The Dungeon Con: One Foot in the Grave ( Hank Grave Book 1): One Foot in the Grave (Hank Grave series)

by Marty Myers

  The young shaman spoke up. “ I Haman, a shaman of the Dark Sunken Caves Tribe have summoned you spirit.” He waved a rattle around which gave off a feeble light and a little dark essence which spilled out into tiny droplets which fell around Hanks scrying. He felt the very beginnings of a spirit circle trying to form from this before the magic’s encountered his own and unraveled. The older shaman frowned upon seeing this and stared more intently in Hanks direction. Haman again waved his rattle around and added a chant to it which strengthened his second attempt. It lasted a few more moments and reached about halfway around Hanks construct before it too gave out.

  Hank meanwhile spoke up. “ Why have you summoned me goblin? I can not be bound into service by the likes of you Haman of the Dark Sunken Caves.” The older Shaman turned a bit ashen at my pronouncement, but his apprentice actually looked relieved that I had spoken so intelligently. Haman said, “ Oh dark spirit I am in need of one of your kinds assistance to help my people.” “ What is it you need,” Hank asked, expecting any number of greedy or stupid replies. Instead, the young goblin said. “ The caves my people live in are being attacked by your kind. Old spirits long buried and forgotten about deep below our caves are now awake and angry and are taking it out on us goblins. Can you stop them or get them to go away and leave us alone.”

  Hank was surprised by the request and paused to think about choosing to do it just to find these other spirits. Before he could decide how he wanted to let this play out, the warrior let out a loud belch and then said, “ This spirit is too weak to stop the other spirits who were at least great warriors in life.” Then the warrior sneered over the fire at the area where he saw the others were looking. It made Hank angry to hear the other goblin giving him crap but it also snapped him out of just agreeing to help them. Instead, he said “ I can probably drive the other spirits away from here, but I want to see them first before I agree to do so. I also want something in return for my help.” Show him the spirits before you make a deal or agree to give him anything,” the older shaman warned his apprentice.

  The young goblin stood up and led Hank through the cavern and deeper into the ground. He chose one tunnel from among the many that dotted the back wall of the cavern. This one sloped down and after just one turning and branching then it continued fairly straight. After a while, they reached a section where the tunnel’s walls were crazed by cracks which ran up part way across the roof.

  Hank felt a residue of magic here and some slight resistance to his scrying. Looking closer he found an old set of runes that appeared to form a broken ward against spirits carved here long ago by some unknown hand. “This here looks to be the root of your problem,” Hank said to Haman. “ I know,” the young goblin said. “ I told the others that the failure of the old magics was to blame for our problems with the harassing spirits, but it changes nothing. Our own wards are not strong enough to keep the spirits from down here away from our tunnels. The ones we set up give out after a few attempts by the angry spirits to pass by them.” “ Is this the only tunnel they come up from,” Hank asked. “ It was until recently, now they occasionally make their way out of the ground somewhere else in the canyon and sometimes find their way back here through our caves.”

  “Let’s go take a look at them then,” Hank said. Haman said, “ I will go with you, but I can’t go too much further or the spirits will sense me and rush us. Then they will plague me and curse me and wail upon me and follow us back to the home cavern.” Hank took a minute and focused and cast one of his own wards against spirits at the point where the older one had failed.He remembered to exempt himself from its effects as Provoas had instructed him. The stone remembered the purpose of its old enchantment and bolstered his attempt. It was only a temporary measure but it would keep them from following Hank and Haman if they disturbed the spirits. Then he personally warded the young goblins person against spirits adding an exception for himself at the last minute. The goblin watched avidly trying to see what he was doing as he worked. Lastly, he cast a veil upon them that should obscure them from the spirits soul sight.

  The goblin crept stealthily down the tunnel as Hanks scrying silently kept pace with him. Far ahead a glimmering pale blue illumination began to define the walls and ceiling of the tunnel. At last they reached a section of the tunnel half filled with rubble from an older collapse. Here the tunnel wall connected with another lower chamber from which the light emerged. Hank could feel the presence of magics worn down over long ages as well as that of the essence of spirits filled with unrest.

  He surged forward for a view while Haman hung back for fear of disturbing the spirits within. Hank looked inside and was surprised to see the spirits of dark towering huge muscled barbarians crowded around several waist high crypts which had apparently been crushed by the roofs partial collapse some time ago. The half dozen or so spirits were fruitlessly trying to shift the huge block of stone off of their disturbed resting places. Their exertions were in vain for their phantasmal limbs kept slipping through the slabs of stone. Hank could see that they had used up most of their essence in their latest attempt and it wasn’t long before they gave up on shifting the pile and instead went to standing around the tomb cursing the fates that had doomed them to their fruitless unquiet rest.

  Hank drew back and motioned for Haman to retreat. They retraced their path back to where the ward was and once past it. Hank said, “ I can indeed solve your people’s spirit problems Haman. There looks to be an ancient burial chamber down there with at least six crypts broken open or crushed. I am not sure how many more are left intact. This has disturbed the rest of the spirits at some point. The damage also opened up one of the warded walls of the chamber and let them out. I have no idea how long they have been like this, but the old wards here make me think this has been going on for quite a while.”

