Cheaper to Reaper

by Vi Lily

  Another thing I have against Tabby.

  I sigh at the memory and turn toward the area where the women’s clothes are. Toru had been standing at a distance, waiting for me to pick out what I need, but suddenly, he’s in front of me. I look up, surprised.

  “What wrong?” he asks.

  I frown. “Nothing… why?” I mean, yeah, something is wrong, but I don’t need to get into it with him. That whole time of my life is embarrassing, and I wish it was one of those things I couldn’t remember.

  His huge hand comes up and he hesitates, I think watching me for signs of flinching or something. Then he runs his thumb down my cheek and pulls it away. I’m surprised to see the wetness there. I didn’t know I was crying.

  Toru puts his thumb in his mouth and sucks off my tear. My insides get all jittery at what has to be the most tender thing I’ve ever seen.

  Oh man, this guy… I sigh, not with sadness this time. I just wish he wasn’t so awful to look at.

  And I instantly mentally kick myself for that stupid, selfish, vain thought. Gawd! I suck so much.

  “Do not cry.” He mumbles the order in that deep voice as he watches me carefully with his onyx eyes, like he’s making sure I’m really alright. Another girly sigh may or may not have escaped me then.

  I shrug. “Just remembered some stupid stuff from my old life,” I say, trying to sound cheerful and not breathless.

  It dawns on me then: I’ve been attracted to Toru since I first saw him in the hall earlier today. I mean, I still don’t think it’s like a Samuel or Gio attraction, since they’re super good-looking and Toru… definitely isn’t.

  I think my attraction to the half-man with the tragically dreadful exterior, but shockingly beautiful interior, is based solely on some sort of spiritual connection.

  A soul bond.

  I blink rapidly at that realization. Toru must mistake it for more tears threatening, because he very slowly and carefully pulls me into his body and wraps those gargantuan arms around me. I suck in a deep breath; he smells like the earth after a cleansing rain.

  One of my all-time favorite scents.

  He awkwardly pats my back, his big hands nearly covering the whole surface. I can feel his fingers against my bare skin below my blouse. He leans down to whisper in my ear and I realize he has to bend practically in half to do so.

  “No think of before,” he murmurs. “Cause you to hurt. No hurt,” he orders, giving me a gentle, tiny shake as one of his hands slides a little lower. The tips of his fingers press gently into my skin. He’s treating me like I’m made of spun sugar.

  I grin against his chest. Well, it’s really more his upper stomach, thanks to his being freakishly tall and me being not so freakishly small.

  “No hurt,” I agree as my heart melts for the monster who isn’t monstrous at all.

  All too soon Toru releases me and steps back. I take that as my cue to get my butt in gear. Since we’re in the electronics department, I ask him about cellphones and he tells me all Academy students and personnel have them, so I grab one, then turn to the women’s clothes section.

  Toru turns the loveliest shade of red I’ve ever seen when I pick out lacy lingerie. Just to be an ass, I ask him to hold the thongs and bras I pick out. He holds them in front of him with his thumb and forefinger, like he’s afraid he might catch some girliness or something.

  I then find some pajamas, yoga pants, t-shirts and shorts. There’s a rack of seriously cute dresses, but I have no idea if I’ll need them or not. Toru must see my indecision, because he moves closer.

  “You like, you get,” he tells me quietly. I glance up at him and smile.

  “Should never tell a gal that,” I laugh as I nab a couple of dresses and then I see they have shoes, too, which makes me happier than a hog in deep mud.

  I may or may not have squealed.

  Toru silently follows me to the shoe area. He hasn’t grumbled once about me taking too long, or talking too much, or being too happy, or… all the other negative comments I’ve heard over the past eighteen years. He just seems content to follow me and hold my items.

  “I don’t mean to treat you like a pack mule,” I say then as I glance at him. Despite all the stuff I’ve picked out, his arms aren’t even close to being full. He’s a great shopping buddy.

  “No,” he says, and I know he means that he doesn’t think he’s being treated like that. Still, I feel like I need to give him some appreciation.

