Cowboy Baby Daddy

by Claire Adams

  To this day, I’m convinced it was my stepmother recognizing my father’s talents in a way he never did.

  “Stella?”

  I turned at the sound of Daisy’s voice and watched her come around the corner. I smiled, ecstatic to see my best friend, and I strode over to her before I wrapped her up in my arms.

  “He’s gone, Daisy,” I said breathlessly.

  “Greyson or your father?” she asked.

  I pulled back, kissing her on the cheek before I sighed.

  “What the hell was he doing here?” she asked.

  “Wanting to take me out to dinner,” I said.

  “Then why is he leaving?” she asked

  “Because I told him not tonight,” I said.

  “He’s a dick, Stella,” she said.

  “He’s got his moments, yes,” I said.

  “He’s got more than moments, Stella. He’s a grade-A asshole. You just lost your dad, and you mean to tell me he’s not even staying with you? He should be the one helping you do this,” she said.

  “In his defense, I didn’t ask either of you to come. I simply told you both I was coming here,” I said.

  “Which is Stella-code for ‘please come be with me,’” she said.

  “Well, when I speak in Stella-code, I know he usually doesn’t get it. And that’s fine with me.”

  “No, you make it fine because you know if you asked him to stay, even without dinner and the assumed sex afterward, he still wouldn’t stay.”

  “Daisy, not right now,” I said, sighing.

  “Fine, fine. Alright, alright. I’ll play nice. But I hate Greyson. He’s a shithead who isn’t good enough for you,” she said.

  “I get it, Daisy.”

  “How’re you doing, Stella?” she asked.

  “It hurts,” I said. “Real deep down.”

  “Come here.”

  She wrapped me back up in her arms, and I sighed heavily into her shoulder. It hurt so much standing in this room, but I knew I had to do it. My father’s desk and his books held so much information I would need on the company when they handed it over to me, and the sooner I could figure out where they’d left off, the sooner I could get everything back on track.

  “Want to go sit on his leather couch in the corner?” she asked.

  “It smells like him,” I said, whispering.

  “It’ll be a start,” she said.

  She walked me over to the leather couch in the corner, and we slowly sat down. All of a sudden, I was 15 years old again. I was sprawled out on my father’s couch with a book while he typed aimlessly in the background, mumbling to himself about orders and paperwork and new products.

  “Your father was a good man, and you’ll always have those memories of him,” she said.

  “I miss him so much,” I said, sniffling.

  “I know you do. And you’ll be able to keep his legacy going when you take over Harte To Heart,” she said.

  “I want to keep making specialty supplies for the community. He really had a heart for that. But I don’t have the creative mind he did. What if I can’t do it?” I asked.

  “You are more like your father than you realize. You’ll get into the swing of things, I promise. You just need to let yourself grieve first,” she said.

  “I didn’t even get to say goodbye, Daisy,” I said. “He was gone. His mind was already somewhere else.”

  “I know,” she said. “I know, sweetheart.”

  “It killed me, pulling him off that ventilator,” I said breathlessly.

  “How’s Christian taking all this? Is he coming by later?” she asked.

  “Who the fuck knows?” I asked, pulling away from her. “He came to the hospital, murmured to his mom for a bit, pulled her plug, and left before the life-support machines even fucking died down.”

  “Yikes,” she said.

  “Yeah. Just as fucking heartless as Greyson just was,” I said.

  “So, you won’t talk to your callous stepbrother, but you’ll have sex with your insensitive boyfriend.”

  “Daisy,” I warned.

  “Sorry, sorry. Anyway, when do you start with the company?” she asked.

  “The reading of the will is Monday, then once they declare me the head of the company, I can get started immediately. The will serves as official paperwork until I can get stuff signed and notarized,” I said.

  “Well, you’ll have to call me afterward so we can go to dinner. Your treat,” Daisy said, winking.

  “I can do that,” I said.

  “In the meantime, what are you doing for dinner tonight?” she asked.

  “I’m just not hungry,” I said.

  “That what you told Greyson?” she asked.

  “I said I didn’t feel like going anywhere, which is the truth. I want to sit here and marinate in the memories and smells of this home. It’s all I’ve got left of him, Daisy. I’m not ready to leave it.”

  “And no one’s asking you to. Not me, at least,” she said.

  “But, thanks for the offer,” I said.

  “Oh, you’re not getting out of eating. Pizza delivers. What was your father’s favorite?” she asked.

  I smiled at her before I laid my head on her shoulder. Daisy was my best friend for many reasons, but one of the main reasons was that she understood. She accepted the way I needed to wind down and study. The things I needed to accomplish to feel like I’d succeeded in life. She understood the way my mind processed things and what was necessary for me to move on.

  And, at this very moment, she understood how I needed to grieve.

  “Pepperoni and pineapple with olives and extra cheese,” I said.

  “Olives?” she asked.

  “Yep,” I said.

