Reject Me

by Jennifer Foor

  “You could have fooled me when you pulled that shit earlier. Pey, what were you thinkin’?”

  “I was thinkin’ that I wanted to be happy for once.” I crossed my arms and stood there by the front door, not willing to get any closer while he was still fuming.

  “I’m only lookin’ out for you. Jamey is bad news. I knew that when you first started datin’ each other.”

  “I love him, Shayne. It’s complicated.”

  “He doesn’t love you. You know that, right?” His words were like daggers to my heart. I hated that he was so hell-bent on making up my mind for me. “He disrespects you.”

  “People can change. You of all people should know that.”

  He put up his hands. “I give up. It’s like talkin’ to the damn wall. You’re never goin’ to learn until he completely destroys you.”

  “It’s my decision.” I stood my ground.

  Shayne got up and walked out of the room without saying anything directly to me. I could hear him talking under his breath, but didn’t care much about whatever he was spewing.

  While gathering my things I say goodbye to Ash and the twins. I could tell she felt sorry for me, but didn’t want to piss off Shayne by telling me.

  The short drive home gave me little time to rationalize. Where I should have driven to my empty house, I headed for the one person who would give me the best advice. Wayne was surprised to see me walk into the bookstore. He was sitting behind the counter with his head in a book. After marking his page, he sat it down and shot me a worried glare. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the beach basking in the sun?”

  “Yeah. That was the plan.”

  “So what happened?”

  “Jamey. My brother. Drama.”

  Wayne snickered. “Why am I not surprised?”

  “Because it’s like my life is on repeat,” I suggested.

  “You know, you could change that if you wanted to?”

  “Wayne, I need your advice. I’m so confused.”

  He walked toward me and wrapped his arms around me. “First things first.”

  I smiled knowing that he cared about my sanity. “I needed that,” I said as he pulled away.

  He led me over to a round table and we sat down across from each other. “It’s been quiet in here all day, so give it to me straight. What happened?”

  I sat there for the next hour explaining every detail of what had transpired at the beach. Wayne listened patiently, without interrupting. When I finished I sat there waiting for him to give it to me straight. “What a mess.”

  “I know,” I admitted sadly.

  “Peyton, I could give you advice, and tell you what I think you should do, but the question here is what do you want?”

  “I want to feel free, like nothing is bein’ hidden from me. I want to be happy.”

  “Does Jamey make you happy?”

  “Yes, but he also makes me hurt. He scares me.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but this decision is yours to make, Peyton. You’re either going to take the risk or learn how to let it go.”

  “If you found out your wife had cheated on you, what would you have done?”

  Wayne looked down at his hands. I could tell it was a hard question for him to answer, as anything about his late wife was. “She and I talked about this once when she was sick. She kept telling me to go out and find someone to keep me occupied so I wouldn’t dwell on her being so sick. Of course I couldn’t do it. Anyway, I’ll tell you exactly like I told it to her. My love for her was too strong to let go of. We’re human, and it’s in our nature to make mistakes. If she loved only me and wanted us to work I would have forgiven her, because I’d rather know she was still mine, then lose everything we had.”

  It was shocking. “Really? You’d be able to get past it?”

  “I would never forget it happened, and I’d always be cautious of what she was involved in, but I would forgive her. My situation is much different than yours, Peyton, and I realize some people find cheating as an endgame.”

  I stood up from the table and looked directly at Wayne. “I need to go.”

  He stood up. “Wait? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. There’s just somethin’ that I need to do. I’ll call you tonight. We can have dinner or somethin’.”

  Wayne waved to me as I ran out the door, not really explaining what had come over me. I must have seemed like lunatic to him, not that I cared. I had an idea and I prayed that it was going to work.

  Once I got back to my house in the comfort of the bedroom, I sat down on my mattress and pulled Jamey’s phone out of my purse. I scrolled through the names of females, feeling instantly nauseous how many he had, finally coming to Angie’s number. The text was to the point.

  What’s up, sexy? – Jamey

  She responded immediately.

  I didn’t think I ever hear from you again. What’s wrong? Did blondie finally give up? – Ang

  I cringed reading her message, but jumped to respond back.

  That bitch is crazy. You were right. – Jamey

  I guess you want to hook up? – Ang

  There was a few seconds where I wanted to throw the phone against the wall.

  I was just thinking about the last time we were together. I dreamed about it last night. – Jamey

  Wow you remember that? It was so long ago. – Ang

  Has it really been that long? I guess time flies when you’re having fun. – Jamey

  It’s been over a year. I still have that shirt you gave me from the concert we all went to. It has the date on it. – Ang

  I was shaking so badly, partly because she was talking about being on a date with him, but mostly because she was admitting they’d never been together in recent months. Jamey had been telling me the truth the whole time.

  You shouldn’t have lied to Peyton like you did. I would have dumped her anyway. _ Jamey

  I was doing you a favor. We both know you don’t do relationships. – Ang

  Ang, that’s where you’re wrong. I love Peyton. Thanks for giving me the proof I needed to get her back. – Jamey

  I didn’t want her knowing it was me. After watching four messages come through, that I ignored responding to, I put his phone back in my purse and began to sob. I’d gone through hell because of that stupid bitch. Sure, he’d cheated, but his honesty had been a breaking point for us. Wayne had been right. I could spend my whole life miserable, or be with the man I loved.

