’t believe that you’ve changed. Jamey, I want this. I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life, and I know you hate talkin’ about feelin’s, but I’ve got to be sure.”
I let my forehead press over hers and closed my eyes as I spoke. “I’m positive. I want you. I want you to be my girlfriend, and I’m ready to tell everyone about it, starting tomorrow with my boys. We’re goin’ four-wheelin’ and I want you with me.”
That flicker in her eyes returned and our lips met again, coaxing timelessly as we sealed our decision.
Peyton was mine again, and this time I wasn’t about to fuck things up.
Chapter 9
Peyton
I couldn’t stop myself. I had to run to him even though I knew it was a bad idea. Everyone was against us, which only made me want him more. Jamey was my weakness, my reason for fighting, my whole world. I could fool myself into thinking I was happy, but given the opportunity to be with him again had only proven that I was denying the inevitable. No man could get to me the way he could, and I was beyond myself with joy to hear him saying that he wanted me, and only me.
He picked me up and carried me back into his room, closing his door with his foot before letting us fall back down on his mattress. I’d like to say that a lot was running through my mind at that moment, but I’d be lying. There was only one thing that I was thinking about.
Jamey.
I needed to be as close to him as humanly possible. This was the first time that we were real; that he was real. Far be it from me to dwell on little details like my family approving. Eventually they’d have to give in. Our families were too close to have such bad blood between them.
Sure, Jamey had made some huge mistakes, and I didn’t expect my brother to welcome him into our family with open arms, but at least he could have the decency to realize how utterly complete I felt when I was in his arms. I’d loved this man for too long to let him go. Hell or high water, I was giving this another go, with or without the approval of my family or friends.
Jamey wasted no time removing the clothes from her body again. We lay there together as if we’d never spent a moment apart. Having already memorized each other’s bodies, this encounter was more emotional. We’d always shared a physical connection, and somewhere deep inside I knew that he reciprocated my feelings, but now it was apparent. He may never say those three words to me, and I was going to have to be okay taking baby steps if I wanted a second chance at happiness. For now I was content being in the arms of the only man I’d ever really loved.
Jamey pressed his lips over mine once more. Our tongues began to mingle together, and soon our naked make-out session had intensified. He caressed my nipples and leaned down to take one in his mouth. I felt his tongue coursing over my sensitive tips, and a shiver went down my spine. Tiny butterflies filled my stomach and a heat radiated between my legs. Slowly Jamey kissed down my belly, resting his head on it as he spoke. “You’re all mine now, Pey. It’s how it should have been all along, baby.” He ran his hand up the side of my waist, until the palm of it cupped my breast again. “All of this belongs to me.”
Jamey declaring ownership over me should have been some kind of red flag, but all I heard was him telling me that I was his girl again. When you’ve waited as long as I had for acknowledgment, you took what you could get. I lifted my head and let my fingers run through his dark, thick hair. “Only if all of you belongs to me.”
He moved up to face me, grabbing my chin gently and taking another kiss from my awaiting lips. “Whatever you want.”
It was the magic words. I was pudding in his hands. Far be it from me to question what he was saying. I wanted Jamey to make up for all of the time we lost bickering and being apart. Finally I was to a point in my life where I was ready to stop worrying about the small details and enjoy what was right in front of me. I’d denied myself this enjoyment; burying my feelings deep inside where nobody could find them. Jamey knew the truth, and the fact that he was fighting for them meant everything.
He flipped us around until I was straddling him. I sat up and ran my own fingers over my hardened nipples, moaning as I continued. We’d just fucked, fought, and were now right back where we started. I could feel his hard dick underneath of me wanting attention. The sudden urgency to please him overwhelmed me. It was as if I felt I needed to thank him for finally giving me what I wanted. I sank down in the bed, forgetting the fact that we’d been intimate before. I didn’t care if I tasted myself when I took him into my mouth. It only signified the fact that he belonged to me. This wasn’t a chase anymore. I didn’t have anything to prove. I’d won the battle and this was my celebration.
The moment I took him into my mouth, savoring his size between my lips, he started to make sounds. Jamey took a handful of my hair and pushed it away from my face. He liked watching me suck his dick, but liked it more when I watched him doing it. I used my saliva to wet his shaft, then pulled away to look at the skin glistening over it. My hands began to massage his balls, and that’s when he started moving his hips ever so gently. I took him into my mouth again, using one hand to stroke his shaft, while my other caressed the smooth skin underneath. The faster my head bobbed the louder his groans became.