  “Well, we’ll put those on your half. Large pizza with soda and cheesy bread?” she asked.

  “Sounds fantastic,” I said.

  She got up to order the pizza and left me with my thoughts. My eyes scanned the room, landing on the shelves of books I still hadn’t read yet. When I started getting my Bachelor’s in health and nutrition, I didn’t have the time to come home and read like I did when getting my Associate’s. I didn’t have the time to sit on this leather couch and devour his collection just so I could feel closer to him while he was working in his office.

  So, I got up and walked over to the first shelf and plucked a book from its place before carrying it back over to the leather couch.

  “Oh, and Stella?” Daisy asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re going to be alright. Okay?”

  “I know,” I said, a slight smile crossing my face. “I know.”

  “And you’ll be a hell of a business owner,” she said, winking.

  I shook my head at her while she ordered the pizza and I cracked open the book in my hands. I found my father’s notes in the margins of the textbook, years of pencil and pen marks that scrawled idea after idea on the pages, and even found little drawings and doodles with dimensions and schematics scribbled in between the text lines of the pages.

  It was then I realized what I’d picked up.

  I’d found my father’s treasure trove of ideas.

  And I read everything he had written in the margins while Daisy’s voice faded into the background.

  Chapter Three

  Christian

  “Better late than never,” Stella said, muttering.

  The reading of my mother’s will was today, and I was not looking forward to it. I couldn’t have cared less about all the things they were leaving to Stella, and I didn’t understand why the lawyer insisted I be here. From the moment I walked in, I could feel Stella’s entitled snobbery bounce off the walls, and all I wanted to do was turn around and leave.

  “It’ll be quick because everything’s already yours anyway,” I said.

  “Whatever,” she said.

  I sat down beside her while the lawyer rifled through papers. I pulled out my phone and started playing on it, willing this entire thing to be over. I co
uld feel Stella’s eyes on me before I saw her shake her head, but it was the lawyer’s voice who caught me off guard.

  “You are going to want to pay attention to this, Mr. Gunn,” he said.

  “Fine,” I said, sighing.

  “The first item on the list—”

  “There’s a list?” I interrupted.

  “—is a letter from Stella’s father,” the lawyer said, shooting me a nasty look.

  “Try to shut up for this part,” Stella said coolly.

  “Would you like me to read it?” the lawyer asked Stella.

  “Yes, please,” she said. I watched her tuck her hands between her legs, and for the first time in my life, I thought I saw her eyes well up with tears.

  I’d never seen her react this strongly to anything before.

  “My dearest Stella,” the lawyer began. “First, let me say how proud I am of you. Your passion for reading and education is akin to my own, and it brings me great pride to see the young woman you’ve blossomed into. What you have accomplished in your life is more than most, and you should carry your pride as a badge.”

  I heard her sniffle as the lawyer paused, and I watched her every movement. The tear running down her face streaked the makeup she had tried to throw on this morning, and part of me wanted to reach out and hold her hand. With her inheriting the company, I didn’t think she’d take this as hard as she was. She was the smart one, and everyone knew she’d be alright.

  “I tell you all of this knowing you will be angry with my decision about the company,” the lawyer said.

  I watched Stella tip her head up. The lawyer now had the whole of my attention, and the hands that were tucked between her thighs were now clutching the chair.

  “You are my daughter, my ray of sunshine. The light in my eye and the angel of my days. You are strong, beautiful, and I know you will be fine without me. I have taught you well, and you have succeeded in everything you have set out to do. I do not want something like Harte To Heart to hold you back from all you have yet to accomplish, which is why I am handing the company over to Christian.”

  “Excuse me?” I said.

  “Which is why I am handing the company over to Christian,” the lawyer repeated.

  “He’s doing what?” Stella asked breathlessly.

  I looked over at her and saw a red flush rising up her neck. Her crying eyes immediately turned hard, with those ice green eyes reflecting the anger fluttering up her skin. She was gripping the chair so hard her arms were shaking, and I simultaneously felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my gut.

  He was fucking giving me the company? I didn’t know shit about the business. I couldn’t have cared less about his idiotic company!

  “My relationship with Christian over the years has shown me that not only is he intelligent enough to run the company, but he is, in fact, capable of it. My beautiful daughter, you are wise beyond your years, and you are still in the process of getting your Bachelor’s degree. You need to pursue that. I know how important your education is to you. I won’t allow this company to divert you from something you’ve always dreamed of as a little girl.”

  “He can’t what?” she asked flatly.

  “Stella, it’s not—”

  “Shut up,” she said, whipping her head in my direction. “Shut. Up.”

  “Christian is prepared to take over this company, even though he might not realize it. His natural want to learn and digest every single medical journal just because he wants to will push the company in the direction it needs to keep going. You, my beautiful daughter, will want to preserve my legacy within it. Christian will take his intelligence and push it in the direction all modern companies need to go to succeed in the emerging marketplace.”

  “What does all of that mean?” I asked.