  I turn to face him and look up so that he’s forced to look me in the eye. He’s so shy that he rarely meets my eyes. I step forward and place my hands on his biceps. The man is so wide that my arms are nearly completely outstretched. Holy hugeness, Batman!

  Toru’s eyes widen at the contact. “I want you to know that I’m liking this,” I say as I jerk my head to the side. “Not just the shopping, but also spending time with you.”

  I smile, press my hands into his hard muscles for emphasis, then turn to look at the display of — be still my little ol’ heart! — heels.

  “I like…” his voice trails off and I turn to look at him in question, but he’s looking away from me, again with red cheeks.

  So adorable.

  I smile to myself as I pick out just two pairs of heels. I figure if I need more, I’ll come back. Surprisingly, I’m tired of clothes shopping already and kind of want to get back to my apartment. But first, I need girly stuff.

  Samuel said that I don’t need makeup, and for once I’ll have to agree. Any more facial enhancement and I’ll just be doing a Lady Gaga imitation. But still, I’m pretty sure I need at least some shampoo and conditioner. Hopefully they have curl defining cream, or else I’m gonna be rocking a big, ugly blonde afro. And by ugly, I mean clown hair. When my hair gets frizzy, it ain’t pretty.

  And then there’s another problem. I glance at Toru and chew my bottom lip, debating whether to ask him a question that’s gonna have both our cheeks flaming. I glance up, wondering if there’s sprinkler systems in the afterlife. Afraid we might set it off.

  He sees me looking at him and he cocks his head to the side. I grin; whenever he does that, it makes me want to pet him. Then my grin fades and I clear my throat.

  “Uh, I hate to ask…” I pause, unsure how I’m gonna approach this without burning down the castle.

  “Whatever you want,” he says simply as his big shoulders shrug. I realize with a shock that he means it; whatever I want, this big guy is all for.

  I wave my hand. “No, it’s just that… uh, well, do we have the same, um, needs in these bodies as we did before?”

  His black eyes widen in shock and then flicker down my body. I realize that I just basically asked the guy for a hook up.

  “No! That wasn’t what I meant! I mean, well, yeah, that’s a need too, I guess, but that wasn’t what I was… not that I’m saying that it’s not something that I… well, you know, after we get to know each other… uh, but that’s sorta impossible I think, with your size, my size… not sure how that would even work…”

  I shake my head then and clear my throat. My usual ramblings have taken on epic proportions.

  Well, after that bit of embarrassment, the question I really need to ask isn’t going to be so bad. I clear my throat again.

  “I meant to ask if girls in the afterlife still have, um, the crimson tide.”

  He frowns at me. Oh great, he doesn’t get it. “Uh, do we get the painters in?” Still frowning.

  “Mister monthly visitor?” Nope.

  “Aunt Flo?” Nada.

  Dammit.

  I sigh. “Do girls in the afterlife still bleed every month?” There, graphic, descriptive and to the point. Period. Haha.

  I really didn’t think such a color was possible on a human being. It’s sort of a cross between ruby and magenta. Toru won’t meet my eyes now and I want to laugh.

  “Do not think so,” he mutters to the ground.

  I throw my arms in the air. “Woo! Score!” No periods would be ay-may-zeen, cuz I
have horrible cramps, like call in sick type and a seriously heavy flow that forces me to keep my legs elevated. Unfortunately, these are the things I do remember. All too well.

  Toru startles at my outburst and I swear that a smile damned near almost crosses his lips. One of these days, big guy, I’m gonna get you to grin, I mentally promise him.

  No matter what, he’s gonna smile at me someday.

  Chapter 9

  A FTER THE SHOPPING, I ask Toru to take me back to the cafeteria, because, of course, I still have no clue how to get there. And that’s even with trying to pay attention. But then, I have a big, loveable, adorable — on the inside at least — guy distracting me.

  Even though it’s really late, Toru doesn’t question it. In fact, he doesn’t question anything that I ask of him. Doesn’t argue. Doesn’t even make a face. And he insists on carrying all my bags.

  He’s like the best friend ever.