This episode wasn’t about foreplay. I wasn’t doing this to make him hard, or to get h
im to pay attention to me. I was doing this because I was grateful. I wanted to please him in every way possible.
Jamey, on the other hand, didn’t want his load wasted in my mouth. After it had become apparent that I wasn’t about to stop, he pulled me off of his cock and made me look up at him. “Get your ass up here.”
I started to lift my body and then realized he wasn’t talking about a kiss. He literally wanted me to sit on his face, after we’d already fucked. We’d done some dirty things together, especially after we’d both had a few drinks in us. To say that we’d explored our sexuality together would have been an understatement. If there was something to be tried, we’d done it, probably more than either of us were willing to admit.
This was different. We were totally sober, and it only heightened the situation.
As I got my body into the sixty-nine position, I prepared to get back to the task at hand. Jamey’s tongue in my pussy stopped me from being able to reciprocate. I could feel his face slamming into the skin of my ass as he fucked me with his hardened tongue and then licked up the skin between my asshole and my sex. The sounds he was making was as if he was savoring the taste of me, which only made me hotter, wetter, and maybe even a little embarrassed. At the same time, I was completely absorbed in feeling utterly satisfied beyond belief. His tongue, forcefully trudged into my pussy, and all I could do was stroke him. I was too aware of what he was making me feel to be able to coordinate my own body into making decisions. My motor skills were unable to work, especially when his tongue got even closer to my asshole. The more he did it, the more I heard his moans. Feeling the vibrations of his sounds, knowing that he was doing them out of pleasure, made me lose all control. I fell down over his hard cock and screamed out his name, as his fingers began to flick over my swollen clit. Instead of stopping, he continued, causing me to keep crying out into his bedroom. I didn’t want it to ever stop, because never in my life had I’d ever experienced something so amazing.
Jamey finally kissed over the cheek of my ass before sliding me on the bed beside him. He came up to face me with a big grin on his face. “Ain’t nobody ever goin’ to make you cum like me.”
He was probably right, and it was one of the reasons that I was so crazy about him. It never mattered how much of an asshole he was, because I knew when we were alone in his bed nothing else seemed to matter.
Jamey stroked my hair while he waited for me to comment on our latest escapade. I could see in his eyes that he felt content. It was so easy for him to not worry about what would come tomorrow. As much as I wished I could feel that same way, I found myself holding a guard up, always fearing the worst so that I couldn’t be disappointed.
For the rest of the night I lay next to Jamey in his bed. We never dressed, but that wasn’t unusual. His mother rarely acknowledged us being there and she always knocked first.
Jamey fell asleep soon after we’d had sex a second time, while I stayed up thinking about everything that had conspired in the last few months. My family was going to kill me for getting back together with him. Imagining the conversation was making my stomach feel queasy. There was no easy way around it. Sure, I could hide the truth from them for a while, but they’d soon wonder who I was spending all of my time with and piece it all together. When it came to me and Jamey I was pretty predictable.
That night I also thought about the fact that, as much as I wanted it to be true, I wondered if Jamey meant everything he said. His soft snoring reminded me of where I was, still I wondered how long it was going to last; how long could it be good for us before it turned to shit again? How long until someone else caught his eye? Could he really be faithful to me, after living his life a certain way for so long?
Worry overwhelmed me, and instead of being happy for myself, I dwelled on what might happen. Little sleep came, and an early morning alarm woke me before I was prepared for it.
Jamey rolled over placing his limp arm over my back. I rolled over and wiped off my eyes before looking in his direction. A big smile washed over his face when our eyes met. “Hi.”
“I almost thought I was dreamin’. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want you here, but I just couldn’t believe you really came over.”
It was probably too early to talk about, not that I cared. “Did you mean what you said last night to me? Do you really want us to be a real couple?”
He rubbed his eyes, making me feel like he was annoyed by my question. Then quickly he looked at me with another one of his cocky smiles. “I meant every word. I know you need labels, but to be honest with you, I haven’t been with anyone else. Yeah, I may have gotten a few numbers, but I swear you were my only girl. If labelin’ this gets us back together then I know it has to be done. I’m not messin’ around anymore, Pey. I want you to be my girlfriend again, and if I have to beg I will.”