  “The mere fact that you ask that question means you aren’t equipped to run the damn company,” Stella said.

  “Don’t worry, I don’t want to run the damn company,” I said.

  “How the hell is he getting the business?” she asked the lawyer. “He doesn’t even want it! That must hold weight in here, right?”

  “Not in the least,” the lawyer said.

  “Is there anything else in that letter?” she asked.

  “Know that I love you and that I have the best interests of both you and the company in mind. I am forever yours. Signed, Your Father,” the lawyer said.

  I watched her stand there, her balled-up fists trembling at her sides while she processed all that was happening. I could see the fiery stare accompanied with her swirling mind, and I had half a notion to think she was going to slug the lawyer. Her shoulders were rolled back, and her muscles were pulled taut, and just as quickly as the soft side of her appeared, it had dissipated.

  And in its place was the spoiled, entitled brat I’d always grown up with.

  “It’s bullshit, and you know it,” she said.

  “It’s apparently what your father wanted,” I said.

  “You don’t even want the company. I spent the entirety of my education grooming myself to take over his company. And what the hell did you do with your time?” she asked.

  “Not that,” I said.

  She spun around on her heels, and her chin-length hair flew around her face. Her anger was turned on me, and I couldn’t help but sit back further in my chair. If there was anything I was familiar with, it was Stella’s wrath when she was angry, but the lawyer’s voice broke through the tension before she could get any ideas about breaking my nose.

  “I am prepared to read Christian’s mother’s letter. Would you like to stay for it?” the lawyer asked.

  And in response, all Stella did was pick up her purse and head for the door. Her footsteps fell heavily on the floor as she headed down the hallway, and the slamming of a door accompanied her furious departure as I let out a breathless chuckle.

  “You can take that as a no,” I said.

  “Would you care for me to read this aloud, Mr. Gunn?” the lawyer asked.

  “Sure, why not,” I said, shrugging.

  “My beautiful son,” the lawyer began, “if this letter is being read to you, then I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not there to see you grow into the man I know you are destined to be.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry that I couldn’t pull the full potential out of you that I saw. From the time you were young, you devoured everything I gave you. Food, drinks, clothes, magazines. You read through my own files from work even though I told you not to and you could spout the facts back to me while only looking at them once. I knew, from the moment you were little, that you had an incredible mind.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose when the lawyer paused. This letter wasn’t anything like the one Stella’s father left her. My mother hadn’t yet said how proud she was of me, and something inside my chest broke.

  “School bored you because you were too smart for the classes, but I didn’t try hard enough to get you moved up. You never enjoyed college because you could always outsmart the professors, and I didn’t fight for your chance to stay enrolled. They thought you were being insubordinate, but I knew you were simply being the intelligent boy I’d given birth to. I didn’t fight hard enough for you, and I’m sorry.”

  I felt a lump rise in my throat. While Stella’s father’s letter was peppered with praise and adulation, my mother felt the need to continually apologize for not being enough. She felt the need to tell me she was sorry for me not growing into the man she thought I could be, and the thought made me sick.

  She died thinking she had been a disappointment as a mother.

  “What I want you to know is that I loved you. I loved you from the moment I found out I was pregnant, and that’s why I left your birth father. I swore to myself I’d make sure my child was raised with the best. I found your stepfather and knew he was the best. I knew he would be able to raise you the way your birth father couldn’t, and that was enough for me. I knew your stepfa
ther would be a stable role model that brought you encouragement and smiles instead of pain and hurt. But, in some ways, I feel like even that was a detriment to you.”

  My birth father was an abusive asshole. My mother didn’t really talk about him, so the only things I knew about him were the digging I did as I got older. I knew he had a temper, and I knew he had a criminal record. I was able to pull it up and see the laundry list of domestic abuse charges against him. When I realized the type of disgusting man he was, I stopped asking my mother about him. I wanted her to finally be free of him, despite the curiosity I had, and I decided that’s what was best for her.

  What was best for us.

  “Are you alright for me to continue?” the lawyer asked.

  “Yeah, yeah. Go on,” I said.

  “I love you with all my heart, Christian. You’re my baby boy, and I always loved you. I wanted to raise you to be a better man than your birth father could have ever been, but in the process of making you a good man, I neglected to teach you how to be a successful one. Please forgive me, my sweet baby boy. I never meant to stunt you in any way.”

  I felt a tear ricochet down my cheek, and I wiped it away before the lawyer saw it. My eyes drifted from the desk to the window, and I paused to take in the wind whipping through the trees. My mother was apologizing to me because she felt my lack of drive was her fault, and I thought I could taste my lunch in the back of my throat. My mother was a good woman, a strong woman. One that loved with a steadfast heart and always had her doors open for anyone to come through. If you were there, she fed you. If you stayed the night, she had clothes for you. If you came in needing a shoulder to cry on, she’d soak up your tears. And then she would feed you so you wouldn’t leave hungry.