  When we get to the cafeteria, I ask him to let me try ordering. I need to learn how this place works sometime, after all. I doubt I’ll be able to drag Toru around with me everywhere, although that idea definitely is appealing.

  He drops my bags on a chair at a nearby table and then we walk up to the counter. I’m not sure exactly where to put my hand, but if it’s anything like the walls and doors in this place, just about anywhere will do.

  I look at Toru for confirmation as I hold my hand above the counter. He nods, so I slap my hand down and instantly regret it when pain shoots up through my wrist. I think I hit it a little too hard in my excitement to try the ordering by myself.

  Toru is on me instantly, gently taking my hand and rubbing it, frowning with worry as he checks for injury. I mean, I barely hit it and it was totally my fault, but he’s acting like I just got mauled by a bear or something.

  It’s so sweet.

  “I’m okay,” I whisper to him and bend my fingers into his hand reassuringly. He then turns my hand over and gently places it on the counter.

  “Touch, not hit,” he murmurs, and I giggle.

  “Sorry, I got excited. I want you to try my favorite after shopping treat. It’s sort of a tradition.”

  The display lights up and I wait for a voice to come on like the one on the display in my apartment, but nothing happens. Then I remember when Toru ordered our drinks, he just put his hand on the display and told it what we wanted.

  “Two Dr Pepper floats and a double order of onion rings,” I say. I sure hope this magic machine or whatever it is knows how to make extra crispy rings, cuz the soggy kind are gross.

  The display blinks, then a notice flashes that says the onion rings will take five minutes, but our floats slide out into the cooler almost immediately. Toru picks up the tall glasses and walks to the table where he set my bags. I guess at this time of night, he feels safe out in the open and not in the corner.

  Poor baby, I think as my heart hurts once again for him. Having to hide your whole life, to stay away from other humans… it has to suck.

  He pokes at the scoop of ice cream floating in his glass with his spoon and I covertly watch him. He somehow manages to be graceful in all his movements, despite his size, while I’m as clumsy as a three-legged bull in a glass factory.

  I spoon some ice cream in my mouth and moan. I love my floats and shakes. Hell, I just love ice cream. It’s a wonder I don’t look like a mama hog about to pop out a litter of young’uns.

  “Can we get fat in these bodies?” I ask as my eyes travel over his broad shoulders and down his flat stomach. There isn’t a pinch of fat anywhere on him, but I have no idea what he does for exercise. Hell, maybe we don’t have to exercise in these bodies. Wouldn’t that be freaking awesome? I hate running, I can’t swim, and I definitely don’t like doing anything with weights.

  For someone who has a tendency to drop things like, oh, say one of those really heavy balls that then goes rolling across the gym, knocking weight stacks over and toppling people like bowling pins before crashing into a wall of mirrors, I can tell you that gym stuff is not a good idea.

  Just sayin’.

  Toru’s eyes flicker over my body and I feel a slight thrill. It’s so weird, this attraction I have to him. Like a beauty and the beast story, except I can’t really call myself a beauty and I definitely can’t call him a beast now that I’ve spent time with him.

  So, like Cutie and the Sweet.

  “You not fat,” Toru grunts as he takes a drink. I notice that he’s not using the straw and I wonder if it’s because of his wide mouth.

  “Well, I know I’m not fat now,” I laugh, “but I was just wonderin’ if I could get fat. Just wanna know if I need to lay off the shakes and floats or something.”

  Toru shakes his head. “You like, you eat.” He says it like it’s just that simple. He’s probably never spent much time with females to know that most of us obsess over these things.

  I realize that with his limited vocabulary or lack of English fluency, I’m not going to get answers I need to a lot of things and make a mental note to speak to Gio in the morning.

  The counter chimes then and announces that our onion rings are ready. Before I can even blink, Toru is on his feet and headed that way.

  He sets the big plate in front of me, then takes his seat across from mine. I laugh and scoot the plate to the middle of the table.

  “They’re for sharing,” I tell him. He looks up in surprise, like no one has ever shared anything with him before.