  I had a lot to do to make things right. The first call was to my brother.

  “Did you make it home safe?”

  “Yeah, listen, I’m goin’ to be with Jamey whether you like it or not. I hope that in time you can get past your feelin’s and get along, for me.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I am. Shayne, I don’t expect you to ever understand, but you can at least be supportive of my decision.”

  “Supportive? That son-of-a-bitch just showed up and started with me again. I will never support you bein’ with him, that’s why I called the fuckin’ cops. Your boy just got taken away in handcuffs, and I’m guessin’ since he’s still on probation that his ass ain’t gettin’ out anytime soon.”

  I was in shock. He couldn’t have gone there with intent to stir up something with my brother. He had to have been mistaken. “Please tell me you’re jokin’.”

  “Do I sound like I’m jokin’? That little bastard ain’t comin’ on my porch disrespectin’ me. I let him get one punch in before I called the authorities. For the last time, Peyton, stay away from him. He’s bad news.”

  I hung up the phone before I could come up with something to say. It made no sense at all that Jamey would have gone and done that.

  Before I had time to think about what I was doing, I’d gotten back in my car and started driving to the beach.

  I had to fix this.

  Chapter 22

  Jamey

  About an hour after Peyton left me standing on my front porch I decided that if I w
anted another chance at being with her I had to make amends with Shayne. He and I hadn’t seen eye to eye ever, so I was aware of the challenge it would be to convince him that I’d changed.

  From the moment I arrived at his door all hell had broken loose. Shayne came at me, armed with a damn baseball bat. He backed me up off of the porch while screaming. “Get the fuck out of here!”

  I put my hands up signaling that I didn’t want any trouble. He needed to know that I wasn’t there to piss him off. “Shayne wait. I just want to talk.”

  “Bullshit! There’s nothin’ you can say to me that I haven’t already heard. I told you to stay away from my sister, but you didn’t listen. Now she’s all fucked up again. Why can’t you learn to leave things alone? Hasn’t she been hurt enough?”

  “I’m not tryin’ to hurt her. I’m tryin’ to make things right.”

  He pointed the bat at me. “Get off my property or I’ll call the cops and tell them you’re harassin’ us.”

  “I’m not harassin’ shit. If anyone’s bein’ ridiculous it’s you.”

  That’s all he needed to fuel his motivation. He came at me, dropping the bat just moments before I could push him away. I supposed I should have backed up and claimed some kind of self defense. In the heat of the moment I wasn’t thinking rationally. I came there for a talk, and now we were rolling around on the front lawn, getting in as many punches to each other as we could.

  A neighbor that probably had been outside for the whole ordeal ran over and got between us. Once we were pulled away from each other, I sat back and listened to Shayne spinning the whole story around to make it like I’d come there to attack him. The next thing I knew the cops were pulling up, putting me in handcuffs and shoving me into the back of their car. It was like history repeating itself.

  After being processed I sat in a cell waiting for my brother to show up to get me out. Unfortunately I discovered that I had to wait until the next morning for my arraignment. In the meantime I was stuck without a way to contact Peyton and let her know that I hadn’t done what Shayne was obviously going to tell her I had.

  That’s why it came to be a great surprise when I was visited by the person who had got me locked up in the first place.

  With only a thick amount of glass separating us, I picked up the phone while never taking my eyes off of him. “Are you happy now?”

  “That depends.” We both knew he was holding all the cards.

  “On what?”

  “How you want to handle this. You see, Jamey, I want you out of my sister’s life, and I’m willin’ to protect her however I can. Since she can’t seem to stay away from you on her own, it’s up to me to make it happen. Now you have two choices. You can either agree to push her away, and leave her alone, or you can stay locked up and pray that they don’t make you serve more time.”

  “You’re fuckin’ blackmailin’ me? You’ve got to be kiddin’. I knew you were an asshole, but this is bullshit!”

  “I don’t’ care what you think. My family has had enough problems. All you’ve done is bring my sister down. I’m tired of seein’ her hurt. I’m doin’ what needs to be done.”

  “This will destroy her.”

  “No, you’re doin’ a fine job of that on your own. This will save her.”

  “You’re insane.” He wasn’t going to dictate my choices.

  “That’s an opinion. Make a decision so I don’t have to look at your face any longer.”

  “You want me to choose between my freedom and your sister? That’s fucked up.” I couldn’t make that decision.

  “How will your family feel when they find out you’re goin’ back to jail? How about your mother? Will she still support you, let you live in her house, and work at the diner?”

  “I don’t care about any of that right now. I care about your sister. I won’t hurt her.”

  “Either way you’re goin’ to lose her, Jamey. Face it, you’re out of options.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “So you pick jail?” He started to get up with a smile on his face.

  I waited until he was about to hang up the phone before stopping him. “Wait.” This was killing me inside. “I need time to think about it.”