  “ I think the spirits are coming up to your caves looking for more dark essence to rebuild their strength between attempts to uncover their remains. They are likely attacking your people in frustration at their dilemma or they could just not like goblins very much. Either way, I believe I can convince them to settle down once I help them move the stone away or I can remove them from their predicament.” “ Really,” Haman said, “ you will swear to do that in the circle?” “ Yes,” Hank said, “ one or the other but it won’t be easy. I want something of worth in exchange.”

  “ Tell me Haman I know this is your peoples home, but how well do you all live here. I see that your people are gifted magically speaking better than most of your kind but it seems as if you lack many good tools and weapons.” Haman replied cautiously, “ we are a relatively poor clan with few prospects here but we do have safety generally in these caves which is something few goblin tribes can boast of. Hunting is scarce here though and so many of our young eventually leave us to seek better hunting and more opportunities among the other tribes.”

  Hank said, “ you should have guessed by now that I am much more than just a mere spirit.” “ Yes,” the young shaman said, “ I have dreamed last night that a great Dark One would come to us and change my life path. My mentor said many of us have this type of dream and for few does it truly come to pass.” Hank said, “ I am a dungeon in the service to the Lord of the Dark. Know that the Darkness is not kind and I serve him. Think carefully before you take up this path that comes before you now. For I would have many of your goblins to come live within my halls.”

  “ But I would expect obedience and tribute from them. I am a dungeon of the dead and the dead are always of use to me. Their bones walk my halls and fight my battles as do the other uncanny minions within my domain. In exchange for your loyalty I will bring in plenty of game for your people to hunt, better weapons to outfit your warriors and I will even consider gifting you with some knowledge of my dark arts if you wish to add necromancy to your own powers. Be warned though that spiders also will occupy my chambers and an occasional snack will they make of the weak or unwary goblin who falls into their webs.”


  The goblin beside him did not immediately jump on his offer which made Hank respect him more instead they climbed back up the tunnels into the cavern where the old shaman sat awaiting them. Hank checked before reentering the area where Haman had tried to set the circle before. He found that the old one had hidden fetishes and tokens here and there to aid any attempt his apprentice might make going forward to trap, bind or bargain with him. Hank thought kindly of Haman’s mentor for doing this for his apprentice even as he neutralized their effectiveness before returning to his earlier position.

  “ I have looked over the spirits that trouble your people and I can deal with them so that they trouble you no further. I still want something worthy in exchange for this favor. I have revealed to your apprentice my true nature. I am a dungeon spirit seeking to expand upon the minions for my horde. I serve the Darkness and he demands I increase my horde drastically in preparation for the coming war with the Light. I would have many of your goblins to come live within my halls and multiply. I would demand obedience and tribute from your tribe. I am a dungeon of the dead. Their bones will walk my halls and fight my battles even after their death as do my other minions within my domain.”

  “ In exchange for their loyalty I will bring in abundant game for them to hunt, good weapons to outfit the warriors with and even impart some of my dark arts upon the shaman’s who join me and any wights that may arise among your people.” As he was speaking the warrior who had been there earlier walked back up and openly sneered at hearing Hanks words. Hank felt sudden black rage growing deep within him and forced an image of himself to appear before them. He then repeatedly death bolted the warrior back a dozen feet until he dropped to his knees. He was surprised at how resistant the goblin was to the dark energies tearing into him even as he blew past his tolerances and shredded the goblin’s health. “ My life is yours Dark One,” the warrior gasped out as his poor breastplate crumbled apart and he fell to his knees more than half dead before him.

  Hank withdrew his energies from eating at the goblin’s body and noticed that both Haman and the old shaman had been attempting to deflect his bolts and restrain him during his attack on their clan mate. Hank withdrew back to his previous position and focused on forcing a healing chant into his new minion. He found healing the damage he had inflicted on the living to be difficult, but he restored two thirds of the damage he had inflicted before leaving the rest as a reminder to the goblin not to disrespect his new master.

  The old shaman sighed after the danger had passed and said, “ a show of force is almost always necessary before you can win over the warriors to your side. Hank only now noticed that many a fearful goblin face was peaking out of the tent and from other fire pits and dark corners of the cavern. Hank spoke louder making the cavern ring with his voice. “ Within the next three days I will deal with your spirit problem and then in exchange, many of your tribe will come to my dungeon to serve me.”

  “ Take this token of our bargain and place it at the entrance of the tunnel you showed me. It will capture any of the spirits who manage to come here so that they do not bother you before I come again.” Hank teleported his ghost trapper skull to sit before them and tuned it to catch the type of spirits he had seen below. He didn’t want it to trap all of the shaman’s nature spirits while he was gone after all. He then activated the trap. Hank said, “ I will be taking this warrior now who has sworn himself to me and Haman to look upon your future home that they may describe what they have seen when I return.”