  I take a little ring off the top and pop it in my mouth, but the thing has just come from the pit of Hell, apparently, because it is oozing molten lava. I open my mouth to suck some air onto it, then snatch up my float and take a chug. Of course, I freaking choke on the ring when it washes down to the back of my throat and lodges.

  Before I can even make the “I’m choking” sign, Toru is on his feet and yanks me up, then turns me over his arm while pats my back like an infant. I would laugh if I could get any air.

  He gently pounds on my back a few times and the ring finally pops out. It was just a few seconds and I’m not even that out of breath. He stops pounding on me then and starts rubbing soothing circles. It feels great, but I can’t really breathe with my body hanging over his arm like that, so I wiggle a little.

  Instead of setting me down, Toru turns me and holds me up so that I’m eye level with him. I put my hands on his shoulders out of instinct, I guess. It’s not like he’s going to drop me or anything. He’s holding me like I weigh nothing more than a housecat.

  “You hurt self. Not good.” He gives me a little shake then. I can’t help but giggle, which makes his eyes narrow at me.

  “Not funny. You no hurt.”

  Seriously, it’s so cute how he gets upset when I get hurt or hurt myself, but if we’re gonna be hanging out, he’s gonna be upset a lot. I reach up and put my hands on his cheeks. I don’t miss the way he flinches at the contact. I don’t think it’s a matter of him not wanting to be touched; I think he’s worried that I’m going to be grossed out by his scars or something.

  From this close I can see that his black eyes are actually very dark brown with tiny flecks of copper. They’re so dark, though, they reflect our surroundings. And my face. They’re really beautiful.

  My hands don’t even cover his cheeks as I use my thumbs to rub from his nose out over his cheekbones. His eyes are wary, fearful even. I can’t imagine a guy his size being afraid of anything, especially not someone like me who weighs as much as one of his arms.

  But then I wonder if he’s afraid of being judged, which is most likely. Wondering if I’m going to be disgusted by his looks this close up. I want to tell him that I think he’s wonderful.

  On impulse, I lean forward and touch my lips to his. He startles but doesn’t return the kiss. I realize then that his wide mouth probably isn’t capable of puckering. I pull back, then kiss the end of his doggy looking nose before grinning.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” I say as I squish his cheeks toward his nose. I then
lean forward and rub my nose against his. “You’re just the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, loveablest man I’ve ever known!”

  Apparently, my enthusiasm causes me to make up words, but Toru doesn’t seem to mind. He looks seriously shocked by my declaration. Or maybe it was my affection that’s causing the wide-eyed stare I’m getting. I giggle and kick a little, letting him know I want down.

  He places me on the chair next to him, I’m sure so I’ll be in arms’ reach, which is kind of funny. When he sits down, he picks up his float and takes a big swallow as I reach over to grab mine.

  And then it’s Toru’s turn to choke.

  He’s coughing, though, so I don’t try to Heimlich him or anything. Honestly, I don’t know how in the world I would. I mean, I guess I could push him over onto the ground and jump up and down on his stomach or something. Ain’t no way I’m getting my arms around him though.

  His face is seriously red, even though I can tell he’s breathing. It’s even redder than when I asked my feminine product question. I’m starting to worry he’s having a stroke or something.

  But then I notice his eyes keep darting down to my chest, before quickly looking away like he got caught doing something he shouldn’t. I glance down and gasp and curse at the same time. My blouse came untied from under my boobs when he was unchoking me and it’s wide open. And my bare boobs are a’flappin’ in the breeze.

  I laugh in embarrassment as I pull the blouse closed. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice the cool air on the girls before, but I guess it’s because I’d been so caught up in Toru and all. Since he’s already seen all there is to see, I go ahead and button it up, not worrying about nips showing through the material as it lays flat against them.

  Toru won’t look at me now, and I know it’s because he’s embarrassed that he got caught looking at my titties. I want to laugh, because any other young male would have thrown some money my way for more of a show. And I don’t blame him for looking; when it’s hanging all out there for all of God’s creation to see, who’s not gonna stare?