He’d surprised me again. I’d swore that he was sleeping around on me, denying me that “girlfriend” title because he knew it would blow up in his face. The fact that I’d been the only one changed everything. Suddenly all of my worries from the night before had vanished. I climbed on top of my boyfriend, bad breath and all, and placed a big kiss over his lips. He pulled away acting like my breath was horrendous. Even if it was, I could tell he was teasing me. “You know I want this, Jamey. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from you. I’ve never stopped lovin’ you. I hope you know that.”
He nodded. “The feelin’s mutual. I know I don’t say it, but I’m crazy about you, baby.”
“Are you goin’ to be mad if I don’t want to tell my family for a while?” The last thing I wanted to do was piss him off.
“Nah. I don’t really feel like kickin’ your brother’s ass anyways.”
We both laughed, but deep inside I knew that Jamey was no match for my brother Shayne. Given the opportunity I knew Shayne could not only take him, but hurt him pretty bad. “I still can’t believe this is happenin’. I mean, just yesterday we weren’t talkin’.”
“I want you to move back in here.”
“You don’t think it’s too soon?”
“It ain’t like we’re just gettin’ to know each other, Pey. I want you next to me at night. That fuckin’ cold spot don’t sit right with me.” He motioned towards my side of the bed making me blush. “Now, get your pretty ass up and put on some of my old sweats. You’re goin’ to get dirty as shit today on the back of my four-wheeler. Don’t even worry about doin’ your hair. We’ll wash it tonight when we get home.”
I hopped off of the bed. “Deal.”
After rummaging through his drawers, like I was so used to doing before, I found some old clothes that I knew he wouldn’t get upset over if they got ruined, and put them on. While getting ready Jamey made sure to be extra affectionate with me. When we brushed our teeth together he mimicked my technique and kept winking at me, showing me those sexy eyes of his. To be honest, I was in awe of him, never once considering how hard it was going to be to explain our relationship to my family.
A honk of a horn let us both know that our ride had arrived. Jamey smacked me lightly on my backside before hustling down the stairs to greet his friends. I say his friends, because even though we grew up with them, they weren’t exactly keen about Jamey being with me, or anyone for that matter.
In fact, for the longest time I swore they were his alibi so that he could hook up with other random chicks. They acted shady, and sometimes even flirty with me, as if Jamey would have been willing to share me with them. The idea of being left in a room alone with any of them made my skin crawl, because I couldn’t ever tell what their true intentions were.
As I made my way down the stairs I heard Jamey talking to them. The sound of the four-wheeler starting let me know that he was loading it onto the trailer. I grabbed soda out of the refrigerator and headed towards the back door. A female voice stopped me dead in my tracks. “Peyton?”
I turned around prepared to face Jamey’s mother. “Hi. It’s been a long time.”
She cocked her eyebrow, staring
with a not-so-amused stare. “What are you doin’ in my kitchen?”
“I spent the night here last night with Jam-.”
She didn’t let me finish. Her hand went up in the air and I froze in place. “Just wait a cotton-pickin’ minute. You mean to tell me that after everything you put my son through you have the nerve to come back into my house and sleep in my son’s bed?”
“With all due respect, Mrs. Billings, I didn’t do anything to your son. He did that all to himself.”
“Not another word, Peyton. You may have my son fooled, but I’m wise to this game you’re playin’. Don’t you dare think you’re movin’ back in here. Over my dead body!”
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but not just because her words were hurtful. It was more so that I knew my family was going to reacted ten times worse than this woman was. My lips began to tremble as I replied to her. “I am in love with your son. That’s never changed. You may not believe me, but it’s the God’s honest truth. Jamey’s invited me to move back in with him, and I said y-.”
The woman whipped past me and pulled open the storm door. “Jamey Billings, get your ass in here right now!”
I stood against the cabinets and watched him come into the house with a smile on his face. It dissipated after taking one look at his mother. “Mom, I can explain.” He already knew what she was going to say, which could only mean that she’d talked to him about being with me before. It was another blow to my heart.
“You better start, because I’m not understandin’ that you’d invite this girl back into your bed, not after her breakin’ your heart and havin’ you locked up.”
“Mom, it wasn’t even like that and you know it. Peyton didn’t make me drink. She certainly didn’t put a set of keys in my hand, or force me to act like an ass to an officer of the law. I did all of that on my own. Give her a break, will ya?”
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