  Chapter 37

  Hank teleported the goblins back to his pool as he released the scrying. He felt out of sorts, like a cold hard ball of anger and pain had taken up residence within the pit of his stomach. He thought to himself this must be how an ulcer feels. Hank was glad Llyelwelyn was going to be arriving soon because he wanted her to see if this was another symptom of the changes he was undergoing.

  He turned his attention back to the goblins who were staring all around themselves. The warrior was still clutching his chest. “ What are you called,” Hank asked. “ Barlow is my name,” the goblin said and then added, “ Master “ I am called Hank of the Graves,” Hank said. “ You two are to stay with me unless I tell you otherwise. Everyone else here is currently your better. They are better minions than you and are already here completing tasks for me or my master Lord Provoas or for the Darkness himself. They are generally to be avoided or obeyed by you depending on the circumstances. Listen, look and learn he told them both for you and the lives of your tribe depend upon your learning how to fit in here.”

  “ First off though what is it you goblins prefer to eat Barlow?” “ We will eat just about any creature master.” “ Yes, but what would you prefer, rats, grubs, cave fish? What should I bring here for your people to feed upon? I carved almost all of my chambers and hallways recently and I am still expanding. Currently, there are very few living things scurrying about within me.” The warrior said, “there are many types of cave life. Rock rats and blind cave fish are both delicious.”

  While he was dealing with the goblins Hank had sent off another part of himself to carve out another level between the upper and lower sections of himself just below the pirate’s cavern. He had seen the caves the tribe lived in now and roughly duplicated them with a few improvements here and there including carving a shallow bowl shaped cavern to be filled and made into a shallow lightless lake for fishing. He added a small island out in its center in homage to a particular scene from one of his favorite classic childhood fantasy books. He had always enjoyed fishing as a kid so he created other details in its bottom like more cover for the fish and made one or two deep spots for them to congregate in.

  He lost himself in creating it for a few minutes. When it was done he opened up a teleport point from the rivers that he and Alastor had hunted their zombie fish in and let the waters and fish there pour into the new carved space. Most of these fish would probably die in this new environment Hank thought, but they would do for the goblins to eat for now. Hank’s self by the pool focused back on the goblins canyon and caves and he brought some of the sightless fish Barlow pointed out to him back to the lake as well. Then he focused his scrying out to find some likely rats to dump into their level.

  Barlow and Haman stared into the scrying pool in fascination as scenes and images flashed by them. Hank found them some rock rats in the scree filling the pass and brought them down into the dungeon. They were few and scrawny though. So he cast his scrying out again and this time swept up many more fatter ones from Alastasia’s old crypt. He even collected many bugs and some dirt, moss, and grubs from her decrepit domain while he was thinking of establishing the food chain on this floor.

  When he was nearly done he felt the Darkness arrive and begin powering up the dragon portal just outside of the altar room. Hank wondered if the dragon remains that the portal was made of might even be the dragon familiar from Provoas’s story earlier. It was a terrible fate for anyone since its own spirit was still trapped and bound into its carcass powering the device. Still, Hank couldn’t help but to be a bit fascinated with its construction though as it was a prime example of what high level Death crafting could accomplish.

  Just thinking about it was setting off a torrent of knowledge and incantations pouring through his mind from the new grimoire though none of them were high enough level magic to be able to recreate the portal downstairs. Hank knew from the last time that he had a couple hours before the portal would likely be fully charged and ready to open but he also knew he could not afford to be split in too many directions or to be too far away like the last time Llywelyn had tried to contact him.

  He wished he could review and practice the new grimoire within his mindscape but he instinctively knew that this path required real physical components and otherworldly spirits to be combined to practice it, which he would not want to try to invite into his mind to work with. Instead, much of what he would be learning would require real world time assembling that much of the basics of the other path
s had not. The advantages it offered were too good not to learn it though.

  While Hank was still scrying and teleporting things in he took a minute or two to find another herd of Aurochs. He focused on picking off several outlying animals which he sent to the guards training hall. Let that be a surprise for them he thought. Perhaps it will keep them on their toes. He sent a signal through his bond to the kitchen to let them know they would soon have more meat to prepare and got a twinge in return from his contract with the chef.

  Hank was reminded that he needed to fulfill the last of the contract’s stipulations and find the chefs family to send the letter and the gold to before too much longer. The geas spurred him to try resolving the matter right now. He teleported the goblins and relocated himself over to the kitchen to get the letter and settle the matter. The goblins were not used to the sudden changes of location and once again stared agog at their change in scenery. Once in the kitchen he summoned Birch and had him pen the letter for Anatolius and his wife and retrieve enough gold to satisfy the ghostly couple.

  Hank introduced Haman and Barlow around while he was doing so and authorized them to get food for the time being from the kitchen. Hank said, “ I am warning you two, don’t get caught loitering around the guards as they are a rough lot that is likely to give you grief if not kill you outright for just for their entertainment. I also forbid the two of you or any other goblins from going near the altar room. The Lord of Darkness is preparing great magics there that it is none of your concern. Only in the unlikely event that you find an intruder heading there are you to raise the alarm and attack them before they can do any further harm,” Hank said.