  “I won’t make my statement until tomorrow mornin’. That should give you time to make your decision.”

  “You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

  He smiled. “It takes one to know one.”

  I watched as he hung up the phone and walked away. Immediately I was taken back to my holding cell.

  No sooner did I get back when they came and got me again. This time the person waiting for me was my brother. I picked up the phone, first listening to him scream at me, and then finally settling down to hear me out. I proceeded to explain everything that had taken place between us. By the time I was done my brother looked more pissed than me. He wiped his face with his hands while he considered what to advise me to do. “Bro this ain’t about just you and Peyton anymore. Our families are connected. If there is drama with the two of you it trickles down. You know how pissed our aunt and uncle get.”

  “Man, now you? I need support.”

  “Jamey, we all like Peyton. It’s obvious you’re crazy about her, but enough is enough. You need a break at least. My advice to you is that you take Shayne up on his deal. Let him drop the charges and get you out of this dump. You can let Peyton down easy, then after some time you can convince her that you were wrong.”

  “Do you have any idea what you’re askin’ me to do?”

  My brother looked at me and shook his head. I could see that he sympathized with my situation. “Yeah. I do. I don’t know what else to tell you. This is ugly, and it ain’t goin’ to get any better with you bein’ locked up.”

  “I can’t hurt her again.”

  “Jamey, as your brother I’m tellin’ you to make a wise choice. In the long run it will all work out. Besides, you two can use the time apart to figure out if bein’ together is even what you both want.”

  “Don’t try to make me feel better. Nothin’s goin’ to help me.”

  “I’m sorry, bro. You want me to talk to Shayne?”

  “Hell no. You two have had enough beef. I sure as hell don’t want you in here with me. Things have been mellow between you, and I know Lacey appreciates it. I’ll figure it out.”

  My brother stayed only to assure me that he’d have my back with whatever decision I made. I knew what had to be done, but going through with it wasn’t going to be easy.

  Shayne must have returned the next morning, because I was sent on my way a little after nine. I didn’t bother calling Joey to come pick me up, because someone was already there waiting for me to come outside.

  Even though I could tell she’d spent most of the night crying, from the swelling underneath her eyes, she still looked beautiful. Her arms were around me before I could prevent it. She felt so good close to me, but I knew it couldn’t last. Her asshole brother was probably around the corner watching us. “I’m sorry, Pey.”

  “What happened? Shayne said you attacked him.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but knew this would give me the opportunity to break things off with her mad at me. It was better this way. “He’s right. I did. I went there to give him a piece of my mind. I’m sick of his shit.”

  “Jamey, why?” She backed away from me. “Why would you cause more drama?”

  I smiled, pretending that it made me happy to mess things up. “You were right all along, Peyton. I can’t change.”

  “What? Why are you sayin’ that?” I watched the expression on her face change from angry to painful. “We can be together now, Jamey. I forgive you. Don’t talk like that.”

  “I’m sayin’ it because it’s true. I’m never goin’ to change, and the sooner you realize that the sooner we can stop playin’ this game. It’s not fair to you.”

  She shook her head. “No. I don’t believe that. I know you didn’t sleep with Angie.” She pulled my phone out of her purse. �
�I text her pretendin’ to be you. She admitted you were never together on that day she claimed.”

  I couldn’t let her forgive me. She had to be angry. It was the only way to ensure she wouldn’t keep trying. “I saw her last week and told her you’d be callin’. I gave her a password, so she’d be able to tell the difference between me and you.”

  She began to sob heavily. “You’re lyin’.”

  “No, I’m not.” Waves of anguish washed over me as I lied to the only woman I’d ever loved. This was torture that even I didn’t deserve. She was being crushed and I knew I couldn’t comfort her. This was sealing our fate forever. Shayne was getting what he wanted, and I was losing everything. “Look, baby, I’m sorry. I thought I could make it work, but it’s not possible. We both need to go our separate ways.”

  Peyton turned and ran away without saying anything more. Realizing that I’d just ruined my life, I started to run after her. I watched her pulling away from the curb as she rolled down the window and tossed out her bracelet on the street.

  I picked it up and stared down at it. This was what it felt like to hit rock bottom, to be completely alone without hope.

  Maybe I deserved this ending.

  Maybe Peyton was too good for me.

  I would never know the answer, because I’d been pushed into a decision that would ruin me forever. I had to let her go.

  Chapter 23

  Peyton

  How was it possible that this was happening to me again?

  I’d fought so hard for answers to find a way to forgive Jamey for what he’d put me through. He’d done so much to prove to me that he’d changed, and now he’d just thrown me away as if I never meant anything at all.

  I was so distraught that I had to pull off the road to calm down. I picked up my phone and sent Jamey a message to try to figure out what was going on, because none of it made sense.

  Talk to me. - Peyton

  Jamey, please answer me. – Peyton

  Don’t do this. – Peyton

  My messages were left unanswered. II had no clue what was going on. The last time I’d seen Jamey he was doing everything he could to get back together. Now, just a day later, he was pushing me away. None of it made sense, and I was too devastated to figure it out.